OP Full Blast: Across the Sands
by TheRealEvanSG
Summary: Damon D. Digger expected a lot of things, and one of them was NOT to fall into the world of One Piece! But he ended up doing just that. He's joined the Straw Hats and finally entered the Grand Line, but new tests await him, including more genderbending, a kingdom in rebellion, and an angry ghost from his past. FemLuffy Fem!Luffy x OC Book 2. Current Arc: Drum Kingdom.
1. No 1: Welcome to the Grand Line!

**You better get ready, folks, because the next book in the ****_One Piece: Full Blast_**** series has finally arrived! I've got some serious shit planned for Damon to go through. It's gonna be hilarious, trust me. XD Poor Damon... I kinda feel bad for him. Not really. lol.**

**Chapter 1 start!**

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Welcome to the Grand Line!

How Much Trouble Can One Whale Cause? A Lot.  


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If, four weeks ago, you'd have told me that I'd be climbing a mountain in a ship with a goat figurehead as part of a pirate crew captained by a rubbery girl wearing a straw hat, I'd have told you that you were insane. But there I was, the wind whipping my leather jacket back, the sea spraying in my face, getting colder and colder with each passing second.

Let me just say that in the One Piece anime, it had seemed like they'd reached the top of Reverse Mountain in just a few minutes. Was that how it was in real life? No. In actuality, it took the better part of two hours to reach the top.

And that was to reach the _top_.

"I can't believe we actually made it," I muttered. "We almost crashed against the water gate." The storm had soaked my leather jacket and best ninja T-shirt. My jeans were so heavy it felt like they were falling down, even if they weren't. I took one look at Lucy, my captain, and was glad her favorite color was red. The only things _she_ had on was a straw hat, a red vest with a low-V cut, and short jean shorts, as well as sandals. If she'd been wearing a white top, I would've been able to see through to her breasts, because she didn't like bras. And her chest was, possibly, even bigger than Nami's. She had a thin scar under one eye.

And yes, she was the girl version of Monkey D. Luffy, the original captain of the Straw Hat Pirates in the plot of the anime and manga.

You may be wondering what I'm doing climbing up a mountain with the Straw Hats and a female Luffy. Well, it's a long story, but to sum it up in a few words, I met a god named Aeso who turned out to be my father and sent me to an alternate universe of One Piece in order to save the multiverse. Since then, I'd followed the crew's adventures through the Baratie sea restaurant, Conomi Island and Arlong Park, Loguetown, and a brief visit to the Calm Belt, where I'd nearly become fish food for a frog.

And I was starting to feel weird around Lucy.

So basically, my life was screwed over.

Nami, our redheaded navigator who had steered us through countless storms and rough seas, had taken off her pink rain coat and was letting it flutter behind her in the rough wind. "Now we'll just ride the current straight to the peak!" she said, her voice sweet and girly. She felt like the kleptomaniac older sister I'd never had. She had a huge chest, and it was tough to say whose was larger, Nami's or Lucy's. Not that it really mattered. Anyway, right now Nami was wearing a sky blue diamond-patterned shirt with a navy heart above her chest, as well as short shorts that barely covered anything and sneakers. A blue tattoo of a pinwheel and a tangerine, her favorite food, stood out on her left shoulder.

"Sweet!" Lucy giggled. She was prone to giggling a lot. She jumped onto her special captain's seat, saying, "I want the best spot when we get into the Grand Line!" Her long, raven-black hair fluttered wildly in the wind.

It was hard to hear everyone over the roar of the wind and the current.

Sanji and Usopp, our cook and sniper respectively, had linked each other in a one armed hug and were doing a victory dance. Sanji was wearing his usual expensive, pristine black suit and blue undershirt. His eye brow was so swirly it made me dizzy to look at it, and his blonde hair hid his left eye from view. I made a mental note to ask him why he had hid his eye in the first place. But then again, when I was wearing an eye patch, I couldn't really be one to talk.

Usopp was in brown overalls and a tan, diamond-patterned bandana. He had green, heavy shoes and a tan bag that held his various Sure-Kill Stars. He had the world's longest nose and had joined the crew just before I'd fallen into this world. He told many a lie.

Zoro was standing at the front of the deck, and I was unable to see his face from this position. He wore a plain white shirt, dark green pants, a green haramaki, and had green hair. The swordsman's signature three swords hung at his side. One had a white case; Wado Ichimonji. The other two had black and maroon cases, and I didn't know or remember their names yet. Zoro was the unofficial first mate of the Straw Hats. Lucy put an incredible amount of trust into him, and it made me a little... jealous?

"Say, Damon, back in Loguetown, you were freaking out," Nami said suddenly, face-faulting. "We never really had a chance to ask you about that. Why do you hate clowns?"

I shivered at the thought of clowns, then sighed and sat down on the upper deck Indian style. "You want to know the terribly sad story of how I came to fear clowns?" I sighed.

The rest of the crew looked at each other, then said in unison, "Hai."

"Yosh." I said. There was the sound of a drum and pink sakura petals started flowing around me. "It happened a long time ago, when I was six. I had been celebrating my birthday at my grandmother's house when my uncle, who worked as a clown, showed up and tossed one of my presents out the window. Unfortunately, there happened to be a pool outside the window, and the present, a comic book, was destroyed. It was the last thing I'd ever get from my grandmother because she died a few days later."

There was a long pause. The sakura petals vanished.

Then Sanji, Nami, and Zoro shouted, "THAT'S IT!? YOU'RE AFRAID OF CLOWNS BECAUSE YOUR UNCLE RUINED YOUR COMIC BOOK!?"

Lucy and Usopp burst into tears and hugged me. I blushed from the close contact with my female captain.

"That was so sad~!" they cried. "What a terrible misfortune! Gomendasai!"

I sniffed and looked down. "A-Arigatou."

The other three Straw Hats sweatdropped. Zoro had a look that clearly said he thought I was the stupidest person who ever lived. I couldn't tell whether Nami wanted to laugh at me or do a facedesk. Sanji just had a blank look.

Suddenly I face-faulted. "Eh? Where did the sakura petals come from?"

"SO SLOW!" Nami roared.

A few hours later, when I had started getting hungry again, the slope we were climbing up abruptly steepened and it got noticeably colder. Our breath was visible and my skin was crawling with the chill. We had finally passed out of the storm and could see the top of Reverse Mountain: A giant explosion of water that was spraying everywhere. Sunlight reflected off of it and into our eyes. We started slowing a little.

"Look, the mountain peak!" called Lucy. "We made it to the top! We're getting there, man~! We're getting there~!"

"Please don't start that up again, Luce," I complained, shielding my eyes. "And what the hell's up with this stupid light?"

Nami laughed, now happy again. "We're so high up that the ocean's freezing into ice crystals and reflecting the sunlight back at us!"

"It's beautiful..." our captain muttered.

We hit the plume of water and we were thrown into the air crazily. I yelled, my stomach feeling like it had dropped all the way back down to the East Blue. Lucy laughed and giggled, and we crashed back down into one of the other currents... luckily, the one going down into the Grand Line. We landed with enough impact to rattle my bones, but it was a great feeling nonetheless.

"We made it!" I gasped. "I was sure we were gonna smash to pieces on the mountainside, but we made it!"

An unbelievable joy coursed through my veins. No, not even joy: It was a feeling of ecstasy. I broke out into a Lucy-sized smile and laughed until my throat was sore. As we descended down Reverse Mountain, I was so euphoric I almost joined Usopp and Sanji in their victory dance. Below us, a wide expanse of ocean was spread out before our eyes. It was like an eternal blanket that wrapped around the entire world.

_The One Piece is out there at the end of that sea_, I thought. _So is countless adventures. And maybe the path for me to keep my promise to Cracked-Up Kane, and become the world's best martial artist._

"I can see it!" Lucy told us excitedly. "The greatest ocean in the world! It's the Grand Line!"

It was a pretty epic moment.

As our ship shook and rode the current, we sailed into a cloud. _A cloud_. It was white and puffy and cold against my skin, but I'd never felt more awesome. I was on a ship in the clouds. How many other kids got this chance? I'll tell ya! None!

"This is the best!" Sanji shouted from somewhere behind me. I couldn't see much because the cloud was even thicker than mist. Usopp laughed in pure joy.

I grinned and zipped up my leather jacket to keep me warm. "This is awesome! It's like a roller coaster at 10,000 feet!"

"What's a roller coaster?" Nami said, raising her voice to make it carry over the wind.

"Not important!"

"Oh!"

Suddenly something moaned loudly. In the chaos of the white fluff whipping past, I had no idea where it was coming from, but it sounded like this: _WOOAAAOOO_. Somehow my mind was able to translate this to, _Oi, bastard mountain! Give me back my friends!_ My neck tingled. Something huge was up ahead, even bigger than some of those sea kings we'd encountered in the Calm Belt.

"Did you hear something just now?" Zoro asked loudly.

I narrowed my eyes and squinted through the cloud. "Yeah! Whatever it is wants its friends back! It said something like the mountain took them!"

"You could understand that?"

"What are you two talking about?" Nami yelled.

"Damon and I heard a strange noise!" he called back.

She was close enough that I could see her shrug and return to looking down the mountainside, still grinning widely. "Must've been the wind! There's a lot of strange rock formations here that could have caused it."

"How come I was able to understand it, then?" I asked. "I don't think that wind has friends, Nami!"

The moan came again. _Please, I beg you! Let them through so I can see them one more time! _As I squinted downriver, a dark shape was becoming visible through the thinning white cotton-candy-like cloud.

"Let who through?" I bellowed.

"What's that?" Usopp said in surprise. "Could you really understand that sound just now, Damon?"

"Nami-san, I see a mountain up ahead!" Sanji reported.

"A mountain?" she repeated, turning to look at us in shock. "There can't be!"

"But I see it right there!"

"Who cares?" giggle Lucy. "Let's just GOOOO!"

"After the Twin Capes, which we're sailing towards now, there should be nothing but ocean!"

A memory of the original Straw Hats' trip across the Red Line hit me like a sledgehammer and I paled. "That's not a mountain! That's an enormous whale! That must be why I can understand the moans; I'm able to talk to creatures of the sea!"

"A WHALE!?" everyone roared. "HOW CAN THAT BE A WHALE!?"

"This is the Grand Line we're talking about!" I replied. "Besides storms that are nearly impossible to navigate and predict, there are islands submerged 10,000 feet deep in water, as well as monsters like goldfish the size of islands here!"

"Hontou?" said Usopp with interest.

Finally, the Going Merry broke through the clouds and we all were able to see it for ourselves. It was enormous, maybe half as big as Reverse Mountain, and it was navy blue with scars across its head. The monster also had a mouth full of teeth the size of houses. I had a feeling that if it wasn't so huge, it might've been kind of cute, but the sheer size of it made me wanna throw up. And the stupid thing was directly in our path! If we weren't able to change course (and unfortunately, I just remembered that Usopp and Sanji had broken our steering rudder while trying to get on the right current up the mountain), then we'd smash into the whale and be reduced to little more than timbers and splinters.

"OH MY GODS WE'RE GONNA DIE!" I cried.

"We are!?" Usopp screeched. "Don't say those things when you're the psychic unless you mean them, plea-he-he-hease!" He made an indescribable moan of terror. "W-W-What do we do?!"

"Fight it?" Lucy offered, still sitting on the goat figurehead.

"BAKA!" Nami admonished her. "We can't fight something that huge! It'll just eat us and then everything will be over!"

"T-T-T-The current's taking us right to it!" cried the sniper. "What are we going to dooooo?"

Zoro and Sanji were just staring at the whale in a kind of awed horror. Like with the sea kings, I would have found their expressions funny if I wasn't feeling the exact same thing myself.

"Wait a minute," said the cook, biting his lip. "We've gotten this close, but it still just looks like a huge wall. So where's its _eyes?_"

"WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THAT NOW!?" I shouted, tic-pulsing and crying anime tears. "THE RUDDER'S BROKEN! AT THIS SPEED, WE'RE GONNA CRASH INTO IT AND DIE WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES!"

But Nami gasped. "You're right! It might not have noticed us!"

"LIKE I SAID, IT DOESN'T MATTER! IT'S STILL IN OUR WAY! WE'LL STILL CRASH AND DIE, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T EAT US! WE NEED TO SLOW DOWN OR SOMETHING!"

"Damon's right," agreed Zoro, gritting his teeth. Suddenly he hit his palm in realization and pointed to the left. "Oi, look! There's an opening right over there!"

"WELL, THAT'D BE JUST GREAT IF WE ACTUALLY _HAD A HELM, NOW, WOULDN'T IT!_"

"We have to do something, dammit!" cursed the swordsman, as everybody started scrambling about, looking for a way to get us to go left. "Damon! Can you command the sea to take us through the opening?"

"Maybe!" I shot back. "But I don't know if I actually can! It was hard enough to control it at the base of the mountain, let alone when it's this freakin' fast! Haven't you noticed that it's at least double the speed it was coming up?"

Lucy pounded her fist, somehow keeping her balance while standing on the figurehead. "Ah! Got it! Minna, I just got a good idea!"

"I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU IN THE AFTERLIFE IF I DIE AND YOU SURVIVE!" I informed her, crying anime tears again. In the short three weeks I'd been with these insane people, I'd learned that whenever Monkey D. Lucy got a good idea, it was likely to result in a near-death experience.

"Lucy?" said Nami in confusion. "What are you doing?"

The rubber girl jumped off the figurehead and onto the upper deck of the Merry, running over to the storage room. A second later she came out with a cannonball and loaded it into the cannon that we hadn't used since the Baratie. Meanwhile, the other guys were in the kitchen, trying desperately to force the broken rudder to move, but it wasn't budging.

The whale was only about eight hundred meters away, the distance closing fast.

_BOOM_.

An almighty explosion shook our poor ship, and for a second I wondered if we'd crashed against the oversized whale; But when I didn't break all the bones in my body, I opened my eyes to see black smoke billowing up from the cannon and I put two and two together. Lucy had fired the cannon at the whale.

Nami had fallen into the railing and backed away, retching in shock.

"Hey, wait a minute..." I realized. "What's this feeling like I'm flying...?" I twisted around and saw nothing but water below me. My eyes widened in horror and I cursed Newton's Law of Inertia. Because objects at motion tend to stay in motion, when the opposite force from the cannon firing caused our ship to slow down, it also caused me to keep going and fly off the Merry.

"Damon!" Nami shouted, her voice laced with horror and her eyes wide.

_SPLASH!_

It was too late. I had already fallen into the current, a rapid deadlier than any before it.

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**Well, talk about a cliffhanger! Will Damon survive or not? Will the Straw Hats survive or not? Follow and/or favorite my story to find out and be updated when I post the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please note that although popularity is appreciated, it is most definitely not needed. I would appreciate it if the people who had followed/favorited the first installment to this series would do the same to this one, though.  
**

Damon: Sanji, Nami, and Zoro are mean! That comic book was the last thing I ever got from my grandma!

Lucy: THAT WAS SO SAD~!

Usopp: WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO DO TO A KID~!

Nami: YOU GUYS ARE STILL GOING ON ABOUT THAT!?

Usopp: We're gonna crash into the whale and diiiiiiieeee!

Sanji: Just shut up and help us pull the rudder already!

Zoro: It's no use! It's stuck!

Usopp: WE'RE GONNA DIE!

**Leave a review saying what you liked about this chapter, found funny about it, didn't like, or what you think I could change in the future! And if you have a question about my story, write it as a review! I will do my best to explain it. I will write replies to reviews in the top section of the next chapter to be posted.  
**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	2. No 2: The King's Doctor and His Patient!

**Alright, minna! Here we go! Let's meet the enormous whale from the West Blue, Laboon, and the weird old man known as Crocus! Get ready for more hilarity with Damon's little... er... _problem_. Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter (holy shit were there a lot! That's good!):**

**DarkLord98:** Oh, you'll see. You'll see. And I was definitely gonna include Laboon because he was a necessary part of one of the character's pasts... plus he had a really sad back story, and I'm weak for sad back stories. I'm also thinking about including the arc where their flag gets stolen, you know, from in between Post-Water 7 and Thriller Bark.

**OPFan37: **Arigatou! Your story was really good, too. I'm looking forward to learning more about Ellix.

**Silverscale: **Yup, pretty much. That definitely suits him, eh? He's pretty much a wimp who just hides in the sidelines. Doesn't even get much screen time. XD

**Otaku-san32: **Well, I just try to make his reactions they way a real person would react. I'm glad you think I got it down! Plus, I've always liked fem!Luffy stories. It's a cool idea, am I right? You definitely will. Trust me, it's gonna be even more hilarious and Damon's gonna be even more awesome than in the first book.

**Guest: **arigatou, random person! XD Cliffhangers are both awesome and terrible. lol

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Now you can refer back to this come exam day. lol! That's pretty funny that your roommate thought that. Makes a guy feel awesome. Are you in college or boarding school or something? 'Cause that'd be pretty interesting if you were. And cool, since I'm only 15. XD

**Chapter 2 start!**

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Stomach Acid, Charades, and Gags  


Meeting the King's Doctor and his Patient!

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**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_"Hey, wait a minute..." I realized. "What's this feeling like I'm flying...?" I twisted around and saw nothing but water below me. My eyes widened in horror and I cursed Newton's Law of Inertia. Because objects at motion tend to stay in motion, when the opposite force from the cannon firing caused our ship to slow down, it also caused me to keep going and fly off the Merry._

_"Damon!" Nami shouted, her voice laced with horror and her eyes wide._

_SPLASH!_

_It was too late. I had already fallen into the current, a rapid deadlier than any before it._

I hit the current with enough force to knock the breath clear out of me. My body ached from the impact and I was tossed head-over-heels. I now knew what my socks felt like in the washing machine. Water pressed down all around me, and I was sure that if I hadn't been a demigod and a son of Aeso, I'd have died. As it was, the rapids turned me over and over so many times that I couldn't tell which way was up. I smashed my head against the rocky bottom and saw stars.

_The current's gonna carry me straight down into that whale's belly!_ I realized in horror. _I'll be smashed against its side and get killed, and if that doesn't happen then the Merry will run me over and I'll die anyway!_ I tried desperately to control the ocean and force myself to the left. After a horrible few seconds of rebellion, my fear gave way to absolute panic and I yelled at the current to change direction. I thought I head it huff in anger, but it obeyed.

A dark shape passed by my arm just as I was ripped sharply to the side, somehow not even losing my eye patch from Loguetown. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank the gods I don't have to hold my breath underwater," I mumbled as I was carried away from the whale. "Otherwise I'd have drowned by now."

I stopped being tugged by the water when I was about a hundred meters away from the monstrous whale - - Laboon, if I remembered his name correctly - - when there was another pull. This time, though, the water wouldn't respond to me. I screamed underwater and was tugged... was tugged... past a huge white boulder-like tooth and into Laboon's mouth.

My first thought? _I've been eaten!_

My second thought? _My skin's gonna fry in stomach acid!_

How ironic. I'd been punched hard enough to knock me out, chased by rabid Rottweilers the size of tour buses, got the crap beaten out of me by a walking shark, nearly become frog food, and faced an army of my deepest fears, only to pull a Jonah and get eaten by a whale.

The water changed from blue to pale green, then to bright green. There was a dark shape above me, but I was moving fast enough that I passed on its other side. My skin was starting to burn, and I knew if I stayed in this muck for any longer, I'd be nothing more than a skeleton. That dark shape had to mean something. Could it be the Merry? Had it caught up to me? Or was it the ship/island thing that the old doctor had built?

I blinked.

The doctor! Crocus! He was a member of... a member of _that crew_... I _had _to see him! Now that I had come out of my immeasurable high from climbing Reverse Mountain, I was remembering the anime again; I had watched Season 2 of One Piece two days ago, so my memory was fresh. I narrowed my eyes, aimed at a spot that would, at this angle, throw me onto the dark shape, and built up pressure beneath my feet. "TEMPEST ROCKET!" I roared, exploding out of the green stuff.

My first thought? _Why the hell is the sky above me?_

My second thought? _I shot myself too far!_

My third thought? _How can I see?_

I was out of the stomach acid now, but I was confused as hell. Wind whipped by my face, and I squinted to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. There was a blue sky and white clouds above me, as well as black birds far off in the distance, so far they looked like little V's. When I twisted around, I saw a small island with a mini palm tree, a house, and a lawn chair. That would be Crocus's place. And to the right of that was...

"The Merry!" I gasped. But it wasn't in good shape. The figurehead was broken, and Lucy wouldn't be too happy about that at all.

"Damon!" yelled Nami, staring up at me in shock, her jaw dropped.

I stopped flying upwards and started falling to the Going Merry. "Yeah, I'm alive!" I called back. "But I won't be in about two seconds if _nobody catches me!_"

_WHAM._ I slammed into someone's body and rolled off, feeling like hell. There was a strangled hiss next to me, and when I looked, I saw Usopp lying broken on the upper deck of the ship. I'd accidentally fallen into the weakest person on the ship.

"D-D-D-Damon..." rasped Usopp, body twitching. "I'm gonna k-k-k-kill you one of these days..."

I waved cheerfully. "Arigatou! Thanks for catching me!"

"Die p-p-p-painfully..."

"Okay, this just proves it," muttered Zoro. "We're definitely dead or dreaming. There's a sky, an island, and Damon, who we clearly saw fall into the current and get swept away. We must all be in some kind of pirate heaven or something."

"No matter which way ya look it at, we all must have been swallowed by the whale," Sanji said calmly.

I leaned against the railing of the Merry, racking my brain for the reason why Laboon had a sky in his belly. Ah! Yes, that was it! Crocus had painted it on the walls of the whale's stomach!

"Sanji's right," I spoke up. "I had almost escaped it, but then he started swallowing water and the pull was too strong even for me to control, because it was added with the current running down the mountainside."

Usopp had finally gotten to his feet, and when he saw the island in front of us, he had such a comically shocked face that I burst out in laughter. His hand twitched. "I-Is this a dream?"

"Yeah," the swordsman agreed. "It's most likely a dream."

Nami nodded, still looking shocked stiff. "Ah. So then that house...?"

"Probably an illusion."

I hit him over the head. "Dumbass! You can't be dreaming and have an illusion at the same time!" Then my neck tingled, making me jump a little. Something surfaced in front of the ship, coming so close that, if the figurehead hadn't already been broken, it would've been knocked off.

And what was the creature, you may ask? I'll tell ya: _A giant freakin' squid bigger than our ship!_ But it was a baby in comparison to those sea kings we encountered a couple days ago... and I'm fairly certain Usopp still crapped himself in terror.

"A, so desu ka," our navigator said shakily. "A-And this?"

"That would be a giant squid," I offered, drawing water from the acid. After all, any liquid has water in it. That's what makes it a liquid. I figured that stomach acid had water, too, and sure enough, I was able to pull some blue from the green. I wrapped it around my fist, getting ready to punch that stupid squid to oblivion (sorry, Aeso, but after sea kings and giant whales, I'd had enough of sea life), but before I could, three harpoons stabbed it through the back and dragged it to the island/ship.

Nami and Usopp were cowering together behind the main mast, making me sweatdrop.

"Looks like someone's home," Zoro commented.

Sanji tensed his legs. "Let's just hope it's a person."

I grinned and leaned forward against the railing eagerly. To see a part of _that_ man's crew in real life... it would be an honor beyond compare! Well, except for actually being a Straw Hat... but still! As us three waited, Nami and Usopp cried anime tears.

"No more! No more!" moaned Nami miserably. "I wanna go home!"

Usopp sniffed. "If Lucy were here, she'd know what to do."

I face-faulted. "Where is Lucy, anyway?"

"She was thrown off the ship," Sanji informed me, gritting his teeth. "I... I couldn't save her." He sunk to the deck of the Merry in depression. "I'm too weak to live..."

I sweatdropped again.

"I hope she's alright," Nami added.

* * *

The passageway was long and dimly lit. It was held up by various wooden support beams and was made completely out of some steel-like metal. Its single occupant twisted her head around in confusion, scratching her straw hat and frowning.

"What the hell is going on here?" muttered Straw Hat Lucy. "What's up with this whale? First it has a door and now it's got a hallway!"

* * *

"Ah, she'll be fine," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "We've been in worse situations than this."

"WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN THIS!?" Nami roared, tic-pulsing.

"Sh-Shoot it!" Usopp ordered. "Blast the cannon at the island!"

"No, hang on a second," soothed Sanji. "Someone's coming out,"

A man stepped out of the shadows of the house, and my eyes lit up in sparkles. The old guy dragged in the whale and came fully into the light, allowing me to see him clearly. He wore a reddish/pink shirt with a green, leafy middle, and had a scraggly green fur necklace. His hair and mustache were white, and he had some weird hat that looked like the petals of a flower. Two Log Poses were strapped onto his arm, as well as a bunch of rings. He also wore glasses.

I was so excited I couldn't speak.

"It's a flower!" gasped Sanji.

"A flower?" Zoro retorted. "That's definitely a man."

"He shot that squid down..." Nami said in a small voice.

Our cook frowned and eyed the man. "Was he fishing or saving us?"

I turned to the crew and waved excitedly.

Usopp raised his eyebrow. "I think Damon's trying to tell us something." I nodded in confirmation, then pointed to my lips and shook my head. "He... can't speak." I nodded again. "Okay, can you tell us in another way? Like, say, charades?"

I thought about that, then nodded. I held up a finger.

"Okay, first word," Usopp said. I pointed at Nami, then scrambled up the main mast to the crow's nest and pulled out a belli. Nami narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but I ignored her and pretended to get sparkles in my eyes. Usopp pounded his palm.

"Money!" he guessed. I shook my head. "Uh, belli? Gold?" I nodded. "Okay, gold," Usopp said. "The first word's _gold_." Meanwhile, the rest of the crew had started to talk to Crocus, who was doing his running gag thing.

I nodded and held up two fingers.

"Second word."

I saluted.

"Um... 'aye-aye?' 'Yes, sir?' 'Roger?'"

I nodded and grinned.

"Okay, second word's _roger."_

I scrambled down the mast and pointed to each of the crew in turn. Then I waved my hands in circle and pointed to the Jolly Roger on our sail. Usopp rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Er... nakama? Pirates? Pirate crew?"

I nodded excitedly, pointed to Crocus, and the sniper's jaw dropped.

"EH? That ossan was a part of Gold Roger's pirate crew?!"

"I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" howled Zoro angrily, thumbing upon his sword while Sanji tried to calm him down. I snickered. Crocus sure knew how to push that dude's buttons. "OI, DAMON! DON'T JUST LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK!" He took out his frustration by whacking me with the still-sheathed Wado Ichimonji.

I was knocked to the ground, but when I got up, I tic-pulsed and yelled, "Bastard! Why did you just randomly hit me!?" I face-faulted. "Oh, hey, I can talk again! Arigatou, Zoro!"

He sweatdropped. "You're bipolar, I swear."

Nami nodded her agreement. "Tell me about it."

On the beach, Crocus suddenly glared at me, making me freeze. "Previously-mute kid!" he called. There was a moment where none of us said anything, and he narrowed his eyes. I raised my eyebrow at my friends' tension. "You're right. I was a part of Roger's crew. How did you know that?" He glared at me again.

"I'm a psychic," I explained. "Can I have your autograph?"

The tension on the Merry grew, and I frowned at my crew's antics.

"Sure," said Crocus.

"THAT'S IT!?" Zoro roared, so ticked it off it was actually kinda funny. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, OSSAN!?"

"Haven't you heard of a running gag?" the old man huffed indignantly.

"THAT WAS A GAG?!" everyone except me shouted, tic-pulsing. I just laughed like a maniac.

"See? The kid gets it."

"YEAH, WELL, HE'S A MORON!"

"Oi," I complained, drawing my hand across my chin.

"Who are you people?" Crocus growled. "You come into my one-man resort and shout rude things at me. Do you think you're inside a rat's stomach?"

Usopp gulped. "So we really were swallowed by that whale? But then why is its stomach lit up and why is there a sky?"

"What's gonna happen to us!?" shrieked Nami. "I don't wanna be digested!"

The old man glared, and like before, everyone except me tensed up. There was an awkward silence until it was broken by the other Straw Hats, who yelled, "CAN YOU JUST STOP IT WITH THAT GAG ALREADY!?"

"Fine. There's a door over there." He pointed behind our ship to a wooden door with a steel outline that I hadn't noticed before.

"WE CAN LEAVE!?" everyone shouted.

Nami stared at the door in shock. "Wait a minute. What's an exit doing inside a whale's stomach? And why is that door built into the sky?"

"Oi, look carefully," Usopp told us. "The sky, the clouds, even the bird... it's all a painting! It's all painted on the inside of the whale's stomach?"

"EH?"

"I like having fun," the ex-Roger Pirate explained.

The sniper's eyes popped out of his head and he yelled in exasperation, "JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

"It's okay, just leave him alone," Zoro advised - - ironic as he'd been the one screaming at the old man just a minute ago.

"Now what?" asked Sanji. "Nami-san, there's the exit right over there. Let's just get outta here."

"Nani?" I moaned. "But I haven't gotten my autograph yet!"

Suddenly the ship started shaking wildly and the stomach acid bulged up in tremendous waves. It was all we could do to keep our balance on the Merry. I tried not to bite my tongue while belli spilled out of my money bag up above, and Nami glared at me.

"Where's all this money coming from?" she growled. "Damon! You haven't been holding out on me, have you?"

I tic-pulsed. "I won those belli in a martial arts contest at Loguetown! I worked my ass off for it, too, and since you did nothing, you don't get a single coin of it! It's all mine!"

Her face twitched. "Is that so?"

"YES, IT IS!"

"What's happening now?" Zoro grumbled, looking around.

"Nani? What's up with that island?" Usopp asked, leaning over the railing and pointing to Crocus's 'one-man resort'. "It's got an iron bottom!"

Luckily, that drew Nami's attention away from my secret stash. "That's not an island," she realized. "It's a ship!"

"That must be to protect it from the stomach acid ocean."

Sanji frowned. "If this ocean really is stomach acid, then if we stay here too long, our ship will get digested and so will we."

"It's started," muttered Crocus.

Usopp cupped his mouth. "Oi! Started what?"

I slid into view at the front of the Merry, waving. "I know this! The whale, Laboon, is hitting its head against the Grand Line in an attempt to get his nakama back! See, he followed a kaizokou crew here to the Twin Capes but they left him because it was too dangerous for him. They promised him to come back some day, but died in the Florian Triangle. All but one of them, who is still lost in the Triangle, though he is trying to find a way out so he can see his last friend once more."

"Nani!?" Usopp gasped. "How terrible!"

Nami frowned. "Come to think of it, there are huge scars on its head. Poor thing. It must be hurting because of Crocus, and the fact that its been waiting for its friends must be just as painful."

I glared at her. "Crocus is trying to help it, not hurt it!"

She raised her eyebrow. "Eh? Then why did he build a door into its stomach? And did you say his name is Crocus?"

"One, to help it, because with a whale this size, it would be nearly impossible to treat it from the outside; so he's doing it from the inside. Two, to help anybody who accidentally got swallowed by Laboon (like us) escape."

"That's right," Crocus said. "But they didn't die in the Florian Triangle. They fled the Grand Line and never returned."

"Who's the psychic here?" I reminded him. "Plus, what proof do you have that they didn't die?"

Nami frowned. "If they fled the Grand Line, then they might not have made it through the Calm Belt anyway. Do you know whether they did or not?"

But he didn't answer her because he'd jumped into the stomach acid-ocean.

Usopp's jaw dropped. "Does he want to be digested!?"

"Hey, minna!" our navigator said, frowning at the whale in concern. "This poor creature is already in pain from losing its nakama. That Crocus dude might be doing something even worse to it! I think he's killing it from the inside!"

I hit her over the head, making her glare like a demoness at me. "Don't be stupid!" I shot back, though I shied away from her angry gaze. "He's not trying to harm Laboon. Crocus is just trying to calm him down and heal him, like I said earlier! No ex-member of Gold Roger's crew would do something as terrible as kill such a loyal beast! Not even Buggy! He may be an idiot and a clown, but he wouldn't do something like this!"

"He almost killed Lucy." Usopp deadpanned.

"True. But only because she pissed him off... Why the hell am I sticking up for a clown?"

Zoro shrugged. "Ya got me. Anyway, now that we've solved the mystery of the whale, let's get out of here. We don't want our ship to be digested. This whale's business doesn't bother us."

"Maybe not right now," I put in, "but it definitely will when we meet the last member of the kaizokou Laboon followed."

"We'll meet him?" Usopp asked, raising an eyebrow. "Weird."

"Say, what's that old man doing, anyway?" Sanji asked. "He jumped into the stomach acid and swam to that door over there. Now he's climbing up a ladder."

The ocean got even rougher and the local long-nose cursed. "Shit! The waves are too huge! Unless you do something, Damon, we'll never be able to make it out of here!"

I shrugged. "No need for me to do anything. Crocus is going to give Laboon sedatives right now."

"Laboon is the name of the whale, then?" Sanji inferred.

"Hai!"

"Let's get out now," Nami told us. "We have to find out what happened to Lucy and see if she's alright."

"I saw her get thrown up to the side of the whale's mouth," said Zoro. "Now let's figure out how to open the door, okay?"

"He'll do that for us," I said.

"Who?"

"Crocus."

"But isn't he getting digested right now?"

"Nope, he'll be fine."

As if on cue, Usopp, who'd been peering around the whale's stomach, suddenly gasped and pointed at a ladder along the side of the door, leading from the acid ocean to an iron platform. "Look," he reported. "That Crocus dude is coming up!"

The retired pirate climbed the ladder, but when he was about three-quarters of the way up, there was a high-pitched, very girly scream, followed by two others: A deeper but still girly scream, and a high man's voice. Three people burst out of the passageway that opened to the platform. One of them was Lucy, who had a hand on her straw hat and was looking like she wasn't sure whether to be terrified or be having fun. There was another girl with blue hair and a heart-shaped face, as well as brightly colored clothes, but I couldn't see much more of her from this far away. Accompanying them was a loudly dressed man wearing a crown.

"Damon!" Lucy called, falling through the air. "Minna! You're alright!"

I waved. "Oi, Luce! Yeah, I'm fine! Nearly got digested in stomach acid, but fine!"

"That's cool, but can you save me? I'm gonna drown in a few seconds." She had a look on her face like she fell into enormous vats of stomach acid all the time.

Usopp adjusted the new sniper goggles that he'd got in Loguetown. "Oi," he said. "Lucy has caught up with us, and she's brought a couple of weirdos with her."

"Ne, the jiisan's gone!" Nami told us.

Zoro snorted. "Who cares? The most important thing now is that we save Lucy and those two." I shrugged at the swordsman, we stripped off our tops, and we dived into the stomach acid together. This time, though, I pulled a thin layer of water from the acid and wrapped it around my body to protect myself.

Marimo got the two weirdos and I got Lucy, whose stomach was so huge from swallowing... stomach acid that she resembled a hot air balloon. When we came up, the sea was calmer again, more like a normal ocean. Nami seemed surprised by this. We climbed onto the Merry and Lucy, after I'd drawn the stomach acid out of her belly, sat herself on the figurehead. The two weirdos, who I knew to be Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday, more commonly known as Vivi, had collapsed underneath her.

"Mr. 9," Vivi hissed quietly, scooting away from Sanji, who was squatting beside her and staring at her with hearts floating around his head. He looked like a love sick puppy... or mutt. "These guys are kaizokou."

"I can see that, Miss Wednesday," said Mr. 9, who I could now see had his number tattooed onto his cheeks. "But I think we can convince them... probably..."

"Are you two scoundrels still here!?" Crocus yelled from the tunnel in the platform. Everyone blinked and looked at him. "Don't make me repeat myself! You won't lay a single finger on Laboon!"

Usopp stared at him blankly. "Oh. He's back."

"Who's the ossan?" wondered Lucy.

I jumped in. "He was the doctor of Gol D. Roger!"

"Hontou!? Wow, sugoi!"

Vivi, who actually looked _pretty _in blue hair (who knew such a strange hair color would actually look good in real life?), chuckled and stood up, one hand clutching her bazooka. At least, I thought it was a bazooka. I wasn't too sharp in the weapons department. "No matter what you say, we won't leave." she began.

Mr. 9 stood up, too, also holding a bazooka. He finished for her. "Killing this whale is our mission. We won't let you interfere with our whaling anymore! We'll rip a hole in its stomach!" They pointed their bazookas at the stomach-turned-sky.

I frowned. Vivi was acting like a bitch, and it didn't suit her.

"Let 'er rip, baby!"

_BAM!_

The two bazookas were fired, releasing two cannonballs that sailed toward the wall of Laboon's stomach. Crocus cursed them and took a running leap off of the platform, soaring through the air and _intercepting the cannonballs_! I winced and my eye twitched. That _had _to hurt. Then again, maybe being part of Gold Roger's crew would make him strong enough that getting hit by a few cannonballs simply didn't do much.

"He... just... intercepted the cannonballs!" Usopp shrieked.

My mouth was an _o_ of shock.

Vivi - - er, Miss Wednesday - - cackled. "Cease your pathetic resistance! If you want to protect it that badly, just try that again!"

"This whale is going to feed our town!" Mr. 9 added.

Nami had never looked more confused in the entire time I'd been living with her. "What's going on...?" she complained.

"Oi, don't hurt Laboon!" I admonished them, pouting. "He's waiting for his nakama!"

The blue haired princess hesitated a little, but before she could make another move, Lucy punched her and her partner's faces together. They fell to the ground in a bundle. The female captain of the Straw Hats was frowning angrily, her eye twitching as badly as mine. I wondered if everyone on this crew had caught Tourette's Syndrome from me or something. Was it contagious?

Usopp sweatdropped. "Er - - Lucy?"

She glared unsympathetically. "Dunno why. Just had to hit 'em."

My eye twitched. "So who's gonna save Crocus from getting digested?"

Lucy stretched her hand out and pulled the old man out of the water, much to the shock of Vivi and Mr. 9. They stared at her with such a surprised expression that I wondered if they were frozen like that eternally. Probably, I decided.

"You helped me immensely," said the doctor. We were all gathered on his miniature island... boat... ah, screw it. One-man resort. "Why?"

The rubber girl shrugged. "I dunno. Didn't really mean to. Just didn't want to see that." She was trying to climb the resort's single tree, and Usopp was trying to get her to come down by pulling at her... though thankfully steering clear of her butt. That would have been a bit awkward.

"What the hell's going on here?" Nami asked.

The old man glared at Vivi and Mr. 9, who were still unconscious/frozen in shock. "These two scoundrels are from a nearby town," he explained. "They're trying to capture Laboon, this Island Whale, so they can feed him to their villagers. His meat could feed their town for at least two or three years. I'm stopping them. I'm sure your psychic over there has told you the rest, but Island Whales are a breed that normally inhabit the West Blue and are some of the biggest of their species in the world. How could I let him become food?"

"So Laboon's nakama died in the Grand Line, then?" Sanji asked. "Why are you taking care of him? And haven't you told him this already?"

"Very well." Crocus sighed. "You see, this whale has the heart of a person, and as I'm sure your friend told you, he is attempting to break through the Red Line because he believes it is the only thing stopping his friends from coming to see him once more."

"That's dumb," I huffed. "If they were alive, they'd just go through Reverse Mountain again."

"Perhaps. But I'm nearly one hundred percent positive that they are, and they haven't done so. For fifty years he's been waiting... fifty long, hard years."

I stared. Fifty years? I'd head this before, in the anime, but hearing it in real life was totally different. I couldn't even imagine waiting fifty years to see someone again. I'd probably die of boredom, if the Marines didn't already kill me by then because I'm a pirate 'n' all.

"That's one loyal whale..." I murmured, staring in awe at the walls of Laboon's stomach. I frowned. I was gonna make sure Brook came back to see Laboon. And I was also gonna make sure Laboon knew that Brook was still alive... well, I guess he _is_ dead, just reincarnated or something.

It was the only way the scars in Laboon's heart could ever be fully healed.

* * *

**Oh yeah! Chapter 2 is finally here! For some reason, this chapter went a lot slower. I dunno why. I guess I just wasn't enjoying it quite as much as I was for the others. Still, I have pretty much record update speed, eh? I mean, who else consistently updates their stories every day? Huh? Huh? And has good grammar, good spelling, and shit? Eh? How many people? Maybe, like, 1 out of every 10,000 guys, that's who. ...I have too much time on my hands. Well, thank you to all the people who have already followed and favorited this story. You're awesome!  
**

Damon: Shit-author! You made me fall in STOMACH ACID. Do you know how disgusting that is?

Lucy: I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALIVE, DAMON~! I thought you drowned~!

Damon: *sweatdrops* I'm a demigod _of the sea_, Luce. I _can't_ drown.

Lucy: Oh yeah.

Usopp: I can't believe that old man is really a part of the Roger Pirates!

Nami: I just want to know what's going on here...

Damon: I ALREADY TOLD YOU, BAKA!

**So, follow and/or favorite if you like this story so far! Also leave a review saying what you liked, what you found funny, what you didn't like, what you think I should change in the future, and so on. By the way, the first part of a new Straw Hat Snippets is up! It's the first part of the explanation to the adventure Damon mentioned in chapter 20 of the first book. Go check it out! Please note that although popularity is appreciated, it is not necessary for me to keep writing this chapter. Also, this book will have even more comedy moments than the first! Plus, Damon'll get into some pretty serious shit in an original arc I have planned for before they land on Whiskey Peak.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	3. No 3: Disembarking for Whiskey Peak!

**Alright, folks! Here's the newest chapter of the series! By the way, I just bought Jason Mraz's album ****_We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things_**** and it's great! Well, anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**gamelover41592:** Arigatou! That's my job!

**DarkLord98: **That's a very good point. And at one point Damon will eventually realize that, but because it wouldn't really make it a fair fight, he won't use it on other people. Just himself if his body won't respond otherwise.

**guisniperman: **Nah, that's not it. Vivi and Mr. 9 don't know that he's a psychic yet. It's something different involving a totally original island and Damon's quest. But I won't reveal much more than that yet, so don't try to get anything else from me. :U

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Yup, he will. It's his goal to get an autograph of all famous and good Marines, pirates, and bounty hunters. XD Huh, that's interesting. I'm a freshman too. Just in a school that's kind of in the countryside. Then again, when it's Ohio you're talking about, there's pretty much nothing BUT countryside here. And yay! I even have people who don't read fanfiction hooked on this! lol! Nah, Damon's gonna make Nami happier so she won't steal his money. Vivi's attitude in these chapters may be all a facade, but it sure is annoying, huh?

**Chapter 3 start!**

* * *

Disembarking for Whiskey Peak

Log Poses, Promises, and More Treasure

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I stared. Fifty years? I'd head this before, in the anime, but hearing it in real life was totally different. I couldn't even imagine waiting fifty years to see someone again. I'd probably die of boredom, if the Marines didn't already kill me by then because I'm a pirate 'n' all._

_"That's one loyal whale..." I murmured, staring in awe at the walls of Laboon's stomach. I frowned. I was gonna make sure Brook came back to see Laboon. And I was also gonna make sure Laboon knew that Brook was still alive... well, I guess he is dead, just reincarnated or something._

_It was the only way the scars in Laboon's heart could ever be fully healed._

"Ne, Crocus," I spoke up. "I already know Laboon's past, so if you don't mind, do you know if any ships have been sunk here in Laboon's stomach acid?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why, yes, there have been. Why?"

I shrugged. "Just gonna find some extra treasure so that Nami doesn't murder me."

"Oh, I see."

I pulled some water out of the acid, wrapped it around my body in a thin, protective layer, and dived into the stomach-acid ocean. It was tinged green, like I've said before, and little bubbles floated everywhere. I swam down with some powerful strokes and noticed that the floor of this whale's stomach was littered with the skeletons of dead people. I shuddered at the sight. Seeing the broken skulls staring up at me like that was creepy.

At the bottom of the vat of acid, I found a ship that was still being eaten away. It was large, had holes all over it, and had a half-digested crow figurehead. I swam through one of the holes and began searching the rooms. I appeared to be in the boy's cabin, but I couldn't be sure. There was one chest, but it was empty. I supposed that at one time it must've contained clothes.

I pounded against the door, but it wasn't budging. I threw a mighty punch at it. The door splintered. With another punch and a kick, it was smashed to pieces. I swam through the hall I was now in and looked for the storage room or cargo hold. That was where any treasure was likely to be held.

About ten or fifteen minutes later, I resurfaced, dragging four large canvas bags with me. Two had been wrapped around my neck with some rope (kept dry because of my powers) and the other two were in my hands. Lucy was still trying to climb that palm tree - - only the gods knew why - - and the other Straw Hats were listening to Crocus's story, which was just finishing up.

"Oi, minna!" I called, dripping water on the edge of the island/ship/resort. "I'm back!"

Nami turned to me and her eyes changed to belli signs, making me sweatdrop. Her face lit up. "Whoa! You hit the jackpot!" she approved. "That has to be at least 200,000 belli there! Maybe even 300,000!"

I blinked. "That much? Okay, you can keep all the belli I won from the contest, but I get all this treasure."

"EHHH? We'll split it fifty-fifty."

"Nani? No way! You didn't even do anything! Eighty-twenty me."

"Seventy-thirty _me_."

"Sixty-forty ME."

Lucy erupted into giggles. "You two are funny!"

"URUSAI!" we shouted in unison, meaning 'shut up.' She pouted and went back to trying to climb the tree, muttering about meanies.

"Fine," I muttered. "I'll give you three of these bags, but I'll keep one of them, plus the bag of belli I already have."

The money-grubbing navigator shrugged. "Fair enough."

* * *

"This water pipe's incredible," said Usopp. "It's a bit surprising that he's still alive with such a huge tunnel inside of him." We had set sail again and were in a large, round passageway beyond the door in Laboon's stomach. As it turned out, this was the only way out of that whale. I just hoped that when we exited, he wasn't underwater.

"Is this your idea of _having fun_?" Sanji added.

"This is my 'doctor' fun," Crocus admitted. He was sitting on his one-man resort, which was floating down the water pipe to the front right of the Going Merry.

"Doctor?" Zoro repeated.

I snickered. "This ship really echoes. And you guys need to pay attention more. Didn't I already explain to you that Crocus is trying to heal Laboon and that he had to make all of this because it's nearly impossible to treat a creature his size from the outside?"

"Oh, hai."

"You're a bright young lad," said the ex-pirate.

I frowned. "No, I'm just a psychic." But secretly I was pleased.

"Damon's right," Crocus continued. He already knew our names because we'd introduced ourselves after saving Vivi and Mr. 9. "I am this whale's doctor. Once upon a time I ran a clinic on this cape, and before that I was a ship's doctor."

Usopp stared at him in awe. "So you really were a member of Gold Roger's crew?"

"That's right. Roger was one of the most respectable men who ever lived, despite the fact that he was a kaizokou. He truly deserved to be called the kaizokou king."

"Who would've thought that we'd meet the doctor on Roger's ship inside the belly of a whale?" Nami mused. "I thought that the Marines had executed all of his crewmates, though."

Crocus snorted. "That's what they _want_ you to think. In truth, we simply broke up and went our different ways after Roger was executed. I chose to run a clinic here on the Twin Capes. I heard that Silvers Rayleigh is somewhere near the other side of the Red Line. One of our cooks ran off with one of our snipers to the North Blue. I'm not sure about the rest."

"Hontou?" Lucy asked. "You were a doctor? Then you should be our ship's doctor! We still need one."

I shook my head in wonder. She was always two steps behind everyone else, that girl, and yet somehow she always knew just who to fight and who was a friend.

"Don't be stupid," the old man chuckled. "Unlike you six young'ins, I don't have the energy to go around doing foolhardy things anymore." His ship halted next to another iron ladder, which he quickly scaled.

I raised an eyebrow. "Says the guy who stopped two cannonballs with his body."

He reached the top and turned to me. "That was an accident."

"Sure. You accidentally ran to the edge of a fifty-foot high platform and jumped directly into the path of two cannonballs. Pure accident."

Crocus ignored me and hurried to the end of the catwalk he was now on. "Enough with this nonsense," he said, gripping a wheel. "Here we go!" He twisted it and the passageway in front of us slid apart, allowing me to realize it was actually two enormous retractable doors. Light crept through the widening crack, and I saw that the water in the pipe was just that - - actual water, not stomach acid. The Merry passed through the doors and emerged under the blue sky.

I grinned. "We're finally outta there!"

"WE'RE OUT!" Lucy cheered, standing on the broken figurehead triumphantly. "IT'S THE REAL SKY!"

"But 50 years?" Nami frowned, thinking about Laboon's story.

Usopp scowled. "Those dumb kaizokou sure are making him wait along time. If they're dead, that's one thing, but if they escaped..."

"Didn't Damon say they died in the Florian Triangle?" Sanji remembered. "That's very likely. This is the Grand Line we're talking about. There are all kinds of nasty ways to die here."

"And the Florian Triangle's one of the most mysterious parts of the Grand Line," I added. "It's a triangle-shaped stretch of sea between the City of Water, Water 7, and Fishman Island that all ships on that path must pass through if they wish to get to the end of the Grand Line. And every year, hundreds of ships disappear there. The Rumbar Pirates, the kaizokou who Laboon followed to the Twin Capes, sailed through that stretch of sea about fifty years ago and never came out. Only one of their crew is still alive, and he's sailing that dark triangle blindly, unable to come out into the sunlight. His name is Brook and he's a walking, talking skeleton now because of the Revive-Revive Fruit."

"A skeleton!?" Nami shrieked. Usopp made a strangled yelp of fear and hid behind Lucy, who blinked at him in confusion. "H-H-He's a ghost!?"

I shook my head. "Nah, he's alive. In fact, he's as afraid of ghosts as the next guy."

She stared at me through half-lidded eyes, though still quivering. "A ghost who's afraid of other ghosts."

"Well, the gods still believe in God. And no, Brook's alive. Not a ghost. The devil fruit he ate allowed him to come back to life, but by the time he found his body again, it was already a skeleton. He's gonna join our crew. He needs to in order to keep his promise with Laboon."

Crocus frowned, back on his resort. "So that's what happened to those fellows, eh? That's too bad. At least Brook is still alive. He was one of Laboon's favorites."

"A skeleton?" Lucy asked me, eyes sparkling. "He's a walking skeleton!? SUGOI!"

"WE ARE NOT LETTING A SKELETON BE ON OUR CREW!" Nami roared, a fiery aura erupting around, her face looking like a shark.

I glared at her, my eye twitching. "YES WE ARE!"

"NO WAY!"

"DEAL WITH IT!"

"YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHO JOINS!" she pointed out.

"Oi, break it up," Zoro cut in.

I thought about that one. Nami was right. I wasn't the captain. I couldn't say who was joining or who wasn't. But Lucy, on the other hand, was, and she already seemed captivated by the fact that Brook was a skeleton... plus he had another quality that would greatly appeal to her.

I turned to Lucy, much to the others' surprise. I grinned evilly at Nami, then told my captain, "Ne, did I mention that Brook is a musician?"

Cue sparkles. "HONTOU!? Yosha! Minna, we're getting Brook to join our crew!"

I smirked at Nami, who was crying anime tears and had a depressed aura around her. "Damon: 1, Nami: 0," I snickered.

"URUSAI!"

Crocus sighed. "Even if you do find Brook and get him to join your crew, unless you find a way back here, to the Twin Capes, the deep scars in Laboon's heart will still be there. And the Grand Line is a dangerous place. The seasons, the tides, the weather... they all go about in unpredictable patterns. Common sense and logic is worthless in this ocean. The terror of the Grand Line quickly overwhelms the weak of heart."

I grinned. "Good thing none of us have weak hearts, eh?"

Nami looked from Laboon to the old man. "But if you know all this, why haven't you told him? Wouldn't it be easier on him if he knew the truth? He seems to understand human speech remarkably well for a whale."

"The whale knows everything Crocus knows," I said. "When we were riding that current on Reverse Mountain, I was able to translate Laboon's moans as, _Give me back my friends_! He refuses to believe they aren't coming back, instead believing that the Rumbar Pirates are on the other side of the Red Line, and that it is the only thing keeping them from coming back."

"How sad," Usopp sniffed. "What a touching story!"

"His home is the West Blue," said the doctor, "and now he's too big to even go home. All he wanted was to continue to be nakama with those good-natured kaizokou."

I blinked. "Oi, where's Lucy?"

Suddenly an angry roar rose up from the middle of the ship, and I swiveled around to see none other than Lucy carrying almost all of the _mast_ and taking a running leap onto Laboon. I stared, my eye twitching. All my stuff was in the crow's nest, which was on the mast. This would include the belli I won in the Loguetown contest, my suitcase, my iPod, and my laptop. And now, because of Lucy's incredible stupidity, they were falling into the ocean.

"LUCY!" I roared. "YOU JUST DUMPED EVERYTHING I OWN INTO THE SEA!" I immediately willed them to be dry, just in time, too. They hit the sea with a splash and began sinking. "That baka," I sighed, summoning my stuff out of the ocean.

"He _does _realize that's our mast, right?" Usopp asked in a deadpan tone.

"Lucy-chan!" Sanji cooed. "Are you feeling all right~? Do you need me to make you a calming cup of English tea~? What are you doing~?"

"Looks like he's going mountain climbing," Zoro remarked as Lucy tore up the side of the humongous Island Whale.

Our idiot captain reached Laboon's head and gave another high-pitched roar. "Gum-Gum..." she shouted. "FLOWER ARRANGEMENT!" And she stabbed the mast into the whale's head.

"That's the mast, right?" Zoro was saying in calm anger.

Sanji nodded. "Yep. Our only mast."

"Right off of our ship," Usopp sighed. "QUIT BREAKING THE SHIP, BAKA!"

Laboon roared, tears building up in his eyes, and he splashed around in the sea, throwing a giant wave of water over our ship. All of us were crying anime tears and shouting, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?"

The enormous whale leaped up into the sky and Lucy clung onto the top of the mast for dear life, shouting in surprise. Laboon landed on the flat surface of Reverse Mountain just at the bottom of it, tearing a thick line in the rock with the mast and then stopping.

"OI, GIRL!" Crocus yelled in a panic. "STOP THAT! YOU'LL BE KILLED!"

I shook my head at Lucy's idiocy. "Nope, it'll take more than that to kill Lucy. She won't die even if she's crushed."

"She's more of a monster than monsters," Nami agreed.

I thought back to those Archetypes I'd fought on Conomi Island. Well... maybe she wasn't more of a monster than those things. They'd been pure _evil_.

Lucy and the whale sparred for a few minutes, Laboon slamming into her and throwing her back into the lighthouse on the cape, and Lucy landing a few rubbery punches on his head. Then, just as the lonely whale was rearing in for another attack, Lucy put up her hand in a stopping sign. "It's a draw," she announced, grinning.

Laboon froze and looked at her in confusion.

Lucy wiped her mouth. "Your old nakama used to spar with you, didn't they?" she asked. "I can always tell when someone's itching to fight. Well, tell ya what. My crew and I are gonna sail the world and find the One Piece. When we come back, we'll finish this fight. But I better warn ya, I'll be a lot stronger than I am now."

There was a pause where neither of them made a move. Then Laboon reared back and moaned at the sky. "'_It's a deal, Straw Hat girl!'_ ...He says," I translated, grinning.

Crocus stared at Lucy in awe.

* * *

After that, we all did different stuff for a while. Lucy drew a remarkably terrible copy of our Jolly Roger on Laboon's head, claiming that it was a reminder of their promise. I laughed so hard that I actually got a cramp when I saw it. It was almost completely unrecognizable. Sanji was making something in the kitchen that smelled good enough to die for. Nami counted all the belli I gave her greedily. Usopp started fixing the main mast, growling in anger and muttering about idiot captains. Zoro tried to sleep but was forced to work by our sniper. I started watching a few of the newest One Piece episodes, but Usopp roped me into fixing the mast, too, but not before Crocus gave me his autograph! (Much to my pleasure.)

So naturally I pounded my thumb with my hammer the moment I went to work.

"Say, what happened to those two guys?" Usopp mused as he hammered another few boards into place.

Nami looked up from her belli-counting in momentary confusion. "What two guys? ...Oh, you mean those weirdos? I don't know. I haven't seen them for a while now. I wonder who they were, anyway?"

"They probably attempted to go back to their home island," I said.

"Attempted?"

"Their ship got sunk."

Usopp snickered. "Serves 'em right for trying to hurt such a loyal creature." Then he went back to angry muttering. "That baka... she breaks it and I fix it!... I'm not the ship's carpenter!..."

An hour later, Nami had went back to lighthouse place to plan our course, and suddenly let out a piercing yell. I pounded my thumb _again_ as a result. I cursed the redhead to a painful death, then sighed and decided to see what was up. When everyone got to the table she was working at (Sanji somehow balanced a large stack of food on his hands, head, and even leg!), we saw her staring at her compass in a mixture of shock, confusion, and horror.

"You need to calm down, Nami," Lucy complained, pouting. "You're so loud."

Our cook swooned. "What is it, Nami-san? If it's food you want, never fear~!"

Usopp scrambled up the ladder next. "Did you say food?"

"You made me hammer myself, Nami," I muttered.

Her face was so worried I thought she was gonna cry. "The compass is broken!" she moaned miserably. We all peered at the compass, which was going crazy. The needle was spinning about and making me even dizzier than when I looked at Sanji's visible eyebrow. "It won't point in a single direction..."

"Ne, she's right," Sanji said.

"Round and round and round it goes..." Usopp remarked.

I grinned. "Where it stops, nobody knows!"

Lucy giggled. "Heh, fun!"

"So, does anyone have a Log Pose?" I asked.

There was a pause where everyone looked at me in confusion. "Nani?" they all asked in unison.

"At least the psychic kid there seems to know something about Grand Line navigation," Crocus huffed, crossing his hands over his chest and walking toward us. "You other five, however, have no idea what you're doing. What brazen stupidity. Did you come here to die?"

Nami tilted her head. "Eh?"

"Food?" Lucy gasped hungrily, staring down the blue-fin elephant tuna like a predator hunting its pray, which was a very accurate simile.

"Food," I agreed, licking my lips.

Sanji frowned. "It's FEED, for you, bastard."

I ignored him (mainly because I didn't understand the insult) and started chowing down. "Itadakimasu!" I cheered, meaning _let's eat_, also the Japanese version of saying grace. Grinning, Lucy and I dug in while Crocus explained things. When the tuna hit me taste buds, I couldn't believe it. It was even better than stuffed peppers with sea king meat! My eyes started watering with the amazing taste!

"This is delicious," Lucy said through a mouthful of tuna.

"Arigatou, LUCY-CHWAN!" cooed the love cook.

"Oi, Lucy, have you tried it with some of this sauce on it?" I asked. "Cuz that makes it even better, if that's possible."

"Oo, hontou?!"

"WOULD YOU THREE BE QUIET?" And cue the demoness. I shivered under Nami's gaze a little. She could be _scary_. "I CAN'T CONCENTRATE HERE!"

Finally, I'd had my fill. Crocus mentioned the Log Pose and Lucy asked if it looked strange.

"Why, yes, it does have a strange look," he admitted.

She held up strange-looking compass with two straps. It had a see-through casing tinged in blue, a half-red and half-white needle held up by a single piece of thin metal, and no dial face. I had never seen anything like it... in real life, of course.

"Yes, exactly like that. Without this Log Pose, sailing the Grand Line will be impossible."

Nami's face twitched and she smiled with false sweetness. "A, so desu ka. But, hold on a second. Lucy..." she said. Lucy paused in her meal to look up at the navigator, but was rewarded with a fist in her rubbery cheek. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ONE!?"

"Why the hell are you beating her up for it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lucy fell backwards and sat up, clutching the Log Pose in her hand. "I dunno! Those two weirdos dropped it on the boat. I picked it up. Why did you punch me~?"

"Felt like it." Nami said simply.

"Oh."

She examined it carefully. "So this a Log Pose... weird! It doesn't even have any markings!"

Crocus nodded. "You see, the islands dotting the Grand Line all obey the rules created by their strong magnetic fields. So in order to travel from island to island, the Log Pose must read and record the magnetic field at each island. Only then will it point you in the right direction." He shrugged. "The truth is that there's no way to determine your exact position on this ocean. You are utterly dependent on the magnetic field memorized by your Log Pose. You must first choose one of the seven magnetic paths emanating from Reverse Mountain. But regardless of which island you choose to start from, your route will eventually merge with all the others into one final route. And the name of the island at the end of that route is Raftel. The final island of the Grand Line. In all of history, the only person ever to confirm its existence was the kaizokou king and my former captain, Gol D. Roger. The island is legendary."

"And yet, you've been there..." I murmured, staring at him in awe.

"Raftel." said Nami.

Usopp grinned. "So the One Piece must be there! Is it, Crocus? Damon?"

"Don't tell me!" Lucy interjected stubbornly. "I want it to be an adventure!"

I smiled. That was Lucy for ya. She never wanted to take the easy path. She knew that the easy path didn't do anything; the hard path was the way you take to reap the real rewards. I turned to the sniper. "To be honest, not even I know that. The... vision I got didn't go that far."

Crocus shrugged, also grinning. "Who can tell? That is the most prominent theory, but no other soul has reached that island alive since."

Lucy bit down on a bone, making my eyes just about pop out of my head. "We'll find out when we get there!" she proclaimed. She sighed happily. "Alright, I'm full! Let's set sail!"

"That was a good meal," I burped.

"BASTARD!" Sanji freaked. "WHY DID YOU HOG ALL OF THE MEAL I MADE FOR LUCY-CHWAN AND NAMI-SWAN!?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Sh-She ate more than me!"

"Whoa." said Usopp in a small voice. "Even ate the bones."

The love cook's fist shook. "You... you asshole! I wanted Nami-san to... I wanted Nami-san to... I wanted HER TO BE THE ONE TO EAT IT!" He twisted around and threw a powerful kick, but I couldn't dodge it because I was too sleepy and full. I was thrown the air past Nami's outstretched hand, retching from the powerful blow. I crashed to the ground hard.

"You... You asshole blonde!" I growled, jumping to my feet and charging past Nami. I drew water from the air and wrapped it around my fist. "TEMPEST FIST!" I roared, about to punch Sanji, but a sudden killing aura from behind me made me freeze.

"Sanji-kun... Damon..." said Nami calmly. I gulped and slowly turned around. When Nami was calm, that was _not_ a good thing. Sanji just looked at her lovingly and swooned. Her fist shook. "YOU TWO CAN GO SOAK YOUR HEADS!"

-BAM! POW!-

Sanji and I were thrown into the air, twisting and screaming in agony, or at least on my part. Sanji still had hearts in his eyes. As I soared into the ocean, the last thing I heard was Lucy giggling her head off. Then I sunk through the sea, which pretty much immediately healed me. However, Nami's anger kept me under. I sure didn't want to go back up _there_ - - not with Demoness Nami on the loose.

Laboon, on the other hand, seemed to think differently, and washed Sanji and I onshore along with Vivi and Mr. 9, more commonly known among this crew as 'those two weirdos.' The local Blondie got up and started sweet-talking the desert princess, while the wanna-be king spoke up.

"Oi," said Mr. 9. "We have a request to make."

"Eh?" Sanji asked, narrowing his eyes while the rest of us looked at him in confusion - - except me, 'cuz I'm awesome.

* * *

The two weirdos, as Lucy called them, introduced themselves using their code names and bent down on... well, bended knee. They formally pleaded us to take them back to Whiskey Peak since they had no way to get there by themselves.

Lucy tilted her head. "Whiskey Peak? What a weird name."

"What is it?" asked Usopp in confusion.

Mr. 9 bowed low. "It's the town where we live! Erm... sir," he added as an afterthought.

Nami sidled up to the fake king, an evil-looking grin on her face that made me sweatdrop. "Wouldn't that be too kind of us, Mr. 9?" she asked in a falsely sweet tone. "Considering you tried to kill that poor whale."

Usopp, too, was unmoved. "That's right! Just who are you two anyway?"

"I am a king!" announced Mr. 9 seriously.

Nami pulled his cheek, making him squirm in pain. "Usopp." (For those of you who don't have a Google Translate function built in to your brain, that means 'liar,' and yes, considering Usopp is an usopp, that's quite ironic, isn't it? ...Come to think of it, whenever Usopp introduces himself, it makes it sound like he's saying that he's a liar, which he is.)

Our long-nosed sniper tilted his head. "Nani?"

"NOT YOU!"

Vivi grunted. "We cannot say!"

"But all we want is to return to our hometown!" Mr. 9 agreed, once again bowing low while rubbing his cheek. "We didn't really want to do this kind of underhanded work..."

"...But please understand that secrecy is our company's motto!"

"We truly cannot say anything!"

"We are begging you kind people to help us!"

"We will surely repay your kindness!"

"Don't listen to them," Crocus advised, giving a mighty _harrumph._ "No matter what they might say, they're a couple of underhanded sleazebags."

Nami waved her wrist, which had the twos' now-shattered Log Pose still strapped to it. "The thing is," she said, smiling, "we kinda broke this Log Pose and we don't have another." She looked at them pointedly. "You sure you still wanna come with us?"

Vivi and Mr. 9 became shark-like. "NANI? YOU BROKE IT!? THAT WAS OURS, YA KNOW! YOU MADE US THROW OURSELVES AT YOUR FEET WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN GO ANYWHERE!?"

Nami smirked, turned away, and put a finger to her chin. "Ah, but I remember now! Crocus-san is giving us another one!"

...And they once more threw themselves on the ground, begging us to be be kind enough to take them with us. I sighed and shook my head, smiling fondly at our navigator's antics. She stuck out her tongue childishly.

Lucy shrugged. "Sure. You can come. Your island's called Whiskey Peak, right? Let's go there."

Everyone stared at her. I grinned.

"O-Oi, are you serious?" Usopp protested. "We just met these guys when they were trying to kill an innocent whale, and you're gonna bring 'em along just like that?"

"It's fine," our captain said simply. "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Crocus frowned and said, "But the only place you can decide your path from is here at Reverse Mountain, the starting point."

She giggled. "If we don't like it, we'll just try again!"

The old man grinned. "Souka." Another word for 'I see.'

"Okay, gang, let's get going!" Lucy ordered, scrambling across the rocks, stretching her arm muscles. "I've made my promise to the whale, so it's time to get ready to leave!"

Vivi raised her eyebrow. "Who are you?"

"Me? Oh, I'm just the girl who's gonna become the kaizokou queen."

The 'two weirdos' blinked, looked at each other, and chuckled, making my eye twitch. But I ignored them for now and went back to the Merry, gathering all my stuff back up the fixed mast and in the crow's nest. Zoro had been sleeping on the ship this whole time. It was kind of impressive, actually, how much that Marimo could nap...

When the sun was setting and Sanji had cooked dinner for everyone except me, because I had 'hogged the blue-fin elephant tuna' (I went to bed hungry that night, but tasting that delicious fish was worth it), we finally set sail. I smiled and put my hands in pockets. Today had been one crazy day, what with that storm in the East Blue, riding the current up and down Reverse Mountain, being eaten by a whale, meeting a princess, and also meeting a man who'd visited the last island on the Grand Line, and I was tired. It was time for a rest. Something in the back of my mind told me I'd need it.

* * *

**And here you go, minna! Another chapter complete. Well, I hope you liked this update, and Happy New Year's to everybody! My resolution is to get 200+ followers on any single book in this fanfiction. My original arc is coming up, so stay tuned for more awesomeness and some crazy shit!**

Damon: I GOT THE AUTOGRAPH OF THE DOCTOR OF THE ROGER PIRATES!

Nami: And you've been holding out on me this whole time... PLUS YOU BROKE OUR LOG POSE!

Damon: *now sporting five more bruises* But be got anober...

Nami: SHUT IT!

Damon: Bis is your bault bit aubor...

Lucy: I'm gonna get a musician~! I'm gonna get a musician~! And he's a talking skeleton~!

**Well, follow/favorite this story if you like it so far! Trust me, although these first few chapters have been kind of dull, the next few are gonna be a whole lot more exciting! Leave a review on what you liked, what you found funny, what you didn't like, and all that jazz. I'll reply to most reviews. And to those of you who are already this story's fans, spread the word to other people! But please note that although popularity is much appreciated, it is definitely not needed for me to keep on writing new chapters. Oh, and before I forget, check out Straw Hat Snippets, my companion story to this series! The first part of the explanation to the adventure mentioned in chapter 20 of book 1 is finally up.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	4. No 4: Shipwrecked on Swap Island!

**Okay, here's the first chapter of my first totally original arc for this series! This won't be my only original arc. I also have one planned for in between the Skypiea and Water 7 Arcs or the Thriller Bark and Shaboady Archipelago Arcs. Not sure which one yet, but I still have a lot of time to decide. Hopefully. lmao jk. Status? Listening to Imagine Dragon's ****_Monster_****. Now, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Otaku-san32:** Alrighty den! Here ya go! The first part of my original arc!

**guisniperman: **One Piece has the most diverse characters in any anime ever, I swear. And I don't think there's a single one of 'em that I dislike. Well, for the good guys at least. I hate pretty much all of the bad guys, even if they do have some very valid reasons for being bad guys.

**13-BlackCat-2020: **Want the next chapter, eh? Well, then feast your eyes on THIS BABY! XD

**DarkLord98:** Possibly. That's highly likely, but I'm still not sure. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, eh?

**Chapter 4 start!**

* * *

Shipwrecked on Swap Island!

Enter, the Curious Village!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_The 'two weirdos' blinked, looked at each other, and chuckled, making my eye twitch. But I ignored them for now and went back to the Merry, gathering all my stuff back up the fixed mast and in the crow's nest. Zoro had been sleeping on the ship this whole time. It was kind of impressive, actually, how much that Marimo could nap..._

_When the sun was setting and Sanji had cooked dinner for everyone except me, because I had 'hogged the blue-fin elephant tuna' (I went to bed hungry that night, but tasting that delicious fish was worth it), we finally set sail. I smiled and put my hands in pockets. Today had been one crazy day, what with that storm in the East Blue, riding the current up and down Reverse Mountain, being eaten by a whale, meeting a princess, and also meeting a man who'd visited the last island on the Grand Line, and I was tired. It was time for a rest. Something in the back of my mind told me I'd need it._

I never wanted any of it to happen. Maybe this was weird, because talk to any other guy, and he'd probably be like, _That'd be awesome!_ Especially Sanji. Perhaps not Zoro, but he's a mystery.

What didn't I want to happen, you ask? Well, read on to find out.

It all began after we disembarked from the Twin Capes, relieving Laboon of his pain and relieving Crocus of his only Log Pose. That night and the next morning was fairly normal, if you don't count Mr. 9's constant and annoying usage of the word 'Baby.' By that afternoon, I was getting so sick and tired of hearing him say that, I was ready to punch him through a wall.

And of course, that was when the craziness started up.

Before that point, it had been completely clear skies. Nothing was out of the ordinary, the Sun was shining brightly on the sea, and the Merry was heading full speed towards Whiskey Peak so we could get rid of our unwelcome (in my case) load. Then, as if somebody had thrown a switch up in the sky, it started _snowing_. It went from, like, 79 degree weather to freezing cold and _snow_ in the space of about four seconds. How the hell does that even _work_!?

"Can somebody _please _tell me why it's snowing?" Nami grumbled. "It was hot and sunny just a few minutes ago!" Like me, she was bundled up in a bunch of winter gear, though still freezing her butt off. Also, we were both bunking out in the mess hall. We were staring out the porthole windows, looking in disbelief at the two morons on our ship. Mr. 9 and Vivi had hid in here as well, wrapped in blankets and sipping cups of warm cocoa.

"B-B-B-Beats me," I stuttered, shivering violently. "I j-j-j-just wanna know h-h-how those two b-b-bakas can still have so m-m-m-much energy in the f-f-f-freezing cold... with n-n-n-no sweaters on or a-a-anything!" The cold seemed to be affecting me worse than anyone else, or maybe I was just being a wimp.

Outside, on the snow-covered lower deck, Lucy and Usopp were building snowmen. Well, Lucy was building a snowman. I wasn't sure what Usopp was building. Was it a snow sculpture or a mermaid masterpiece? I wasn't sure which. But one thing was for sure: He had to be the world's best artist. I was actually quite amazed at the sniper's skill. Lucy's misshapen Frosty looked like a rotten banana peel by comparison.

She stuck a few wooden poles in the snowman for makeshift arms and a nose, then patted her creation proudly. They exchanged a few words which I couldn't hear from in here, then our captain hit the back of the snowman and a pole shot out of it... right through the top part of Usopp's masterpiece.

The lying sniper face-faulted, then sent Lucy a death glare and started destroying her snowman. This somehow turned into an all-out war with Lucy dropping a snowball the size of a boulder on Usopp and the sniper pelting her with hundreds of snowballs.

"I don't know," Nami said. "It's beyond me. But what's wrong with you, Damon? Your lips are turning blue."

I blinked and looked at my reflection in the window. "T-T-They are?" I frowned, but couldn't see anything because frost was building on the porthole.

Sanji was shoveling snow on the upper deck, tossing it into the sea, and he turned to us with hearts in his eyes. "HOW LONG SHALL I CONTINUE MY SNOW SHOVELING OF LOVE, NAMI-SAN?" he cooed loudly.

"UNTIL IT'S ALL GONE," she called back.

Mr. 9 spoke up. "Hey, you two. Doesn't this ship have any heating?"

"I'm cold," whined Vivi.

"U-U-U-URUSAI!" I barked at them, tic-pulsing. "I B-B-BET THAT N-NEITHER OF YOU C-COMBINED ARE AS C-C-C-COLD AS ME!"

Nami turned to them with her terrifying demoness glare. "YEAH, WHAT DAMON SAID! YOU'RE OUR GUESTS HERE! IF YOU WANNA WARM UP THEN GO HELP SANJI SHOVEL SNOW OR SOMETHING!"

_BOOM_. Something crashed outside, making me jump about a mile, and we both peered out the window in surprise. Lightning was flashing around us. Personally, I was a bit surprised our ship wasn't picking up the electric shock carried through the ocean.

"Lightning?!" Nami complained. "First snow, now lightning! What the hell is wrong with this stupid sea?"

A strong wind started blowing, knocking off some of the snow that had built up on the lookout post. (Usopp had covered it with a protective canvas sheet so that my stuff wouldn't get ruined.)

"I've never seen anything like this. One minute it's a cloudless sky, the next it's a blizzard! It's like the normal rules of nature don't apply here. Just like... Crocus-san warned us."

I rubbed my hands together and blew on them, trying to get any warmth possible. "W-W-Welcome to the Grand L-L-Line, sister," I told her, shivering miserably. "W-W-W-Where pretty much everything is c-c-crazier than an a-a-anime fangirl who j-just ate twenty packets of S-S-Skittles."

I don't think she really understood the comparison, but she shrugged it off.

"So what do you think?" Vivi asked smugly. "Ready to turn back yet?"

"You bakas have no idea how to survive the Grand Line, baby," Mr. 9 added, smirking.

I sweatdropped. "W-W-Weren't you two j-just complaining about h-how cold you w-w-were a few seconds ago?"

Vivi frowned at me, but ignored the comment and turned to Nami instead. "I noticed you haven't steered for a while. Is that really wise?"

"I know our heading. I just checked it a while ago" the redheaded navigator retorted. But she went outside and checked her new Log Pose anyway, then suddenly screamed. She was doing a lot of that lately, and it was really hurting my ears."No way! Make a hard turn one-hundred and eighty degrees!" she ordered, sounding panicked. I shivered violently and cursed her. She'd neglected to close the door, which only served to make me colder. "Hurry!"

"180 degrees? Why?" Usopp said, looking confused. He had frozen in position, about to throw another snowball at Lucy.

Lucy tilted her head. "Did you forget something?"

"No, you baka! We're off course! I thought the waves were calm, but the current turned us completely around! Damon, why didn't you tell me?"

I gulped and made myself as small as I could in the nearest corner. "G-Gomen! But whenever s-s-something unnatural is h-happening with the ocean, I g-g-get a cold, tingly f-f-feeling in the back of m-m-my neck, and I c-can't tell whether my neck is c-c-cold from the sea or t-t-the temperature now!"

"Dammit! Well, it's not your fault, I guess."

I sighed in relief. For the moment, I had been spared.

"Are you really a navigator?" said Vivi, making Nami glare at her. I stared at the desert princess in awe. There weren't many people in the air who could be unaffected by Demoness Nami. "On this ocean," she continued, "the sky, the wind, the clouds, the waves... you can't trust any of it. The only thing you _can_ trust is the Log Pose. It is your best friend. Get it now?"

Nami tic-pulsed and quite literally kicked the two out of the kitchen, shouting, "QUIT LECTURING ME, GET YOUR ASSES OUT THERE, AND HELP US!"

I sweatdropped. "You n-need to take a s-s-serious chill p-p-pill."

"Gomen. I don't do drugs."

Nami: 1, Damon: 1.

She went back outside and leaned over the railing, shouting orders. "Turn the braceyard! Catch the wind coming off of the starboard bow! Turn the ship 180 degrees to port! Usopp, take the aft sail! Sanji-kun, keep shoveling! Damon, since you're too cold to go outside, man the rudder, will you?"

"R-R-Roger that, Admiral N-Nami."

"I'M NOT A MARINE!"

"G-Gomen..."

"You there!" she said to Vivi and Mr. 9. "Keep it up, and don't slow down!" They were doing something off the side of the ship, but from my position, I couldn't hear what it was. All I _could_ here was Mr. 9 complaining about Nami being a bitch.

"W-W-Well which would you r-rather have h-h-happen?" I shouted to him. "H-H-Have the ship s-sink, or make it o-o-out of here alive?"

That shut him up pretty quickly.

"Oi, matte!" Usopp said. "The wind's changing!"

"Nani!?" Nami shrieked. "No way!"

The temperature seemed to rise a little. "This is the first sign of spring, baby!" Mr. 9 reported, much to our navigator's disbelief. But it appeared that he was right. The snow was melting and my body was slowly stopping its uncontrollable shivering.

She barked some more orders at us, then Usopp barked at Zoro, "Oi, Snowman! Quit sleeping and start helping, will ya?"

I pulled the helm in the direction Nami told me to. "You're not serious. That bastard is _still_ sleeping?!"

We dashed around the ship some more and shed our winter gear, now that it wasn't needed. Suddenly the wind started changing direction yet again, and when I peered out of the mess hall (the helm was located in here, as well as the table where we ate), I saw a humongous ice berg and suddenly remembered the Titanic story. Then a fog so thick you could cut it with a knife wrapped around us.

"What is WRONG with this ocean!?" Nami complained in horror.

"We're gonna ram into an ice berg if we don't do something quick!" I reported.

"WE'RE GONNA SIIIIINK!" Usopp shrilled.

"There's a pod of dolphins out there!" said Lucy excitedly. "Let's go get 'em!"

"URUSAI, YOU!"

I desperately yanked the creaking rudder to the side, at the same time throwing my thoughts to the ice berg and telling it to either move or melt. But it was like there was something blocking me from reaching the 'mind' of the giant ice block. When I tried to push it to my will, my brain suddenly felt cold. I shifted my thoughts down to the ocean, giving up on the ice berg, and told it to create a current that would carry us around the ice berg.

Nothing happened for a while, though, and Nami came over to the helm, helping me push with all our might. Finally, the ship changed direction. Just in time, to, because a second later and we'd have at least grazed against it.

"Oi, water's coming in below deck!" Lucy told us.

Er, scratch that. Spoke too soon.

Nami turned to me. "Damon, go down there and command the water to get out of there. Then stop more from coming in while Usopp patches up the hole."

"On it!" we said.

When the two of us had completed our job, we ran back above deck, where Sanji had brought out a plate of onigiri, better known as rice balls, and told us to eat up. We immediately sucked down as many as we could before Lucy got to them. Meanwhile, the weather had changed yet _again_, and was now storming violently. Luckily, though, I felt like the onigiri were giving me energy.

Sanji slapped me over the head as I stuffed my face with rice balls. "Bastard, you're taking too many!"

"Once again, Lucy's eating more than I am!" I pointed out. The 30,000,000 belli girl had stuffed her rubbery mouth with as many onigiri as she could, and the love cook was conveniently ignoring this fact.

We finished the rice balls and tried to pull the sails to port so that we could get back on course, but Nami screamed and there was a ripping sound from up above. When a looked up, I could see a nasty tear in the sail. My eye twitched. That was _not good_.

Suddenly my neck started tingling, but this time it wasn't from the cold, because there _was _no cold. I could feel the ocean start to get choppy, and I shouted, "Minna! The ocean's getting angry! I think there's a big wave coming or something!"

"What the hell!?" everyone moaned - - everyone except for Zoro, that is, who was _still sleeping_.

Usopp cried anime tears. "Damon, _please save us_."

I tugged at my rope harder in frustration. "I can't do anything this time! It's like the ocean is deliberately trying to wreck our ship! It's so angry that it won't bend to my will!"

That was when we saw the wave - - and let me just say that it was the biggest wave I've ever seen, including the ones from that smallish hurricane that hit New York City a couple of years ago. It had to be at least thirty feet tall, and it completely dwarfed the Going Merry. It rose up to the sky in three seconds, not even fifty feet away from us.

"It's blotting out the sun!" Lucy commented in awe.

"It's heading right toward us!" I gasped in horror.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" moaned Usopp.

Sanji hit me in the head. "Create a current to get us out of here already, bastard!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! THE SEA'S TOO ANGRY AND I'M NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH YET!"

"What about that hurricane you created in Loguetown?"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID THAT, AND ANYWAY, HOW WOULD THAT HELP US HERE!?"

Vivi poked her head up from the trap door that led down to the bowels of the Merry and said, "We've sprung another leak below - - _that wave's gonna crash into us!_"

"WE KNOW!" everyone shouted - - again, everyone except Zoro. I swore that I was gonna kill him if we ever made it out of this alive.

And then the wave crested and fell down all around us, and I don't remember anything else except blackness.

* * *

The first thing I noticed when I came to was that there was a pleasant smell of fruit in the air. What was it? Strawberries? Raspberries? I couldn't quite place it, but it was fragrant and calming, and I let out a deep breath. I opened my eyes a little to see sunlight glaring down in my eyes. I winced and put a hand up to shield my face. Then I sat up and looked around.

"Where am I...?" I croaked quietly, wincing again. My throat was dry and it hurt to talk. That must mean I'd been knocked out under the sun for quite a while. And my surroundings were unfamiliar. The Merry was nowhere in sight. I wasn't on it, and I couldn't see it. I was sitting on a soft, sandy beach, the salty waves lapping at my feet. I had an inkling of a suspicion that I'd be a lot worse off if I hadn't washed up so close to the sea.

"Must be on an island..." I murmured. That much was quite obvious. But I wondered what had happened to the others. Had they made it here? Had they ended up somewhere totally different? Or had they drowned? One thing was for sure; I definitely didn't remember this happening in the anime.

"Look, Lucy, it's Damon!" said a familiar voice from somewhere behind me. I grinned and turned. Sure enough, there was Usopp running toward me from the direction of a large forest. None other than our captain was following behind him, grinning widely.

"Oh, thank the gods!" I said in relief. "You two are alright! This wasn't in my vision, so I wasn't sure."

Lucy waved. "Oi, Damon! Everyone else is fine, too! We all ended up here and the others are in a village farther inland! Come on, it's really cool!"

"That's a relief. What about the Merry?" I croaked, getting to my feet and running to meet them.

"She got beat up when we landed, but a carpenter we met is repairing her," Usopp reported. "By the way, we're on this place called Swap Island. The folks are really nice and are mostly descendants of pirates, or retired pirates themselves, but it's kinda strange."

I blinked. We started walking into the forest. "How so?"

"Everyone seems afraid of something," Lucy explained. "Weirdos."

I raised my eyebrow. Everyone here was afraid of something? Usopp had said that everyone here was related to pirates in some way or pirates themselves, so it couldn't be that they were afraid of us. That must meant that something or someone on the island was scaring them.

Our straw hatted captain grinned. "I smell adventure!"

"Only you, Luce," I sighed. "Even when we're shipwrecked on island that we weren't supposed to be on, you still want to go on an adventure."

Usopp face-faulted. "Oh, right! By the way, the Log Pose won't reset itself for another week, so we have plenty of time to restock and fix our ship. Some of our supplies got lost when that wave hit and carried us here."

"Come on!" Lucy called, already far ahead of us and running down a path through the forest that I hadn't noticed before. "Niji Town's this way~!"

Niji? That was the Japanese word for 'rainbow.' Strange name for a town. Was everyone there gay or something? Maybe that was it. They were afraid that we would find out they were all gay and make fun of them for it.

As we walked down the path, I took in as much of the scenery as possible, though the scratchiness of my throat was a constant reminder that I needed a drink as soon as possible. The forest was made up of random and oversized deciduous trees. They were so big they made me feel like Alice in Wonderland, after she'd shrunk down. Birds chirped in the treetops and flew overhead. A blue-colored fox scampered across the dirt path, chasing a mouse the size of a small dog.

"Weird place," I commented.

Usopp shivered. "I know. There might be monsters here! I'm never coming out here again!"

"Wimp."

Finally, we emerged from the path and came across a small, neat, bustling town. Everyone was going about their everyday duties - - hanging up the laundry, watering the garden, bargaining for groceries - - but my crewmates were right. There was a strange air hanging over the place, as if everyone was scared of something. I wondered what it was. All in all, Niji Town reminded me of an English village from the Dark Ages, except with more money and no corpses lying everywhere.

An short, middle-aged man walked up to us as we strutted down the streets of town. He wore a blue coat over a yellow shirt and jeans. His face was a little feminine - - slightly pointed chin, blushed cheeks, even the soft eye color. It was weird and it made my eye twitch. Now that I thought about it, _all_ the men I'd seen here looked slightly feminine, whereas all the women looked somewhat masculine.

"Ah, Lucy-chan, Usopp-san," he said. Even his voice was higher and softer than usual. "I see you've found your friend. That's good. None of your crew has encountered the Lady yet. That's even better."

I raised my eyebrow farther. "The lady? What lady?"

"I shall explain to you all when everyone has gathered in my shop."

"Your shop?"

Usopp took pity on me. "He's the doctor and he's got a clinic here. His name's Doctor Konoha."

"Oh. Can I have some water?"

The man nodded. "I have a water fountain in my shop. You can use that. Now, come, and I shall explain to you why it is best you leave the moment you can, before the Lady finds out she has more - - ah, visitors."

* * *

**And there you have it! The first episode of my original arc complete! What's the thing Damon didn't want to happen to him? What's the reason why all the people on Swap Island are scared? And just who the hell is that Lady person? Most of these questions shall be answered next chapter, and the one that isn't should be pretty obvious by the end.**

Damon: That freaky weather was NOT FUN.

Usopp: I have a case of If-I-go-into-the-forest-one-more-time-I'll-die disease! It's a real dilemma, you know!

Lucy: I'm going on an adventure~! I'm going on an adventure~!

Usopp: Didn't you hear Doctor Konoha clearly say we should leave as SOON AS POSSIBLE?!

**Well, follow and/or favorite to be updated on my story! (Following _From the East_ will do nothing for you at this point...) Leave a review saying what you liked about this chapter, what you didn't, what you think I should change, any guesses you might have on this arc, et cetera! I'd like to here your response to my writing. Also, please note that although popularity is appreciated, it is _not necessary_. And before I go, check out my companion story to this series, Straw Hat Snippets, for more _One Piece: Full Blast_ awesomeness. See ya around!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	5. No 5: The Curse of Swap Island!

**Yes, sir, yes, sir! Here is the second episode of my totally original arc! In which we learn everything that's going on in Swap Island. Prepare for some crazy shit. Well, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**gamelover41592:** Read on to find out. It's something I'm fairly certain that no other OC-falls-into-One-Piece writer has ever done before. And it's crazy shit that's meant purely to screw with Damon. XD

**DarkLord98:** For your first guess... no, Chopper's the cute, furry mascot/animal that, as the 63rd Law of Anime states, must be in every anime. As for your second guess... well, that one's a lot closer, but still not quite it.

**OPFan37: **As a matter of fact, yes, I am planning to use my own original Devil Fruit. No problem! I like a good fanfiction any day and yours was good. And it's fine if you can't keep up with my updating. You can just catch up by yourself. :)

**13-BlackCat-2020: **And the mystery Lady is revealed!

**Kakusei: **You think you know, eh? Heh heh heh. Then prepare yourself, because it's gonna probably shock your socks off. XD It's totally original and crazy. And it might just make Damon loose his mind. lol One thing's for sure, the future chapters are gonna be filled with even more insanely comical moments as a result!

**Chapter 5 start!**

* * *

The Curse of Swap Island!

Damon and Lucy VS The Demigod, Lady Konton  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_Usopp took pity on me. "He's the doctor and he's got a clinic here. His name's Doctor Konoha."_

_"Oh. Can I have some water?"_

_The man nodded. "I have a water fountain in my shop. You can use that. Now, come, and I shall explain to you why it is best you leave the moment you can, before the Lady finds out she has more - - ah, visitors."_

As it turned out, Doctor Konoha had a slightly modern clinic. He had a sink, a refrigerator, a water fountain, and even a toilet. He also (strangely) had a stove in the clinic, which Sanji was using to cook some mouth-watering stew. After I'd gotten enough water that my throat was starting to feel normal again, my stomach growled, and I suddenly realized I was starving.

"There you are," Nami said. She was sitting around a table in the center of the room, along with Zoro, Mr. 9, and Vivi. "We were worried about you. The villagers all found the rest of us three days ago."

I stared. "Three _days_? I've been out for three days?"

"Yeah. Lucky we found you when we did." Usopp agreed. "You might've died from dehydration otherwise."

"Whoa." I shivered at the thought of how close I'd been to death's door. "Scary thought."

"The Merry is almost repaired," Sanji told me as he stirred his stew. "So as soon as that carpenter finishes up, we're getting outta here. These guys - -" he motioned to Mr. 9 and Vivi "- - still need to get to their home."

"That's a good idea," said Konoha. "You see, the woman who rules over this island, Swap Island, is called Lady Konton. She has an evil heart and is cruel to all."

"Lady Konton?" Lucy repeated.

I eyed her. "There is a serious echo here."

No one laughed this time.

The doctor nodded. "Yes. Lady Konton. She is a woman who lives in a castle-like mansion at the end of a path that leads west out of Niji Town. At the end of every other month, she comes down from her castle and reapplies her curse on us."

"Curse?" Nami mused. "What kind of curse?"

"Lady Konton came to Swap Island around fifty years ago. Back then, this used to be nothing but a pirate's cove, and it was even called Pirate Cove Island. Unimaginative, yes, but that's besides the point. She cursed all of the pirates who were docked here to change into the opposite genders. If the pirate was a man, he would then become a woman. If she was a woman, she would become a man."

Zoro raised his eyebrow. "How does this 'curse' work, exactly?"

"Well, it lasts for anywhere from two months to two years," Konoha explained. "And so for maximum time, Lady Konton curses us all again at the end of every other month. She is still as powerful as she was when she arrived here because of the Gender-Gender Fruit - - the Devil Fruit she ate that gave her these powers. You see, whenever she curses us, we change gender and lose the ability to die, so we can't even escape the curse that way. Also, she can somehow change our genders into a serum for everlasting youth."

"A Devil Fruit can do all that?" Nami gasped. "Amazing!"

"Cool..." murmured Lucy, absentmindedly picking at a scab on her arm.

"Oi, matte," I said. "You said _we_. So does that mean everyone in this village has had that curse on them? Everyone in this village was once... the opposite gender of what they are now, and can never die?"

"That is right," the man... er... woman?... agreed. "If Konton was to be defeated, then perhaps our curse could wear off and we would finally be allowed death... but she is too strong. No one has been able to defeat her for fifty years."

"Whoa," said Usopp simply.

Konoha looked to the ground darkly. "The end of the second month is tomorrow. Unless you all leave today, then you will all be cursed, too. Also, all who are cursed are unable to leave this island."

Vivi squealed and jumped back. "Well, I don't know about you bakas, but I'm not going to be here when she comes!"

Mr. 9 nodded quickly. "Let's get out of here!"

"Matte," said Lucy sternly. Everyone looked at her. Her expression was shadowed by her straw hat, making it unreadable. Then she looked up at the doctor seriously. "You said that the curse will end if she's defeated, right?"

"Well, yes, but you can't seriously think you can defeat her. It's impossible, I tell you - -"

"We're kaizokou!" Lucy cut him off, grinning. "We'll defeat her for you! I'll have to defeat some strong people if I wanna be the kaizokou queen, anyway! Might as well start out with this Konton weirdo."

Silence.

"Oi, matte, Luce!" I protested. "If we try to fight her, we might be cursed to change into the opposite gender, too! Plus we'll be unable to leave even if we _do_ defeat her!"

She hit her palm with her fist. "Oh, I get it. She's a mystery lady!"

My eye twitched at her naivety.

"Well, that's not quite true." Konoha spoke up. I blinked and raised my eyebrow at him. "Um, well, whenever she comes down from her castle, she always brags about how no one can beat her, and that if someone _did_ manage to beat her, then she'd lift just the part of her curse that keeps them on this island - - if they got hit by the curse, that is."

"It's settled then. Let's go."

"NO WAY, YOU BAKA!" we all screamed at her, except Sanji, who was busy imagining all of the things he could do to himself if he was a girl.

She pouted and turned on the puppy dog eyes. My eye twitched. She was seriously cute like this. It was taking all of my willpower just to look away. "Come on~!" she complained. "I'm the captain! You guys should do what I say. Meanies."

_Now she's pulling that trump card?!_

"...She's right," Zoro grumbled, though he clearly didn't look happy about it. "Yosh. Let's do it this way. We'll draw straws to see who gets to stay. The one with the shortest straw goes. Sanji can't do it because he has to cook us lunch."

"EH!?" Sanji roared, tic-pulsing and erupting into blue flames. "WHAT WAS THAT, YOU MARIMO?"

"URUSAI, ERO-COOK!"

"BROKEN COMPASS!"

"DARTBOARD!"

My fist clenched and unclenched. Nami and I both tic-pulsed, then shouted in unison, "BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOUR TRAPS!"

They froze under the navigator's glare and went back to what they'd been doing before. Sanji stirred the stew he was making while Zoro pulled out four straws (one for him, me, Nami, and Usopp; Lucy didn't need one since she already wanted to go) from his back pocket. I vaguely wondered why he had those at all, but decided it wasn't important. Nami, Usopp and I each selected a straw, leaving Zoro with the remaining one. When we unfurled our hands, everyone had long straws... except for me. Nami sighed in relief.

The swordsman clapped me on the back, smirking. "See ya, Damon."

Sanji glared at me. "If you let anything happen to my beloved Lucy-chan, I'm gonna kick your ass into next week, got it!?"

"If you get cursed, I shall forever mourn your manhood," said Usopp solemnly.

"Urusai, bastards," I grumbled, my eye twitching.

* * *

The path to Lady Konton's mansion was dark and a little spooky - - or maybe that was just my nerves. But the birds didn't seem to be quite so energetic, and I thought I saw eyeballs peering out of the shadows in the trees. I shivered and my eye twitched. Lucy, on the other hand, didn't seem effected by the creepiness at all. She simply skipped along happily, singing about how all the islands in every sea were idiots. Meanwhile, I noticed that the path was so twisty that we'd probably turned back on ourselves at least 15 times by now.

"Lucy-chan," I sighed, "this is supposed to be a tense atmosphere." (AN: I need a repairman. It appears as though the fourth wall has been broken.)

"So?" she said, turning to me and blinking. "Oi, Damon, do you know any funny songs?"

I thought for a moment. On one hand, if I taught her a new song, she'd stop singing about the islands in the North Blue - - on the other, she'd sing _that_ song non-stop. I shrugged and decided it was better than constantly hearing about the North Blue islands freezing. "Have you ever heard _Bohemian Rhapsody_?"

Evidently, she hadn't, but soon enough all you could here on the path was, "_Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunder bolt and lightning. Very, very frightening me. Galileo! Galileo. Galileo! Galileo Figaro magnifico!_"

What could have been hours or minutes later (I was so bored I couldn't really tell), my feet were aching from walking so far... but we'd finally come upon the castle-like mansion that Dr. Konoha had mentioned.

It was like something out of the middle ages. Turrets and lookout posts loomed over us, and the door was some type of rotten, black wood. There was a splash from somewhere in front and below our feet; I looked and realized the place had a moat and drawbridge. Unlike Lady Venticus's mansion, which had appeared strange but felt warm, this place was brimming with evil. You could feel it like a cold bath all around you. Even Lucy grew unusually quiet.

"So that's the lady's house, eh?" she said quietly. The sky was growing quickly darker, with both night and storm clouds coming on us, and her eyes were shielded beneath her straw hat, so I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

I frowned. The door was blocked by dark iron gates. How we were supposed to get inside when the door was blocked was beyond me. Lucy didn't know how to do Gear Third yet, so she couldn't simply knock the gates down.

Suddenly, as if someone had thrown a switch in the sky, the clouds poured chilly rain all over us. I, of course, stayed dry due to my demigodishness, but it still felt cold. The wind picked up and tore around wildly, threatening to rip off my leather jacket. I zipped it up in defiance. My neck tingled and I suddenly felt like I was bursting with strength. Lucy put a hand on her hat to keep it from blowing away.

"It's a hurricane," I said.

Lucy blinked. "Then why didn't Nami tell us about it?"

I shrugged. "This is the Grand Line we're in. It probably came up so soon that she didn't have the time to run out here and warn us about it. But that's not the point. It's a _hurricane_. A _sea_ storm."

She pounded her fist. "So you're getting stronger?"

On instinct, I unsheathed my sword, wincing at the scratch of metal on metal. "Yeah. Stand back. I don't know what I'm about to do, but it's gonna be powerful."

She nodded and stepped away. My sword sparked with energy and I let out a kind of primal battle cry. I gripped Chiwohiku with both hands and pointed it straight at the gates. The rain droplets from the storm condensed into steam and went... right into my sword?

My mouth moved on my own. "Tempest Getsuga Tenshou!"

_FWOOM_. Much to the shock of myself and awed delight of Lucy, the water was released as I swung Chiwohiku, smashing through the iron gates and splashing against the doors. For a second, nothing happened, and we stood there in the small hurricane, getting chilled by the rain and buffeted by the wind. Then a sharp line sparked along the gates and they fell toward us, into the moat. The door, too, was cut in half.

My jaw dropped.

That attack was powerful enough to cut water. That had to be it. It made the water sharper, tougher, and more forceful than a sword, and was then able to cut through iron. But if I had that kind of power...

Then I collapsed to the ground, breathing heavy. I'd been so surprised by the strength of the attack that I hadn't realized just how much it had taken out of me.

"Sugoi, Damon," Lucy said excitedly. "How did you do that!? Are you okay?"

"Arigatou," I wheezed, "instinct, and after a minute, yeah."

"Oh, okay."

When I had finally caught my breath and stood up again, we entered the castle and looked around tensely. Unlike the time I'd gone to visit Lady Venticus, the scenery didn't change the moment I stepped through the threshold. It remained a large, dark room. The walls were made of stone and the damp stench of mildew hung in the air. I wrinkled my nose. Somebody needed to hire a maid and get this place cleaned up.

A light blinked on overhead, revealing a cloaked person standing at the foot of two staircases that followed the room's contours. Her cloak was gray and had a strange patched design, like it had been ripped apart on multiple occasions and then sewn together poorly. The shades of grey varied, too, which led me to believe my guess hadn't been far off the mark. Heck, even my step-sister could sew better than her...

I frowned. A flair shot through me when I thought about my step-sister, a flair of pain and betrayal.

But now was not the time to dwell on that.

"Who do you think you are, young ones, barging into my home and smashing the door down?" said the person. The voice was clearly female, though it was strange. I couldn't tell whether it was an old person or a young person; maybe someone in between.

Lucy cracked her knuckles and stretched. "I'm Monkey D. Lucy, and I'm gonna be the kaizokou queen."

I decided to warm up, too. "I'm Digger D. Damon, and I'm gonna be the strongest martial artist in the world."

The woman seemingly shrugged, but under that cloak, I couldn't tell. Speaking of cloaks, what is it with people I encounter and cloaks? It seems like everyone wears them in this world. Were they some new fashion statement or something? Well, anyway, she said, "Starting off with introductions, then? You can call Lady Konton, and I am a demigod daughter of the god of war, Yoritso. I also have the power of the Gender-Gender Fruit, and unless either of you can defeat me, I am going to steal one of your genders."

"So you're Lady Konton, eh?" Lucy growled angrily. "I'm gonna kick your ass so the villagers can be free!"

Konton scoffed. "You? Kick my ass? I think not."

"Did you hear her, Lucy?" I asked quietly. "She's a demigod, like me. We've gotta be careful."

"Let's get this thing started!" roared Lucy, ignoring me as usual. I sighed in defeat.

Outside, there was a flash of lightning and a roll of thunder so loud that it made my ears ring. When my head had finally cleared, our enemy was gone - - vanished.

"Whoa, she's fast!" Lucy gasped.

I thought I felt something behind me and turned quickly, unsheathing Chiwohiku again. As my blade swept through the air, it stopped forcefully against a long stick with a curved blade at the end: A black scythe.

Konton sneered. She had taken off her cloak, revealing her true self. She looked no younger than Lucy or myself, but there was an air around her that suggested an older, powerful force. I remembered Dr. Konoha's words: _She can steal genders and somehow convert them into a serum for eternal youth_.

My blue sword and her black scythe shook in their locked positions. Then she pulled away and promptly vanished. In daylight, it would've been hard to find her anyway; as dimly lit as the room was, it was nearly impossible. But this didn't deter Lucy.

"Damon, duck!" she shouted, narrowing her eyes and clenching her fists. I didn't need to be told twice. The moment I had hit the floor, my rubbery captain's fists had shot out wildly around the room, fast enough to make it look as though she had multiple arms. They bounced off the walls and smashed expensive-looking vases. "GUM-GUM FIREWORKS!"

"Dork!" I cursed, feeling the force of her arms nearly hit me and brush against my brown hair. "That stupid attack is gonna hit me, too!"

Lucy retracted her arms with a firm _snap_. "Gomen. Damn, she's fast. Not one of those punches hit her."

"Nani?" I gasped as I stood up.

"I should think not," said Konton's mysterious voice. I froze and turned quickly, swiping with my sword to block another attack. Our weapons clanged against each other. Konton twisted her grip and slammed a side strike at me. I only barely leapt backwards in time to dodge. As it was, her longer scythe ripped a thin line in my leather jacket.

My eye twitched profusely and I glared at the enemy demigod, blocking some more as she forced me back. "Bitch," I hissed. "_Never hurt my jacket_. It's my_ treasure_." I locked blades with the daughter of Yoritso again and drew back for a punch, but - -

"GUM-GUM WHIP!" Lucy's voice rang out from behind me, making me duck on instinct.

_SLAM_. The satisfying sound of a leg connecting with someone's side brought a smirk to my face. So even though she was remarkably strong and fast, she wasn't invincible.

Footsteps echoed around the main hall of the castle, clashing with the howling wind and the booming thunder. I turned in a slow circle, wondering where Lady Konton would show up next. A minute passed and I didn't catch hide nor hair of her. Then, as I was connecting gazes with Lucy, who was circling like I was, her eyes widened and she threw a stretching punch at the air above me. "GUM-GUM PISTOL!"

I looked up quickly, expecting to hear the sound of bones crunching, but all I heard was a small _bumf_. I saw Konton descending from the air above me, hand stopping Lucy's fist and other hand swinging her scythe at me. I yelped and rolled to the side, managing not to impale myself by accident. The ground was hard and hurt my shoulder, but it was better than getting stabbed by that scythe... speaking of which, I decided to unzip it and shrug it off. The wind was lesser in here and wouldn't blow it away; plus, wearing it as I battled would only get it injured.

I wrapped my hands in water, discarding Chiwohiku beside my jacket and charging Lady Konton. "TEMPEST BOXING!" I shouted, smashing my fists in an endless barrage of splashing water. I pulled away, only to find my fists sore; Konton had blocked all of my attacks with the staff part of her weapon alone.

But Lucy followed up, appearing behind Konton and jumping up into the air, spinning around with her feet pressed together. She called out the name of her attack: "Gum-Gum Spear!" Her legs stabbed down at the war demigod. But before they could connect, the target disappeared... causing Lucy to hit me by accident.

"Gomen!" she said, wincing and landing smoothly.

My eyes widened in sudden pain and I was thrown to the floor, rolling behind me, the air knocked out my lungs. I finally stopped and tried to catch my breath, but before I could, Konton appeared above me, easily straddling me and holding me in place by pressing the staff part of her scythe into my chest. I froze in cold fear as her frown thinned and curved up into a sadistic smirk. Clutched in her mouth like Zoro's Wado Ichimonji was a butcher's knife. And the angle her neck was twisted in pointed the pointed weapon right at my heart.

I was breathing heavily, trying to calm myself but failing badly. My eye twitched, the only part of me that was moving. My mind was clouding over in fright, like it had at the town square in Loguetown.

Danger. I was in terrible danger. One swipe of her neck could end my life.

"D... Damon!" came Lucy's strangled cry. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her stretch both arms back in the Bazooka stance, but Lady Konton gave her a sharp look.

"One move and the boy dies," she said through the knife. How she and Zoro could talk like that was beyond me... heck, how they could _fight_ like that was beyond me. They must have some serious neck muscles, I decided.

My captain's arms froze mid-stretch.

"Good girl."

My eye twitched even more and my neck tingled. I could feel myself calming down and regaining some control over myself - - I had been driven into shock by the fact that she'd locked me against the floor - - and I was just about to kick her when I saw something that made my blood run cold: Lady Konton's neck flicking down and the knife plunging into my chest.

_No...! I'm gonna... die!_

* * *

**Cliffhangers suck, don't they? Well, sue me. XD I managed to break my one-chapter-a-day streak... but writing this took some time. Making up your own original arc is harder than it seems. Well, anyway, whaddya think is gonna happen next? Will Lucy attempt to save him? Will he get killed? Will he react in time to save himself? Or will something... _else_ happen? I wanna know what you think! Of course, I already have something planned myself... heh heh heh... I love screwing with my characters.  
**

Damon: Shit-author! I don't wanna die!

Usopp: I shall humbly pay my respects to your soul everyday.

Damon: Shut your trap, bastard!

Nami: Zoro, feel lucky I didn't pull out that straw. If I did, you would've been 400,000 belli deeper in debt.

Zoro: E-EH!? But it's just luck!

Lucy: I'm gonna become kaizokou queen!

Straw Hats: *sweat drop* Yes... we know...

**Well, follow and/or favorite if you like the story so far! Leave a review on what you think will happen, what you liked, what you didn't like, what you think I should change in the future, any question you may have about the series (as long as it doesn't have me give you any spoilers), et cetera. And please note that although popularity is appreciated, it is not necessary. P.S., please check out my companion drabble series, Straw Hat Snippets, for more _One Piece: Full Blast_ craziness. Also, I have a short one shot between a fem!Luffy and Nami that is completely unrelated to this series. I would like it if you could check that out, too. I have called this one Of Navigators and Captains**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	6. No 6: The Victim of Swap Island!

**And so here we have it! The newest chapter of ****_One Piece: Full Blast_****, in which we found out what exactly happens to Damon and how he deals with it... as well as how the ****_rest_**** of the crew deals with it. Well, here are my replies to reviews on the last chapter:**

**OPFan37:** I know, right? Ivankov is _sooo_ creepy. I kinda felt bad for Sanji when he was sent to the okama island. And what the hell is up with that dude's face, anyway? I'm pretty sure that's physically impossible for a head _that_ large to exist on a normal-sized body. Did he try one of his hormonal things on himself and it went wrong or something?

**DarkLord98: **The person who is most likely to loose their minds if that would happen. I don't think Lucy would honestly care that much, but Damon... heh heh heh!

**Kakusei: **...DAMMIT, YOU! Warn me about these things BEFORE I place my calls! XD

**Chapter 6 start!**

* * *

A New Body and a New Name!

The Victim of Swap Island!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_My captain's arms froze mid-stretch._

_"Good girl."_

_My eye twitched even more and my neck tingled. I could feel myself calming down and regaining some control over myself - - I had been driven into shock by the fact that she'd locked me against the floor - - and I was just about to kick her when I saw something that made my blood run cold: Lady Konton's neck flicking down and the knife plunging into my chest._

_No...! I'm gonna... die!_

Darkness was all I knew. I was suspended in eternal darkness, with only my body visible, much like my dreams with Aeso - - except this time, no one else was here but me. It was quiet and a Goldi Locks temperature, not too hot and not too cold. I wondered what had happened to me. Was I dead? I certainly didn't feel pain. But if God was real, like I'd always believed, then shouldn't I be in heaven right now, getting judged by an old guy in a white cape or something like that? And shouldn't I be in some bright place with a floor of clouds?

_Okay,_ I decided. _Maybe the church got it all wrong. Maybe you get put in Limbo until you God judges you. Maybe _that's_ when you get sent to Heaven, or Hell, or Purgatory or whatever_.

As I sat there, bored out my mind (I didn't have my iPod with me because I always keep it in the inside pocket of my leather jacket, and my I wasn't wearing said jacket), I noticed something strange about my body: I seemed a few inches shorter than usual. Also, unless it my imagination, my hands were smaller, my skin was smoother, my legs were more shapely, my butt felt a bit larger and more rounded, something that felt like hair was itching my back, and there were two large... _mounds_ on my chest that definitely didn't belong there.

"No way..." I gasped, flinching when I realized my voice was a lot higher than it should've been. "Don't tell me..." I touched the orbs hanging off my chest. They registered the touch and I felt my cheeks warm up. In my growing horror, I checked inside my pants.

That... special package was missing; or as Luffy would put it, my 'family jewels.'

I squeaked, "I-I-I'm a... g-girl!?"

A mirror popped into existence in front of me, momentarily distracting me from this remarkable misadventure. And I only say _momentarily_ because what it reflected was something I never thought I'd see in my life: Me, except not me exactly. Confused? Well, think of what I was feeling when I saw a girl that had pretty much the same facial structure as mine did, though slightly altered to look like a girl's; chocolate brown colored hair that reached to about the small of her back; a bust size to rival Nami's or even Lucy's; all the right curves in all the right places (and no, that's _not _a OneRepublic pun); and full lips. In other words...

"I'm... I'm... I'm cute..." I stammered, my eye twitching and my _high_ voice breaking. In the mirror, the girl's eye was twitching as rapidly as mine. The mirror disappeared. Damon D. Digger, badass Christian street delinquent from New York City turned demigod pirate, was _cute_.

Basically, my life was even more fucked up than it was before.

And that's if I still even _had_ a life. As hard as I tried, I couldn't remember anything after the sight of Lady Konton's knife plunging toward my chest. Thinking of which, no _way_ could all of this be real. Lucy and I would definitely have been able to kick her ass together by that time. No _way_ could I be a cute girl. I had to be dreaming. Yeah, that's it. Lucy skipped lunch to go fight. Lucy never skips lunch. That had to be some indication that I was dreaming, right? Plus, if I had an attack powerful enough to cut through iron, then how the hell was I beaten so easily? And given the fact that I was in a dark void... not to mention that the prophecy said absolutely _nothing_ about this.

"It's a dream, Damon," I tried to convince myself. "You're not a girl. It's all a figment of your overactive imagination. You're probably still knocked out from that storm's massive wave. Now, wake the hell up already!" I pinched myself. "Ow!"

I didn't wake up.

"Okay, okay..." I muttered, still desperately denying the inevitable truth. "Maybe Konton had some other power. Maybe she gave me an illusion or put me in a trance or something. I just gotta find a way to break out of it."

But the giant boobs bouncing around on my chest with every move was kind of distracting.

"**I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is how you really look now,**" said the familiar voice of my father from behind me. I gritted my teeth, but didn't turn.

"I was really... turned into a girl?" I grunted. My voice broke again.

"**Yeah. Er... sorry about that. I feel for ya. Losing your manhood is really pretty terrible luck. This never happened in any other universe, otherwise I would've warned you... sorry.**"

I felt myself tear up. "It's... It's... Damn it!" I threw my arms up in the air in annoyance. "How am I supposed to show myself to the other Straw Hats now? To _anyone_? Hell, I can't even face _you_ like this. How... How am I supposed to _fight_? How am I supposed to _walk_? I can tell my center of balance is off now. And... how am I supposed to _go to the bathroom!?_"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "**Look, you don't have to worry about any of that. The Straw Hats are good people. They won't look down on you just because of something small like changing genders. Plus, the villagers said it would fade off in a few months, right?**"

"Something _small_?" I choked. "And how would you know? You said this never happened before!"

"**...True.**" Aeso admitted "**But in other universes, when alternate versions of you were sent into the One Piece world and crazy shit happened, they still didn't question you. Lucy or Luffy, depending on which universe it was, still trusted you, and that was good enough for them. They could also see that no matter what happened, you were always the same Damon, or in other cases, Diamond, that they knew.**"

I raised my eyebrow and turned my head a little. "What other cases? Whaddya mean the same 'diamond?'"

He sighed impatiently. "**Okay, look, in other universes, you were a girl named Diamond. Got it? And when you got sent to the other One Piece universes, they knew you as Diamond, because that was who you were.**"

"Oh... so is my name gonna be Diamond now? Because I'm probably gonna need a new name... it'd be kinda weird if there was a girl running around named 'Damon...'"

"**Maybe. Doesn't really matter to me. Depends on what you want. Luckily, they don't have a bounty poster of you yet... think of all the trouble it could cause if the world found out one of the notorious Straw Hats was genderbended!**"

I shuddered. "That's true. This world is already crazy enough. But won't they find out anyway when the curse wears off?"

"**...Maybe you could say you're Diamond's brother, if anyone asks?**"

"Huh... that could work. But what about all the people I already met? They're gonna wonder what a girl who looks like me and has nearly the same name as me is doing on Lucy's crew. Speaking of which, what's going on right now? Am I dead or whatever? Did Lucy get hit, too?"

"**No and no.**" said Aeso, making me sigh in relief. If Lucy was turned into Luffy... who knows what would happen? It was already crazy enough that Luffy was Lucy in the first place. "**As for what's going on, Lucy put her fight with Konton on hold in order to get you to a doctor and make sure you're alright. Sanji might need some extra blood, and Zoro is scarred for life while, as promised, Usopp is mourning your manhood.**"

My eye twitched. "No way. You mean... now that stupid ero-cook is gonna hit on me!?"

"**Hey, think of it this way. You get to be first in line for the food, plus you get free snacks whenever you feel like it.**"

I clenched my fist and turned fully to him, giving him my best Nami-glare. "I'm gonna kill you."

He sweated bullets. "**Ah - - heh, heh, no need to do that...**" He rubbed the back of his head nervously. I thought I heard him mutter, _hell__ hath no fury like a woman scorned_ under has breath, but I managed to ignore that. "**Well, in any case, you were right earlier. You are going to have to relearn how to do things as a girl. Luckily, while we're communicating over your dreams through the Mindphone, I have the power to stop time for you. Well, okay, all we're doing is just slowing down time here so that it _seems_ like time's stopped outside, but the effect is the same either way. I can give you about a month and a half that you can use to train in your new girl's body and get used to doing things in it. I suggest you use this time wisely. Oh, and because you will need a good instructor, I have asked the goddess of youth, fertility, and beauty to teach you... girl things. Well, see ya!**"

He vanished with a _poof, _just as I was about to complain.

"Great, I muttered. "I'm gonna be taught how to be a girl by a goddess. I shouldn't even need _to_ be taught this."

There was an awkward silence for a couple of minutes, in which it was just me in my girl body doing nothing except glaring into space, and then a woman suddenly appeared and leaned in to get a good look at me, making me "KYA!" in shock and back up.

My eye twitched and I choose to ignore that very girly shout.

The woman was short. That much I could tell right off the bat. She was short, and she had crimson red pigtails, equally red irises, blushed cheeks, pink lips, a button nose, and a cute little dress with flowers on it that you might expect to find in a rendition of _The Sound of Music_. She stared at me excitedly, blinking with large owl-like eyes.

My eye twitched some more. I felt my cheeks grow a little warm, and I internally cursed whatever female hormones I'd been given along with my new body.

The woman abruptly stood back and clapped her hands together cheerfully. "**Okay, then!**" she said, her voice light and soft like feathers. I scowled at the girl. "**So you must be Aeso's son, huh? Or are you Aeso's _daughter_ now? Hm... Oh well! Doesn't really matter! My name is Lady Bappa and I'll be your instructor on how to be a girl!**" The goddess gave a very Lucy-like squeal that made my eye twitch in annoyance. I really should ask Chopper if there's a way to cure Tourette's Syndrome when he joins... "**Oo! We're gonna have so much fun this month! Ah, and if you were wondering, my twin brother should be here in about two or three days, knowing him...**" She pouted. "**That lazy bum is never on time! He spends too much time drinking. He'll be your trainer, if you were wondering.**"

"I wasn't," I deadpanned. Were all girls as dense as Lucy? I seriously hoped not. Or maybe Lucy was really a demigod and this was her mother. Come to think of it, Oda never did tell us who Luffy's mother was, did they? Huh.

"**Ah, very good then. Well, any questions?**"

"Yeah, I got one. Why are you peoples' names so crazy?"

Lady Bappa shrugged and grinned. "**Dunno, don't care.**"

I sweatdropped. Her expression was almost exactly like Lucy's.

And so, two or three 'days' later, my head was overflowing with what you have to do to be a girl... and Lady Bappa _still_ wasn't done talking. I had gotten breaks to eat and sleep and go to the bathroom and stuff (don't ask me why I still needed to do all that in a dream, 'cause I have no idea myself) but otherwise it was _lecture, lecture, lecture_. And when Bappa's twin brother came in, it was even crazier. Apparently, the god of war was a dude who looked like a Sherpa mountain climber and who even had that kind of accent. His name was something I can't even pronounce. Wanna know what he looks like? Just look at any picture of a Sherpa. Seriously. It was that bad.

But a month and a half passed, and I went from falling down the moment I stood up, to being able to walk a few paces, and finally being able to actually fight at all. And in that month and a half, Lady Bappa and her brother (okay, I'll try to spell his name. Was it Vesoghatsuo? Or maybe Jedhiabetshi? Oh, wait, the first one.) taught me how to be a girl and got my old power back, plus a little. So when it was time to wake up, I was strong enough that Vesoghatsuo claimed I would be able to defeat his daughter.

Was it a bit weird spending that much time with the father of the person who'd turned me into a girl? And was it a bit embarrassing when I took my first bath as a girl, and when I went to the bathroom for the first time as a girl?

Yes.

Very.

But that's besides the point.

* * *

My eyes flickered open and I winced as I took in the first daylight I'd seen in forever. I squinted so that it didn't hurt quite as much and tried to take in as much of my surroundings as I could. From the delicious smell of stew and the more ugly smell of cold medicine, I deduced that I was back in Doctor Konoha's office.

"Is h... she alright?" came a familiar girl's voice. For a second, I couldn't place it. Being away from your friends for a month and a half can do that to you. Then I realized it was Nami.

"Dunno." said Lucy's easily recognizable voice. "Think giving her stuffed peppers would help?"

There was the sound of someone being hit. "No, you baka! How the hell can you take this so calmly, anyway! Damon was turned into a girl here, and now he's even cuter than me! My cuteness has been stolen from me! Oh, he's gonna owe me so much when he wakes up..."

I sweatdropped. _That _was what Nami was worried about?

I could practically feel Lucy's confusion. "Eh? But Damon's not a 'he' now. She's a girl. So she's a she."

"AGAIN, HOW ARE YOU TAKING THIS SO EASILY!?" Usopp's voice screeched, making me wince. "ONE OF YOUR NAKAMA HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A GIRL! SHOULDN'T YOU BE BEATING SOMEONE'S ASS RIGHT NOW, OR AT LEAST MOURNING THE LOSS OF HIS MANHOOD!?"

I heard Zoro erupt into laughter. "Ha ha ha ha! Damon's a *snort* girl! Oh, this is great!"

"Urusai, Marimo!" I snapped, sitting up and rubbing the sunspots out of my eyes. "And it's Diamond until the curse wears off, got it? All of you call me Diamond." Over the month and a half of being called that, I'd gotten used to it and even a little offended when Aeso came to visit and accidentally called me by my original name. I blamed it on my female hormones.

Everyone face-faulted. "EH? HE - - SHE'S AWAKE!"

"Diamond-chan?" cooed Sanji, immediately swooning with hearts in his eyes. "Ah, what a lovely - -"

I tic-pulsed and squeezed my hand into a fist. Then I leaped off the bed and threw an angry haymaker at the stupid blonde. Seriously, were all blondes stereotyped after this guy or something?

"_Don't even think about it_," I growled, an icy aura emanating from me.

But of course, the love cook was hopeless. "Ah ~ Diamond-chan's so beautiful when she's cold~!"

'I'm a guy, damn it, and I ain't gay! No way in hell!"

Zoro took one look at me and exploded in peals of uncontrollable laughter. I threw a punch at him, too, and we traded a few insults. Unfortunately, Marimo had a new one for me: Drag queen. Of course, that pulled us into one of our usual fights while the others sweatdropped.

"He seems to be taking this well..." Usopp was deadpanning, unbeknownst to me.

Nami nodded. "And he's fighting without falling over."

Lucy giggled. "Diamond's cute!"

"URUSAI! HE'S A MAN! MEN AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE!" Usopp defended me.

The navigator blinked and suddenly smirked at her captain. "Eh? Did you just say that he's cute? Do you have a thing for Damon?"

The straw hatted idiot tilted her head. "But Diamond's not Damon. She's Diamond."

"SHE'S - - er, HE'S STILL DAMON, DORK! EVEN IF HE IS ACTING WEIRD!"

"Eh? So they're mystery twins?"

"NO, BAKA!"

"Ah ~ Diamond-chan is so beautiful when she's fighting that bastard Marimo~!"

"URUSAI, DAMMIT!"

Nami directed her gaze on Zoro and I, which was when I finally started paying attention to the others' conversation. She got an evil grin and said in false sweetness, "Say, Damon - - er, gomen, Diamond. You have a huge chest and you fight a lot, huh? Plus you don't have any girl clothes." She got a strange glint on my eye that made a shiver run down my spine. "We're gonna have to take you shopping!"

My eyes widened and I backed away in horror, tripping and falling backward onto the gurney I'd been sleeping on. "No - - Matte! - - Please don't!" But Nami was a woman on a mission, and she grabbed my arm with enough force to hurt Lucy, then dragged me away, kicking and screaming and crying anime tears, while Zoro laughed so hard his throat went sore.

Watching on the sidelines, Doctor Konoha wondered if he (actually she) should examine himself (actually herself) for signs of insanity. With this crew, it was only a matter of time.

* * *

**Well, I think this story just official became one of the craziest fanfictions in the One Piece fandom. Sue me. And if you're wondering why I didn't go into much detail on the month and a half in the dream, it's because I know nothing about being a girl myself. I'm a guy. I'm not supposed to and I just don't. If any of you don't like what I did, sue me. _I'm_ the author here. _I _have the authority. But I hope you liked this chapter!  
**

Diamond: Sh-Shit-author! Why the hell did you make me become a GIRL!?

Ah, calm down. You'll be back to normal soon. If your definition of 'soon' is two months.

Diamond: THAT'S NOT SOON, DAMMIT! AND CHANGE MY NAME BACK TO DAMON DOWN HERE!

No way.

Diamond: *sulks in a corner with a depressed aura* Bastard...

**Well, follow and/or favorite this story if you like it so far! The rematch between Lady Konton, Lucy, and Diamond will be in the next chapter! Don't forget to leave a review on what you might've liked about this chapter, what you didn't, what you think I should change in the future, any question you might have on the series (as long as it doesn't make me reveal any spoilers), what you found funny; stuff like that. Besides that, check out my companion fanfiction for this series, called Straw Hat Snippets! Updates for that are a lot slower than updates for One Piece: Full Blast but who gives a shit? Not me. Oh, and please note that although popularity is appreciated, it is NOT NEEDED.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	7. No 7: The Battle of Swap Island!

**And another chapter of the craziest story of the One Piece fandom has arrived. Let's see what shit Nami forces Damon - - sorry, ****_Diamond_**** - - into. Also, how much stronger is Diamond now? Read on to find out. lol Anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**gamelover41592:** I did it mainly for the comedy, that's true... XD Diamond's gonna have such a rough time now with the men... lol...

**13-BlackCat-2020: **Arigatou! I'm fairly certain that they would react that way if someone they knew became the opposite gender, so it's nice to know other people agree with me. And Lucy's reaction is just the best, isn't it? 'Cause I think she really would be confused. After all, she never realized Sogeking was Usopp even though his only difference was a red cape and a mask.

**Kakusei: **I know, right? Diamond-chan IS pretty cute. lol. And that's just about the worst thing that could ever happen to him. dB Ah, Ranma 1/2. One of the only animes out there that actually has to do with GENUINE genderbending, besides Kampfer, which was pretty perverted...

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Oh, gods! That's hilarious! No, even better, he's like... "What the hell...? He's not even in the same fandom... Heck, he's not even in a CROSS-OVER..." *depressed aura* XD

**DarkLord98: **Ah, just wait and see... a whole lot of teasing from Zoro and a Sanji who stubbornly refuses to believe Diamond is Damon. lol

**Chapter 7 start!**

* * *

Never Let Nami Take You Shopping  


The Battle of Swap Island Truly Commences!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast: **

_Nami directed her gaze on Zoro and I, which was when I finally started paying attention to the others' conversation. She got an evil grin and said in false sweetness, "Say, Damon - - er, gomen, Diamond. You have a huge chest and you fight a lot, huh? Plus you don't have any girl clothes." She got a strange glint on my eye that made a shiver run down my spine. "We're gonna have to take you shopping!"_

_My eyes widened and I backed away in horror, tripping and falling backward onto the gurney I'd been sleeping on. "No - - Matte! - - Please don't!" But Nami was a woman on a mission, and she grabbed my arm with enough force to hurt Lucy, then dragged me away, kicking and screaming and crying anime tears, while Zoro laughed so hard his throat went sore._

_Watching on the sidelines, Doctor Konoha wondered if he (actually she) should examine himself (actually herself) for signs of insanity. With this crew, it was only a matter of time._

Three young women stood in the clothes store, each with different reactions to this fact. The ginger navigator, who I was now sure had no soul, was eagerly picking out dresses and stacking them high on the pile in my arms. I was completely horrified to be there, my eye twitching uncontrollably. A certain raven haired girl wearing a straw hat just stood there looking bored, pouting impatiently.

"Why am I here, anyway?" Monkey D. Lucy grumbled, arms folded across her chest and looking kinda cute like that. Wait, this is _Lucy_ I'm talking about. How the hell is anything she does _cute_?

Nami made another choice selection and added it to the growing tower I now carried. "Because you skipped out on me in Loguetown," she told the pirate captain. "We were _supposed_ to have a girl's day out."

"But waiting for you to get done shopping isn't any fun!" Lucy complained.

I glanced at her sympathetically. "She does this to you all the time?"

"Everywhere with a decent store," she admitted.

Nami tossed me another... _ugh_... dress. "Say, Damon - - er, gomen, Diamond - -, you never explained something to us. How come you seem so well balanced? You didn't even trip on our way here. It's like you've been able to walk as a girl with huge boobs all your life."

My face flushed at the bluntness of the fact that I now had... sizable orbs hanging off me. "Ah, well, that's because I, you know, spent about a month and a half training to get my fighting power back while I was knocked out."

Obviously this made no sense to the navigator. Lucy nodded sagely. "Ah, so it's a mystery balancing act!"

"...No," I deadpanned, then proceeded to explain to them what had happened while it had appeared, to them, that only an hour or so had passed.

Nami raised her eyebrow. "Whoa. Your dad could slow down time so that it seemed like a month and a half? But wait a minute, wouldn't that mean you only have to be a girl for half a month now?"

I shook my head, depressed. "No. I asked Aeso that myself when he came to visit. He said that the 'days' I spent training didn't count as real days, even though my body outside the dream world physically adapted to my training."

There was an awkward silence, broken only by Lucy's blunt, "You're weird, you know that?"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT COMING FROM YOU!" I shouted angrily, drawing the attention of several other shoppers. I face-faulted as I thought about something. "Say, Lucy." Said pirate blinked. "What happened to my leather jacket? It's not on me and I didn't see it anywhere when I was fighting Zoro."

My captain thought for a moment, then pounded her fist with her palm, lifted up her straw hat... and took a black leather jacket off her head that had been stuffed underneath. My eye twitched. "Oh, you mean this thing?" Lucy asked. "It's Damon's, not yours."

I snatched it from her while Nami sweatdropped. "_I'm _Damon, you baka!"

"Eh? How could you be Damon? Damon's cool. You're cute. Damon ain't cute, and his name ain't Diamond." She was sounding strangely like me with those 'ain'ts.'

Nami double sweatdropped.

"I AIN'T CUTE, BAKA!" I roared, my face flushed beet red in embarrassment, which probably served only to make me look cuter. "AND HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW WHO I AM? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CARRIED ME BACK TO DOCTOR KONOHA'S SHOP, DAMMIT!"

"Calm down," hissed the soulless ginger of the group.

"But Lucy's being a baka!"

"I know. You can beat her up as much as you want for it later. But if you get angry now, you're gonna drop all the clothes you're carrying."

"_THAT'S _WHAT YOUR WORRIED ABOUT!?"

Nami sighed and massaged her forehead, then turned to Lucy, who was pouting in confusion. She said slowly, "Lucy. Lady Konton has the power to change peoples' genders with her Devil Fruit. Damon fell victim to her powers, so now he has been changed into Diamond for two months. Do you understand?"

There was a pregnant pause. Then...

"So Damon's a mystery okama?"

We fell over anime-style, though I somehow managed to keep a hold of my clothes and not spill them all over the floor.

"Yes," I decided, sighing. "I'm a mystery okama."

"You're weird."

"NO I'M NOT! YOU'RE JUST A BAKA!"

"Oh. Okay."

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING EVERYTHING SO EASILY!?"

That went on for about twenty minutes before we finally got it through Lucy's head that I was Damon AND Diamond; just the same person in different bodies. Once she understood at last, Nami got an evil glint in her eye and tossed a small stack of bras, to my great horror, onto my already oversized tower of clothes. By the time I had finished trying everything on (Nami said I had to wear the bras or else I'd owe her twice of what everything cost), my face was the brightest tomato ever. The greedy navigator was horrified when she learned that all of what we were buying cost a total of 30,000 belli, and managed to bargain it down to a minimum of 10,000 - - just a third of the original price.

* * *

As we were walking back to the Going Merry in order to put everything away, I had a sudden, horrible thought. "Oi, Nami, Lucy. Where am I gonna put my stuff now? I mean, I can't change in the guy's cabin anymore. And will I have to use the girls' bathroom?"

The navigator's snicker was more than enough of an answer for me.

When we boarded our ship, the carpenter, a middle aged woman (who I knew by now was actually a man - - gods, was this weird, thinking of all the Niji Town citizens in the opposite gender), told us that Mr. 9 and Vivi were on board, fishing. I shuddered at what they would say when they saw me like this. They'd probably laugh themselves silly.

We climbed the ladder onto the Merry, then I scrambled up to the crow's nest and brought all my stuff down, including my suitcase and my belli bag (Nami said I owed her the cost of the clothes anyway). Come to think of it, I really didn't own all that much.

Our two guests somehow didn't notice me until we had finished moving everything into the girl's cabin. (I would still be sleeping in the crow's nest, but we moved stuff to make it easier for me.)

Mr. 9 was beside himself. "Ha! You were never much of a man to begin with, baby!" he chortled.

"Urusai, bastard!" I growled, a fiery aura burning around me. "I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't zip it!"

"Devil Fruits can even change someone's gender!?" Vivi gasped in surprise. "Weird..." Luckily, she was so freaked out by the fact that Devil Fruits could do something like this that she didn't seem to quite register my situation.

"Come on, Diamond-chan!" Lucy complained, pouting cutely again. "Now that I got some brunch, I'm ready to go beat up that Lady Whoever's ass! Let's go already! What's taking you so long?"

I sighed, rubbing my temple. "Ara ara... hai, Lucy-chan..." (AN: 'Ara ara' is a Japanese term that is equivalent to 'oh my' or 'dear lord' or things like that.)

* * *

We dropped Nami off at Doctor Konoha's office, then we once again walked the path to Lady Konton's castle. It didn't seem as spooky as it had before, for some reason. Maybe I was simply used to it, or maybe my girl's body was less easily scared than my original body. Not to be sexist or anything, but... that would be really lame.

When we finally arrived at her hideout, it was still storming, but not quite as hard. I raised my eyebrow. It was as though it wasn't storming anywhere but this part of the island. Not that I was complaining or anything; because the storm was a sea storm, it gave me energy. If it had been a normal storm, then I might've been annoyed.

I fiddled with my jacket. Don't ask me why, but it had changed to fit a girl's body, too. That I was grateful for. It would've been so awkward to wear my normal jacket, since I was now a lot smaller than I normally was. It would've been so big on me... but I'm just rambling on here. Back to the important stuff.

I cracked my knuckled and gritted my teeth, anger rising as I glared at the dark castle. "Let's show Konton what we're really made of, Luce!" I declared.

She smirked. "Yeah. She's gonna pay for cursing my nakama."

"Agreed."

We marched through the still-demolished oaken doors and came to a stop a few feet inside. I threw off my jacket and let it fall back onto the wet floor. I could dry it off later.

"_So, Lucy and Damon are back, ne?_" said the voice of Lady Konton from somewhere I couldn't tell. I narrowed my eyes and gazed around the dark hall.

"Show yourself!" I bellowed. "Stop acting like a coward and get the hell out here! I'm gonna beat your ass! And the name's DIAMOND now, not Damon! Got it!?"

Lucy chuckled evilly, her face shadowed by her straw hat in a way that made her look far from the happy-go-lucky pirate captain I knew. "You stole something important from my nakama. Now you gotta pay the consequences."

I shivered. Who knew Lucy could get so sadistic?

"_Don't be stupid,_" Konton's voice echoed, an annoyed tone lacing it. Did I mention how weird it was to hear that? 'Cuz it was pretty damn weird. "_You couldn't beat me even when the boy was at full power. Now he's a girl, and whenever someone falls victim to my curse, their power drops by at least half. How could you hope to defeat me? It's an insult! I'll kill both of you!_"

A flash of lightning illuminated the room, allowing me to see Konton flying _right toward me_! I jumped in surprise, then twisted and dived to the side, accidentally knocking over Lucy. She gave a yelp of surprise and nearly dropped her straw hat as we tumbled over each other, ending up in a position that was slightly... suggestive. My cheeks burned red and I scrambled off her, ignoring the hotness of my face.

"Somehow we always end up like that," Lucy mumbled, picking herself up.

I turned just in time to see our enemy's blade cleaving through the air right at us. "Duck!" I yelled. My captain complied and the scythe cut through the air that had been filled by our bodies moments before.

"Strange," Konton murmured in that strange half-young, half-old voice of hers. "You don't seem to be any slower, _Diamond_. In fact..." she swiped again, an overhead strike this time, and I leaped to the side while unsheathing Chiwohiku. "I'd even dare to say you're _faster_. But that's impossible!"

"Screw possibility!" I exclaimed, starting a combo of attacks that had Konton on the defensive. "I'm a freakin' KAIZOKOU! And I'm a DEMIGOD!"

Her eyes narrowed as we locked blades once more, our power canceling each other out. "Eh? What's that? You're a demigod, too? So that's why you smelled different from the girl..."

"GUM-GUM BULLET!" called Lucy, sending an uppercut at the other demigod. She backed up a step, scythe still locked against mine, and the attack barely missed. Then she followed up with, "GUM-GUM PISTOL!" and Konton was forced to duck.

I grunted and threw all my weight into a downward thrust. Finally our weapons moved, her scythe being dragged to the ground. Konton's eyes widened and she growled.

"N-Nani? How? But this is impossible..." she spat. She disappeared again... or at least, she tried to, but I could finally see her. It was only a blur, mind you, but I saw a flash of color as she jumped around the room.

I smirked. "You can't hide from me any more!" I pointed Chiwohiku at the blur as it swept everywhere. The blur flashed toward me. I dived out of the way, swiping with my sword as I did so, but I hadn't quite reacted in time. I felt a thin wound open up in my shoulder as Konton managed to nick me. But I managed to get her, too, judging by her shout of pain and the small, red flecks of blood.

"_You can see me!?_" screeched the demigod daughter of war in shock. "_No way!_"

She zoomed straight for Lucy, who was still glancing wildly around, and I roared in anger. I held my blue-colored sword high in the air, charged at my captain, who jumped away wisely, and swept down in a mighty blow.

CLANG! The metallic sound rang out and suddenly the evil lady was in full view, sliding back under the force from my cut. She was blocking with the staff end of her scythe, but Chiwohiku bit into it. Her feet kicked up a thin line of dust.

"_You're stronger_?" Konton realized. "_N-N-Nani? But I don't - - I don't understand!_"

"GUM-GUM TWIN PISTOL!" Lucy called, and I ducked and rolled away. Konton screamed in shock as my captain's fists rammed into her with enough force to stop a rampaging bull, which unless I was mistaken, she actually did once in the anime.

When I looked, she was picking herself up off the ground, having fallen moments before. Even with that youth formula of hers, she looked like an evil old hag. She hissed as she glared at us. "Don't think that you shall win this battle," she rasped, clutching her slightly broken staff so tightly that her knuckles went white. "You just surprised me, that's all. The true fight... begins now!"

Lucy and I exchanged glances, then nodded.

It was time to end this, once and for all. This was quite literally a game of life and death. Whoever wins walks away with their lives... but whoever loses would _lose_ their lives.

The citizens of Niji Town, as well as us Straw Hats, depended upon the outcome of this battle.

* * *

**I am fairly certain that this was the shortest chapter I have ever written for this fanfiction... ah well. I hope you guys like it! I don't think I'm very good at writing fight scenes, especially ones that I made up myself. I hope I didn't make Diamond seem overpowered. And writing a Lucy + Diamond fight is even harder than writing a normal fight... gah...  
**

Diamond: Bras... I have to wear bras now...

Usopp: Your manhood has officially been stolen from you. I am very sorry.

Zoro: *snorts in laughter* Ha! Damon's a girl!

Diamond: URUSAI! And it's Diamond, baka!

Lucy: I'm still confused...

Nami: HOW DENSE ARE YOU!?

Diamond: Let's just put it at this - - She's denser than a diamond.

Usopp: *sweatdrops* Are you calling yourself dense then?

Sanji: Ah ~ Diamond-chan is so beautiful when she's degrading herself~!

**Yeah... this could go on forever. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! Follow or favorite if you like the story so far and haven't done so yet. Leave a review on what you liked about this chapter, what you didn't, what you found funny, how you think I could make my fight scenes better, et cetera. You know that jazz. Don't forget to check out my companion story, Straw Hat Snippets, which details things the Straw Hats and Damon/Diamond go through on a daily basis. Plus there's even a one-shot involving Cracked-Up Kane, as well as a flashback that goes into greater detail on the reason why Damon/Diamond hates clowns. Oh, and before I forget, popularity is not necessary for me to continue writing, but I would really appreciate if you would follow and/or favorite _Across the Sands_.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	8. No 8: The Freedom of Swap Island!

**And so we have the final chapter of the Swap Island Arc! Will Lucy and Diamond defeat Lady Konton and save the citizens of Niji Town? Or will they, as well as Diamond, be forever cursed to live eternally as the opposite gender? Read on to find out! Ah, and just for a disclaimer, there is a lot in this part taken from Bleach. I do not own Bleach OR One Piece. Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Kakusei:** This may be one of the only times he will actually fight the main antagonist, except for the OTHER original arc I have planned. And I think Alabasta is only a few weeks... I'm pretty sure they don't hit the two month mark until somewhere around Water 7/Thriller Bark.

**guisniperman: **Yup, poor Damon/Diamond. He'll have a separate bounty poster and nickname for each of his genders. XD This is so totally messed up...

**OPFan37:** Yeah, sometimes I do that when I'm writing, too. It helps you really get into the mood for a fight scene!

**Chapter 8 start!  
**

* * *

The True Power of a Demigod!

The Freedom of Swap Island!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_When I looked, she was picking herself up off the ground, having fallen moments before. Even with that youth formula of hers, she looked like an evil old hag. She hissed as she glared at us. "Don't think that you shall win this battle," she rasped, clutching her slightly broken staff so tightly that her knuckles went white. "You just surprised me, that's all. The true fight... begins now!"_

_Lucy and I exchanged glances, then nodded._

_It was time to end this, once and for all. This was quite literally a game of life and death. Whoever wins walks away with their lives... but whoever loses would lose their lives._

_The citizens of Niji Town, as well as us Straw Hats, depended upon the outcome of this battle._

"Yosha," I agreed. "Let's get this over with already!" I gripped Chiwohiku tighter and charged Lady Konton, who gritted her teeth and reached into her red jacket. I threw a devastating underhand strike at her, attempting to cut up her stomach, but she pulled out another scythe from her jacket - - at first, it looked like a stick with a small curve on it, but as she yelled a battle cry and blocked with both weapons, it grew into a scythe equal to the size of the other one. I grunted and pushed against them, but out power was so equal that a strong force ricocheted back on us and knocked us apart.

I hit the ground hard, tumbling and rolling. Chiwohiku flew off somewhere to the right, clattering against the floor.

"Diamond!" Lucy shouted.

I flipped over mid-bounce and planted my feet firmly on the floor, skidding to a stop while kicking up a cloud of dust. I coughed, then called back, "I'm fine!"

"Oh, good. That bitch stopped herself by sticking her scythes in the floor. Then she disappeared again."

"Dammit," I cursed, narrowing my eyes as I peered around the room for the enemy's blur. "That's annoying." I looked all around me, but I wasn't seeing anything. Weird. Had she gotten faster? Or had she...

"NIKAMA STYLE, SOUL SLAYER!" Konton shouted, her voice coming from... directly above me! I gasped and rolled backwards, just in time to avoid the sharp weapons, which barreled down from the sky and stuck in the tiled floor. I stopped myself and ran forward, taking a flying jump. **(AN: _Nikama _is a word I made up taking _ni_, which means _two,_ and _kama_, which means scythe. So literally translated, it would be Two-Scythes.)**

"Kami no Korosu," I called, "David's Star!" **(AN: _Kami no Korosu_ means _god slayer_, and it's a move Diamond learned while training over the month and a half.) **I twisted my body around, cutting in the shape of a David's Star as I did so, while directing water vapor into my blade. Konton screamed in pain and let go of her scythes, dropping out of the way of my blade. I landed on the other side of her, then turned and simply slammed the hilt of my sword into the back of her head. She gasped and was thrown through the cold air, straight into the path of a Gum-Gum Axe, courtesy of Lucy.

"She's gone again," I noticed, looking at the empty crater created by my captain's attack.

Lucy raised her eyebrow. "That was the attack that took out that Arlong bastard. To still be able to fight after that... she's strong."

My eyes widened and I made some of the rain collect into my palm. "Lucy, duck!" I said. She nodded and I clenched my fist, ready to throw the water in my hand. I remembered Vesoghatsuo's instructions... _Imagine the water hardening. Keep up it's momentum. That's the only way it'll hurt_. I remembered fighting against the fishmen Fennu and Arlong, and getting hit by all those water droplets. I closed my eyes in concentration, then threw the water. "Water Shot!" I yelled.

_SLAM!_

"OOF!" Konton hissed, getting thrown back, but not totally falling over. She did, however, get a whole bunch of souvenir wounds. I smirked. She'd been about to attack Lucy from behind, but one of the new attacks I'd learned had stopped her in her tracks. All those cuts I'd earned on Conomi Island had been worth it.

"Arigatou," Lucy told me, dragging her foot along the floor in a circular motion, knocking against Konton and sweeping her even further off her feet. She yelled in frustration and tumbled to the ground, then vanished from sight.

I growled in exasperation. "That speed of hers gets on my nerves!"

"Oi, you're the one who can see her," my captain pointed out, pouting. "I can only land a hit on her when she's not moving."

"Point taken."

I swiveled around, looking for her blur, but I didn't see a thing. Then I felt a searing hot pain in my back and yelled in agony. I had been so slow that Lady Konton had managed to actually score a pretty deep wound on my back. I heard Zoro's voice in my head. _Scars on the back are a swordsman's shame_.

Good thing I'm a martial artist.

I turned, but Konton had already disappeared again. Lucy started up her Gum-Gum Fireworks again, and I hit the floor so as not to be in the line of fire. A pained shout let me know that this time, she had managed to land a blow on her target.

There! Our opponent was getting pummeled by fist after fist. Her white undershirt was stained red with blood dripping down from her face. I felt a little sick looking at it, by I had my own struggle to attend to. Konton's scythes had ripped two lines on my back, which were hurting so bad it was hard to stand up. I wanted to land the finishing blow - - I knew Konton couldn't be far from death by now, Lucy's punches hurt like hell - - but I couldn't even pick myself up!

_How... lame..._I thought angrily. _I already lost once. I won't loose again! I need the power to win!  
_

* * *

_"Diamond."_

My eyes widened. Where was I? I wasn't in the dark entrance hall of Lady Konton's mansion-castle. I was in some weird world that I'd never seen before. It looked spooky. It had a purple sky and a... smirking sun looking over it? I was reminded of the Soul Eater universe. The landscape was a forest decked out in early Halloween. The trees were all dead and leafless. The ground looked pretty boggy, and a strange mist hung over the place. I was sitting on a tall tree that had to be 300 feet high, definitely high enough to make me feel dizzy. One mistake and I'd be falling all the way down.

Now, I'm not afraid of heights, don't get me wrong. But what I _am_ afraid of is the impact at the bottom when you fall.

"Where... am I?" I said in confusion. How the hell had I gotten here?

_"Diamond."_ the voice came again. It was soft and reassuring, the voice of a motherly figure. It also felt strangely familiar. My eyes widened and I looked around in shock.

No way... that couldn't be...

"_I'm right here, Diamond_," the woman said again. I gasped and looked to my immediate left. Sitting on the tree with me was a woman who looked so much like my mom it hurt. But... no way could this be my mom. Sure, she had that same chocolate brown hair, those soft, warm green eyes, that aura that seemed to calm you down no matter what happened. Yeah, she even had the same black dress my mom had been wearing the last time I saw her alive. But that was just it. My mom was _dead_. Gone. Never coming back.

"Who... are you?" I gasped, voice breaking. "Where am I? What am I doing here?"

The woman regarded me sadly. "_You don't know who I am? But we have been together for about two weeks now, Diamond. We've fought together, laughed together. You've carried me with you on your travels since the day we met._"

"I... I don't understand."

"_My name is Chiwohiku_."

I furrowed my brow. "But... Chiwohiku is my sword, my _kami no kosoru_, according to Vesoghatsuo - - a sword with the ability to slay immortals. You're a woman. How can you be my sword?"

She chuckled. "_Ah, so that's it. The war god never fully explained things, did he? Kami no kosoru are the weapons that inspired the Zanpakuto in the Bleach series... in fact, I suppose you can say that we're the first generation of Zanpakuto, since that world exists as much as this one does, or the world you were thrown into. You see, Diamond, kami no kosoru are a part of a demigod's soul, much like a Zanpakuto is a part of a Shinigami's soul. I am Chiwohiku, and Chiwohiku is me. Essentially, you are Chiwohiku as well. This is what gives you the power to draw water vapor into your weapon_."

I rubbed my temple. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second. Information overload. So you're saying that kami no kosoru work the same as Zanpakuto."

"_Yes._"

"You're a part of my soul."

"_Correct._"

"Is... is that why you look so much like my mom?"

The woman... Chiwohiku... nodded. "_You understand it beautifully. Your mom was the most important part of your life up until her death. She had such a large impact on you that I was forged to resemble her._" She gestured out to the world around us. "_To answer your other question, the world we are in is your inner world. Just like a Shinigami can enter his or her inner world to converse with their Zanpakuto, so can a demigod to converse with his kami no kosoru. You wished desperately for the power to win your fight, despite your serious injury. I can give you that. However, you must find your true power in this world_."

I frowned. "My... true power?" I tilted my head in confusion. "I don't understand."

Chiwohiku simply smiled. Then the tree branch I was perched on broke, just in between me and my kami no kosoru. For a second, I hung in space, my eyes widening. Then I fell.

* * *

I'd like to say that as I tumbled down the 300 foot drop, I came to some greater level of understanding, that I was able to laugh death in the face. The truth? My only thought was: "AHHH!"

The wind whipped my long hair back and made my face feel like it was getting peeled off. My heart was pounding about a mile a minute, and the ground got closer and closer with every second. How the hell was I supposed to find POWERS in these conditions? Heck, how was I supposed to find powers at all?

There was a flash of light and suddenly Chiwohiku was falling next to me, looking calm.

"_You may not have the power to see Spirit Ribbons,_" she said, "_but you do have another way to sense things, especially things made out of water. You can also summon things made out of water to your side. You must find me soon. You have already lost so much blood... if you do not find me by the time you land, you will die._"

I blinked, which was an odd feeling when you're falling at top speed. "Wait, are you implying that you're made of water?" It was hard to talk, and I had to practically scream to be able to make myself be heard.

She smiled and faded away.

I gritted my teeth and looked at the ground. Big mistake. I'd probably smash against it in three or four seconds, and then it would all be over. _Okay, okay, let's think_, I told myself. _How do you control water? __You throw your thoughts out to the sea. Maybe I can do that here? I mean, there's no ocean, but... _I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated. For a moment, I couldn't feel anything and I was sure that I would die. Then my neck suddenly tingled and my eyes widened. I turned and looked straight up. There, stuck into the very top of the dead tree I'd just fallen from, was a blue tinted sword. But unlike Chiwohiku, which resembled a broadsword, this one looked like Ichigo's bankai, except blue with a velvet hilt and no chain. It was also longer, I'd say about the size of myself.

And my senses were telling me that it was Chiwohiku. I raised my eyebrow, but demanded the sword to come to my side. It vanished and reappeared in my hand.

"_Good,_" whispered the voice of my kami no kosoru.

* * *

I was back in the real world, or at least my mind was. I think my body was there the entire time. Did that mean my spirit had entered my inner world or something? Whatever the case, I didn't feel the pain from my two back wounds anymore.

"Oi, Diamond, you alright?" Lucy said. She was looking worried and leaning over me. I glanced past her and saw that Konton was laying on the floor, looking battered and bruised. "I think we won."

Then our opponent got up, hissing and snarling. Her eyes were red and she was clutching her scythes tightly.

"Oh, maybe not."

I panted, blood trickling out of the corners of my mouth. I gripped Chiwohiku, which was still a broadsword, and raised it high above my head, pointed straight at the ceiling. I placed two fingers from my other hand in front of my mouth and said calmly, "Destroy all enemies, Chiwohiku."

An enormous blast of oceanic energy radiated from the tip of my blade, and then I could feel it changing. When I brought it back down to attention, it was the long, thin sword from the inner world.

Lucy's eyes lit up. "Whoa! It can change forms! Sugoi!"

Konton narrowed her eyes. Her face was heavily bruised but not swelling, which I decided was because of her youth serum or whatever. She crossed her scythes. "So," she rasped, "you have discovered your Sukiru Byo, your Skill Second. Well, guess I shouldn't hold back either, then. Smite the gods, Long Wenyi!"

As I watched through half-lidded eyes, the scythes morphed together, turned into a shapeless blob of yellow light, then expanded into the shape of a double-bladed scythe with a dark purple edge. It had a dark grip and a fancy dragon design on the blunt end of either blade. I didn't like the look of that liquid dripping off of the blades... and my instincts were confirmed when it burned a hole in the floor.

It was either acid or poison.

"Whoa, that has another form, too!" Lucy was in her element. "This is SO COOL!"

For a second, neither of us did anything. We just seized up our Sukiru Byo. Then, we charged. I let out a battle cry and increased my speed as fast as I could go. And it felt pretty damn fast. The world slowed down, and I zoomed around the room.

Now _I _was the one with the incredible speed.

As I passed by her once, I hacked at her, but she blocked with the handle of her double-bladed scythe. I winced in pain. The tip of the top blade had pierced my arm, and a burning sensation dripped into me. That freakin' poison had gotten me.

I sped up again and got out of there before Lady Konton could follow up.

My left arm, which had been the one wounded, was slowly getting invaded by a burning fire and becoming useless. I swapped Chiwohiku to my right hand instead.

I jumped mid-run and flew through the air on a collision course with an unsuspecting and very confused Konton. My feet slammed into her face, effectively slowing me down but also throwing her back at least twenty meters, where she crashed into the nearest wall. She got out of the wreckage, body shaking, and I grinned. I readied myself for another blow, then disappeared and danced around the room, building up water vapor in my blade and recalling the feeling from when we first arrived at this castle. When I was done, I flashed forward right to Konton, shouting, "TEMPEST GETSUGA TENSHO!"

As the blue beam of razor-sharp water was flung toward her, my opponent's eyes widened in horror. She tried to block with the scythe, but it was no use. The attack bit through the handle and broke it clean in two, carrying on to her.

The last thing I saw before I became unconscious for the third time that day was the look of utter terror in her eyes.

* * *

**If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my ability to make a good ending. And my good grammar, my good spelling (even though I make a few mistakes here and there - - but that might just be because I type so fast), my good looks... the list goes on and on. I am most certainly _not_ a humble Christian. XD Oh, and sorry for posting this so late. My Internet was knocked out for most of this morning, and yesterday I couldn't get on my 'Manage Stories' page for some reason.  
**

Diamond: Jeez, now I now how Ichigo felt like when he was fighting Byakuya.

Lucy: Your sword is TOTALLY AWESOME!

Usopp: Does this mean we can leave? Please? I want to go already... *cries anime tears*

**Sorry that I pretty much stole the inner world thing from Bleach. It's an awesome anime and I couldn't really make that idea any awesomer than it already was. lol. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! If you enjoy my story so far, please follow and/or favorite _Across the Sands_. Don't forget to leave a review saying what you liked about this chapter, what you didn't like, what you found funny, et cetera! Also please check out my companion story, OP Full Blast: Straw Hat Snippets. Fans of this series will like those 'one-shots,' I promise. :) Popularity IS appreciated, but IS NOT necessary. Well, signing off for now!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	9. No 9: A Town That Welcomes Pirates!

**Okay, people! This is it! The last chapter of the Swap Island Arc and the first chapter of the Whiskey Peak Arc! If you can even call it an arc. I mean, it's only like, three episodes I think. Meh. Whatever. Say, did any of you notice that I rewrote the descriptions of both this book and the first? Anyway, here are my replies to the reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** Technically, I guess he/she could, but then again who would want to summon that bike-riding moron? lol

**guisniperman: **I know, I felt kinda bad for just stealing from Bleach like that. :P But hey, it's an awesome series, and I just wanted to incorporate some of that. But arigatou. I know how much people hate Mary Sues/Gary Stus so I try not to do that too much. XD

**SugoiAuthorToBe:** Nah, that'd just get annoying after a while. Sometimes he'll pass out, sometimes he won't. Depends on my mood at the time. And ah, you made a really good point! Yes, she'll be pretty much screwed in Alabasta until River Base or whatever Crocodile's hideout is called, and she'll also be screwed on Drum Island, as well as every other winter island. The reason for THAT is because water slows down in cold temps, and due to his/her heritage, Damon/Diamond will get weaker and weaker the colder it gets. I'm thinking for Alabasta, she's just gonna have to lug around a huge barrel of water and constantly sip from it. Poor Diamond. Not really. XD And yeah, that straw-pulling thing really defined the arc. The others didn't want to get cursed, and Damon just has bad luck. lol!

**Chapter 9 start!**

* * *

Lady Konton Defeated!

Arriving at the Town That Welcomes Pirates!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I jumped mid-run and flew through the air on a collision course with an unsuspecting and very confused Konton. My feet slammed into her face, effectively slowing me down but also throwing her back at least twenty meters, where she crashed into the nearest wall. She got out of the wreckage, body shaking, and I grinned. I readied myself for another blow, then disappeared and danced around the room, building up water vapor in my blade and recalling the feeling from when we first arrived at this castle. When I was done, I flashed forward right to Konton, shouting, "TEMPEST GETSUGA TENSHO!"_

_As the blue beam of razor-sharp water was flung toward her, my opponent's eyes widened in horror. She tried to block with the scythe, but it was no use. The attack bit through the handle and broke it clean in two, carrying on to her._

_The last thing I saw before I became unconscious for the third time that day was the look of utter terror in her eyes._

It felt like only a second before I woke up again, and I saw that I was back in Doctor Konoha's office, on the same gurney. I felt a major sense of deja vu, but given the fact that I'd experienced this exact same thing before, that was understandable.

"Ah, Diamond-chan~!" cooed Sanji. When I opened my eyes and rubbed them, I saw him hovering over me with heart-shaped eyes, holding a bowl of steaming stew. "You're awake at last! Please partake of my soup of love! It was cold, but I warmed it up for you~!"

"Arigatou, Sanji," I said, accepting the meal gratefully. Then I tic-pulsed. "By the way, _do not_ dote on me _ever_ again. I may be a girl right now, but I'm still a guy on the inside, dammit!"

"There's no need to be that way, my beautiful Diamond-chan~!"

Zoro snorted. "Baka ero-cook."

"Eh? What was that, Marimo?! Do you wanna fight?"

"Bring it, bastard. I can kick your ass any day."

"NO FIGHTING!" Nami roared, bopping them on the head. They dropped to the floor, sporting two knots each. Zoro was grumbling about her needing anger management, while Sanji was adoring her fiery temper.

I sweatdropped. "Typical day with the Straw Hats, ne?" I sipped the stew, looking around the office. Lucy was inhaling a bowl of stew the size of Shanks's booze cup and Usopp was telling lies to her. I blinked. "Oi, where's the ossan?"

"You mean Doctor Konoha?" Usopp spoke up. I nodded. "He's dead. He said something about the curse being broken, and then he just... dissolved."

"Dissolved?"

"For once, Usopp's telling the truth," Zoro agreed, much to the liar's chagrin. "It was weird."

"A, so desu ka." I decided not to delve too much further into that subject. One of the reasons I was trapped in that alleyway about four weeks ago and forced into this world was because I didn't like horror movies, and even the mention of people dying is enough to make me queasy. Watching One Piece was alright for me because I knew no one was actually dying; Luffy would rather make his enemies suffer by beating them to an inch of death and then leaving them alive to see their dreams shattered and broken, strange seeing as he's a dreamer himself... or since I have a female Luffy as my captain, is it _herself_? Let's go with both.

Lucy finished off her bowl and dropped it on the table with a thud. "Diamond-chan, you were awesome back there!" she cheered excitedly, eyes lighting up. She turned to Usopp, grinning widely. "Did you know her sword can change forms and shoot water? It's sugoi!"

"Hontou?" Usopp gasped, his eyes widening as he looked at me in surprise. "It can!? Show me!"

I sighed tiredly and shrugged. "Hai, it can, but I'm not sure if I can pull it off right now. I'm tired."

"Phooey."

"Cry me a river."

Zoro stretched and strapped his swords to his side. "Come on, minna. Let's go. The carpenter said our ship was done."

I raised my eyebrow. "When?"

"About an hour after you left the second time," Sanji replied, stuffing his now-cooled off pan in his pants.

"Oh..."

"Yosha," Nami said, uncharacteristically cheerful. Then her eyes turned to belli signs, and I had an inkling of a feeling I knew what she was happy about. "Let's go already! I finished my map of this island, plus I took all the money from their homes, as well as some really cute dresses I want to try on Diamond..."

I hung my head in depression. "Dresses... I have to wear bras and dresses and panties..."

Usopp patted me on the back solemnly. "Gomen, Damon - - er, Diamond-chan. It must be really tough, having your masculinity stomped on like that."

"Arigatou, Usopp," I sniffed. "At least _you_ actually care."

Lucy tilted her head. "Care about what?"

"YOU DUMBASS! CLEARLY I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A GUY AND I HAVE TO WEAR GIRL'S CLOTHES!"

"But you're a girl."

"WE ALREADY EXPLAINED THIS TO YOU!"

Nami and Usopp sweatdropped, Zoro burst into laughter, and Sanji just swooned at the angry expression on my face. Yep, this life of mine is officially insane.

* * *

The ocean was calm and clear, as if we were back on the East Blue and had never experienced the crazy storm that had shipwrecked us on Swap Island. The Log Pose hadn't been given enough time to record the island's magnetic field, so it was still locked on to the next island in line - - Whiskey Peak. Well, actually I wasn't sure if that was the name of the island, but it was definitely at least the name of the town.

"Say, why are you two here, anyway?" asked Zoro, raising an eyebrow and pointing at Mr. 9 and Vivi.

"SO SLOW!" they gasped, looking awed at just how slow he could be. I mean, seriously, they'd been here for three days at least!

"We're taking them to their hometown," Lucy replied casually, reclining on her special seat. "The place is called Whiskey Peak."

"You mean we're giving them a lift? It's not like we owe them anything. They didn't even help fix the ship."

"Neither did we," I pointed out. "We let that carpenter dude do it himself."

"Hai," Miss Moron agreed. "We owe 'em nothing."

He shrugged. "Well, not like I care." _Then why did you ask...?_ He knelt down and sneered at the two in question, who were sitting side-by-side. They scooted away nervously. "Those look like faces that have nasty ideas..." he mused, smirking. "What were your names again?"

They leaned back. Mr. 9's face twitched... I really have to get a cure for Tourette's Syndrome. "Please call me Mr. 9, baby," he mumbled with a fixed smile.

Vivi sweated bullets. "I'm Miss Wednesday."

"Really." The swordsman put a finger to his chin. "I've been thinking about those names since I first heard them. Maybe I've heard them before, maybe I haven't... well, either way - -" He was suddenly cut off by a sharp punch on the back of the head from me, making him bend forward and smash his face against the deck. He glared at me, a fiery green aura flowing out from him. "Eh? You think you can hurt me, _Spazko_?"

My eye twitched, proving his feminized nickname for me. A blue fiery aura erupted around me. "Urusai! Stop picking on them, we're just returning them to their hometown and nothing else! Even if they _were_ planning something, it wouldn't matter 'cuz we could just stop them, right?"

A few hours later, Nami called a meeting on the upper deck, gathering all us Straw Hats together, as well as the Baroque Works agents. She had a serious look on her face that drew the attentions of everyone on board. When Nami was serious, either someone was about to get beaten up big-time, or she had something important to say.

"Okay, listen up," she said sternly, making us all sit straight. She clenched her short shorts tightly. "We all have to stay on our toes. That storm we all experienced - -" she glared at Zoro and planted three firm punches on his head, making him gasp in pain and confusion before falling to the floor, "- -except for _someone_, who _kept sleeping no matter how many times we tried to wake him up_, was crazy. But I want you all to know that I won't be surprised by something like that again! I can finally grasp the fearsomeness of this ocean, and I won't let this sea defeat me again! I _will_ navigate us through the Grand Line!"

Usopp was still uncertain and shivered, remembering that violent hurricane/blizzard/every other storm you could imagine. "Are we really... gonna be okay?"

She smirked. "We'll be fine! Something good'll come our way." She looked out to sea and grinned, pointing. "For instance, look! We were delayed a little by that misadventure, but our destination was not too far away! And now the first leg of our journey is complete! We're finally at Whiskey Peak!"

We all looked at the area she was highlighting, then gasped. Shrouded in fog, we could just see what looked like cacti the size of Laboon poking out through thin, cloudy tendrils. Lucy giggled, Sanji whooped, Usopp gasped, Zoro blinked, and I put my hands on my hips, sighing in relief. We were here! Speaking of which, we'd been seriously late because of our accident. I hoped the events in Alabasta would adjust to the change.

"Land ho!" announced Lucy.

Sanji lit a cigarette. "So, this is Whiskey Peak. Sure is a weird-looking island."

"This is the Grand Line," I said, though I was a bit awed by the sheer size of the cacti myself. "Get used to strange islands from now on."

"Check out the huge cacti!" Lucy pointed out.

As the _Going Merry_ entered the fog surrounding the island, Mr. 9 and Vivi jumped and smoothly perched themselves on the railing. We all blinked and looked at them.

"This is our stop," the wannabe king declared.

Vivi grinned like a fake. "Thanks for the ride, baby!"

"We'll meet again, if it is destined to be!"

In unison, they said, "Bye bye, baby!"

Then they back flipped off of the ship and swam off to the shore.

Nami, Usopp, and I sweatdropped.

"There they go," said Nami monotonously.

Usopp blinked and tilted his head. "Who were those guys anyway? We never did find out."

I sighed cutely - - which is really awkward to say, but hey, my voice is high and girly now so my sighs are cute! So embarrassing... "Usopp, Usopp, Usopp," I chided, "we already _know_ who they are. They're Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. What you wanna know is what their occupation is, what they do."

"Who cares?" Lucy cut in, giggling and leaning forward on the figurehead. "We're here!"

We turned to the island. Sure enough, the Merry had sailed close enough that we would've been shipwrecked _again_ if it wasn't for the fact that the ocean current was taking us directly through a river that divided the island in two. Nami gasped.

"There's a river through the island!" she noted. "Looks like we can dock there." The ginger navigator motioned toward an area off to the left. I squinted through the fog.

"Geez, this fog is so thick it makes the island kinda creepy," I said.

Usopp shivered. "You don't think there'll be monsters and stuff here, do you?"

Sanji looked bored. "Could be. This _is_ the Grand Line."

Lucy grinned and looked at us. "If there _are_ monsters, we'll just leave!"

"No we can't!" Nami shot back sternly. "Don't forget there's a certain amount of time we need to stay at this island."

"Why?"

I sighed. "Do you ever listen to anything, baka? The Log Pose has to take time to adapt itself to the island's magnetic field so it can take us to the next island on our path. If we try to set sail without letting it reset, we'll have no idea where we're going and could end up lost for days. We might encounter another one of those weird-ass storms like before, except this time the consequences might be that we die. Lucy, if you die that means you don't get to be Kaizokou Queen. If we set out before the Log Pose can reset, you don't get to be Kaizokou Queen. Do you understand?"

"A, so desu ka."

"Good."

"One more thing," Nami added. "The time it takes the Log Pose to reset itself is different for each island, which is why we were able to set sail before it recorded Swap Island's magnetic field. In Swap Island's case, it took about a week, but for some islands, it might take only a few seconds, or even a few months."

I nodded. "Some island's fields can't be recorded for years."

"Years!?" the others gasped.

"Nani!?" Usopp complained. "So even if we want to get off of this monster island, we might not be able to leave for DAYS because of the Log!?"

"That's right," Nami and I said in unison.

Lucy giggled. "Well, if that happens, we'll worry about it then. Let's just go!"

"Lucy's right," Zoro agreed. "Let's go. Just thinking about it isn't gonna get us anywhere."

"And no matter what happens, I'll protect Nami-san, Lucy-chan, and Diamond-chan!" Sanji added.

I glared at him, "Urusai, ero-cook! I don't need your dumbass protection! I can take care of myself just fine, thank you very much! But yeah, we just gotta go. Haven't you ever heard the saying, 'No pain, no gain,' Usopp?"

The sniper cried anime tears. "The pain part is what's got me worried..." He clutched his throat and made annoying, high-pitched retching sounds. "Hey, minna, listen, I think I've contracted a serious case of I-can't-get-on-this-island disease..."

"Yosha!" Nami said. "I've already decided. We're going! But remember, be prepared to run or fight at any time."

"S-So that means you haven't heard of my terrible disease, have you...?"

"Nope," I confirmed through half-lidded eyes. "Never heard of it and don't care about it, so don't bother explaining."

"I wonder what we'll encounter here..." Sanji mused.

I smirked mysteriously as Usopp's bemoaning continued. "You know," I said slowly, "I've heard discomforting stories about islands close to Reverse Mountain. They tend to have natives that are hostile to everyone with unnaturally large noses. The islanders also usually hate people who wear overalls..."

The cowardly liar shivered in fear and sank to the floor.

Sanji's eyes turned to hearts. "Ah, Diamond-chan is so beautiful when she's purposefully scaring people~!"

I punched him hard in the eye as a reward, drawing a snicker from Zoro.

The river carried us further inland and we all peered through the fog, trying to see what was waiting for us through the slightly moist curtain. I could just make out some shadowy shapes that could've been people, but what Usopp declared were most certainly hordes of monsters that were good at disguising themselves. I hit him over the head to shut him up, because I was getting ticked off at his cowardliness.

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE FOR A FEW CHAPTERS 'CUZ OF LAZINESS!**

* * *

As the Merry sailed on through the fog and Usopp lay twitching on the ground, I sighed, content that there was no scared talk now. Finally, the low-hanging cloud started thinning and we could see the figures on the shore more clearly.

"Eh?" Lucy frowned as she noticed them. "What's that out there?"

Sanji squinted. "People! There's definitely people on the shore!"

I rolled my eyes. "We can see that."

"Minna, on your guard," Nami ordered cautiously.

Usopp stood up and readied his green slingshot, his knees shaking like a fat girl's bum on a treadmill. "Ah, shit..." he cried. "Looks like I'll have to brace myself for the worst. Be you monsters or whatever... COME ON OUT!"

I regarded him distastefully. "Arthur Schopenhauer has got nothing on you, bro."

"Who's Arthur Schopenhauer?"

"My home town's greatest pessimist."

"Oh."

A low noise started up, then suddenly grew in volume to a drone, and then turned into a full scale crowd of shouts. The fog lifted, finally, and we were able to see that a whole village of people had been waiting for us on the shore in front of a town, and our jaws dropped. They looked... they...

"They're happy...?" I gasped, a probably-comical look of disbelief on my face. (Think Ichigo Kurosaki and you'll know what I mean.)

"It's like they're glad to see kaizokou," Usopp remarked, eye twitching. "What's wrong with these people!?"

"Welcome to the Grand Line!" the villagers cheered. They were all dressed in something different from the others, and it was mostly bright, summery colors that made me feel like I was staring at a rainbow. I didn't spot a single emo in the whole group. As I watched, they waved colorful flags and threw streamers all over the place. Some people even played happy tunes on various instruments. I raised an eyebrow. One of the villagers strangely resembled Tatsuki from Bleach. "Welcome to our town, the town of celebration - - Whiskey Peak!"

Lucy broke out in a rubbery grin. "Town of celebration, eh? Sounds like my kinda place!"

Sanji was flabbergasted. "What the hell's going on?"

"Beats me," I replied in a small voice, the irony of the situation momentarily driving all other coherent thought away from me.

"WELCOME! Long live the heroes of the sea! Banzai!"

Sanji suddenly face-faulted and his eyes turned to hearts. "Oh~! There's so many cute girls~!"

I regarded him distastefully and tapped Zoro. "Look at that! It's the legendary ero-cook in its natural habitat!"

The swordsman snorted in amusement.

Apparently, Usopp had already adjusted to our current situation, because he was leaning over the railing of the Merry and blowing kisses to the shore, quipping, "Well, whaddya know? Kaizokou really are heroes to everyone, aren't they?"

"They're not," I deadpanned.

"Oi!" Lucy called to the crowd.

Nami was busy picking her jaw off of the floor. "These people must be insane!" she muttered.

Because it seemed fairly safe enough, we decided to dock at the harbor in town and we all got off. I had that momentary sense of dizziness I always did whenever we stepped onto land (I was still getting used to landlubber's feet), but it passed as a large man in a navy suit stepped forward. He had huge, blonde, curly hair and he looked like a cross-dresser. He carried something like a tuba or a saxophone or whatever. I'd never been a very musically talented person (singing not included) and I had a hard time distinguishing one instrument from another. Hey, I can't do _everything _right, ya know!

"Welco - -" he began, but suddenly froze and pounded his chest. "Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah ~! Ahem. Welcome! My name is Igarappoi."

I tilted my head. "If your name irritates you, then just get a new one." (AN: _Igarappoi _means _irritating_.)

The old man blinked. "Nani? Ah, no, Igarappoi's my name, not how I feel about it. Anyway, I am the mayor of this small town."

Lucy stepped forward with a simple look on her face. "Ah. Ore wa Lucy. Nice to meet ya." She pointed and sounded amused. "Ossan, your hair is way too curly."

"This is the town of spirit brewing and lively music," Igarappoi continued, smiling, "Whiskey Peak! We take pride in our hospitality. We have an entire ocean of spirits for your enjoyment. Would you care to join us in celebration and share stories of your adventures? We would be - -" he coughed. "Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah~! Ahem. We would be delighted to hear them."

My jaw dropped. "Spirits? You mean you guys are ghostbusters!? Sugoi!"

Zoro bopped me over the head with his sword. "Baka. He meant booze."

"Oh." I blushed in embarrassment, rubbing my head.

Lucy, Sanji, and Usopp completely ignored the two of us and danced around excitedly. "You bet we would! OUR PLEASURE!"

Nami raised her eyebrow. "Oi, don't you guys think this is a bit strange?" The guys (and girl) in question completely ignored her, making her sigh in exasperation. "They're the Three Stooges!" She held up the Log Pose and pointed to it. "Say, Igarappoi, how long will it take for the Log to adapt to this island?"

The mayor raised his eyebrow and waved his hand dismissively. "Log? Let's not talk about such formal things. Take a well deserved rest from your travels, please!" He walked forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, making her look at him weirdly. "Now, minna! Prepare for a celebration! A song for our adventurous guests!"

* * *

The rest of that day was pretty damn awesome. I couldn't remember anything about the Whiskey Peak Arc at that time, though it was hovering vaguely in the back of my mind, but I didn't let that bother me. Maybe that was stupid, but hey! They were throwing a free party in our favor, without us having to do anything! After a long week of running from Marines, climbing mountains, getting eaten by whales, and genderbending, I deserved a fiesta, sister!

The villagers of Whiskey Peak sure knew how to throw a party. There was a band playing a heroic tune, an eating and a drinking contest, and pretty much everything else you could imagine. Sanji was surrounded by a small harem of girls, Zoro and Nami were downing cup after cup of booze and literally wasting the competition, Lucy was eating so much that she knocked the cooks unconscious, and Usopp and I were recounting our adventures to the villagers. I left out the parts about all the blood from my battles with Fennu and Lady Konton so that the children wouldn't get nightmares.

"You shoulda seen her!" I chortled, thinking about Konton. "She looked young enough, but the moment Lucy and I landed the final blows, she turned into this ugly old hag! I only caught a quick glimpse of it because I fell unconscious, too, but she looked _butt ugly_!"

The children erupted in laughter. "You mean like Ken-chan?" one of the girls asked, motioning to a kid who looked slightly like a nerd. He gave an 'oi!' of protest, but grinned and laughed with the rest of them.

"Now, now, Tsukiko-chan, that's not nice," I reprimanded her, grinning at the closeness of the kids. I'd learned the names of all the kids during my storytelling. At my old school, a comment like that would've been enough to start a small war between the students. It was nice to know that this world's kids were close enough that a little friendly teasing wouldn't make them too angry. Maybe there was hope for the multiverse yet.

A few couches away, Usopp was in the middle of his own exaggeration. "And then I said, 'Even if you _are_ Sea Kings, you ain't gonna lay a finger on _my _nakama!'"

"Oi!" I called over to him, grinning cheerfully. "I was the one who pulled that zebra reject's nose hair and made him sneeze us out of there!"

"Well, that may be true," he admitted, "but when we entered the Calm Belt, even I was shivering... shivering with _excitement_, that is!"

"Captain Usopp-san and fellow kaizokou Diamond-chan!" the men gasped, looking at us with star filled eyes. "You two are so awesome! Can we have your autograph!?"

I smirked. "Don't mind if I do!" I pulled out a pen from nowhere and signed my name on some paper, then handed it to them. Usopp did the same, grinning and laughing like a maniac.

A little boy with dark purple hair tugged on my sleeve. This, I'd learned, was Junta-san. "Oi, oneechan! Were you really a boy a few days ago?"

I nodded. "Believe it!"

"But now you're a girl!?" gasped a white-haired girl named Shiragiku.

I frowned in depression. "H-Hai... I have to wear bras and panties now... my masculinity has been stolen from me and stomped on like a bug..."

The people around me all laughed at my predicament.

Over near the band, Igarappoi chuckled. "Well, this certainly is - - Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah! Ahem. This certainly is a wonderful night! There's nothing better to see than everyone enjoying themselves."

Finally, close to two hours later, the party was finally winding down. I checked my iPod and realized with surprise that it was way past midnight!

Zoro had passed out a few tankards of beer ago, and Nami slammed her mug on the table and promptly fell over, having won the Kanpai Contest. Lucy was finally collapsing from overeating, her belly so full that her shirt was just barely hanging off her. Seeing this, my face flushed deep red and I passed out with a small nosebleed. Oi, can you blame me? Her huge fun bags were almost totally unsheathed for all the world to enjoy!

And so it was that I missed out on fighting the bounty hunters of Whiskey Peak.

* * *

**Ugh, finally done with this chapter. *turns blue* It felt so boring to write until the party... the party was fun to write. Well, sorry for the long wait, minna! Now that we're back in school, I'm gonna revert back to the old posting schedule. You know, a chapter each Saturday. Maybe Friday if I'm lucky, and perhaps one on Sundays, too, and maybe even a surprise chapter during the week. That probably won't happen, though, because I'm gonna be really busy from now on. I've got exams to study for, homework to do, and I'm in the school play (which is _The Music Man _this year. I'm one of the traveling salesmen in it.)**

Diamond: Alright! Whiskey Peak is awesome! I love this town!

Zoro: But they're all bounty hunters...

Lucy: I think I'm experiencing something new... being full.

Nami: *drunkenly* I won... the money... *passes out with belli-shaped eyes*

**Well, hope you liked this chapter! If you like this story so far, please contribute by following and/or favoriting! Also leave a review on what you liked, found funny, didn't like, or what you think I could change in the future! Please note that while popularity is highly appreciated, it is not necessary for me to continue writing. Oh, and don't forget to check out the companion fanfic, Straw Hat Snippets, for more craziness from the _One Piece: Full Blast_ crew!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	10. No 10: Lucy VS Diamond!

**And here it is, folks! The newest update of my not-so-critically-acclaimed novel! In which Diamond can really be an idiot and archaeologists are freezing cold. lol. Well, anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** By 'title' do you mean the nickname that the Marines give them, like 'Straw Hat' Lucy, 'Black Leg' Sanji, etc.? Because I already have one for Damon/Diamond. But for your OC, sure!

**Chapter 10 start!**

* * *

Diamond versus Lucy: Nami Wins!  


The Death of an Ally?

* * *

**Previously on ****OP Full Blast:**

_Finally, close to two hours later, the party was finally winding down. I checked my iPod and realized with surprise that it was way past midnight!_

_Zoro had passed out a few tankards of beer ago, and Nami slammed her mug on the table and promptly fell over, having won the Kanpai Contest. Lucy was finally collapsing from overeating, her belly so full that her shirt was just barely hanging off her. Seeing this, my face flushed deep red and I passed out with a small nosebleed. Oi, can you blame me? Her huge fun bags were almost totally unsheathed for all the world to enjoy!_

_And so it was that I missed out on fighting the bounty hunters of Whiskey Peak._

My eyes fluttered open and I stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. For a second, I had a panicked moment where I couldn't figure anything out. Where were we? What was happening? Then I gasped as memories of the past day flooded through my head.

Yeah, that's right. We defeated Lady Konton around noon, sailed for a couple of hours, reached Whiskey Peak, then partied until we dropped. Speaking of which, my head hurt like a bitch. I made a mental note to never get drunk again.

"Okay, so what's going on now...?" I muttered. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something important was happening, but my hangover was stopping me from thinking properly. I groaned in pain and sent my thoughts out, trying to detect water. I found a river not too far away and stumbled out the door, through the streets of Whiskey Peak, and submerged myself in the inlet we'd taken to this place.

I sighed in relief as my hangover was washed away. My head finally clear, I organized my thoughts. In the original, canon anime, the Straw Hats go straight to Whiskey Peak after disembarking from Reverse Mountain. Then they party like we did, and after that... I face-faulted. Dang it! That's right! Zoro fights the villagers, who turn out to be bounty hunters, and then Luffy fights Zoro because he thinks Zoro was being ungrateful or whatever idiocy runs through the straw hatted moron's mind.

The Swap Island misadventure had already proven that Lucy was more 'heroic' than Luffy. She'd skipped lunch just to give a bad guy payback. Luffy never would've done something like that.

What if Lucy actually killed Zoro now?

I couldn't let that happen. I had to find them and stop their battle, or if need be, battle Lucy myself. I hoped it wouldn't have to come to that, though.

Only problem? I had absolutely no idea where they were.

Then an explosion rocked the town, and I turned around to see a cloud of black smoke billowing up into the air. I blinked. When in doubt, go to where the action's at.

Deciding that it might be quicker to travel along the rooftops, I climbed a ladder to the top of one of the houses and ran as fast as I could before jumping off the edge. A momentary feeling of weightlessness made my stomach drop to the ground, but the strange sensation went away and I landed on the roof of another house, rolling with the landing. I kept my eyes on the cloud of smoke, jumping along the rooftops until I came to the place it was coming from. By this time, only a small bit of smoke was still visible.

I peered over the edge of the building, hoping I wasn't too late.

It was a bit hard to see because of the dark night, but my eyes had adjusted to the blackness enough that I could make out a black guy with weird hair standing casually in the center of the street, next to a small woman with a flowery dress, a yellow helmet-like hat, and one of those umbrella things that Princess Peach has. What were they called... parasols? Yeah, that. They, in turn, were staring at two very familiar figures who were facing each other off. My eyes widened.

An overly fat Lucy and Zoro were there in fighting position, Zoro glaring at our captain with a look that clearly said, _Why did I have to choose such an idiot captain!?_, Lucy's expression unreadable from my vantage point, but an angry aura clearly readable around her.

Had I not made it in time?

As I watched, the ball of rubber jumped up into the air and smashed into the ground just in front of Zoro, throwing a punch strong enough to smash the cliff behind the swordsman. The local Marimo gulped and rolled out of the way of the punch, but Lucy pulled herself out of the cliff and kicked. Our captain attacked again and again, forcing Zoro into one of the buildings. He came out a few seconds later, running out of the way of another stretchy punch. I narrowed my eyes and tensed my muscles, then took a running leap off the side of the building I stood on.

"Tempest Boxing!" I shouted, pulling water from the air and wrapping it around my arms. I landed in between Zoro and Lucy, just in time to stop a punch with my crossed arms.

"Diamond-chan!" Lucy gasped, still looking angry. She retracted her arm with a snap. "What the hell are you doing!? I gotta kill Zoro! He just cut up the villagers after they threw this nice party for us!"

"I know he did," I told her, "and he had a very good reason to. These guys would've captured us and given us to the government if it hadn't been for him. They're our enemies, except for Miss Wednesday and Igarappoi, who we've allied ourselves with."

Lucy glared at me. "What the hell are you saying, Diamond-chan!? No way are they our enemies! Enemies wouldn't give you food!"

"They would if they thought it would gain our trust, thus making us easier to capture," I pointed out, getting in a fighting stance.

"Oh, Diamond!" Zoro said from behind me. "Hold off Lucy for me, will ya? I need to defeat these two Baroque Works agents."

"Sure thing," I told him.

"If you're on Zoro's side," Lucy hissed angrily, "then I'll have to kill you, too!" She charged me, looking more like an oversized bowling ball than a human girl. My eye twitched as I sidestepped a punch, returning with a massive one of my own. She gasped in pain and was thrown down the street, wiping out the Baroque Works agents that had been charging at us in the process.

"That damn baka..." Zoro hissed.

I nodded and clenched my water-covered fists. "Yeah. Tell me about it."

"It looked like your punch hurt her, but she's rubber. How the hell's that possible?"

I examined my hands. "Must be the water covering them. Devil Fruit users are all weak to water."

"Makes sense," he agreed.

Three explosions in rapid succession blew up the building that I had knocked Lucy into. I grunted in surprise and worry, hoping Lucy hadn't been hurt. Even if she was acting like a moron right now, she was still my captain, and over the three, almost four weeks I'd been with this crew, she'd been given a special place in my heart. Just fighting her was one of the single hardest things I've ever done.

The parasol lady... what was her name?... Miss Valentine...? floated up out of the explosion, riding the force due to her Kilo-Kilo Fruit powers. "Now you've made me angry!" she complained. "You shall die now by my Kilo-Kilo power!" She laughed a bitchy laugh. "Prepare yourself! I was able to ride on the explosion because my weight is a mere 1 kilogram!"

"Mr. Bushido!" called Vivi, sounding panicked. "Miss... uh, Miss Diamond! Get out of the way! That woman - -"

"Stay out of this!" Zoro told her.

I nodded and glared down the path. "Yeah, this is our battle. We're just protecting you. Do you want to die or do you want your kingdom to see peaceful times once again?"

She sputtered. "N-N-Nani!? How do you know about Alabasta?"

"Didn't I tell you?" I turned to look behind me and smirked. "I'm a psychic demigod!"

"A... psychic? A psychic demigod?"

Lucy burst out of the building, dragging an unconscious Mr. 5 behind her. Those number agents were really pretty stupid, showing their number in plain sight of everyone. I mean, honestly, if you're gonna be part of a secret criminal organization, wouldn't you want to try to hide that fact as much as possible?

"Ah, good," she muttered, patting her stomach. She was now back to her usual, skinny self. "That exercise burned off all the extra fat I'd gained at the party. Now I can use my full power."

"Mr-Mr. 5!" Vivi yelped. "A Baroque Works Officer Agent defeated so easily..."

I gritted my teeth. If Lucy was using her full power against me, I wouldn't stand a chance as I was. I'd have to use my Sukiru Byo, my Skill Second. I unsheathed Chiwohiku and held it high above my head, putting two fingers in front of my mouth, shouting, "Destroy all enemies, Chiwohiku!" I felt my kami no kosoru change shape in my hand. This time, though, Lucy wasn't distracted by its 'cool powers.'

"Whoa!" Zoro gasped. "It can change shape!"

"Is it a broadsword or a rapier?" Vivi asked, sounding confused.

The duck she was sitting on quacked.

I lowered Chiwohiku, which was now the long rapier I'd used earlier today (actually, I suppose I should say yesterday since it's past midnight), and pointed it straight in front of me, right at Lucy. I gripped it with both hands, remembering that a two-handed attack is twice as powerful as a one-handed attack.

"If you're gonna go full blast," I said, "then I'm gonna have to go all out, too. Flash Step!"

I dashed forward, the world slowing down around me. Meanwhile, Miss Valentine barreled down through the air at Zoro, who merely stepped to the side and made her smash a hole deep into the ground. As she came up, Zoro slammed the flat of his blade into her head, knocking her out cold.

I jumped at Lucy full-speed head on, cutting in the shape of a David's Star. "Kami no Kosoru, David's Star!" I shouted. A faint outline of the Jewish symbol glowed faintly for a moment, then flew at Lucy, who rolled out of the way.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!" she yelled as I landed cat-like against the ruined wall of the building at the end of the street. I gulped and pushed out of the wall, but not soon enough. The attack drove into my stomach with the force of... well... a pistol. I was thrown through the wall, which crumbled around me.

I struggled to my feet, grunting in pain. "Ah, that's gonna sting in the morning," I mumbled. "Flash Step!" I dashed in a random pattern around the street. "Kami no Kosoru..."

"You're slower than that bastard Kuro," Lucy taunted, tensing her muscles. "Gum-Gum..."

"Tsunami Slash!" I jumped into the air and cut down in an overhead strike, a wall of water forming out of the air behind me for extra force.

"Bazooka!" Both of Lucy's arms stretched clear down the street.

SMASH! The two attacks collided against each other with enough power to send a small wave of energy out around us in a circle, leveling a few of the houses along the street as Zoro took out Mr. 5 easily. My sword shook in my grip and Lucy growled angrily.

"Not too bad," my captain said grudgingly.

I smirked. "Same." I leapt back out of the deadlock and skidded to a stop before Flash Stepping behind Lucy. She must've been able to follow me, though, because she reacted with expert timing.

"Lightning Hawk Blast!" I roared, letting go of Chiwohiku with my right hand and starting with my signature move.

Lucy blocked with her forearm, though she winced in pain from the watery punch, and stretched her other arm back. "Gum-Gum Bullet!"

I ducked the blow and recovered, twisting to lash out in a spinning sidekick amplified with water, yelling "Tempest Leg!" Lucy followed up with a Gum-Gum Pistol at the same time. Both attacks found their target, and we were thrown back, shouting in pain. I smashed into a barrel of booze and Lucy went through another wall.

I dried myself and stood up, panting in exhaustion. Using my Sukiru Byo twice in twenty four hours took up a ton of energy, as I discovered while training with the god of war.

My captain also got to her feet, panting in anger.

We charged each other, letting out loud battle cries. I sliced with Chiwohiku and managed to cut a thin line on her cheek, making my eye twitch in hatred for what I was doing to my captain. Lucy kicked me in the stomach. I Flash Stepped away and drew water vapor into my blade, calling, "Tempest Getsuga Tensho!" The wave of sharp liquid sliced through the air at Lucy's neck. She stretched said part of her body backward and downward, then retracted it quickly.

"Gum-Gum Bell!" Her head connected with my forehead, making my cry out. I felt like my own skull was breaking, it hurt so bad.

"Tempest Boxing!" I made the water around my hands swirl faster and I sheathed my kami no kosoru for the moment, leaping into action with a barrage of punches fast enough that it looked like I had multiple arms.

Lucy tensed her muscles again. "Gum-Gum Gatling!" she spat, punching at an equal speed. Our attacks basically canceled each other out, because we were just hitting each others' fists, not the bodies.

I leapt into the air and drew the water from my arms down to my leg, performing multiple front flips. As I came back down, I cried, "Tempest Scythe Foot!" If you want to know what it looked like, I suppose you could compare it to Sanji's Concasser move.

Lucy, however, blocked it with an X-block. Then she jumped backward, back flipping, and kicked upward, stretching her foot so it smashed right into the underside of my jaw, probably breaking my jawbone. I bit my tongue incredibly hard and spat blood as I shot up into the air.

_Dammit,_ I cursed. _Even using my Skill Second, I'm totally getting pummeled here! Nami better come quick!_

As I fell back down, I drew a large cushion of water for me to land on and not kill myself. I rolled off of it and out of the way of a Gum-Gum Axe, then shot back with a Water Shot that smashed into Lucy's stomach. She coughed and was pushed back.

"Gyaaaaaah!" I roared.

Lucy was so angry she looked like a wild animal. "Hooooooooh!"

We started pummeling each other with kicks and punches again, though I was slowing down from the exertion of fighting so hard. A few of Lucy's attacks found their marks, weakening me even more each time. If this kept up, Lucy really _was_ gonna kill me.

Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, who obviously hadn't learned their lesson yet, somehow got back up and charged at us. We simply glared at them and yelled in unison, "STAY OUT OF THIS! YOU'RE IN THE WAY OF OUR FIGHT!" Then we punched them so hard they didn't get back up again and fell to the ground, definitely unconscious this time.

My eye twitched. "Weaklings."

"Who were those guys?" Lucy grunted.

I wiped a trickle of blood away from my eye; one of her punches had opened up a small cut above it. "Agents of Baroque Works, a criminal organization trying to kill Miss Wednesday and Igarappoi."

"Oh. Glad we took 'em out then."

"Now then..." I said, tasting blood, which was somehow both warm and cold at the same time, in my mouth. I hoped my leather jacket wasn't too dirtied up. "Back to the fight!"

She twisted and sneered at me. "YEAH!"

We seized each other up, then jumped into action again. But before we could restart our battle, an exasperated cry of "STOP IT!" and a hard hit to the back of our heads made me black out.

* * *

When I came to, I had been propped up against a wall beside a crate, which Zoro was sitting against. Nami was talking to a desperate-looking Vivi and Lucy was laughing about how we should've told her about the bounty hunters before. The sun was just poking its crown over the horizon, throwing a strange glow of light and dark around the cacti of Whiskey Peak. My head was throbbing again, but this time because of Nami's angry fist. That redheaded navigator could be scary sometimes.

"We _did_ tell you about them," I muttered. "You just didn't listen, as usual."

"Eh?" She blinked and looked at me. "Oh, you're awake!"

"I knew that, dumbass."

Zoro snorted. "You're just weak. Why else would you have let that sea witch knock you out so easily?"

"YOU THREE, URUSAI!" Nami barked, effectively making all of us quieter than... than... well, something really quiet. She turned to Vivi sweetly. "Now, then. That's our offer. We want 1,000,000,000 belli to escort you there safely. You saw how strong these guys are, right? Quite a bargain, don't ya think?"

I choked. "One... one billion belli!? How the hell do you expect her to pay that!? To pay much of anything!? Her country's in turmoil, here!"

"If you don't zip it I'm gonna hit you..." the navigator hissed, glaring at me hard enough to make me cow from continuing.

Vivi nodded, looking a little shocked that I knew about her kingdom, but also worried for said kingdom. "He... er, she's right. That sum is impossible for me to pay. Have the rest of you heard of a country named Alabasta?"

The rest of the Straw Hats present blinked.

"No," Nami admitted.

Vivi looked down at the hay bale she was sitting on and clenched her fists, her body shaking under her green fur coat. She took a deep breath. "It was a great pillar of civilization," she began. "A land of peace. Long ago, that is."

"Long ago?" the local ginger repeated, her voice suddenly much smaller. "...And now?"

I furrowed my brow in concern. Vivi looked so sad, and even though she'd been acting like a bitch these past few days I'd known her, I knew that she was really a nice, caring, thoughtful woman. It hurt me to see a friend, even a future friend, looking so down in the dumps.

"It's a desert kingdom on the verge of civil war. In recent years, a call for revolution has emerged. The citizens began committing acts of insurrection, causing the land to fall into utter chaos. But one day, I heard the name of a secret organization: Baroque Works." The bluenette looked up at us, suddenly fuming in anger at the mere thought of the crime syndicate's name. "I discovered that they were responsible for inciting the rebellion. Aside from this, however, I was unable to procure any further information."

She went on to explain how she managed to find out the leader of Baroque Works, Mr. 0's, real name and cause for inciting the revolution: To seize the Alabastan throne. She wasn't telling us Mr. 0's name because she was worried that he'd come after us if we knew it, which he would, of course.

"I must return to my country and tell my people the truth!" Princess Vivi told us. "I must stop them from joining the insurrection! Otherwise... otherwise..." she trailed off.

I nodded grimly. "Otherwise your country will be his for the taking."

Nami frowned. "A, so desu ka... so that's what's going." She sighed in disappointment. "It finally makes sense now. If you're on the verge of a civil war, you can't pay the 1,000,000,000 belli, can you? Money must be scarce."

My eye twitched. "THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT!?"

"This Nami the sea witch we're talking about here," Zoro pointed out. "Of course it is."

"Good point."

Lucy blinked. "Oi, so who's the mastermind?"

I sighed. "We already explained this, Lucy-chan..."

Vivi absolutely freaked out. "The b-boss's true identity!? No way! I can't tell you that!" she protested quickly, hardly taking a breath. Nami's expression slowly went from disappointment to slightly worried to mini-panic mode. "He would hunt you down if you found out his name!"

"Oh, well, we wouldn't want that!" Nami laughed weakly. "And of course, trying to take over a whole nation... he must be an incredibly strong guy, right?"

Lucy was pouting, clearly upset that she wouldn't be allowed to battle such an opponent.

"Yes, he is," the double crossing Baroque Works agent agreed. "No matter how strong you may be, there's no way you could even hope to touch him! One of the Shichibukai, the Seven Warlords... CROCODILE!"

There was an awkward pause.

Suddenly Nami and Vivi gasped in horror, the redheaded navigator screeching, "YOU JUST TOLD US HIS FREAKING NAME!"

There was a strange, somewhat comical, drum-like sound and then a wail like, "_AAAAOOOOO.__"_ All of us blinked and looked around before the wail came again, and we were able to pinpoint it. We looked at the top of the building, above Nami and Lucy. Sitting there casually was a giant vulture and a weird type of rodent I couldn't place.

They flew off.

Nami cried anime tears and started shaking the hell out of a helpless Vivi, who just croaked apologies the entire time. "WHAT'S WITH THE OTTER AND VULTURE?!" she moaned, face shark like. "ONE OF THE SHICHIBUKAI IS GONNA BE AFTER US NOW!"

Lucy grinned in excitement and looked at us, eyes sparkling. "She said 'Shichibukai!'"

Zoro smirked. "Not bad!"

"WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO US!?"

"I wonder what desert food tastes like..." I mused.

"I bet it's yummy," my captain commented dreamily.

"SORRY WON'T DO US ANY GOOD!" Nami was screeching, still shaking the poor princess. "NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN US MIXED UP IN ALL OF THIS!"

I raised my eyebrow. "But we would've been mixed up in it whether she told us his name or not. After all, we're escorting her, and she knows his name, so he would've automatically put us on his hit list, too."

"URUSAI, YOU!"

I froze, my lips suddenly glued together. "Yes, ma'am."

Nami released Vivi, collapsing to the street in tears and stuffing her face in her hands. "We just made it to the Grand Line and now I'm marked for death by one of the Shichibukai... Why me?"

"We're pretty lucky to get to fight one so soon," Zoro put in.

I grinned and pounded my fists together. "Crocodile won't stand a freakin' chance! You know, it's not surprising Crocodile is trying to take over a kingdom. If I had a name like that, I would be trying to make people loyal to me anyway I could, too."

"Wonder what he's like!" Lucy said.

Nami face-faulted. "WILL YOU THREE SHUT THE HELL UP!?" She stomped off down the street next to the river running through town. "Though it wasn't for long, it was nice knowing you all!"

"Where are you going?"

"They don't know my face yet, so I'm outta here!"

Suddenly the otter from before appeared, scratching something out on a pad of paper with a pencil. It flipped the pad over and showed it to us, bringing out a picture of Nami, me, Lucy, and Zoro. The swordsman in his picture had a kinda stupid look on his face, I looked like I was sleeping in it, and Lucy just kinda looked bored, while the art-Nami was smiling and happy.

Our real-life navigator clapped. "Wow, you're good!"

The vulture and otter flew away again.

"WAIT, NO! NOW I CAN'T EVEN RUN AWAY!?"

I sweatdropped. "And she says _I'm _bipolar."

"Where were you gonna run to, anyway?" Zoro deadpanned.

"I'm so sorry!" Vivi repeated. Was that like her new personal mantra or something?

"That guy's pretty good!" Lucy approved.

The swordsman smirked. "In any case, the four of us have been added to the Baroque Works Death List."

Our captain giggled. "This is so exciting!"

"Let's beat some alligator-reject ass!" I cheered.

Nami collapsed to the ground miserably, a blackish purple aura of depression around her. Vivi tried to make her feel better. "I... I have savings... about 500,000 belli! ...Uh..."

"Do not worry!" said the voice of Igarappoi. No, wait, it was Igaram. Vivi had told us all about how he'd helped her infiltrate Baroque Works and uncover Crocodile's secrets. We all turned. Sure enough, the curly-haired old man was standing a little ways down the street in an oversized version of the light green fur coat and blue swimsuit-thing Vivi was carrying four dummies under his arms. He also had smeared on some red lipstick. My eye twitched. He looked _butt ugly._ "Fear - -" he began, but coughed. "Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah! Ahem. Fear not, for I have a plan!"

"What are those clothes for?" Vivi asked, mystified, as she got up with Lucy and examined Igaram's new attire. Lucy was more awed than confused, though, and seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Nice, ossan!" she laughed, feeling his coat. "You'll fool anyone with that!"

"And just who will he be fooling...?" Zoro asked, his own expression fixed in disgust.

"My God..." Nami swore, still in her depressed mode. "I'm surrounded by bakas."

I hit her over the head. "Don't use the Lord's name in vain!"

"Vivi-sama," Igaram said solemnly, "Baroque Works' information network will soon receive that report. Once they learn that we are the ones who found out the Boss's true identity... you understand what will happen, don't you?"

The princess nodded. "As many as a thousand hunters could soon be coming after us."

Nami face-faulted and turned around, her face horrified. I wouldn't be surprised if she would either start crying or punch one of us in the face.

"That's why I have dressed in the manner of the Princess," the old man agreed. Lucy started poking the dummies childishly. "I will depart with these dummies and travel on a straight course for Alabasta."

My straw hatted idiot - - er, sorry, captain - - blinked. "These are US?"

"Decoys," Zoro corrected helpfully.

I shook my head. "Ya know, if you wanted to disguise yourself as Vivi, you could've actually died your hair blue? And you might want to give one of those dummies a straw hat, and give another three swords and a green head."

"Oi," the Marimo complained. "You wanna go!?"

Igaram nodded, ignoring us. "Once they have began pursuing me, Vivi-sama and yourselves can depart safely for Alabasta. They do not yet know that there are others in your crew, so they will be looking for four people, not seven."

"NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!" Nami roared. "Who said we would take the princess anywhere!? We still don't have a contract!"

"She's a friend," I said through gritted teeth. "A contract isn't necessary."

Lucy raised her eyebrows. "Take the princess? What's that about?"

I facepalmed. "We've just been talking about it for the past five or ten or whatever minutes, baka!"

"Weren't you listening to them?" Zoro asked.

"This is Lucy we're talking about. Clearly she wasn't."

"True, true." The swordsman got to his feet and stretched. "This ossan here wants us to take her - -" he pointed to Vivi "- - home."

She nodded sagely. "Ah, so that's what they're on about! Okay."

...And cue the demoness. "CROCODILE'S GONNA TRY AND KILL US, YA KNOW!"

"He'll try to kill us whether we take Vivi or not," I pointed out.

Lucy looked at Igaram. "This Crocodile, is he really that strong?"

"He is currently one of the Shichibukai," he reminded her. "Though as a government-sanctioned kaizokou, he is no longer on their wanted list, his old bounty was 80,000,000 belli."

I whistled appreciatively. "I knew that already, but... not bad!"

"80 MILLION!?" our navigator cried. "That's FOUR times Arlong's! TURN HIM DOWN!"

"Will you accept?"

"Sure. Sounds like fun."

Nami looked like she would never be able to relax again.

Igaram sighed in relief and grinned. "You have my utmost gratitude."

* * *

We walked to the shore on the far side of the cacti, which we found out were actually huge hills with gravestones of all the people the bounty hunters of Whiskey Peak had killed and/or captured. Vivi looked a little disturbed at that, and I felt a bit sick in my stomach, but we passed through the path without much excitement, thank goodness. Otherwise Nami never would've let us hear the end of it.

We reached the end of the island and Igaram stepped into a simple ship that didn't seem like much more than a fishing boat.

"Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah!" he coughed. "Ahem! Well then, I, Vivi, shall be leaving here now."

Lucy giggled. "Shishishi! Ossan, you're just like her!"

Zoro and I sweatdropped. "In what way?"

He held out his hand, careful not to overturn the small boat. "Now, Princess, please hand me the Eternal Pose." Vivi started digging around in her pocket and brought out what looked like a Log Pose, except an almost hour-glass-like case surrounding it.

Nami was mystified. "Eternal Pose?"

"I'll try to explain," Igaram sighed, probably thinking about Lucy's simple naivety. "It is an eternally preserved version of a Log Pose. A Log Pose guides you from one island to the next, but an Eternal Pose never forgets the magnetic location of the single island it is set to. It shall 'eternally' point towards that island, hence its name. And this one points the way to Alabasta, our home island."

Lucy nodded. "A, so desu ka. So it's a mystery compass!"

I facepalmed. "No, you baka! He just explained it! Instead of pointing to multiple islands, an Eternal Pose always points to the same island."

"Oh."

Vivi looked at her friend seriously. "With this, you can get to Alabasta."

He closed his eyes. "Vivi-sama, after making a few stops, please hurry to Alabasta. I have never done it myself, but I am certain that you can follow the Log two or three times to get there." He looked at each of us in turn. We were all grinning, or in Zoro's case, smirking. "And with that, I leave the princess in your care."

"Sure!" agreed Lucy.

"Igaram..." murmured the ex-Baroque Works agent. She bit her lip worriedly.

"I know the journey will be dangerous," he assured her, smiling, "but I'll be fine. Please be careful along the way."

"Iga - -"Vivi trailed off and shook her head. Then she smiled and clasped hands with the old man, nodding. "You, too."

As Igaram set sail, there was a warm feeling in the air that had nothing to do with the rising sun chasing away the cool night breeze. Igaram's boat cut through the water as easily as butter through a knife, and he inched closer and closer to the horizon, grinning back at us the whole way. The light wind ruffled my leather jacket and now-long hair.

"Well, he's gone," Lucy remarked, arms folded behind her straw hat. "He was a cool ossan, wasn't he?"

Vivi smiled at her warmly. It was hard to imagine her as the bitchy girl we'd traveled here with. When she was truly happy, she looked like a totally different person. "Hai. We can count on him."

I gave her a thumbs-up, feeling very cool indeed. "You can count on us, too, Vivi-chan! Believe it!"

* * *

In a totally different universe, a blonde ninja with whisker-like markings on his face suddenly sneezed. He blinked. "I think someone just stole my catchphrase..." he whined, pouting.

* * *

The good moment was cut short, however, by a sudden flourish of a thousand hands. Our eyes widened in horror as... as... as Igaram's ship freakin' BLEW UP OUTTA NOWHERE!

The poor desert princess was beside herself with concern. "Iga... IGARAM!"

Lucy gritted her teeth and turned around, starting to run away. "He... HE WAS A GOOD MAN!"

"Dammit!" I cursed. "They caught up to us so quickly?!" I'd forgotten the little fact that Robin shows up and blows up Igaram until just now. Then I remembered something else. He hadn't actually died, whether the archaeologist had planned for it to happen that way or not.

Still... that was in the original plot. Who knew what my being here could change?

"Shit!" Nami swore.

Zoro turned to her. "Nami! The Log!"

She checked it and gave a thumbs-up, though she was still glaring out at the sea as if she could kill the perpetrator of Igaram's 'death' with her gaze. "It's already set. We can escape."

"Grab her! Get to the ship!"

"Vivi! Vivi!"

I didn't see much else, because I was already in full sprint for the Going Merry, but I did hear the swordsman order Lucy and I to grab Sanji and Usopp, who were still snoozing away in the party room like the morons they were. We nodded and tore off.

When we found them, Lucy wrapped her arms around Sanji's feet and I groped down for the nearest handhold on Usopp that I could find - - which happened to be his abnormally large nose. We crashed out of the room and took off for the ship again, waking them up.

"WE'RE LEAVING!" Lucy announced loudly.

The sniper and cook bounced roughly behind us.

"WHAH DE HELL AWE YOU DOING, DIAMOND-CHAN!?" Usopp screeched. "DAT'S MY DOSE! YOU'RE GONNA BWEAK IT!"

Finally, we found the ship. Zoro had already pulled up the anchor and was getting ready to lower the sails. "Oi, Zoro!" Lucy called. "We got 'em!"

"Get on!" he told us. "We're ready to go!"

I gritted my teeth as I thought about the supposedly dead cross-dresser. "Dammit! We'd better leave right this moment or else we're gonna end up like Igaram!"

We scurried up the ladder, dragging Usopp and Sanji with us, since they had fallen unconscious from the bumpy ride somewhere along the way, much to Lucy's confusion. As we boarded the Merry, Vivi and Nami came tearing out of one of the streets of Whiskey Peak. The desert princess looked distraught and Nami was trying to make her see sense.

"We can't look for him!" she told the bluenette. "We have to go now!"

Vivi bit her lip again. "But I can't leave him here all alone!"

"Oi, what's wrong?" Zoro called down to them.

"She says that her spot-billed duck is missing! Apparently it should've come when she whistled, but we can't find it!"

I heard a quack somewhere to my left and blinked. A huge duck was sitting on the upper deck near the figurehead, looking very annoyed. Zoro rubbed his chin.

"Ya mean that duck? He was onboard before I got here."

"Carue!"

"Smart duck," I said, a little impressed.

Both Nami and Vivi tic-pulsed and went shark-like. "YOU WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME?!" they exploded.

The desert princess started climbing up the ladder. "If we sail down this river, we'll be able to go through the island," she informed us. "We'll be able to get on course faster." She lifted herself up onto the ship, Nami right behind her.

Lucy and I unfurled the sails.

"YOSHA!" my captain declared. "LET'S GO!"

The sails caught wind and the Merry started moving downstream. Everyone took their respectful positions, except for Usopp and Sanji, who were still knocked out.

"Oi," Zoro said, walking down the steps from the bathroom to the lower deck.

Vivi blinked and looked at him. "Mr. Bushido!"

"Just how many hunters are we talking about?" he asked. "How many guys might we have to fight?"

She and the duck frowned thoughtfully. "I don't know," Vivi admitted. "Baroque Works has about two thousand employees, but most of them have about the same power as the bounty hunters you fought last night. Oh, and I've heard that there are more villages like Whiskey Peak in this area."

"Hontou, 2,000 people?" Nami gasped.

I smirked. "If you think that's a lot, just wait until we face an army of 100,000 fishmen!"

"100,000 FISHMEN!?"

Usopp's eyes fluttered open and he looked about in confusion. "O-Oi... we're on the ship... and it's moving...?"

The navigator glared at him dangerously. "You're finally up?"

"MATTE!" Sanji complained, adamant in his lady-chasing endeavors. "Let us stay another night!" Usopp nodded quickly and the cook continued. "This town was so much fun and the girls were SO CUTE!"

"WHEN WILL WE FIND ANOTHER AWESOME PLACE LIKE THIS!?" Usopp demanded.

I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "Ah, I'd say... never."

"MY POINT EXACTLY!"

"LET'S TAKE IT SLOW, DAMMIT! WE'RE KAIZOKOU!"

"IT'S NOT EVEN MORNING YET!"

I sweatdropped. "The sun's rising, baka. It's morning."

Zoro facepalmed as the two continued with their complaining. "Those bakas still don't know what's going on..."

-BAM! BAM! BONG! BAM!-

"They understand now!" reported Nami sweetly, her fist a bit red.

"That was quick..." the swordsman muttered.

"Yeah, well, I skipped the boring details."

I shivered. "Remind me never to get on Nami's bad side."

After about fifteen minutes, the two beat-up morons recovered themselves and went to work, though they still grumbled about not getting to stay. Sanji went in to the kitchen and made us a quick, simple pancake-and-sausage breakfast, which we didn't even bother eating in the dining room, and we all hang around on the upper deck. Finally, as the fog returned to the island, we were able to make out the end of the river in front of us.

Vivi sighed in relief. "We're about to leave the island. We're safe."

"Sugoi!" Lucy cheered. "Fog!"

I sweatdropped at her antics. "It's just fog! There's nothing cool about it, except it's temperature!"

"It'll be morning soon," Nami mused.

"Like I've said before, it's morning already... nobody listens to me around here..."

"Well," someone said, so quietly I almost couldn't catch them, "it's a good thing you've gotten away from your pursuers!"

The navigator nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"Watch out for the shallows so you don't strike the hull."

"You can count on me!" There was an awkward silence, then we all looked at Lucy. "Eh..." Nami said. "Was that you, Lucy?"

"Ne?"

We looked at the back of the lower deck. A woman dressed all in purple and wearing an equally purple dress sat on a barrel. She had flowing black hair, almost a dark blue color, and half of her face was shadowed by her hat. The woman had a rather large bust, even bigger than Lucy's and (jeez, this is awkward saying this) my own. She wasn't wearing any lipstick. Her fingers drummed against her tan, almost brown, cheek. "Nice ship," she approved.

Nami freaked out.

"Wh-Who's that?!" Zoro demanded.

"N-Nico Robin!" Vivi gasped in recognition.

My eyes lit up. "SUGOI! Nico Robin, the woman who has escaped the clutches of the World Government for almost thirty years! Unjustly nicknamed the 'Demon Child' because the government hates her and given an 89,000,000 belli bounty for something she didn't do! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!?"

Nami hit me over the head hard. "BAKA! DON'T ASK FOR THE AUTOGRAPHS OF STOWAWAYS!"

Lucy blinked. "Eh? Is she a good guy?"

Robin chuckled, amused. "You want my autograph? I must say, I have met many people in my lifetime, but none have said that. Regardless... no, you may not."

I immediately sunk to the deck, a cloud of depression hanging over me. "This sucks..."

She tilted her head and smirked. "I saw Mr. 8 not too long ago, Miss Wednesday."

Vivi's face was ashen. "You killed Igaram!"

"Even if you did," Lucy yelled, pointing at her, "why the hell are you on my ship? Who are you?"

"What are you doing HERE!?" Vivi demanded. "MISS ALL SUNDAY!"

"Miss All Sunday?" Nami repeated. "Which number's partner is it this time?"

"Crocodile's..." I said helpfully, still in my state of utter depression.

"EH!? THE BOSS'S PARTNER!?"

"So she's a bad guy," Lucy decided.

Vivi nodded. "She is the only one allowed to know the Boss's true identity and live. We shadowed her in order to find out who he really was."

"Or to be more precise," Robin corrected her, "I _allowed_ you to shadow me."

Lucy tilted her head. "So she _is_ a good guy?"

Vivi clenched her fists and glared up at the purple-clad archaeologist. "I knew that! And then the one who informed the Boss of his exposed identity... was none other than YOU, wasn't it!?"

"Correct."

"So she's a bad guy," my captain grumbled, confused.

"Just drop it," I muttered, banging my head on the floor in depression. "You're confusing the hell outta the situation..." I pretty much stopped paying attention there, wallowing in my self pity, but I was drawn back into the conversation when I heard the sound of glass breaking and Lucy shouting.

"OI!" she was shouting. "YOU DON'T DECIDE THE ROUTE FOR THIS SHIP! ONLY _I _DO!"

"I see," chuckled Robin. "Too bad, then."

"Damn you..." Nami growled, face twitching at Lucy, who was on the ground for some reason, sitting up and straightening her hat.

"She blew up the chikuwa ossan," the black haired pirate explained. "I hate her."

The purple-clothed intruder just smiled and started walking to the port side of the Merry, saying, "Well, I don't hate those with high spirit. May we meet again under more acceptable circumstances."

"NO!"

Robin nodded and jumped off the ship. "Let's go, Banchi."

I blinked, forgetting my depression. "Banchi? Who's that?" We ran over to look off the side of the Merry, and what we saw made our jaws drop. An enormous turtle was swimming there, with a purple and yellow shell and something like a built-in cockpit. Robin landed lightly in the cockpit thing, a canvas umbrella-like thing rising up over her. She sat down in the white seat of the cockpit and the turtle swam away.

"W-What's that!?" Zoro gasped.

Usopp freaked. "Is that thing a Sea King!? Matte, no, it's... WHOA! A TURTLE!"

Lucy was impressed. "That is one HUGE turtle!"

"WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS CRAZY SEA SO FREAKIN' HUGE!?" I complained, tic-pulsing.

Vivi collapsed to the deck. "That... that woman! I can never understand what she's thinking!"

"Then trying to understand is a waste of time," Nami told her.

"Yeah," Zoro agreed, motioning at Lucy, who was still peering out at the enormous turtle. "We've got people like that on the ship already." His snide comment went unnoticed by our idiotic captain.

Usopp pouted. "Oi, can someone please explain this to me? I have absolutely no idea what's going on!"

"Oh~! Miss Wednesday, are you going to be one of our nakama now?" Sanji cooed in delight.

"Oi, will someone please explain... NANI!? WE HAVE AN OSTRICH NOW!?" Carue quaked loudly in response. "What the hell's going on?"

"SO SLOW!" Nami roared, smacking the long nosed moron again. She was wearing a white shirt with blue sleeves now, and I had changed out of the... revealing... horrid pink shirt that the navigator had forced me into, opting for a much more comfortable sports bra and dark green shirt with the number 18 on it, stating my age. I still wore my usual leather jacket, jeans, and sneakers, though I'd had to get a One Piece brand because my others didn't fit my much smaller feet.

We explained everything to Sanji and Usopp, who both frowned, though for entirely different reasons.

"I see," the love cook mused. "I have done a terrible thing to you. But fear no more, for your knight in shining armor has awakened. I shall make it my duty to ensure your safety." He winked at Nami and I. "Jealous, Nami-chan and Diamond-chan?"

"Not in the slightest," we deadpanned.

"Damn...!" gasped Usopp. "I'm glad I was asleep!"

Vivi bit her lip, a habit she needed to stop, and looked down at the deck. "I've been wondering... is it really okay for me to be on aboard your ship? I don't want to be a burden."

I grinned and folded my hands under my... ugh... breasts. "What are saying? Of course it is!"

Nami, however, was unmoved. She stepped forward and started poking a surprised Vivi in the forehead. "Urusai!" she commanded. "You're the one who got us marked for death by 2,000 people! If you didn't want to be a burden, you shouldn't have done that in the first place!"

"So cold," I said.

"Gomendasai..." muttered Vivi, not wanting to bring on the Demoness of the Going Merry.

"Right, Lucy?" Nami called back to our female captain, who was sitting cross-legged on the railing of the ship beside Usopp. Both froze, a look of fear crossing their faces.

Lucy gulped and pumped her fists in the air. "OH! I'm hungry!"

"But we ate an hour ago..." I pointed out, sweatdropping.

Vivi sweatdropped, too. "I don't think she cares."

Zoro, who had been reclining against railing casually, shrugged. "Well, in any case, we know our next destination now: Little Garden."

"Is it really okay to go there?" Usopp fretted.

I grinned. "If you don't mind a dash of Jurassic Park, yup!"

"What's Jurassic Park?"

"Not telling~!"

"BASTARD!"

"Technically, it's _bitch_ now... since I'm a girl and all..."

"Who cares if it's okay?" Lucy asked dismissively, grinning and pointing out to sea. "Let's go, crew!"

"YOSHA!" we all shouted, though the others were uncertain and Usopp's was a bit late, so it sounded like an echo. Whether we liked it or not, the dawn of a brand new adventure was upon us. And this new, big adventure would decide the fate of a kingdom and its citizens...

* * *

**Ugh... finally DONE! I swear this was the LONGEST CHAPTER EVER! It was over 8,000 words, man! EIGHT THOUSAND! My fingers are aching just remembering it. It's only that long since I kinda combined a bit of two episodes, but STILL! Phew!**

Diamond: I didn't get Robin's autograph... *sniffle*

Nami: Baka! She's a bad guy! WHY DO YOU WANT THE AUTOGRAPH OF A BAD GUY?

Lucy: Adventure, adventure, we're gonna have an adventure~!

Usopp: I think I have I-can't-go-to-the-next-island disease...

Zoro: Baka.

Vivi: We have to get to Alabasta or else thousands of people could die!

Sanji: Ah~! Vivi-chan is so brave and beautiful~!

**Well, okay. Time for all of this crap. Follow or favorite if you liked the story so far and haven't done either of those yet! Also, please leave a review saying what you liked, didn't like, or think I could change in the future! Please note that although popularity is appreciated, it IS NOT NECESSARY! 'Kay, I'm outta here. I'm sick and I've gotta go to bed.  
**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	11. No 11: The Journey to Little Garden!

**Well, folks, here we are once again! I don't think I really have to state that this is the newest update, because if you're reading this as I post 'em... then you already know that. ._. Well, anyway, next week is midterm exam week, *shudder* plus I'm sick, so I'll be posting these chapters a lot slower than before. Sorry about that. Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** I'll be introducing a new enemy, so stay tuned!

**Silverscale: **Muahahaha! You'll just have to wait and see, though I actually do have something planned for it that I kind of took from Ranma 1/2. Same concept, just different way of switching, and of course no magic springs.

**Otaku-san32: **Ah, that'll be great! Just you wait for it! It's gonna be hilarious! XD

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **lol! Yeah, that's kind of Robin's personality, though she'll turn around later in the series. And he won't ask Crocodile for his autograph, because he's kind of a bastard, though he'll definitely ask Ace for his autograph. Though I guess it's not actually ACE he'll be asking... *cue evil laughter*

**Chapter 11 start!**

* * *

The Journey to Little Garden!

Fishing With Ducks and MORE Genderbending!?

* * *

**Previously on ****OP Full Blast:**

_"Who cares if it's okay?" Lucy asked dismissively, grinning and pointing out to sea. "Let's go, crew!"_

_"YOSHA!" we all shouted, though the others were uncertain and Usopp's was a bit late, so it sounded like an echo. Whether we liked it or not, the dawn of a brand new adventure was upon us. And this new, big adventure would decide the fate of a kingdom and its citizens..._

Two days into our trip, and the weather was going nutso again. Not the insane storm kind of crazy, luckily, but the wind kept randomly stopping and restarting like a broken engine, forcing us to drop anchor until it blew again. Nami was more annoyed than Zoro whenever Sanji does his 'love-cook' thing.

"We've lost the wind AGAIN!" she complained after the sails went slack for the nth time. "If this keeps up, just getting to Little Garden will take forever! This stupid ocean's gonna drive me insane!"

"That's a short trip where you're concerned," I mumbled.

Cue the demoness. "WHAT WAS THAT, DIAMOND-CHAN!?" She sighed and rubbed her temples. "Anyway, we won't be moving for a while."

Vivi frowned. "We're starting to run out of time to go."

"Try not to worry so much!" Nami told her, smiling again and patting the desert princess reassuringly. "We're going to get to Alabasta as quickly as we can. The wind'll pick up soon!"

I nodded, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my leather jacket. "You can count on us, Vivi-chan!" I agreed, grinning widely. "Don't you worry about a thing! Just relax and let us handle the grunt work. You've done some amazing things for just a peaceful princess, but now it's time to take a little break from carrying the sky, eh?"

The three of us were standing on the upper part of the ship, in the walking area between a railing and the kitchen, bathrooms, and boy's cabins, and below Nami's precious mikan trees. The navigator had learned her lesson. Since leaving Whiskey Peak, she'd watched the Log Pose with the stamina of an Olympic athlete. Vivi had been worrying her ass off. I'd been in the lookout post... well, looking out, as was my main job. On the other hand, the rest of the Straw Hats... well, what happened next can give you a pretty good idea of what they'd been doing for the past two days.

"Alright, minna!" Lucy announced, sliding into view on the lower deck and throwing her arms up in the air. "It's time to fish!"

Carue stuck his wings up as well and gave two quacks of agreement.

"Hey guys, do any of you know where the bait went?" Sanji asked with a bored look on his face as he held up a mostly-empty bucket. One little worm was still wiggling inside it.

"Huh? Bait?" asked my idiot... er, I mean, captain. "Oh, you mean the stuff in there? I ate it."

I felt myself go green just at the thought and Usopp, who had been lazing around aimlessly moments before, sweatdropped.

"You ATE it!?" he shrilled, his jaw dropping. "Ew! Those were _bugs!_"

As we watched, Lucy groped around in the bucket with her rubbery fingers until she found the last worm, then grabbed it and popped it in her mouth like it was a piece of candy. "Is that right? They were goooood."

The sniper's eyes nearly popped out of his head and my face twisted in disgust.

"Oh, yuck!" he cried. "That's _gross!_"

"Oi, how are we supposed to fish now that you've scarfed down all our bait?" I shouted with a tic-pulse as Sanji swooned at her 'bravery' and 'limitless horizons.'

"Let's try using this," she suggested, bringing out a ball or something brown that I don't even want to identify.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS AND I DON'T WANNA KNOW," I shot back, "BUT YOU _CAN'T FISH WITH THAT!_"

"Those are some picky fish. Well, why don't we just use him?" she pointed at Carue, the oversized pet duck that Vivi owned.

"Hey, that's not too bad of an idea. He's too big to be cute, so he doesn't really have a purpose, does he?"

"D-Diamond-chan!" Vivi protested in panic while Carue was busy going crazy, trying to get away from Sanji and Lucy, who had started chasing the king-sized animal around the mainmast in endless circles. Unfortunately for them, the chef accidentally stepped on a napping Marimo's face, and he woke up in rage.

"Ow!" he groaned, glaring at the idiots. "Dammit! Knock it off, you bakas!"

Nami sweatdropped and hung her head in defeat. "I guess it's too much to ask for YOU GUYS TO BE WORRIED!" She slammed the railing for emphasis, effectively stopping Carue, Lucy, and Sanji in their tracks.

Lucy was confused. "What should we be worried about?"

"Ah~! NAMI-CHWAN is so beautiful when she's angry~!" Sanji glamorized.

"Oh, come on," Nami groaned, facepalming.

Vivi blinked. "It's odd. For a man with a 30,000,000 belli bounty, your captain doesn't seem to be a particularly terrifying pirate. And you all act almost like a family."

I shrugged. "We _are_ nakama, after all."

The local redhead grinned and put her hands on her hips. "Yeah. I know that it's really tough to imagine, but she's actually beaten some of the really big names out there! Like 'Saw Nose' Arlong, the fishman who was determined to rule the East Blue with an iron fist. And Don Krieg, kaizokou commodore. Also, although nobody else ever knew about it except us, Captain Kuro, who was notorious for his cunning plans and speed."

"Don't forget Captain Buggy the Clown," I added, shuddering at the thought of the disgusting creatures. "He ate the Chop-Chop Fruit, which allowed him to split apart his body into multiple sections, which he can then control at will. Like how Lucy's immune to blunt attacks, he's immune to things like swords and scythes."

Nami blinked. "Oh, yeah! And he showed up at Loguetown just before we reached Reverse Mountain, trying to execute Lucy! He was really pissed off. He almost got away with it, too, but at the last second, Damon (this was before he was cursed) summoned a huge hurricane and saved her."

The ex-Baroque Works agent gulped. "She can summon a _hurricane_? She's _that _powerful?"

"Clouds are scary," I whimpered, turning blue while Vivi and Nami sweatdropped.

Zoro must've actually been listening to me, because he decided to speak up, too. "You guys left one out. He took down this Marine bastard brandishing a huge axe instead of a hand."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," Nami nodded. "Axe-Hand Morgan."

Vivi's eyebrows shot up. "Axe-Hand Morgan? I've heard of him. Wasn't he the Marine captain feared throughout the East Blue for his cruel supremacy?" We nodded and she turned to Lucy in surprise. "You defeated someone as strong as him?"

Lucy, who was trying to wrestle Carue into submission, blinked and looked up at us. "Ah, the axe-hand ossan? Oh yeah, I wonder what happened to the girl I was with."

Both me and Vivi were confused. "Girl?" we said in unison. I hadn't remembered there being any girls in the first few episodes other than the restaurant owner and her little daughter. Well, and 'Iron Club' Alvida, but I doubt she really qualifies as a girl.

In the captain's musings and Sanji and Usopp's surprise, Carue took his chance, broke free of their grasp, and fled to safety.

"I wonder if she's still at that Marine base," Lucy said.

"Who's 'that girl?'" I asked, mystified.

"Oi, there's something that Diamond-chan _doesn't_ know!" Nami gasped in mock-horror. "It must be the end of the world!"

Usopp and Zoro snickered while my eye twitched at her.

She blinked. "Don't ya know? You're a psychic, aren't you? Her name's Codie. She's my friend! She's kinda chubby and has pink hair, and she helped me free Zoro from that Marine base!" The swordsman in question didn't seem too amused at the thought that he'd been captured, then saved by two girls.

I stared at her. "Uh... you don't mean Koby by any chance, do you?"

"Koby? I don't know anyone named Koby. Ha! Sounds like a wimp."

Okay... so that meant Lucy wasn't the only one in this universe who'd been swapped genders. Koby was now Codie, a girl. I wondered if that would lead to a Helmeppo/Codie pairing down the road, then shuddered at the thought. Scratch that, that would just be _weird_.

The wind picked up soon after that, ending our little conversation. I went back up to the lookout post, Sanji manned the steering rudder, I assumed Lucy went back to her special spot on the figurehead, Zoro fell asleep again, and Usopp played around, as usual. He dug out a spyglass from somewhere, leaned out over the Merry, and peered through it to the horizon.

"Ah! There they are!" he laughed. "The millions of people at Little Garden, all welcoming I, Captain Usopp-sama! You can smell the fragrant breeze of young girls blowing their wild kisses!" He lowered his voice to make it more 'manly,' and narrated, "_Honestly, I know I'm a man among men but you can't fall in love with me, girl! Not my fault if you get burned."_

I smirked at him from the crow's nest. "It's not that they can't, they just wouldn't. Besides, don't you already have a thing for Kaya, that girl who lives in the mansion at Syrup Village?"

He blushed furiously. "I do _not!_ How do you know about her, anyway?"

"Psychic, remember?"

"Oh, right. I always forget about that..."

"Thanks for that insightful statement, Captain Obvious."

"Oi! He's not the captain, _I'm _the captain!" shouted Lucy.

I sweatdropped. "That's not what we're talking about, Lucy-chan."

"Are you guys stupid?" Zoro asked, munching on an apple, having momentarily woken up to get the red fruit.

My eye twitched. "That's coming from _you_?"

"Who're you calling 'stupid?'" Usopp shrilled, pounding on the fo'c'sle angrily. That's sailor speak for 'forecastle,' by the way.

Inside the kitchen, since she was studying a map Vivi was drawing for her, Nami's voice shouted out at us. "Urusai, already! Can't you guys just be a _little_ quieter? We're trying to work here!"

Usopp grumbled something about navigators being bossier than captains and poked his head up and glared through the porthole window at her. Then suddenly his expression changed. I asked him what was going on in there, and when he replied that Sanji was making a snack, I grinned and hurried down the main mast. I was getting better at climbing the thing, only falling once or twice a day now. Luckily, I always managed to make a cushion of water to catch me when I fall, so I don't get hurt.

Usopp and I burst into the kitchen in time to see the elegantly dressed cook place something that looked fruity on the table in front of Nami and Vivi, as well as a cup of tea. I had no idea what it was, but it smelled absolutely divine. Its aroma was sweet and summery, a perfect match for the warm day.

"Today's dessert is a dish of tarte aux poires," Sanji was telling them. "Literally, that means 'tart with pairs.' Please enjoy."

We all gasped in delight. "Wow! Looks delicious!"

The love cook's eyes immediately turned to hearts. "Ah, Diamond-chan~! I was just about to call you for dessert~!" Suddenly he glared at Usopp, making me sweatdrop. He pointed to the counter. "Yours is over there."

Usopp clapped in anticipation and ran to his dessert.

Sanji blinked. "Oi, where's Lucy-chan?"

"Isn't she at the figurehead?" I asked.

"No, I asked him to bring up some water so I could take a shower," Nami corrected me. "She should be at the water-drawing machine."

"Okay, I'll keep her dessert warm until she's done."

"So _that's_ why she's been so quiet," I mused, sitting at the table and taking a bite of the tarte aux poires. My eyes lit up. It wasn't delicious, it was divine! It had just the right amount of natural sweetness blended in with thick syrup or something like that, and unlike most dessert, it was warm enough that the pears simply melted on your tongue. It tasted like heaven in a cup!

But of course, just after I said Lucy was being quiet, there was the sound of a small explosion. I nearly choked on my tarte aux poires in surprise, though I really should've expected it.

I coughed up the stuff that went down the wrong pipe, then wiped my mouth. "Maybe not," I said weakly.

"Are you okay?" Vivi asked me worriedly.

"I'm fine!" I assured her. "It's gonna take more than that to kill me."

"I guess so," she said uncertainly.

Lucy's voice came from outside, sounding kind of impressed. "Damn, that scared me! That thing's really dangerous?"

"Nani?" Nami asked as we rushed out of the kitchen and onto the walkway above the deck. "What happened?" As she asked that, Usopp leaned far over the railing and looked at the smoking underside of the staircase, as well as Lucy's pouting face. He screamed in anger.

"Agh! Lucy!" he yelled, tic-pulsing. "How the hell did you break that!?"

I peered over the railing, too. The door to the cupboard under the stairs, which housed the water-drawing machine, was wide open and revealing the broken contraption. The water drawer was like a bicycle, and we had to get someone else to peddle it before hand if we wanted to get water for something big like a shower or something.

My eye-twitched. "Oi, Lucy-chan, that's important, ya know!"

Usopp jumped down to the lower deck and landed lightly.

The straw hatted girl shrugged. "I was just trying to get the water to go faster."

The sniper checked out the wreckage, rummaging through the many pieces of the broken machine. "Oi, oi," he reported, "the belt's burned through." He held up the charred chain for us all to see while Nami, expression shadowed behind her carrot-top, jumped to the lower deck, too.

"Yeah. Weird, ain't it?" Lucy agreed.

Our navigator belted her hard on the back of her crown, making her rubbery neck stretch down and smack against the wooden floor. "IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID STRENGTH! HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN HAVE BOOBS WHEN YOU'VE GOT SO MUCH MUSCLE!?" She huffed. "Honestly."

I sweatdropped. "Oi, calm down already. Take a chill pill. We can fix it. Sheesh."

"Yeah, I can fix it," Usopp grumbled, closing the cupboard door behind him as he exited the small room. "But we'll have to stop and get some spare parts. Well, until then, Diamond-chan, we'll rely on you for water."

I gave a thumbs-up. "Sure thing!"

Nami glared at Lucy. "Either way, I won't be asking _this_ girl for any favors."

"How can you control water, anyway?" Vivi asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do you have a Devil Fruit or something? It's a bit strange that a fruit that takes away your ability to swim could give you power over the ocean."

"It's not a Devil Fruit," Nami told her. "She's a demigod."

"A _demigod_!? But I thought they were just myths!"

I pouted. "Well, I'm real enough, aren't I? But yeah, I'm a demigod son... er, I suppose it's daughter now... of Aeso, the god of the sea. The whole reason I can still fight and have balance in this form is because he stopped time momentarily for me in my mind, then had the god of war train me and the goddess of beauty teach me how to be a girl."

"A, so desu ka. That's pretty amazing."

Lucy giggled. "And that's not all! He's also a psychic and he's got this awesome sword that can transform! He's great!"

My face was a tomato as I looked down at her. "O-Oi, Lucy-chan! I'm not... I'm not all that cool..."

Nami face-faulted. "Wait a minute, we won't have to use Diamond. Usopp, we have a spare water drawing machine. Could you please use that to get me some water?"

He sighed. "Yeah, sure..." The local long nose blinked and tic-pulsed. "Oi, dammit, Nami! Why don't you do it _yourself_?"

Lucy sniffed, grinned, and turned to the kitchen as Nami walked back up to us. "Eh? I smell food!"

I sweatdropped. "It took you _this_ long...? So slow."

"Ah~! Lucy-chan!" cooed Sanji. "I was just about to tell you about the tarte aux poires I made for you~!" But everyone ignored him.

Usopp turned shark-like and sent the raven-haired girl a nasty look. "...And YOU have no sense of responsibility whatsoever!"

"It's Lucy, did you really expect her to?"

"I said I was sorry... losing one really isn't that big of a deal..."

"That's what I'm talking about! NO responsibility!"

"Telling her about it won't change anything, Usopp..."

"Just shut up, you three!" Nami sighed.

The call of a seagull turned everyone's attentions to the top of the Going Merry, where a newspaper bird, called a News Coo in this world, was perched on the rigging. It dropped a paper and accepted five 100 belli coins from Nami, who groveled about expensive prices. Then she sent an irritated Usopp to set up the spare water-drawing machine and went inside the kitchen with Vivi, Lucy and I to finish the dessert Sanji had made us and read the paper. Zoro sighed and decided to eat his dessert, too, grumbling about shit-cooks making shit-food.

"Why does the morning newspaper always coming during afternoon break?" the navigator complained.

"It can't be helped," Vivi soothed her with a shrug and a small smile. She was feeding Carue whatever giant ducks eat. "We're sailing the Grand Line, remember? We should be thankful to get any information at all."

I nodded and took another bite of my now-cooled tarte aux poires. "It must be incredibly hard to record any up-to-date information, what with the hard-to-access islands and unnavigable seas."

Nami sighed and turned a page. "You two're right about that." Something must have caught her eye, though, because as she was scanning the page for something interesting, her eyes widened and she glanced worriedly at Vivi.

"Did you find an interesting article?" the desert princess asked her, conveniently missing the look of sudden panic on the navigator's face.

"E-Eh?" Nami laughed weakly and turned the page quickly. "Oh, no, not at all! Nothing really."

Vivi blinked, shrugged, and went back to feeding Carue. "Oh."

I sweatdropped. "That was the worst acting I've ever seen.." I whispered to Zoro, who just nodded in agreement.

Lucy chewed her tarte aux poires and glanced at the newspaper. She almost turned away, but suddenly her eyes widened and a smile spread across her face. She hit the table and yelled, "Oi!"

The local ginger jumped. "N-Nani!?"

Our captain pointed to a spot on the page. "This! Zoro, Diamond, check it out!"

We glanced at each other with raised eyebrows, shrugged, and crowded around Nami to look at the article in question.

"It's just a picture of some Marines," Nami said, mystified.

Lucy giggled. "Yeah, but the girl in that picture isn't just anybody!"

I stared at the picture. It showed a scene that very much resembled the current of Reverse Mountain that washed out into the Grand Line. In it, some Marine guy in a captain's coat, wearing something that looked like a huge dog's head, was standing on a Marine ship, laughing at two kids who were terrified and hugging each other for dear life. One of them was a girl who had short, pink hair and glasses. She looked like she may've been chubby at one time, but was starting to loose the extra blubber. The other was a kid with blonde hair and a weird w-shaped chin.

"_That's_ Codie?" I asked, tapping the rendition of the girl. I raised my eyebrow and added quietly, "Huh. She looks just like Koby except... well, female." Then again, that really shouldn't have been all that surprising. Although Lucy was very much a girl, she still closely resembled the original Luffy.

Zoro raised his eyebrow. "It _is_ Codie!"

Lucy grinned and nodded, her black hair falling in front of her face. "Yup!"

"Codie?" Nami said, blinking and looking at her. "The friend you were sailing with before?"

"Yeah! Well, what does it say?"

"Let's see... 'Vice Admiral Garp's battleship has arrived at the Marine Headquarters on Marineford, in the Grand Line. This photograph was taken during their descent from Reverse Mountain. Vice Admiral Garp displayed his expected confident demeanor, but a few of the younger Marines seemed genuinely terrified.' That's it."

I grinned and laughed. "I don't blame 'em! That was one freakin' huge rock!"

The straw hatted girl couldn't have possibly made a wider grin. "Eh? So Codie made it to the Grand Line!"

Zoro nodded, smirking. "And to the Grand Line's Marines Headquarters as well. She's doing pretty good so far."

"Of course! 'Cuz she's going to be a Mayor in the Marines someday!"

"Not Mayor, you dork. A Commissioned Officer. A Marine officer."

"Right, right, that's what I meant."

"How did they make it so fast?" I wondered. "We only had time to stop at one island!"

Vivi smiled. "I don't know for sure, but I've heard that the personal battleships of the upper class Marines like Garp have special ships that allow them to go much faster than normal boats. I think they're called steam ships."

I nodded. "Oh, right. They run on coal and steam. That's what we had back home."

Everyone looked at me in surprise.

"Really? Your home must've been cool..." Lucy said.

"Just where did you come from anyway?" Sanji asked. "You never did tell us. Whenever we've asked about your past, you've always given us an answer, but never actually said where you were from. You just vaguely said something about an island somewhere."

I gulped and looked at the floor. What would they say if I told them the truth? That I'm not from this world at all? That in the world I'm from, everyone thinks they're just fictional characters on a piece of paper? How would they feel if they knew that?

"Do you really have to know?" I said quietly.

Nami blinked. "What? It can't be that bad."

Lucy grinned. "Come on, just tell us! If you had a bad past, wouldn't it be better just to share it with all of us instead of having to carry it by yourself? You're our nakama! We'd stand by you no matter what!"

I glanced up at them. They were all smiling, even Carue, which shouldn't have been possible since he's a duck.

Well, alright.

I guess that I would've had to tell them sometime, anyway...

"The truth is, I'm not from the East Blue," I muttered. "I'm not from the North Blue, South Blue, or West Blue either."

Lucy tilted her head. "Are you from the Grand Line, then?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not from the Grand Line, either." I could tell that this confused them, because they all exchanged looks of mystification. "See... I'm from a different world."

There was a pregnant pause. Then...

"EH!?"

I frowned. "I know it's hard to believe, but it's the truth. I'm not from this world. I'm not even from this universe. The place I come from is called Earth, and there are no kaizokou. There haven't been any for a really long time. There were seven continents and only five oceans, and there weren't any monsters or anything. All the adventures had already been done. Everyone knew everything about it, except the future, and they're trying to build a time machine so that they can find out about that, too."

Lucy pouted. "Your world sounds boring."

"HOW CAN YOU TAKE THIS SO EASILY!?" the others shouted at her.

I grinned weakly and shrugged. "Yeah, well, it was kinda boring, to be honest. Until I met my dad and he threw me into this world, I'd always felt like I didn't belong. I was always the weird kid. In my world, everybody had to go to school until they were, like, 18 or something, and although that created the chance to meet a lot of different people, it was also bad. I got on the bad side of one of the school bullies in fifth grade, and he scared everyone into hating me as a result."

Vivi furrowed her brow. "How terrible! That sounds like a horrible place to live."

"Well, it wasn't so bad. Up until I was sixteen, I had my mother. But then she died, killed by my step-sister, who was into a lot of drugs and alcohol and stuff. For the first year and a half, they blamed it on me, since I ran away from home on the day of the crime, and I evaded them ever since, choosing a life on the streets over a life in an orphanage, where I'd be hated even more. I met a guy named Cracked-Up Kane who also did drugs, but unlike my step-sister, was a really cool and nice guy. He had a black belt in karate, tae kwon do, and jujitsu, just to name a few. He taught me everything I know about martial arts. He's the one who gave me this leather jacket, which is why it's my treasure."

"Cracked-Up Kane, eh?" Lucy giggled. "Sounds funny! I wanna meet him!"

I hit her over the head. "Baka! You can't! He's in a different world! Weren't you even listening to me?" Then I looked at the other Straw Hats carefully. They looked surprised, but other than that, I couldn't really read their emotions.

Suddenly Sanji's eyes turned to hearts. "Ah~! I always thought you had an otherworldly beauty, Diamond-chan!"

Nami's eyes lit up, too. "Is there a ton of money there?"

"I feel bad for you," Vivi murmured. "You had a tough life, too."

Zoro snorted. "Is that all? I'm going back to sleep."

Usopp, who I hadn't even known had come in, said, "Your world sounds much less scarier than this freaky place."

"It sounds boring~!" Lucy corrected him. "Who'd wanna live there? Here is much more fun!"

I blinked. "Matte! Don't you guys think I'm a freak or something?"

They exchanged confused looks. "Why? Is there a reason we should've?"

There was another pause, then I grinned. "Nah, I guess not. Hey, you're right! I feel like there's a huge weight off my shoulders now!"

Lucy giggled and burst out of the kitchen, running to the goat figurehead. She yelled, "Yosha! Full speed to Little Garden!"

We Straw Hats and our guest smiled at each other. "Yosh!" we cheered, Carue quacking in agreement.

* * *

**Another chapter done. Hope you enjoyed the little character building moment there! Had to put that in some time and figured that was as good a place as any. And, yes! We finally find out the importance of Damon/Diamond's step-sister, who was mentioned briefly in the Swap Island Arc, as well as the identity of June Diamond Digger's killer! (That's his/her mom by the way.)  
**

Diamond: The antics of the Straw Hat crew...

Lucy: Oi, Cracked-Up Kane sounds like Shanks!

Diamond: Yeah... he does, doesn't he?

Jason: Oi, if you want to compare people to Shanks, compare him with Gildarts! He's a total Shanks rip-off!

Diamond: Yeah, that's true... Oi! What the hell are you doing here!? You're supposed to be back home, taking care of Cracked-Up Kane, you bastard!

Jason: *sweatdrops* Oi, oi, oi... calm down...

Nami: And you say _I_ have anger management issues.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you wanna know who Jason is, either reread the Loguetown Arc (I forgot which chapter I put the explanation in) or check out the third chapter of my companion fanfiction to this series, Straw Hat Snippets! Follow or favorite if you like this story so far and haven't done so already, and leave a review on what you liked, what you didn't, what you found funny, a running gag you might have for Damon/Diamond, or stuff like that! Popularity is definitely appreciated, but is not necessary.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	12. No 12: Danger Lurking on the Horizon!

**Yosha! Let's go to a new island all ready, Full Blasters! Get ready for more craziness in the crew! Because it's the start of the Little Garden Arc! Alright, here are my replies to reviews on the last chapter:**

**gamelover41592:** lol yup! Diamond conveniently leaves out the most important part. XD

**Aritsune: **Yeah, of course you can! All I did was Google Search "Fem!Luffy" and go to "Images." After a bit of scrolling, I found it.

**Otaku-san32: **Heh, thanks! I thought that'd give everybody a run for their money. dB And you can be assured. No _way_ am I doing a Codie x Helmeppo pairing. That'd just be too crazy, even for _this_ fanfic. *shudders*

**KonekoNoRenkinjustsushi: **Sheesh, is your name long. Anyway, arigatou! I'm glad you think so. The genderbending gag DOES make it more original (and crazy), doesn't it? XD Heh, heh, heh, I like Damon/Diamond a lot, too. He/She's one of my favorite characters I've created. Plus, there's so many things I can do with his/her past to make this story more interesting! And thanks for the correction. I just mostly go by ear... and Google Search. lol. Spelling mistakes _are_ really annoying. Luckily, I've always had a good enough grasp on Language Arts that that's never been a problem for me. Might help that I've been starting (and stopping) stories for fun for years. As for the Ace or Anne thing... well, you'll just have to wait to find out. *laughs evilly*

**guisniperman: **Well, it wasn't really hateful, because as Diamond said, none of those things were her fault, plus, Diamond was basically treating her as a hero. And even if it did hurt Robin, she has a good enough poker face that it wouldn't have shown.

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Ha! This is why I'm the craziest author on fanfiction! But if Ace IS gonna be a girl (and I'm not telling anything on here right now), you're right, his female name would definitely have to be Anne. I remember Rouge telling Garp to name him "Ace" if he was a boy and "Anne" if he was a girl. I actually was just re-watching the Whitebeard War Arc the other day, which got me even _more_ pumped for this story. XD

**Chapter 12 start!**

* * *

Danger Lurking on the Horizon!  


Arriving at Little Garden!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I blinked. "Matte! Don't you guys think I'm a freak or something?"_

_They exchanged confused looks. "Why? Is there a reason we should've?"_

_There was another pause, then I grinned. "Nah, I guess not. Hey, you're right! I feel like there's a huge weight off my shoulders now!"_

_Lucy giggled and burst out of the kitchen, running to the goat figurehead. She yelled, "Yosha! Full speed to Little Garden!"_

_We Straw Hats and our guest smiled at each other. "Yosh!" we cheered, Carue quacking in agreement._

The next morning, I must've woken up on the wrong side of the bed (er, make that crow's nest) or something, because I was NOT feeling good at all.

I sat down to breakfast in a depressed mood. I was dressed in my usual leather jacket, eye patch, and jeans, but today I had on a shirt that had a purple-yellow scratchy design on it and hugged my figure a little, which was fine by Sanji but not by me. "Dammit," I muttered. "This _sucks_... I wish I'd just turn back into a guy already." I took a bite of today's breakfast - - pancakes made with nutmeg, with some blueberries dotting it here and there - - dejectedly. It didn't help that Lucy was stealing everybody's food, as per usual.

Sanji blinked. "What are you talking about, Diamond-chan?"

Usopp facepalmed. "Don't even bother explaining it to that moron... he's just too much of a baka."

Zoro stepped into the kitchen and plopped down at the table, yawning. He started stuffing his face with pancakes, probably wanting to get back to sleep as soon as possible. I tic-pulsed. Lazy-ass Marimo bastard.

"Oi, Marimo!" I grumbled, my eye twitching. "Fight me!"

Everyone gave me weird looks.

"Why do you want to fight me?" he asked in confusion, a little bit of pancake still hanging out of his mouth.

My eye twitched some more. "I dunno! I just do! Fight me!"

"...Whatever." The idiot swordsman went back to eating.

Nami looked at me worriedly. "Are you feeling alright, Diamond-chan?"

"Not really," I admitted, staring down. "I don't really know. Something's just really bugging me and I REALLY NEED TO FREAKIN' FIGHT SOMEONE RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW!" I pouted and took an angry bite of blueberry-nutmeg pancake.

Usopp gave a frightened squeak and hid behind Carue. Vivi sweatdropped. Sanji swooned and Lucy just sat there laughing like a complete idiot, which of course she was.

After breakfast was over, Lucy and Usopp washed the dishes with the dirty rags, which earned the sniper an angry kick from Sanji, though he just told Lucy lovingly that she didn't have to do any work, to which she readily agreed. Zoro and I started our fight, though the green-haired swordsman was more than annoyed at the fact that he hadn't been allowed his precious nap time. Honestly, what was he? A kindergartener?

The fight was just a practice one and only lasted about five minutes, but it made me feel a lot better. By the time action started up again, I was back to my usual self and keeping lookout. Lucy was sitting cross-legged on the railing of the upper deck, which was an unusual spot for her. Vivi and Zoro were also there, the desert princess leaning back against the railing and the swordsman attempting to actually get some sleep.

"I wonder if it'll snow," I heard Lucy muse.

Zoro snorted. "How the hell can it snow? It has to be 80 degrees out here."

I glared down at him with a tic-pulse. "Yeah, well, while _you_ were sleeping during our little _trip_ to Swap Island, the _rest_ of us experienced the Grand Line's weather firsthand! One moment it was just like this, and the next, the Merry was covered in five inches of SNOW! Not that _you'd_ know, because YOU WERE SLEEPING!"

He sweatdropped. "You're beginning to sound like the Sea Witch now."

"Eh? Did you say something, Zoro?" the ginger-haired navigator in question said in a falsely sweet tone from somewhere else on the ship. The local Marimo wisely shut up.

Lucy laughed us off and grinned at Vivi. "Ne, it'll snow again, won't it?"

The bluenette shrugged. "Well, it's not as if it'll never snow again, but that first stretch of ocean after Reverse Mountain is unique. The seven magnetic fields emanating from Reverse Mountain affect everything in the area." She frowned and looked at the horizon. "Nevertheless, we must stay on our guard. It's quite rare to have such a violent trip as that first one, but this sea is still more difficult to navigate than any other in the world."

"I'd like to see Nami navigate the Bermuda Triangle," I laughed. "Now _that_ would be some real skill!"

Our straw hatted captain blinked up at me. "Nani? What's the Berma-thingy?"

"The Bermuda Triangle," I explained, "is a triangular stretch of ocean in my world located just off the southeast coast of the continent my home was on. It's a mysterious stretch of ocean that has left scientists and sailors baffled. Nobody has been able to make it out of there alive, even with the much more advanced technology we have there than you do here. I guess you can say it's the Grand Line of my world, though nobody knows what's in it. Some theories say it's a top secret government base. Others say it's a hotspot for aliens. Still others say it's a monster nest."

"Sugoi!" cried Lucy. "And you said your world was boring!"

"Well, it is."

"Oh."

"Oi, you louts!" Sanji called from the kitchen, coming out with a platter of teal-colored iced drinks. He smirked. "How about a round of my Special Drink?"

Carue dashed down the stairs from the back of the ship, and Usopp, Lucy, Zoro and I grinned at each other before following suit. The drink was really good. I couldn't say for sure what exactly was in it, but it was nice and cold, a great contrast to the warm day. Though to be honest, the day wasn't all that hot at all. I mean, there I was in a leather jacket and jeans, and it was supposedly 80 degrees, and I wasn't even breaking a sweat.

"Ne, Usopp, make some fishing gear for us!" Lucy ordered, her straw hanging out of her mouth.

Zoro grinned. "Fishing gear? Great idea!"

Usopp nodded. "Yosha! I'll make some really artistic lures!"

"You may be a wimp and a liar," I told him, grinning, "but you sure are artsy! But, aren't you guys forgetting something? We don't have any bait because _some_ _people_ - -" I glared at Lucy pointedly, who pouted at me "- - ate it all."

"Ne, that's right," the sniper grumbled. "I almost forgot."

"Ah, Diamond-chan~! You're so beautiful when you're angry!"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM YOU ANYMORE!" I roared, punching the love cook in the face, though that was about as pointless as trying to outrun a buffalo.

Carue was attempting to put his straw in his drink in vain. Sanji, luckily, forgot about me and turned his attention on Duckzilla, correcting the animal's drinking process. Once his straw had been successfully placed in his cup, Carue gave a quack of accomplishment (though he hadn't really done anything) and started sipping up Sanji's Special Drink faster than Usian Bolt could run a race.

"You like that, eh?" the cook said, swapping out the now-empty glass for a refill. The huge duck inhaled that one, too, and barely stopped to take a breath as more and more were placed in reach of his bill. "Tasty, ain't it?"

"Whoa, look at him go!" I gasped.

"Suge!" giggled Lucy.

"What's the difference between 'suge' and 'sugoi?'" I wondered.

Usopp shrugged, staring at Carue in shocked amusement. "Dunno, but he must be really thirsty."

Zoro raised an eyebrow and had a somewhat impressed look on his face.

We grinned at Duckzilla as he downed drink after drink, goading him on and laughing. I wondered how many he could drink. Just as I was thinking this, Carue's eyes turned swirly and he collapsed backwards, his feet sticking up in the air as Sanji's Special Drink guzzled out of his bill like a mini fountain. I burst into laughter at the sight, though by the tone of her shout, Vivi was not amused.

"Baka Carue!" teased Usopp, doubling up on the deck.

My neck tingled all of a sudden, signaling something disturbing the sea at the starboard side. I told the guys about this and we all immediately ran to the right edge of the ship. A medium-sized bottle-nosed dolphin, sleek and gray, was leaping out of the ocean a little ways away. I broke out in a big smile. What an amazing sight! The dolphin's skin was shiny and it threw sparkling water into the air, creating a rainbow over the ocean.

I laughed. "Sugoi! A dolphin!"

Nami giggled in delight. "Aw, it's kawaii!" That means cute, for all of those without built in Google Translates.

It dived back down beneath the waves, and there was a few minutes of silence. Then the dolphin leaped again, this time on a path perpendicular to the Going Merry. As it got closer, our good spirits slowly changed to horror. At this distance, the dolphin obviously wasn't medium-sized at all! In fact, it was at least three times as large as the Merry!

Usopp let out a strangled scream of terror and turned blue. My jaw dropped to the deck in shock. Lucy gasped in awe and Nami started shouting orders. We complied to her dictations as a huge wave was thrown up as a result of its landing.

"Why is everything on this ocean so freakin' big?" I shouted.

"Stop complaining and secure the sails!" Nami snapped.

We leapt to action, turning the ship in the same direction the wave was rising in. I tried calming the sea, but it was too rowdy and I was still not powerful enough. The wave picked up our boat and, yelling in varied emotions, we were carried with it for miles until it finally crested. The ride down was so bumpy I was tossed around the deck, getting bruised all over and barely managing to stay on board, but somehow I managed it.

"Okay, roll call!" Nami announced. "Lucy?"

"Here?" she reported happily.

"Usopp?"

"Hai!"

"Diamond-chan?"

"Right here."

"Sanji-kun?"

"Present, my darling Nami-swan~!"

"Zoro?"

*Snoooooooooooooooore*

"Vivi?"

"I'm still here."

"Carue?"

The duck quacked its presence.

Lucy, who was standing by the main mast, turned to the navigator. "Oi, Nami! How's our course?"

"Hold on, give me a minute to check." The navigator took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself after that crazy wave, and then looked at the Log Pose, which was attached to her wrist as always. She grinned and said, "Turn us hard to port!"

"Aye-aye!"

Just a few minutes later, I was back in the crow's nest, scanning the horizon through a spyglass. Suddenly I caught sight of something and grinned. "Oi, minna! Land ho! Island dead ahead!" It was shrouded in mist, but I could make out trees. Lots of 'em. The temperature was rising, too, even hotter than the 80 degrees it already was at, though it still didn't bother me.

"Did you have to say 'dead?'" Usopp moaned.

"Is it Little Garden?" Lucy asked, racing to the figurehead and peering forward. "Is it? Is it!?"

Nami checked the Log Pose and gave a thumbs up. "The needle's pointing to it, so I'd say that's a yes! That island is our next destination!"

As we got closer, the fog lifted, allowing us to see more of the landscape. There were two huge, gray rocks (or strangely shaped mountains) that were covered in moss and two brown-colored mountains with flat tops, which could've been either plateaus or volcanoes. Seeing as how I'd watched the arc before, I knew they were volcanoes, which was kinda cool. I'd never seen a volcano in real life before.

"So that's it!" our captain said, grinning. "The second island of the Grand Line!"

I nodded. "On our path, yep! Little Garden, eh..."

* * *

**Elsewhere on the Grand Line, about 15 miles away. A nameless island.  
**

The town was quiet and peaceful. For a criminal like her, too peaceful. As the woman eyed the villagers, she thought of ways she could liven things up around here. Maybe releasing a bull into the town hall? Maybe stealing that precious jewel they were so proud of?

"I know what you're thinking," her partner, a man who called himself Mr. 6, told her. "Don't do it. We're trying to keep a _low_ profile, here. The Boss demoted us because we got too cocky, remember? Those Marines almost caught us and it was all your fault!"

"Urusai!" she barked. If looks could kill, the smoothly dressed criminal would be deader than a doorknob. "It was most certainly not! _You_ were the one who insisted on stopping at that takoyaki stand."

He grunted, adjusting his black suit. "Pheh. Takoyaki is heaven on a plate. Not that you'd understand. Anyway, you've been staring at that piece of paper for two days now. What's it say?"

"It's a notification from the boss," she reported. "Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine have been defeated, but we're _still_ not getting a promotion."

"Eh?" His eye twitched. "Why not? Who defeated those bakas? We'll just defeat them to prove our worth."

The woman glanced at the paper, then smirked. "Apparently it was that new rookie kaizoku, Straw Hat Lucy, and her crew. Straw Hat has a bounty of thirty million. And by the drawings Mr. 13 and Miss Friday gave us, it would appear as though a certain Digger D. Damon is with them. Though he looks remarkably more feminine."

Mr. 6's eyes widened. "What was that, Miss Holy Saturday? Did you say _Damon_? Wasn't he your..."

"Urusai!"

"Gomen." At least the moron had the decency to apologize.

She clenched her fists, which were shaking in anger. How had Damon managed to find a way into this world? Had he come via the Rift? No, he was too much of an idiot. So that meant he had to have had help... perhaps by _that_ god. He must've come to take revenge on her, or perhaps to stop the pair from achieving their true purpose.

She made up her mind. "I'm going by myself." Mr. 6 shot her a look of surprise, which she scoffed at. "Honestly, you baka! I have unfinished business to attend to with him. _Personal_ business."

He narrowed his green eyes. "Ah, yes. June, wasn't it?"

Any bystander would've thought she was an insane person... which, of course, she most undoubtedly was. "Yes. The look of horror on her face as her blood seeped onto her bed... I want to see it on him."

* * *

I sneezed and wiped my nose. Huh. Someone must've been talking about me.

Lucy examined the island, which we were nearly upon. "So this is Little Garden!" she said.

Zoro was unamused. "What the hell do they mean by little?" he grumbled, scowling and raising an eyebrow. I had to admit, it was pretty much the exact opposite of its name. All the trees on Little Garden were so huge, they towered over us. I had to crane my neck back to see the tops, and we were still a good ways out from shore.

"Again," I complained, "why the hell is everything on this stupid ocean SO FREAKIN' BIG?"

"This place is nowhere near as cute as it sounds," Nami agreed.

Usopp backed up, raising his hands protectively. "This is like, unexplored territory!" he said, sweating nervously. "An untamed jungle!"

"Only untamed by human standards," I pointed out. "I'm sure the local wildlife's mastered it just fine."

Vivi looked up seriously. "We have to be careful. I'm still concerned about what Miss All Sunday said."

I huffed. "Oh, give it a rest, princess. We said we'd get you home no matter what, didn't we?"

Usopp was freaking out now. "Eh!? Do you think she meant there's gonna be monsters here?!"

"Maybe," Lucy said bluntly.

"NANI!? Let's just go to the next island without stopping here!"

"Baka," Nami said, hitting him over the head. "Honestly, do any of you pay attention at all? Even if there _are_ monsters here, we have to stay here until the Log Pose resets!"

"That, and it's about time we stocked up on some provisions," Sanji added. "We didn't get a chance to get anything at the last town."

Zoro pointed to a spot on the coastline of Little Garden. "I see a river mouth up ahead!"

"I'd say you did a good job, Marimo," I muttered sarcastically, "but the river's on the _other_ side of the ship. Dumbass."

"WHAT WAS THAT!?'

Everyone ignored our squabbling, leaning out over the railing to see the river for themselves. It cut through the jungle in a slow current. Once Nami had ended the brimming fight between Zoro and I (her fist was smoking afterwards - - no surprise there), she had us sail into the river mouth.

As we entered the river, Lucy giggled. "I wonder if there's a yakiniku restaurant here~!" she sang.

"What the hell would one be doing here?" Usopp deadpanned.

She looked at Sanji. "But didn't you just say we needed provisions?"

"Just because we said that doesn't mean a restaurant will randomly appear, baka," I admonished her with an amused snort. "And anyway, ya get supplies at shops and stands, not restaurants."

"Hontou?"

"Hai."

"Landing is going to be dangerous," Nami noted, scanning the edge of the river. She frowned and pointed. "I mean, look at those plants! Those aren't in any botany book I've ever read." It was true. The plants were strange and I couldn't place a name on them. They looked like they came from a whole different age... which, of course, they did.

"You read botany books?" I said. "No wonder you're so mad all the time!"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO SARCASTIC LATELY!?"

"PMS?" Zoro suggested.

I glared at him. "I may be a girl, but I'm a guy! No way could I get a period!"

"That made no sense at all..."

A few loud and ugly cries rose up from the jungle, making me jump and Nami scream. Sanji swooned and cooed something about us being cute when we were afraid, which earned him two punches me.

The local ginger looked behind the stupid love cook, who was sitting on the railing. A bird was flying above him, descending. "What is _that_?" Nami gasped.

"Don't worry," he reassured her after taking a quick glance at it and turning back to us. "It's just a little old bird. And this is just your normal old jungle. Nothing to worry about."

My eyes widened. "A little old bird that could eat you whole and think you were a snack!"

He blinked and turned, just in time to see the green-plumed giant parrot snatch at him with its claws. He only barely rolled across the deck, missing it by the blonde hair on the back of his head. Sanji popped back up and glared at it, tic-pulsing. "WHAT THE HELL, YOU SHITTY BIRD!?"

Lucy blinked and looked at the retreating... thing. Now that I got a better look at it, it wasn't a parrot at all. It was some weird cross between a chicken and a lizard, more on the chicken side, and only had parrot wings. Its plumage was bright green and red in color, and its beak and talons looked razor sharp.

"A lizard?" the straw hatted girl wondered. "I wonder how it tastes."

"Can't be a lizard," I told her. "Lizards don't fly. But what the hell is it?"

_BOOM._

"That sounded like a volcano erupting!" Usopp shrilled.

I rolled my eyes, though the sudden rumbling explosion had secretly scared me, too. Not that I'd admit it. "Well, considering we _did_ see volcanoes on our way here, that's not altogether surprising, isn't it?"

Nami's eyes were wide with terror. "Is that the kind of sound you'd hear in a NORMAL jungle!?"

We didn't have much time to answer her, though, because at that second, yellow eyes flashed on the edge of the treeline. And out stepped a tiger, or lion, or something like that. I always got those two mixed up... in any case, that in itself wouldn't have been much of a shocker (this was a jungle, after all), but that was leaving out the fact that it was HUGE. Like everything else we'd seen so far, it had to have taken steroids or something, because it was at least the size of the Going Merry. And speaking of the Merry, the tiger/lion was stalking the ship along the coastline, eying us hungrily.

I gulped. Not good.

The huge beast roared at us, showing off the fangs that had replaced its teeth.

"A tiger!?" gasped Nami. Oh, so that was what it was. Nice to know what's gonna eat me.

The long nosed sniper's eyes grew as large as dinner plates. "It's freakin' huge!"

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious," I gulped, my voice small.

"Oi, I'm the captain! Not Usopp!" Lucy said, pouting at me, seemingly unaffected by the massive tiger that wanted to make us its lunch. Zoro and Sanji just glanced at it in boredom, making me gawk at their passiveness.

Suddenly the tiger randomly spurted blood and screeched, thrashing about before just falling on its side, covered in its own blood. Nami, Usopp, and I both shouted in fright, wondering what the hell could've killed that thing so suddenly and yet not have been seen by us.

"Nani?" Nami demanded, horrified. "What happened to it?" She looked at me as though I knew the answer... which for once, I didn't. "What could've killed the king of the jungle!? This is not normal! This is most definitely not normal!"

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts._ There was nothing to fear here,_ I told myself. _I beat those huge hellhounds on Conomi Island. I can beat these things, too, and if I can't, well, we've got the Monster Trio with us._ I actually managed to make myself feel a little better.

Usopp nodded and declared, "Well then, it's decided! We are NOT stopping on this island!"

"We'll just sit on the ship and quietly wait for the Log Pose to record the magnetic field," the navigator agreed, sounding scared out of her mind. "Then we get out of here as fast as possible. I mean, we do have to get to Alabasta as soon as possible, right?"

* * *

We managed to find a clear stretch of land and dropped anchor near the edge of the river. The flag stopped waving and sank down. We rolled up the now-useless sails.

Lucy was beside herself with excitement, giggling like a maniac. "Sanji, bento!" she ordered. That means lunchbox.

The cook, who had just lit another cigarette (I wish he'd just stop smoking already, it made me sick!), blinked. "Bento?"

"Yeah, to recharge my power!" she turned away from the island to give us an impossibly wide grin. "A TON of meat and NO vegetables! A kaizoku bento! I smell an adventure!"

Nami was unsympathetic. "Now just a moment, you!" she snapped, sliding in between the two. "Just where do you think _you're_ going?"

Sparkles lit up on Lucy's face and she clapped her hands together excitedly. "On an adventure! Shishishi! Wanna come? Adventure! Adventure!"

The poor redhead cried anime tears. Usopp's jaw dropped at her.

"Sanji, bento!" our captain repeated.

"Coming right up, Lucy-chan!" he cooed.

I grinned and shrugged, now over my fears of the jungle, which I shouldn't have had in the first place. It was kinda stupid of me. I mean, honestly, my emotions had been all over the place today! What the hell was wrong with me? I remembered Zoro saying 'PMS' and my eye twitched. In any case, I turned to Sanji and said, "Oi, ero-cook! Might as well get me one, too."

"You can count on me, Diamond-chan!" he declared. "Gimme a minute."

The two wimps stared at me in shock. I shrugged at them. "Nani? I might as well go. I've been bored out of my mind anyway."

Lucy giggled at me and wrapped her rubbery hands around my feminine body in a stretchy hug, making me blush a deep maroon. "Yay! We're going on another adventure together, Diamond-chan!" she cheered.

My eye twitched in embarrassment. "H-H-Hai. Now can you p-please let go?"

Vivi grinned. "Ne, is it okay if I go with you guys, too?"

"Hai, come on!" Lucy accepted. "Let's go!"

This was too much for Nami. "Don't tell me _you're_ going along with this, too!?" she gasped in disbelief as Lucy continued her incredibly stupid dance.

The desert princess looked at her apologetically. "Well, if I stay here, I'll just get depressed," she explained. "I might as well relax while we wait for our Log to reset."

"Don't!" the navigator advised her. "Lucy does this all the time and Diamond-chan's just freakishly strong, but it's far too dangerous for you!"

"It'll be alright! Carue will be with me."

The duck face-faulted and looked at her in horror.

Nami sweatdropped. "He's so surprised he can't speak."

"He can't speak anyway," I laughed. "He's a duck!"

Sanji slid out of the kitchen, holding up boxes in different colored cloths: Red for Lucy, black for me (I assumed because of the color of my jacket), and blue for Vivi. "Here are my special Love Bentos!" he announced.

We took them gratefully, though my eye twitched at the 'Love' part.

"Can you make some of your Special Drink for Carue, too?" Vivi asked.

"Of course!"

Once everything was put in a backpack carried by Lucy, except for Carue's Special Drink, which the duck wore in a mini barrel with a long straw strapped to his neck, we all leapt off the Merry and onto the shore of Little Garden. I grinned as I landed. I was gonna get to see dinosaurs IN REAL LIFE! How many people would ever get the chance to see this back home? None! This was really amazing!

Vivi boarded her duck. "Okay, we're off!" she said, and together, we took off into the jungle, eager to see what would await us in its dark depths.

Little did I know that a ghost from my past was coming back to haunt me... One that I'd previously thought to be long gone. One that was supposed to be locked away. One that hated me to my bones.

* * *

**Dun dun DUUUUUN! So who the hell is Miss Holy Saturday and what's her beef with Diamond? And yes, I know that the original partner of Mr. 6 had a different name, but for the sake of originality, there ya go. More things on Diamond's past shall come to light in this arc.**

Diamond: Jeez, I am NOT PMSing! Baka Zoro!

Zoro: Oi, oi, oi.

Lucy: Adventure, adventure, we're going on an adventure~!

Vivi: Yes, it should be fun! I wonder what we'll see!

Diamond: Ever watched Jurassic Park? No? Well, watch it and you'll know what we'll see.

Nami: Everyone on this ship's insane...

**Well, I hope you liked this chapter! If you like the story so far and haven't done so yet, follow and/or favorite, please! Also leave a review on what you liked, didn't, found funny, think I could change in the future, et cetera! Thank you to all the people who have been doing that so far! Oh, and please note that although popularity is not necessary, it is also greatly appreciated! Arigatou and good bye for now!  
**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	13. No 13: A Land Before Time!

**Happy Martin Luther King Junior Day, everybody! Here's a gift of another chapter from the rising fanfiction star! Yeah, that wasn't very humble. Sue me. Anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Otaku-san32:** Yuppers! I was going to anyway. I mean, it is still the same day and all. Hm... meeting Ace and PMS? That would be INSANE. XD I'll probably do that. Arigatou!

**DarkLord98: **Yeah, he's coming. That's part of the original plot, after all. Well... if it's M-rated, I don't really wanna use it, because I'm keeping this a strictly T-rated series. If you can make 'em T-rated, that'll be fine.

**OPFan37: **It's okay, I don't expect everyone to review on each chapter. Yes, this part of the story is gonna be seriously awesome. :D Yeah, the Wax-Wax Fruit is kinda cool. I can never remember though, is it a Paramecia type or a Logia type?

**Chapter 13 start!**

* * *

A Land Before Time!

Adventure on the Prehistoric Island!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_Once everything was put in a backpack carried by Lucy, except for Carue's Special Drink, which the duck wore in a mini barrel with a long straw strapped to his neck, we all leapt off the Merry and onto the shore of Little Garden. I grinned as I landed. I was gonna get to see dinosaurs IN REAL LIFE! How many people would ever get the chance to see this back home? None! This was really amazing!_

_Vivi boarded her duck. "Okay, we're off!" she said, and together, we took off into the jungle, eager to see what would await us in its dark depths._

_Little did I know that a ghost from my past was coming back to haunt me... One that I'd previously thought to be long gone. One that was supposed to be locked away. One that hated me to my bones._

As we fought through the thick jungle, my mood was still changing like a girl changes clothes. Well, any girl except me and Lucy, that is. One minute I was happily whistling the tune to the newest One Piece opening (can you blame me? 'Wake Up!' was totally awesome!) and the next, I was cursing my... well, curse.

"What the hell is wrong with me!?" I grumbled, tic-pulsing. "I can't decide how I should feel!"

Vivi smiled weakly and shrugged. "Gomen," she said. "It's something all girls go through at least once a month. Depending on their hormones, some have it worse than others."

"Dammit!" I swore, my eye twitching. "I'm not some freakin' girl! I'm a guy!"

"I know that, but you have a girl's body right now..."

Lucy blinked. "What are you guys talking about? I always feel normal. But that red stuff in the toilet's weird..."

"Lucky baka," I muttered. "And don't talk about that! That's disgusting! Have you no sense of shame? ...Oh, matte, you're Monkey D. Lucy. Of course you don't."

The forest was filled with strange cries and calls, each from an animal I couldn't name. My anger went away, replaced with a bubbling excitement. We came across a pond filled with some strange creatures that caught Lucy's eye.

"Whoa, check it out!" she said, fishing in the water with her hand and bringing out the animal. "It looks like a squid with a shell! It's a Shell Squid!"

The creature had a light blue shell and a sleek body with squirming tentacles. To tell you the truth, it looked uglier than Blackbeard, which was really saying something. I blanched at the sight of it.

Vivi got off her deck and crept forward for a closer look. "It looks just like an ammonite," she announced.

"It's a Shell Squid!"

"No, Vivi's right," I corrected her. "It _is_ an ammonite. I remember seeing a picture of a fossil of one back home. But ammonites are supposed to be extinct. They lived thousands, millions of years ago. Which means that this island is stuck in that time period. Of course, I knew that already."

"Oh yeah, you're a psychic," the princess remembered.

The sound of three eruptions echoed through the forest, making Carue quake in fear and Vivi blink. I frowned. That would be the volcanoes on the island. I wondered if we'd get trapped by the lava or covered in ash.

A roar from behind made me turn while the other two girls, who didn't seem to hear it, continued down the path we were beating. My jaw dropped. A little beast with razor-sharp teeth that looked like a raptor was creeping up on us. It had green skin and beady little eyes that made it look weird. I shook my head in wonder and stared at the beast.

Yup, definitely a raptor. So awesome!

The dinosaur vanished into a blur, making me gasp and glance around, crossing my arms and summoning protective water. If I had to fight a super fast dinosaur, I'd need all the power I could get. The raptor appeared suddenly in front of me, jaw opened wide to take a chunk outta me. I narrowed my eyes.

"Tempest Fist!" I roared, driving my fist into the side of its face. Its eyes rolled back in its head and it was thrown into the dense jungle around me.

I released the water back into the air and 'dusted off' my hands. "Who would've thought such a fast raptor was so weak?" I snorted, amused. I turned and ran back up the path, catching up to Vivi and Lucy, who apparently hadn't noticed my absence. I realized with some annoyance that I was unintentionally swaying my butt.

We continued through the jungle. Suddenly Lucy stopped and pointed upward. "Why is there a Sea King walking on land?" she asked.

I looked up. A long necked creature was there, chewing the leaves from a tropical tree and looking kinda bored. When I say long necked, I mean that its neck was so long it was like the prehistoric, oversized version of a giraffe. It had green skin, too, and its belly was white. It towered over everything else that I could see, even the enormous trees that this island was home to.

"A DINOSAUR!" Vivi gasped in shock.

I smirked at her. "Told ya it was Jurassic Park!"

"AGAIN, WHAT THE HECK IS JURASSIC PARK!?"

"A movie about people living with dinosaurs," I explained. "I never actually watched it, though, so I can't tell ya any more about it than that."

"A DINOSAUR!?" Lucy gasped in excitement, totally ignoring me as per usual. A huge grin spread out on her face and she giggled.

I smiled at her. "I know what you're thinking. Oi, Luce, can you take me, too?"

"Then, this must be one of the Prehistoric Islands!" Vivi said, her eyes wide. "What you said makes sense now, Diamond-chan! This island is locked in the Age of the Dinosaurs!" Lucy blinked a few times at her, obviously not understanding. The princess sighed and tried to explain things to the idiot. "Because of the difficulty of navigating the islands of the Grand Line, the different islands seldom mingle with one another! This means that each island has been left to develop in its own unique way. Therefore, there are civilizations that have advanced far beyond compare, and there are islands that have remained isolated for tens of thousands of years, retaining their original state! The unpredictable climates of the Grand Line make this possible! This island really _is _still in the Age of the Dinosaurs."

"Trying to explain stuff like that to Lucy is a hopeless endeavor," I informed her solemnly.

"JUST STOP PMS'ING ALREADY!"

"So it's a dinosaur island!?" Lucy concluded. Hey, she actually understood something. "SUGOI!" She shrugged off her backpack and stretched her arms out onto the dinosaur (I think it was a diplodocus), grabbing onto it. I shrugged and latched onto her tightly so that I could go with her. My new girl's breasts rubbed up against Lucy's soft back invitingly, making me blush a deep maroon. I was still unused to having such a sensitive chest. Anyway, I made sure to wrap my arms around her stomach so as not to accidentally grope her. Then again, would she even feel anything? She's rubber, after all. Ya know, I'm just gonna stop rambling here...

The rubbery captain retracted her body to her arms, taking me with her. I gave a whoop of delight. Unlike a few of the other times this had happened to me (Lucy used Gum-Gum Rocket more than you'd think), this time was actually fun. It felt like I was flying! We slammed into the diplodocus, Lucy's rubberiness softening the impact for me, though my chest was still a little sore. Damn girls and their damn sensitive boobs.

"Eh!?" Vivi screamed, shark-like. "Lucy! Diamond-chan! DON'T CLIMB IT!"

"Urusai, Nami," I shot back.

"I'M NOT NAMI!"

"You're sure acting like her."

"STOP PMS'ING, DANG IT!"

Lucy laughed at us and scrambled up to the top of the dinosaur's head. I ended my little piggyback ride and glanced around. Little Garden was bigger than I thought, which considering its name, was kind of ironic. From this vantage point, I could see tons of things I couldn't before: Tyrannosaurus Rexes crashing through the jungle, pterodactyls soaring in the sky, the volcanoes, those weird rock things I saw on the ship. Up here, the wind was stronger, and it blew our long hair around.

My female captain was impressed. "What a great view!" she exclaimed, grinning. "This would be a great place to eat lunch."

"Yeah," I agreed. "How 'bout you stretch down and grab your bag? I'm starved."

Vivi was beside herself. "How can you two be so carefree!?" she shouted. Carue looked like he was choking on air.

Lucy blinked. "Ah, so there really are volcanoes here! And there's a huge holey mountain way over there! "

"So slow!" I admonished her, hitting her on the back of her rubbery head.

"It's dangerous up there!" Vivi called. "Come back down here this instant!" Lucy blinked and looked down at her as she continued. "Even though it's docile now, it's still a dinosaur!"

"It's okay, he doesn't mind!" Lucy replied, waving her hand. "More importantly, there's a big hollow mountain over there! Sure is some strange terrain."

"The terrain doesn't matter! Just get back down here!"

"Silly Vivi," I giggled. Wait, giggled? What is this world coming to...? "When has danger ever stopped this idiot? I'll tell ya: Never. It was dangerous when we were fighting the fishmen, but she didn't care. It was dangerous when we ran into the Calm Belt by accident, but she didn't care. And it was definitely dangerous at Reverse Mountain, but like I said before, she didn't care!"

"You're all insane," she muttered.

Lucy, meanwhile, had stretched down to the the diplodocus's eye and was asking if it could take us to the weird rock/mountain thing. "Ne, even if you can't understand what I'm saying, come on, please take me!"

The diplodocus switched to another tree and started eating leaves from that one.

Lucy pouted, retracted back to the top of the head, and stretched her arms around its neck, forcing it to face the hollow mountain. It roared in pain and nearly choked. "Not THERE!" Lucy whined. "_There!_"

Carue, Vivi, and I freaked out.

I smacked her. "Baka! Even though its just a herbivore, it wouldn't like that very much!"

"What's a herbivore?"

"Something that only eats plants, not meat."

"Oh, so it's a baka."

"..."

Some weird horn-like calls that I couldn't place resounded throughout the forest. The jungle started shaking, making Vivi and Carue freak out even more. As Lucy apologized to the still-choking diplodocus, something emerged from the jungle, reaching up with a body even taller than our ride's and nearly stepping on our guests. No... not something, some_things_. My jaw dropped in shock while Lucy was overjoyed.

"SUGOI!" Lucy cheered.

"Lucy-san!" gasped Vivi. "I _told_ you it was dangerous! Now come down here right now and bring Diamond-chan with you!"

She totally ignored her. "Hey now, these dinos are taller! I bet I can see better from up here!" Lucy wrapped a rubbery arm around my body, thankfully missing any sensitive parts, and stretched us up to the other dinosaurs. They looked similar to the diplodocus, except they had a darker skin tone and a protrusion from the top of their skull, like someone had stuck a giant pole in their head and forced skin to grow on it.

Lucy landed smoothly, though I was thrown to the side by accident and almost rolled off the thing's head before finding purchase. I hung there desperately and pulled myself up.

"Just like I thought," Lucy was saying. "I can see the holes much better from here!"

I pulled water from the air, wrapped it around my fist, and punched Lucy hard. "Dumbass! You almost killed me just now!"

She pouted at me, rubbing a bump on her head. "That's not fair, punching with water!"

More of the taller dinosaurs appeared, one taking a bite at us. I gulped and we leaped out of harm's way, managing to land on the attacker's head. It tried to shake us off as more bit at us. We began a game of cat-and-mouse way up in the air, just barely managing not to get eaten as we jumped from dinosaur to dinosaur, Lucy more excited than afraid, and I more afraid than excited. We misjudged a leap and fell through the air, but managed to land on a rising dinosaur's nose before lifting off onto another and sliding down its back. I had to admit, my fear was going a way some, and turning into thrilled excitement.

"Vivi! You've gotta try this! It's fun!" Lucy called as we slid down the beast's neck.

"Yeah, it is sorta fun!" I said.

We reached the bottom of its neck, slid along its back, and continued through the air after reaching the end of the dinosaur's tail, which had curved upward a little. Unfortunately, my momentary joy was short-lived... because another of the beasts roared and reached down to meet us. We flew right into its mouth and fell down its throat.

"You baka!" I screamed at my captain. "I swear I'm gonna kill you!"

"Where are we?" she asked in confusion. "It's dark."

"WE'RE IN ITS THROAT, DUMBASS!"

Suddenly a thin line of light opened up below us, getting bigger and bigger with each passing second. The neck of the thing curved to us, making us slide diagonally instead of fall vertically. We were tossed out of it, spinning crazily. I managed to create a cushion of water for me to fall into, but Lucy didn't need any help since she was rubber. We crashed into the ground near Vivi.

"What the heck just happened?" I wondered. "We were eaten... and now we're out of it."

I got to my feet, massaging my butt. Even with the cushioning effect of my water, I had still managed to hurt myself a little. I took notice of a shell-shocked Vivi and Carue, then turned around.

My jaw dropped.

Looming over us was a massive giant with an equally massive longsword.

* * *

**Well, that was quite insane! But wouldn't that be cool, to be able to see dinosaurs in real life? I'm kinda jealous of Diamond now. Not with the genderbending part, but still. OHMYGOSH, THE ONE PIECE WORLD IS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME! And who's seen the most recent episode!? THAT OPENING WAS AMAZING! It showed Luffy battling both Akainu _and_ Blackbeard, two of the biggest bastards in the world! It was so awesome!  
**

Diamond: I got eaten... and then I met a giant...

Vivi: STOP PMS'ING ALREADY! You're like, what, 18!?

Diamond: G-Giants...

Lucy: Wow! Awesome!

**Well, hope you liked this chapter! If you liked the story so far, I'd appreciate it if you follow and/or favorite this fanfiction novel. Please leave a review on what you liked, didn't like, think I should change, stuff like that. Sorry if some of the stuff Damon/Diamond was talking about seemed a bit inappropriate, but I thought it was worthwhile mentioning that. I mean, he's a girl now. He's obviously gonna notice those things. Oh, and although popularity is much appreciated, it IS NOT necessary for me to continue writing.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	14. No 14: Dorry VS Brogy Round One!

**Another chapter of Diamond's craziness. XD Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, heartbeat, you are the one; go ahead~! By the way, I realized I made a mistake in the last chapter, so I corrected it. Dorry carries a longsword, not a battleaxe. Yeah, well, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Otaku-san32:** The other one's Miss Goldenweek. She'll have a great advantage over Diamond since she's going through PMS, and her power allows her to mess with emotions and stuff. XD Er... Miss Wednesday is Vivi. Just to say. The last partner they're facing is my OC enemy, Miss Holy Saturday, whose powers shall be revealed in due time but not now. Don't worry, you'll find out. And the truth's gonna blow your mind. :D**  
**

**DarkLord98: **Yeah, but it would suck having to have periods and stuff, and to have other guys stare at you because you have a girl's body and all. Still, you're right, it would be kind of interesting to have Damon's curse. And thanks for the clarification.

**Chapter 14 start!**

* * *

The Enormous Duel Commences!  


Dorry VS Brogy Round One!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I got to my feet, massaging my butt. Even with the cushioning effect of my water, I had still managed to hurt myself a little. I took notice of a shell-shocked Vivi and Carue, then turned around._

_My jaw dropped._

_Looming over us was a massive giant with an equally massive longsword._

Okay, I actually made a mistake. Lucy hadn't landed on the ground as I had thought. She'd been caught by the giant and was now staring up at him, sparkles around her. I sweatdropped. Here was this enormous giant, as tall as those volcanoes, and she wasn't even batting an eyelash. _She_ just thought it was amazingly cool.

The giant was wrapped in a blue cape and wore a shield on the arm he was holding Lucy with. He had a helmet and a crazy Dumbledore beard, except his was brown, not white. He was grinning cheerfully at my captain, his sword not even covered in blood. He had a fur Viking-like outfit underneath his cloak, which I had to admit was kind of cool.

"You and that other girl were playing with the Long Necks in the jungle," he boomed, laughing loud enough to shake the trees. "What lively humans!"

"I wanted to have an adventure," Lucy explained. "Diamond-chan was just PMS'ing."

I double tic-pulsed, angry enough that I probably had a shark-like expression. "WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT!? IT'S NOT TRUE! I WANTED TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE TOO, YA KNOW!"

The giant laughed again, seemingly amused by our antics. "It's been a long time since I've had a guest!"

"You're so HUGE!" my captain said, as though it wasn't obvious enough already. "Are you human?"

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?" I bellowed, shaking my fist in frustration.

Vivi sweatdropped. "It's not worth it, Diamond-chan."

Carue quacked in agreement, also sweatdropping.

"You're asking if I'm human?" the giant thundered cheerfully. "GYAGYAGYAGYA! I, and I alone, am Elbaf's mightiest warrior, Dorry!" Dorry raised his sword into the air proudly. 'GYAGYAGYAGYA! I'm a giant!"

Vivi, who had fallen on her knees, gulped. "A g-giant... I've never seen one. I've only heard about them in stories..."

I nodded. "They don't exist back home. In my world, they're just myths, the stuff of fairy tales and fantasy novels."

Up in Dorry's hand, Lucy grinned. "You're a giant, eh? Ore wa Monkey D. Lucy! A kaizoku!"

"GYAGYAGYAGYA! A kaizoku? That's great! GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

Carue must've passed out some time in the past minute, because Vivi had started shaking him, saying, "Carue, wake up! Let's run away before it's too late!"

I shrugged. "He seems to be friendly enough. I mean, he's laughing all the time and he hasn't done anything except save me and Lucy... AND WE WOULDN'T HAVE NEEDED SAVING IF LUCY HADN'T WANTED TO GO ON HER STUPID ADVENTURES!"

Vivi sweatdropped again. "Okay, really though, that's enough with the PMS'ing..."

"URUSAI! I AM NOT PMS'ING!"

Lucy pointed at us, making Dorry look in our direction. "Ah, see those guys?" she said. "The blue haired girl's Vivi, the duck's Carue, and the brown haired one's Diamond-chan."

"The one who's PMS'ing?" Dorry guessed.

"Yup! They're my nakama!"

"I'M NOT PMS'ING, DAMMIT!"

Vivi's eye twitched as badly as mine was. "Lucy-san, why did you say that?" she hissed.

The giant laughed some more. "GYAGYAGYAGYA! Hey, you guys! I'll show you my place. GYAGYAGYAGYA!" Lucy readily agreed, and Dorry picked up me, Vivi, and Carue, crashing through the jungle to the hollow mountain. Ironic since that's where Lucy wanted to go in the first place.

Once we were there, he cooked us up some dinosaur meat from the Long Neck that he'd killed in order to save Lucy and I. Lucy was still sitting in his hand while the delicious-smelling meat roasted on a huge, hot fire, laughing along with the giant.

"GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"Shishishi!"

"GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"Shishishi!"

Finally, the meat was done and we were each given a rind, though the desert princess quickly declined the offer. Lucy and I, on the other hand, tore into the meat with the hunger of Sanji whenever a girl's in the same room he is. It was so awesome! A perfect mix of tender, chewy, sweet, and smokey. I wondered how it would taste in a stuffed pepper.

"This stuff is great, Giant-ossan!" Lucy said happily, already halfway through her (literally) giant sized slab of dinosaur meat.

He leaned down and laughed again. "That kaizoku bento wasn't too bad, either! Though it was a bit small. GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"Shishishi! You bet! That was a special lunch made by my kaizoku ship's cook! If you'd have said it was bad, I would've had to kick your ass!"

"GYAGYA - - kick my ass?"

Vivi, sitting with me and Carue in the grass, stared up at them in sudden terror. Carue, who had recovered from his fainting spell, nearly blacked out again in shock, his Special Drink pouring out of his bill in a mini waterfall.

"GYAGYAGYAGYA! What a funny girl!" Dorry thundered, slapping his knee cheerfully.

The bluenette sweatdropped. "They're so friendly with each other..."

"As long as she doesn't ask him to join our crew, it's fine by me," I told her seriously, tearing another chunk of meat off my enormous rind. I may not have an appetite like Lucy, but the meat was so good I couldn't stop eating it!

The straw hatted girl in question chewed some more meat herself. "Anyway, ossan, why are you living all alone out here?" she asked. "Don't you have a village or something?"

Dorry suddenly grew wistful, looking off the island dreamily. "Yeah, I have a village," he said quietly - - well, as quiet as a giant can be. "It's called Elbaf, the Village of Warriors. Somewhere out on the Grand Line. But our village has laws."

"Laws?" Lucy repeated.

I smirked. "Is there an echo here?"

Vivi hit me in the back of my head. "That's just getting old now."

"Hai, laws. For example," the giant began, "To settle a fight, each of the opponents must leave the village and accept the judgement of our kami, Elbaf. Elbaf grants divine protection unto the rightful victor. That rightful victor is allowed to live."

"Your kami, Elbaf?" Lucy echoed. Vivi shot me a glare before I could say anything.

I blinked. "I just realized something. 'Elbaf' is 'fable' spelled backward." Of course, everyone ignored me, and I hung my head in a cloud of depression.

Dorry sighed. "Well, I started a feud. And to this day, another man and I have used this island as our dueling ground. The rightful victor shall triumph and survive. GYAGYAGYAGYA! But it's been a hundred years and we still haven't settled it! GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

Lucy stared at him. "You guys have been fighting for a hundred years?"

"That's freakin' LONG!" I choked out. I tried to imagine fighting the same person that long. That would take some serious stamina. When Dorry said he was Elbaf's mightiest warrior he wasn't kidding. I couldn't even wrap my mind around fighting someone for so long.

He grinned at us. "Surprised? It's nothing to be surprised about! We giants live three times longer than you little pipsqueaks. GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

Vivi stepped forward, looking serious. "But even if you live three times as long, fighting for a hundred years!? Shouldn't you have gotten tired of it? Is there still a reason to just keep fighting? You could die, right!?"

I smirked at her. "Oi, Vivi. We could die if we take you with us, but we're still taking you, right? It's the same thing. He knows he can die, but he just doesn't care. The reason doesn't matter. This isn't about that. This is a thing about honor, princess."

"GYAGYAGYAGYA!" Dorry boomed, his long beard bouncing as he laughed. "You're quite wise for a human, Diamond-chan!"

I waved dismissively. "No, I'm not wise. I'm just a psychic, that's all."

_BOOM._

One of the volcanoes had erupted, the one in the middle. Dorry noticed this and sighed, suddenly serious again. He stood up, setting Lucy down on the ground next to us. I still wasn't hot or even warm, but Vivi was sweating her skin off and even Lucy looked a little warm. Maybe it was something to do with my demigodishness? I'd have to ask Aeso about it the next time I saw him.

"Wow!" Lucy gasped, staring at the volcano, which was still going off. "That's one HUGE explosion!"

"Time for me to go," Dorry, grabbing his sword and shield. We all looked up at him. Something had changed in him... like he'd grown homesick or something. "I forget when we decided," he began, "but the erupting of the center mountain signals the start of our battle."

"But that's..." Vivi started.

I cut her off with a hand held horizontally in front of her. "Remember, Vivi. This is their honor we're talking about. For a true man, honor is one of the most valuable things one can have. Dorry and his friend would risk their lives to uphold their honor. They don't hate each other."

"She's right," Lucy said quietly. Her expression was shadowed behind her straw hat, but her voice was solemn. "Don't interrupt." She finally looked up, and her usual happy-go-lucky expression had morphed into a far more serious one. "Honor is what this is about. I won't let anyone get in the way of a man's duel."

The desert princess frowned and knocked my hand away.

"Exactly," agreed Dorry. "For a warrior, honor is EVERYTHING!" The huge man let out a battle cry that shook the island and charged forward, each step filled with enough power to crush all the trees under it. "You want a reason?" He clashed weapons with another giant who carried an enormous battleax, the shock wave emanating throughout the valley and blowing our hair back. I stared in awe. What power! "I FORGOT THE REASON YEARS AGO!"

We stared in impressed silence as the giants attacked each other with brutal force, each swipe aimed at a vital point - - the neck, the chest, the head, et cetera. Vivi's jaw dropped and so did mine. Carue's eyes popped out of his duck head. Lucy was so awed she simply fell backwards, her hat rolling off her head and landing in the grass a foot away.

"W-What's wrong?" Vivi asked her.

Lucy blew steam out of her mouth. "Incredible," she breathed. Her eyes wide. "They're so HUGE!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOUR IMPRESSED ABOUT!?" I screamed at her, more shocked than I had been at the force of the giants' explosive attacks. "JUST LOOK AT THEM FIGHT! EACH BLOW HAS ENOUGH POWER TO DECIMATE A FORTRESS! I've never seen anything like it..."

The humongous battle raged on, the ground shaking ceaselessly. A T-Rex tried sneaking up on us with our backs turned, but I felt it behind me and took it out with a quick round of Tempest Boxing, making it fly back into the underbrush of the jungle.

And all the while, Dorry and his friend duked it out with all their massive might.

* * *

**We are shining, running, forever~! Yeah, I can't stop singing that new opening song for One Piece. XD I'm pretty sure my classmates think I'm nuts. lol. Hey, can you blame me? It was awesome. It showed a freakin' battle between LUFFY and AKAINU, and the beginning of a battle against BLACKBEARD! Plus the song is just so awesome it totally gets you pumped for the series. I CANNOT wait for the rest of the Dressrosa Arc to come out on the anime. (I don't really read the manga 'cuz it's confusing). BTW, yes! I have no school tomorrow because it's gonna be too cold! (-4 with a wind chill of -15 here in Ohio.)  
**

Diamond: Holy shit... that battle... it's FREAKIN' EPIC!

Vivi: I really don't understand you sometimes...

Lucy: Giants are HUGE.

Diamond: *sweatdrops* No duh...

Usopp: I'm feeling left out.

**Well, folks, you know what I'm gonna put now. If you liked this chapter, don't forget to follow and/or favorite this story. Leave a review saying what you liked, didn't like, think I should change, or anything like that. Popularity is most definitely appreciated and most definitely NOT NECESSARY.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	15. No 15: A Low Trick in an Honorable Duel!

**And now this is where the story starts getting exciting again! We've finally gone through most of the explaining part of this arc and now the action's starting up. Yippee! That just sounded weird... Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**gamelover41592:** Yeah, I know they're kinda short lately. That's just because the episodes are switching points of views a lot, from Luffy's group to Usopp and Nami to Sanji to Zoro. So there's less to write about when you're only writing from Luffy's group's POV. Arigatou!**  
**

**Kakusei: **I know, that'll be epic! Plus there'll be an additional enemy for him to fight!

**DarkLord98: **If it was the normal curse, it'd end sometime around Water 7 or Enies Lobby, but obviously since this ain't a normal fanfiction, the curse ain't normal either, so I have a different idea for it. You'll just have to wait and find what it is. Though it'll be exceedingly embarrassing for Damon, you can be sure. XD

**Otaku-san32: **ikr!? Now I get to spend all day today working on my fanfiction instead of having to take exams. YES! Heh heh, stupid T-Rex. A few water-enhanced punches and it's down for the count. Not even worth the time to fight it. lol. That's a good thought, but because Diamond's emotions are already so messed up, it wouldn't take very much to mess them up even more.

**Chapter 15 start!**

* * *

Lucy and Diamond's Fury!

A Low Trick in an Honorable Battle  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_"THAT'S WHAT YOUR IMPRESSED ABOUT!?" I screamed at her, more shocked than I had been at the force of the giants' explosive attacks. "JUST LOOK AT THEM FIGHT! EACH BLOW HAS ENOUGH POWER TO DECIMATE A FORTRESS! I've never seen anything like it..."_

_The humongous battle raged on, the ground shaking ceaselessly. A T-Rex tried sneaking up on us with our backs turned, but I felt it behind me and took it out with a quick round of Tempest Boxing, making it fly back into the underbrush of the jungle._

_And all the while, Dorry and his friend duked it out with all their massive might._

CRASH!

CLANG!

"GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"GYABABABA!"

All of those were sounds we heard while Dorry and his (literally) giant friend, a guy named Brogy if I remembered correctly, fought each other with all their massive might. Brogy was a little on the horizontally challenged side, and instead of brown hair like me and Dorry, he was blonde like Sanji. He wore mostly the same outfit as Dorry, except instead of a dark blue cape, his was lighter, and his beard was a lot shorter. His helmet was a Viking's helmet - - you know, the kind with the two horns sticking out.

Each blow from the giants sent an impressive shock wave across the island of Little Garden, rippling trees and making my hair blow back wildly. Vivi blocked her face from the wind with her hands, but I was so enthralled by the humongous battle that it didn't bother me in the slightest, not even with my raging emotions.

The fighters jumped away from each other, grunting. Dorry stabbed his longsword in for a shot at Brogy's heart, which the other gigantic man jumped over, causing the blade to thrust into the mountain side of one of the hollow mountains. In midair, Brogy raised his battleax and delivered a crushing blow to his opponent's helmet, an attack with the power of a small bomb. But it didn't even faze the long-bearded giant. Instead, Dorry simply pushed his head forward and slammed into Brogy's chest, throwing him back through the crumbling mountain.

"Sugoi..." I breathed. "This battle is the number one coolest thing I've ever seen."

Lucy nodded reverently. "They're amazing."

Vivi just frowned and Carue gave a quack of shock at the unbelievable amount of energy condensed into each attack.

The two giants stood back up, smirking at each other. Tension filled the air. Brogy gave another battle cry and swept the battleax at Dorry's neck, our friend leaning back just soon enough that only a bit of his beard was chopped off. Their capes billowing in the wind, they connected blades and shields time after time, neither quite gaining the upper hand. They butted heads; they lashed out with their legs; they even slammed their shields into each others' humongous faces. Nothing looked like it worked. They appeared to be matching exactly in power.

"I can't believe those two have been fighting like this for a hundred years," the blue haired princess that we were escorting murmured. She fiddled with her dress.

"Honor," I reminded her in a quiet voice. "It's all about honor. And these guys... they have more honor than anyone I've ever met. Whoever wins this match, it's a huge honor just to be able to _watch_ it."

Axe and sword clashed again, easily ripping apart any trees that were in their way. An unlucky dinosaur happened to get too close to the battle and was killed in about a second. With each attack, I felt my respect for Dorry grow a hundred fold. I couldn't help but grin at the sight of the fight. Compared to this, my battles seemed like an ant fight.

Finally, the last swipe sent both Brogy's battleax and Dorry's longsword spinning up into the air. Panting, Brogy grinned at his opponent.

"We both... long for our home, don't we. Dorry." he said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. His voice was softer than his friend's.

Dorry nodded, also panting. "That's why after I take you down," he hissed, holding his chest, "I'm returning to Elbaf. Brogy."

Sword and axe came tumbling back down out of the sky, biting into the ground at the same time. Letting out a battle cry that sent all the prehistoric birds on this island spiraling out of their trees, the duelers smashed their shields into each others faces in unison, the iron half-circles on the ends digging into their cheeks.

"73,466 battles," garbled Brogy through a mouthful of shield.

Dorry's eyes were wide in pain. "73,466 draws."

They fell backwards, crushing any trees and animals that might have been under them, though that wasn't as big of a concern as it might've been, because they'd chosen to battle each other in a large clearing.

We waited anxiously to see what would happen. To see if either of them were alive. With the way they weren't moving, it didn't look like it.

Suddenly they both erupted into laughter.

"GYABABABA!" boomed Brogy. "Guess what, Dorry! I just got some ale from two little visitors!"

"NICE!" Dorry thundered appreciatively. "I haven't had a drink in so long! Gimme some, too. GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

I grinned. "They're alright! Of course, I knew that. I'm a psychic."

* * *

Once Brogy had given Dorry a couple barrels of our ale, courtesy of Nami and Usopp who were at the other hollow mountain, our friend returned to us and kept on laughing. He plopped down and leaned up against the mountain, creating a small crater in the ground in the process.

He held up the two barrels. "So then, the little midgets over there are your nakama?" he concluded. "There's a guy with a long nose and a woman."

I grinned. "Yup, that's Usopp and Nami! Usopp's a sniper and Nami's a navigator."

Lucy giggled. "I wonder what they're doing over there! They said they didn't want to get off the ship! Looks like they wanted to have an adventure after all! Shishishi!" Vivi smiled at her, shrugging.

Dorry pointed at us. "So that means I got this ale here from you guys?" A pterodactyl called somewhere off in the sky and we all glanced at it. I was still trying to get over the fact that I was seeing real, live _dinosaurs_. Only in the One Piece world could something like this happen.

"By the way, Dorry-san," Vivi spoke up, looking at him worriedly. "Does it really take a whole year for the Log to reset?" I'd already mentioned that to them a while back.

The Giant Warrior looked into the caves of the hollow mountain, shrugging nonchalantly. "You guys didn't notice all those puny human bones over there?" he asked. "Most humans that land here die before their Logs are set. Some become dinosaur food, some succumb to the heat, and some try to attack us, but they all die. It seems that spending a year on this island is too much for humans."

"It wouldn't be so bad for training purposes," I said, "but when you're trying to get someplace, it'd be really annoying. Humans aren't very patient. But I find it hard to believe that a lot of people get eaten by dinosaurs. The ones I've fought seem generally weak."

Vivi raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean, the 'ones you fought?' You didn't have time to fight anything."

I blinked. "You didn't see me take out that T-Rex during Dorry and Brogy's fight? I also punched out a raptor during our trip to the forest when I got behind you guys..."

The ex-Baroque Works agent's jaw dropped.

"Like I said," Lucy giggled, "Diamond-chan's strong!"

Vivi shook herself out of her stupor and clutched the bottom of her dress worriedly. "What do we do now?" she demanded, biting her lip. "Even if I can survive here for a year, who knows what will happen to my country in that time?"

"I do!" I jumped in. "Crocodile will take it over but then realize it was pointless and kill everybody."

"NOT HELPING!" she cried.

Lucy furrowed her brow. "You two're right," she agreed. "A year's way too long. Don't you know any better way, ossan?"

Dorry set his barrel of beer on the ground thoughtfully. "There _is_ a single Eternal Pose here on the island. But it points to our homeland, Elbaf. The winner of our battle will claim that Eternal Pose." He smirked. "How about it? Wanna try taking it from us?"

My straw hatted captain pouted. "That's no good. We don't want to go there."

"Usopp probably does by now," I muttered.

"All we want to go to is the next island," Lucy continued. "Right?" She looked at us for confirmation.

Vivi and I nodded. "If we lose our way to Alabasta," the princess said, "there will be no reason to continue forward."

"Hear that?"

Dorry grinned. "Well then, why not set out now and try to find the right way for yourselves? If luck is with you, you'll make it."

Lucy blinked. There was a pregnant pause, then she burst into laughter. "Shishishi! You could be right! We _are_ pretty lucky! Shishishi!"

"That reminds me!" the giant thundered bemusedly. "A long time ago, some guy left before his Log set."

"And what happened to him?"

"Did he die?" I demanded, grinning.

"How the hell should I know?" Dorry pointed out.

"He must've made it to the next island!"

"Maybe they treated him like a hero for being so brave!"

"Of course! GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"Shishishi!"

"Hahaha!"

We laughed so hard, I got a cramp and lost my breath a little. I had to hold my side, panting while trying to laugh at the same time. I wasn't really sure why it was so funny, but I hadn't had this good of a laugh in a long time. It felt nice, like I was with family. Of course, I was with family, wasn't I? Maybe my real family had been decimated, but the Straw Hats made up for that. And Lucy... maybe she made up for that a little more than the rest. I wasn't quite sure, but she always made me feel more at home than the others could. Ever since I'd met her for the first time a month ago... no, nearing a month and half now, I had felt more at peace with myself. Before that, I'd just been a normal Christian boy conflicted with his past. Now I was still a Christian, but not quite a boy, and not so at odds with my past anymore. I was slowly moving forward. Slowly becoming my old self.

The ghosts that had haunted me since my mother's death two years ago, the ghosts that neither Cracked-Up Kane nor my friend Jason could quite eradicate, were slowly letting go of me.

I hadn't had a chance to protect my mother.

But now I had a chance to protect my friends.

_BOOM_.

My eyes widened in horror and Lucy made a strangled gasp of surprise. Vivi's face went ashen and Carue quacked in shock. Dorry had just been taking a sip of our ale when suddenly a huge bomb went off, smoke rising up from the giant's throat. In my little self-evaluating moment, I had forgotten all about one tiny detail concerning the Little Garden Arc: Dorry drank the beer that had the Baroque Works snot-bomb in it.

"D-D-Dorry-san!" I gasped.

The huge man collapsed backwards.

Lucy's face was twisted in fury. "Giant-ossan!" she cried, jumping onto the giant's chest and looking at his smoking mouth.

"It exploded from his stomach!" Vivi reported, examining the situation quickly. "Did the other Giant set this up...?"

The pirate captain rounded on her, glaring in anger. "NO WAY!" she screamed. She leapt off of Dorry and got up in Vivi's face, making her gulp and step backward. I couldn't blame her. Lucy looked downright _scary_ right now. "YOU! WEREN'T YOU WATCHING!? They've fought four a hundred years, and you think they'd do something like this!?"

"Then who could possibly...?" the princess started, but didn't get a chance to finish.

"It was _you_," Dorry rasped, standing up and unsheathing his sword, a dark look on his face. We swiveled around to face him. "It wasn't Brogy. We are *pant* honorable Warriors of Elbaf *pant.* The only ones to suspect are *pant* you three."

My body was overflowing with fury. I could feel it burning through my veins. I was starting to loose focus, drowning the conversation out in my rage. Someone who could stoop so low as to intervene with a battle as sacred as this one were heartless fools who had no idea how to live. They couldn't be allowed _to_ live.

"Lucy-chan," I said quietly.

Everybody paused and looked at me, maybe feeling the anger in my voice.

"It was Baroque Works who did this. They followed us here. I forgot all about them while I was watching the duel."

"B-Baroque Works!?" Vivi gasped. "But then that would mean - -"

"Ossan!" Lucy shouted, panting. She was stuck under the giant mountain and it appeared that Vivi had dragged me off to the side, making me frown. Just how much had I missed? She struggled against the huge rock, but Dorry was already going off, carrying his sword and shield with them. I looked at the middle volcano to see it was smoking again.

"URUSAI!" I cut her off. She paused and looked at me in confusion. I glared off into the jungle, then looked at her seriously. "I know the guys who did this. Let me fight them. Give me permission to take revenge for interfering with a fight like this."

There was a few moments of silence, save for the sound of the giant's footsteps as he stumbled off into the jungle to another duel and the calls of dinosaurs in said jungle.

Lucy's expression was hidden beneath the shadow of her straw hat. "Permission granted," she said solemnly.

I nodded and cracked my knuckles, tearing off into the overgrowth. "BAROQUE WORKS!" I bellowed, vexation lacing my voice. "I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!"

I ripped through the jungle, ignoring the vines slapping against my face and the dinosaurs that popped out at me, blasting through everything. Screw the plot! I'd made my decision and whatever the consequences, I'd have no regrets about it. Someone had to pay for doing this, and that someone would be Baroque Works.

I was so wrapped up in my own anger, I didn't even notice the white wax flying through the air at me until it was too late.

* * *

**And so Diamond is captured by Baroque Works! Will she manage to escape before Zoro, Nami, and Vivi do, or will a certain partner agent have something else planned for her? Just who is Miss Holy Saturday, anyway? And what does Diamond's past have to do with all of this? All of these questions and more shall be answered in the next chapter! Hopefully. Meh.  
**

Diamond: Damn those criminals! I WON'T FORGIVE THEM! I'LL BEAT THEM UP! ...Just as soon as I get rescued.

Lucy: I'm still stuck under this rock, ya know...

Dorry: Now I understand. Elbaf's judgement has been passed. I have lost favor in the duel.

Miss Holy Saturday: And now my plan is coming into action! Kyahahaha!

**Do you like my story so far? If so, please follow and/or favorite _OP Full Blast: Across the Sands_! Also, leave a review on what you liked, didn't like, what you think is gonna happen, or if you caught a mistake I made! Or anything else like that. Please note that, as always, while I very much appreciate popularity, I don't find it necessary for me to continue writing this story. By the way, can someone who has a deviantART make a picture of Damon and Diamond? I don't have one myself and I suck at drawing anyway, so I can't do it. If you do, I'll be sure to post a link to the page so that everyone can get a better idea of what he and she looks like! Remember: They have brown hair, brown eyes, an eye patch, a slightly pointy nose, Diamond has a large chest, they wear a leather jacket, and they usually wear jeans. The T-shirt's up to you, since they commonly change clothes, unlike most characters.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	16. No 16: The Return of a Killer!

**Yes, finally, here it is! The chapter where Diamond's past comes full circle and she must face an old enemy! Can she escape Baroque Works and save her friends with Lucy, Usopp, and Carue? Or is she doomed to death by the hand of a familiar face? Find out by reading forward! Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** Yeah, it is kind of like Ranma 1/2, except it's not cold/hot water that activates/deactivates the curse. It's a different thing. But I didn't watch much of that anime, so I don't really know what the Nyotai-ka thing is...

**Otaku-san32: **Heh, yeah, Diamond's not a good person to anger. She's pretty dang powerful, which is helpful to the world in general, but bad for the baddies. But Nami's so scary she can even hurt LUCY with just a normal punch. That's pretty scary. XD Arigatou!

**OPFan37: **Oh, come on, I'm not that popular. I've only got like 46 follows on the previous book and around half of that on this one. There are tons of people who have way more than me. Tbh, I can only draw stick figures too. lol. I can sorta draw the upper body of a normal human, but I can't really do much more than that. And my animal drawing prowess is non-existent. I probably draw worse animals than Luffy. XD

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Hate cliffhangers? You're gonna despise the ending of this chapter. *grins evilly* Nah, unfortunately, can't do that. As much as I'd like to see Mr. 3 and those morons get Tempest Fist-ed to the face, that's not gonna happen. The whole thing with Miss Holy Saturday will keep him too occupied to punch that stupid moron.

**Chapter 16 start!**

* * *

The Ghost From Her Past!

The Devil Candle and the Return of a Killer!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I nodded and cracked my knuckles, tearing off into the overgrowth. "BAROQUE WORKS!" I bellowed, vexation lacing my voice. "I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!"_

_I ripped through the jungle, ignoring the vines slapping against my face and the dinosaurs that popped out at me, blasting through everything. Screw the plot! I'd made my decision and whatever the consequences, I'd have no regrets about it. Someone had to pay for doing this, and that someone would be Baroque Works._

_I was so wrapped up in my own anger, I didn't even notice the white wax flying through the air at me until it was too late._

All I could see was darkness, but I knew I was still alive by the cold feeling itching my skin. As I grew more aware of my surroundings, I could tell that I was being marched along a rugged path. The sounds of roaring dinosaurs and other ancient beasts filled my ears, so I knew I was still on Little Garden. My hands were the coldest part of me, and they were locked behind my back.

My upper body was so cold that I was unable to move it, but my lower body was just fine.

As long as I still had that, I could fight back against whoever had captured me.

I built up power in my legs, tensing my muscles. I could hear a woman's voice saying something, but the words were lost in the jungle noises. Nevertheless, I tried to make out where it was coming from. Was it to my left? No, wait, it was a little bit ahead of me to the the left.

I drew water from the air to beneath my torso, wrapping it around the only part of me that wasn't frozen. I bent my knees and jumped, lashing out with my foot in a smooth circular swipe. There was the satisfactory feeling of my sneakers connecting with flesh and my captor cried out. As I landed, I could feel my body getting warmer. My vision started returning and I could actually feel above my torso again. However, my arms were still locked back.

"Damn brat," the unknown woman spat. "I should've left his whole body frozen. Or is it her? Gah, this is confusing."

I blinked a couple of times, trying to clear my vision some more. I was able to make out TV static spots of color, but that was about it. I couldn't just take off yet or it would be suicide.

Crapola.

But more importantly, that voice... I knew I'd heard it before. It sounded just like _her. _Just like Prim. Primrose Joyce Digger. But that was impossible. Prim couldn't be here, there was no way. For one thing, she was stuck back in the real world. And there was another place Prim was stuck in, too.

Jail.

"Yes, that look on your face is priceless!" the woman cackled. "You know, I'm surprised you're able to move so soon. You must've really gotten stronger since you came here. No matter. Mr. 3 may be a bit of an idiot, but his Wax-Wax powers are a charm for jobs like this."

"You," I rasped as I felt a warm hand grasp my arm, forcing me to walk again. Rage was once again flowing deep within me. "Are you... her?"

"Her?" She snorted. "Are you a baka? Of course I'm a her. But as for the 'her' you're talking about, if it's _that_ her, then yes."

My eyes widened, even though I couldn't actually use them for anything.

"But that's - - but you're - -"

"Gone?" she suggested, her voice spiteful and sly. "Locked away forever? You may've thought I was out of your life, Damon, but when I was given a chance by my _real_ mother to get revenge on you, well, I couldn't turn that down, now, could I?"

I glared in the direction of her voice. My eyesight was good enough now that I could make out a fuzzy image of a white-skinned woman gripping my arm with a vise-like power. My sight increased enough for me to see that her eyes were heterochromic - - one was hazel and the other was a deep emerald green. Her lips were lined with light pink. Her eyes were shadowed with dark blue eyeliner. She wore a black girl's jacket over a dark red shirt with a matching black tie. Her chest was medium-sized; no where near Nami-level, but still enough to attract perverts. And lastly, the woman's hair was dark purple.

There was no doubt about it. The hair color confirmed it.

"Prim!?" I gasped. "How did you get out of jail!? You were put away in the best prison there was! You... you bitch! _You're the one who killed Mom!_"

"Yes, quite," Prim agreed, chuckling evilly. She turned the eyes that I'd always been afraid of during my childhood on me, and I felt as though she was scanning my soul. It was a very eerie feeling. "Tell me, why do you have a girl's body now, Damon?"

"I met a woman named Lady Konton," I hissed, rage building painfully in my head. "She cursed me. And it's _Diamond _to you, bitch. I should kill you right now for what you did to my mother... to _our_ mother."

"Ah, Lady Konton. _That_ demigod. At first I thought you'd met up with that disgusting okama, Ivankov, but it makes sense now. I assume that scar on your back is from her scythes?"

"What the... how do you know her? And what were you saying about your real mother earlier?"

Prim smirked. "Well, she _is_ my comrade, after all. As for your second question, I found out about my mother while I was in jail. She appeared to me in a dream. She said that she was the demoness of winter, Lady Denoue, and that I was her daughter. She offered me freedom in return for doing a few jobs for her in this world. I readily accepted. So you know how grueling prison life is, _Damon_?"

"It's _Diamond_," I corrected her through gritted teeth.

She slapped me and I fell onto the warm jungle ground. Prim stepped on my face and dug her foot into my cheek. "I don't think you're in a position to be ordering me around, Damon. When you found out that I killed that evil woman, you contacted the New York Police anonymously. Imagine my shock and sense of betrayal when the cops swept down on me! I knew that only you would stoop so low as to sell out your step-sister like that. I swore on that day that I'd get revenge.

"_Step-sister!?_" I roared, fighting against my cold body. "You lost the right to call yourself a member of my family two years ago! And I didn't sell you out! You _deserved_ to be put in jail for killing Mom! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW, BITCH!"

"Urusai," Prim said quietly. "You don't have the right to place judgement on me. Now get the hell up and start moving already. Fuckin' bastard."

"That's _bitch_ to you, bitch," I spat as she forced me up. The ground had warmed my body enough that I felt a sensation like a thousand needles were poking me - - I was thawing. I tried wiggling my fingers and winced as they throbbed in protest, but moved. I tensed my arm muscles, trying to break free of whatever was holding me back.

No dice. Whatever it was must've been incredibly strong.

"It's Mr. 3's Candle Lock," my ex-sister explained, as if reading my mind. I glared at her. I could see her clearly now and it was hard to imagine her as the innocent, kindly twelve-year-old girl she'd once been. Then when she was thirteen, she'd started on her heroin and it was all down-hill from there. But even before the heroin days, she'd always been moody. Prim hadn't been present at a single one of my birthday parties. She'd always distanced herself from other people.

Now her skin was wrinkly and old-looking, the result of years spent on drugs and in prison. She had a cold, evil smirk.

"Mr. 3," I muttered. "Yeah, that's right. I remember now. He caught Vivi, Nami, and Zoro in wax... so I guess I was caught, too?"

"Well, duh," she huffed. "You really are a baka. I don't know how the Straw Hats put up with you..."

She continued marching me through the jungle, though things were a lot quieter after that. I wasn't about to risk breaking free when I couldn't even move my arms. If all I had to fight a jungle full of dinosaurs was my feet, I was as good as dead.

I tried to figure out what Prim's powers were. She'd said her mom was Lady Denoue, the demoness of winter. My upper body had somehow been frozen, the lingering pins-and-needles feeling a constant reminder. She must have some kind of powers over ice or coldness or something like that. I remembered fighting that Devil Fruit user Toshiro in Loguetown, how each time he'd sent a blast of cold wind at me, I'd gotten slower.

Damn. If I was gonna go have to fight a battle like that against _Prim_, I might be in trouble. She'd earned her first black belt in karate years before I'd even started watching anime. And although the years in prison may've been hard on her, she would've had to have trained hard if she wanted to beat me.

As I prattled on in my head, we came across a clearing. I saw Brogy and Dorry both lying on the ground, Brogy coated in hardened wax and Dorry unconscious. Standing in front of them and laughing was a strange dude wearing a blue-and-white striped vest and tan pants. His hair was tied up in the shape of a number 3.

"Mr. 3," I said.

He turned and grinned, and I could see glasses on his forehead. "Ah," he commented. "Miss Holy Saturday. So you're the first one back."

"'Miss Holy Saturday?'" I repeated, glaring at Prim with even more intensity. "So you're a part of Baroque Works now!?"

"Hai, hai," she said dismissively.

Someone else laughed behind me. My eye twitched in annoyance as I recognized the voice of that partner agent we'd met in Whiskey Peak, Miss... uh... Miss Valentine. Yeah, her. I turned my head to see the girl holding a struggling Vivi hostage.

"You fiend," rasped Brogy as he tried to get up. The wax, however, was doing its job perfectly and keeping him still.

Mr. 3 laughed at him without any warmth. "Once my Candle Jacket has solidified, it's practically as hard as steel!" he announced. He held up his hand and created a candle with the shape of Brogy's head. "The unlimited strength of a Giant means nothing once it's been restrained. We used our heads, so we didn't have to strain ourselves fighting you face-to-face."

"Bastard," I hissed. "I suppose you did the same to us? Too scared to try fighting honorably, eh? You know you're too weak to fight power with power, so you use wimpy attacks to defeat your opponents. That's not winning at all, dumbass."

Prim slapped me again, the stinging pain making me cry out.

"Diamond-chan!" Vivi cried out. "You were captured as well?"

"What does it it look like?" I said sarcastically.

"YOU'RE STILL PMS'ING!?"

Meanwhile, Mr. 3 was ignoring us and continuing with his dumbass speech. "You let your victory get to your head, Red Ogre Brogy," he told the giant. Brogy glared at him through eyes filled with a kind of possessed rage. "Oh, don't stare at me like that," the number agent mock-whined. "I'm just _overcome_ with fear! Hahahaha!

"It felt good, didn't it? That long, long duel finally coming to an end. You fought honorably for over a century, am I correct? Is not the taste of this victory exceptional? Even though there may have been some outside assistance this time. Am I wrong?"

"You cur!" gasped Brogy. "Can it be...?"

"Hahahaha!" the bastard chortled. "But in the end, the true victory is I!"

"THAT'S NOT WINNING!" I roared.

Everyone stared at me. Mr. 3 raised an eyebrow.

I panted in rage. "Intervening with a sacred battle to make it slide in one way is the worst thing you could possibly do to a warrior. Brogy didn't win and he knows it. What he was feeling after that last battle wasn't joy, dumbass! It was regret!"Vivi glared at the criminal. "So that was your plan, Mr. 3!" She yelled in sudden pain as Miss Valentine squeezed her arm.

He blinked. "Oh, you're here."

"WE'VE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG!" she told him, tic-pulsing.

"_Now_ who's PMS'ing?" I said smugly.

"Urusai..."

Behind her, Miss Valentine wiggled her fingers in greeting like a bitch. "We have brought the prisoners!" she announced.

"The traitor of our organization and the people who know the Boss's identity," said the voice of Mr. 5. I glared in his direction. His maroon suit couldn't have looked less idiotic.

Mr. 3 frowned. "You were slow about it. I've been waiting a long time."

My jaw dropped and my eye twitched at his stupidity. "BUT WE'VE BEEN RIGHT HERE!"

_SLAP._

"Urusai," said my sister distastefully as my cheek smarted from the attack. "Mr. 3 may be a complete baka, but he gets the job done. And as of right now, he is my superior... though that won't be for long." I glared at her and clenched my fists, which were shaking in anger. I still couldn't believe that she'd held so much hatred she'd choose to go on the side of the demons, who wanted to destroy the multiverse for whatever reason. And here I was trapped in a position that wouldn't allow me to stop her. I was annoyed. Annoyed with Prim for descending so low that she'd kill the woman who loved her when no others would. Annoyed with myself for not being able to break out of this stupid wax lock. And annoyed with the demons for wanting to destroy not just evil people, but countless innocent citizens, as well.

My neck started to tingle ever so slightly. It wasn't the fading pins-and-needles feeling, but the feeling I got whenever something was happening in the sea, or whenever I was regaining strength.

Slowly but surely, I'd build up up my power.

And then I was gonna destroy these morons.

My comeback started now.

"Anyhow, it makes no difference that the young ladies figured out my little trick," Mr. 3 continued confidently. "There is nothing they can do to stop me now!" The top of the 3 on his head erupted into flames and he drew his arm back, wet wax following it. "Candle Lock!" he called, and threw a glob of wax at Vivi. Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine leaped out of the way and the wax wrapped around the princess's legs quickly, forming into something that looked like a horizontal candle except without the wick. Vivi cried out in surprise and fell face forward.

"Bastard," I hissed, my eye twitching. "So that's what you did to my hands?"

The Baroque Works agent chuckled. "Hai. Mr. 5, bring the swordsman and the other girl to me. I'm starting."

I gritted my teeth. That meant that Zoro and Nami had been caught, too, just like in the anime. I didn't have much time to think, however, because as the lesser number agent went into the jungle, Mr. 3 crossed his hands high in the air, his hair burning in a bigger flame, stuck his arms out to the side, leaned forward, and shouted, "Tokudai Candle Set!" He thrust his arms forward, aiming for a spot just to the right of Brogy, and a large amount of wax flowed forward like a white river.

As Vivi watched on the ground and I was held in place by my ex-sister, the wax collected in the center of the clearing and started forming a giant blob. Slowly, the blob took shape and began to resemble a spire with a cake-like bottom. The spire in the middle of the cake grew taller and thinner around the middle. A hemisphere stemmed from the top of the spire, with more mini spires shooting out near the outside of the flat surface on top. The mini spires hardened into candles that erupted in flames, and the hemisphere morphed into something that resembled half of a jack-o-lantern. Kinda weird.

"So this is Mr. 3's power..." Vivi gasped.

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" I wondered, my eye twitching at the stupidity. "Some kinda Halloween-themed wax cake?"

"Beats me," Prim admitted, not even slapping me this time. "Just what the hell are you doing, Mr. 3? This is no time for playing around! I wanna see Damon terrified for his life!"

I tic-pulsed. "MY NAME'S DIAMOND, DAMMIT!"

"What's he doing?" Brogy asked, ignoring our antics.

"Here they are," reported Mr. 5, having just come out of the jungle. I turned to him and saw him dragging Nami and Zoro behind him before throwing them on the ground. They both had candles on their arms like I did.

"Nami! Zoro!" I called.

"D-Diamond-chan?" Nami grunted, lifting her head off the dirt in my direction. "They got you, too?"

I nodded and looked back at the... whatever it was. "Yeah, but the thing we've gotta worry about now is that thing. It looks stupid, but it has to serve some kind of purpose."

"How disappointing," scoffed Mr. 5. He stepped forward and slammed his foot down on Zoro's head. The swordsman tried to glare at him, but couldn't move. "To think I was defeated by this low-class bunch. It's so embarrassing I'm ashamed of myself."

I snorted. "Of course you were defeated by us. You guys are just weak. The only way you can win is by hiding in the shadows and stopping your opponent from moving with dumbass techniques. If you actually tried a fair battle, you'd loose every freakin' time."

"Didn't I tell you to urusai?" growled Prim, squeezing my wrist even harder. "I could beat you in my sleep."

"You're not the boss of me," I shot back. "Only Lucy is. She's my captain, and only she can tell me what to do. Well, technically Zoro can too, since he's pretty much the unofficial first mate, but you know what I mean. And Nami... she's just scary..."

She sweatdropped. "That's your ADHD speaking, isn't it?"

I pouted. "Hai..."

"I have to agree with the brunette on this one," Mr. 3 conceded, chuckling at a groveling Mr. 5. "If you weren't weak, you would've been able to beat them."

It was my turn to sweatdrop this time. "I was insulting _you_, ya know..."

"Eh? What are you guys saying?" the bomb-man grumbled, unamused.

"Nothing," his superior told him. "Just place them on the Candle Set, will you?"

"Set?" growled Zoro.

"Is there an echo here?" I asked.

"IF YOU DON'T STOP IT WITH THAT STUPID GAG, I'M GONNA SLAP YOU!" Vivi barked.

Nami face-faulted, finally noticing the wax creation. I still couldn't quite figure out what it was supposed to be, and she couldn't either. "Eh?" she gasped, looking at the tower. "What is _that_ thing?"

"Nami-san," mumbled Vivi. "Mr. Bushido."

"Vivi?" the navigator cried. "What are you and Diamond doing here!? Weren't you two with Lucy?"

"Yeah, well, she was trapped under a mountain, I ran off to get back at Baroque Works for interfering with Brogy and Dorry's fight, and Vivi... I dunno about her," I replied casually.

"If you mean Lucy," said Mr. 5 smugly, "I finished her off. It was an easy job."

Zoro scoffed and smirked. "You?"

They ignored him and threw us onto the Candle Set. As we landed, the wax around our hands and Vivi's feet melted away, merging with the hardened wax of the Set. The floor of the Set melted as our feet penetrated it and then hardened again, leaving us standing in material harder than cement and facing away from the Set. Above us, the half-pumpkin head started spinning.

Nami was the farthest on the left. I was the first to her right, and Zoro was beside me. Vivi was on the farthest right.

"Welcome, minna!" chuckled the user of the Wax-Wax Fruit dramatically. "Welcome to my Service Set!"

* * *

**OVER-DRAMATIC COMMERCIAL BREAK THINGIE**

* * *

"So this is what it feels like, ne?" mused Zoro. "To be a candle on a cake."

Nami craned her neck up to look at the half-pumpkin head, which was spinning fast enough to make me dizzy watching it. "What's that thing doing spinning around up there?" she asked. The redhead looked down at her feet and her muscles tensed. She heaved an exasperated sigh. "I can't move my legs at all."

"Why the hell would he let us move?" the swordsman pointed out. "He's our enemy, ya know."

"My hands are free," I muttered, smirking. "I can finally go on the offensive now!"

Vivi looked at me and blinked. "Eh? Do you have something planned, Diamond-chan? ...Say, you seemed to know Miss Holy Saturday. What's your relationship with her?"

I gritted my teeth. "She's my step-sister. Or at least, she used to be. I don't consider her as my family anymore because she killed my mom, June Diamond Digger. Mom wouldn't give her money to buy more heroin, and in a fit of rage, Prim stabbed her to death. I only know because my friend Jason stumbled across a witness who had been in hiding. She was supposed to be in jail, but it turns out she's a demigod, too. Apparently her mom, the demoness of winter, teleported her here like Aeso did to me."

"Nani?" gasped Nami. "She's a demigod, too?"

Suddenly something started coming down, like little fakes of white dust. The navigator gasped and looked around. Mr. 3 cackled and shouted, "Enjoy the taste of the Candle Service! The wax falling down from above will turn your bodies into wax figures. There is something that even _my_ artistic skills cannot create: the perfect human statue. Just as the name implies, you will soon become wax statues with souls. Oohoohoo! For the sake of my art, you will die."

"Like hell I will!" roared Nami, crossing her arms and leaning forward stubbornly. "Why the hell do we have to be your 'art?' Brogy-san! Don't just lay there!"

Zoro frowned, his arms folded across his chest. "The purple haired lady's the one who killed your mom, eh?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Primrose Joyce Digger. She's not actually my step-sister. My mom adopted her from an orphanage and tried to raise her as best she could. But Prim never appreciated the lengths Mom went to keep her happy, like karate lessons and nice clothes even though we could only afford an apartment in the city. Now urusai unless you wanna turn into a wax statue." (I'd finally remembered what the purpose for the Candle Set was.) "I'm trying to concentrate."

The local Marimo tried to hack through the wax, but it was too hard for him to cut it at his current level.

I sent my thoughts out to the water vapor in the air, commanding it to condense and wrap around fists. It did so, and I thrust my hands forward remembering a move I learned during my month and a half of training. Water flowed through the air on a direct path to an unsuspecting Prim, who was talking to Miss Valentine, evidently pleased that I couldn't do anything to her when my legs were trapped.

How wrong she was.

The watery tentacles wrapped around her stomach and hardened enough to grasp her solidly. She gasped in surprise, but before she could react, I commanded the water to return to my hands. It snapped back to me quickly, flinging her through the air with it. I leaned my neck back and shouted, "Tempest Grappling Gun!" Then I smashed my forehead into Prim's back when she was close enough.

Think of it as Lucy's Gum-Gum Bell, except without a stretching neck.

Prim - - er, sorry, Miss Holy Saturday - - was flung back into her partners, who gasped.

"Miss Holy Saturday!" cried Mr. 3 as she tumbled to the ground "Are you alright?"

"Damn," she muttered, picking herself up and glaring at me. "He pulled a fast one on me. Yeah, I'm fine."

"_She_," I corrected her, then concentrated my efforts on the wax. I unsheathed Chiwohiku and held it high above my head, putting two fingers in front of my mouth. "Destroy all enemies, Chiwohiku!" I roared, and above me, the sword turned into yellow light, morphing into a long, thin rapier. "Blue Getsuga Tensho!"

Once enough water vapor had been built into my sword, I flung it at the wax in between my feet. The part of the 'cake' between my feet split in two, making Zoro raise an eyebrow. I leaned bent down and shouted, "Tempest Boxing!" Although I was tired from the effort of using Blue Getsuga Tensho, I repeatedly smashed my water-covered fists into the separated wax. Hairline cracks opened up in the surface, then finally it shattered around me. I kicked off of the 'cake' with a quick Flash Step.

"I don't believe it!" I heard Mr. 3 gasp as I dashed around the clearing, looking for an opening in Prim. "She... she broke through my wax!"

I tuned out everything else and concentrated on my ex-step sister. She was tensed up and her eyes were following me around the clearing. That was a bit surprising. So she could keep up with my Flash Step, huh? Impressive. Apparently she wasn't just an anger-management druggie with a black belt anymore.

I charged forward, raising Chiwohiku above my head. "Tsunami Slash!" I swung down at her in an overhead strike enhanced with a powerful wave, but the purplette simply disappeared.

"Nani!?" I gasped. I looked around the clearing, but I couldn't see anything except Brogy breaking out of his wax bindings, then getting trapped again, except this time wax spikes stabbed into his hands and feet, making me gasp in pain.

"You're too easily distracted!" Prim's voice called out from behind me. "Blizzard Fist!"

My eyebrows shot up and I turned... just in time to get a freezing fist in my face. The cold seemed to enhance the pain and I was sent flying to the side, smashing into the wax underneath Vivi, who was covered in patches of hardened wax.

"Diamond-chan!" the bluenette cried out.

"That stung," I grumbled, standing up.

"Hurry up and get us out of this wax already!" Nami yelled at me, tic-pulsing.

"Urusai," I told her. "You saw how strong that punch was, didn't you!? It could knock out a normal person, maybe even kill them! For now, you're safer there!"

"But - -"

"He's right, you know," Prim spoke up. I looked at her with a tic-pulse. She was standing there coolly, her black jacket and red shirt rippling in the wind. Her fist was raised, snow and ice swirling around it like a frozen version of my Tempest Fist. "Mr. 6 and I weren't previously the Mr. 2 pair for nothing. We were only demoted because we got a bit... overconfident."

I gulped. "You were the... the Mr. 2 pair!?" That couldn't be good. Mr. 1 had the power of the Steel-Steel Fruit and couldn't be hurt unless you could dent or cut through steel. If Mr. 6 and his partner had that kind of power, which was confirmed by the punch I'd just tasted, then folks we've got trouble, right here in River City. Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for... eh, you know what, I'll just stop now.

Brogy was completely unable to move. Zoro was trying to cut off his legs. Nami had inhaled too much wax dust and was choking. Vivi was chewing out Mr. 3 with as much dignity as she could muster, being stuck in place on a wax cake with a pumpkin head.

I grunted and tensed my muscles again. I Flash Stepped again and ran to Prim, jumping into the air and lashing out with my foot in a midair roundhouse kick. Unfortunately, it was completely ineffective. My sister just stared at me in boredom and blocked it with a quick high block.

I was halted in midair, starting to fall backwards.

"Blizzard Ascension," muttered Prim, and I felt a hard kick to my back. Crying out in sudden pain and nearly biting my tongue, I was thrown into the air.

I spun through the air crazily, tossed high into the sky. My back was aching and I wondered if my my spine had been broken, or at least ruptured. I drew a large sphere of water into the sky above me and splashed into it, coming to a complete stop. I started building up pressure above my shoulders and head, using a move I had created that was like the opposite of Tempest Rocket. Unfortunately, I couldn't release the pressure, because suddenly ice crept up along the sphere.

"Blizzard Lock," came Prim's voice, distorted because of the water.

"Dammit!" I cursed. "It's... really cold."

The ice froze the water around my feet, making me weaker and weaker. It continued up to my thighs, then to my waist, then to my chest. Now only my head was in warm water, and the rest of me was freezing. I had completely lost control of the sphere by this time, but it was still hanging in midair - - again, Prim's powers must've made this possible.

The ice closed around my head, and my vision faded to blackness.

Below me, I could just make out the small forms of Lucy, Usopp, and Carue crashing into the clearing, though I could barley see them through the thick ice and my waning sight.

A second later, I couldn't see anything at all, but I could hear Lucy's panicked shout of "DIAMOND-CHAN!"

Then I knew nothing.

* * *

**And another shitty cliffhanger. Teehee! I love playing with my fans like this. *cue evil laughter* Well, anyway, how many of you were surprised by the identity of Miss Holy Saturday? Wasn't that a really awesome thing to do!? I originally had something else planned for her, but then I had the thought that I'd need to explain Diamond's mom's death sometime, and this was the perfect way to do it. Plus, this battle really proves the fact that Damon/Diamond is NOT a Gary Stu/Mary Sue character. She was beaten pretty easily, even with her awesome powers.  
**

Diamond: ...

Lucy: AH! Diamond-chan's a Popsicle! Don't worry, I'm coming!

Diamond: ...

Lucy: SAY SOMETHING!

Diamond: ...

Zoro and Usopp: Uh... she's kind of frozen. She can't speak.

Lucy: EH!?

Vivi: More importantly, GET US OUT OF HERE! WE'RE HARDENING AND DIAMOND-CHAN'S DYING!

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you like the story so far and haven't done so yet, I suggest you follow and/or favorite so that you can be updated whenever I post a new chapter - - which is actually fairly often. (I have too much time on my hands, and I'm practically brimming with ideas for this story.) Please leave a review saying what you liked, what you didn't like, suggestions you have for future chapters, how surprising you think this chapter was, et cetera! I love to hear your feedback, so please review! Also, note that although I appreciate popularity immensely, I don't find it necessary to continue writing this series.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	17. No 17: Water VS Ice, Rubber VS Wax!

**As bad as her position looks, Diamond's not finished yet, folks! There's more to her fight! She still has to beat up that dumbass Prim for killing her mother and joining the demon/Senshi army! And so I have a new chapter for you to read! Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** There might be, there might not be. Depends on whether or not I feel like it. XD

**gamelover41592: **She just doesn't exist in this world. As far as I'm concerned, Miss Holy Saturday IS Miss Mother's Day, it's just that the title's different.

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Yes, I am quite evil, aren't I? Heheheh! Oh, and that's another great question! I do have a very good reason for that, and it WILL be explained in the future... but not right now 'cuz I'm evil and all. lol. Not all the enemies will be demigods... but from now on, whenever the Straw Hats each have to fight enemy pairs, the weakest of Damon's pair will be the demigod while the strongest will be the demon. The gods are kinda like Dumbledore. They set everything up for Damon and make it possible for him to do what has to be done. For instance, if Aeso didn't exist, the whole Luffy-is-a-girl universe would be screwed, because Damon wouldn't have his water powers, and might not even exist himself. Not that he does anyway, because this is entirely fiction, but you know what I'm saying. P.S., you better give Zoro's sword back to him. He's kinda glaring at you and unsheathing his other swords right now...

**Kakusei: **Yep, pretty good match for Damon! Yeah, he'll be able to change back and forth in later chapters, but only under a certain condition. Not at will. Though it would be pretty cool that way.

**Otaku-san32: **Hai! And kick ass she will! :D

**Chapter 17 start! (Wow, 17 already? That was freakin' quick.)**

* * *

Ocean VS Ice, Rubber VS Wax!

Lucy and Diamond are Attacked by Magic!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_The ice froze the water around my feet, making me weaker and weaker. It continued up to my thighs, then to my waist, then to my chest. Now only my head was in warm water, and the rest of me was freezing. I had completely lost control of the sphere by this time, but it was still hanging in midair - - again, Prim's powers must've made this possible._

_The ice closed around my head, and my vision faded to blackness._

_Below me, I could just make out the small forms of Lucy, Usopp, and Carue crashing into the clearing, though I could barley see them through the thick ice and my waning sight._

_A second later, I couldn't see anything at all, but I could hear Lucy's panicked shout of "DIAMOND-CHAN!"_

_Then I knew nothing._

Primrose Joyce Digger hadn't always been a cold, rebellious woman. In fact, back when I was just a kid, she had saved me once. That was the day we'd first met, and it was also the day my family's destiny had been decided.

I remember that I had been in sixth grade at the time, so I had been, what... eleven? Twelve? Something like that. The day I met Prim was a warm day, the sky slightly overcast with a cool breeze rolling off of Hudson Bay. As I walked alone through the city, checking out various video game shops and comic stores, I was suddenly stopped in my tracks by a group of kids who picked on me a lot back then - - Ken Burgess and his little gang of baddies. They thought they were so cool, with their windswept black hair, their rich daddies, and their skateboarding. In reality, the rest of us kids just thought they were morons.

Which, of course, they were. They failed pretty much every test they ever took, except for one that our social studies teacher gave us on weapons used in medieval times. They got the best grades in the class on that one. But enough of that rambling.

"We're gonna pay you back for the other day," sneered Ken, raising his w-shaped eyebrow coolly as he backed me into an alley behind a Game Stop and a Dunkin' Donuts.

One of his friends, a fatty named Jake, smirked. "Yeah, you turned us into the office! Snitch!"

I was sweating bullets, because back then I'd been a bit of a wimp. "W-Wait!" I gulped, holding my hands up protectively. "I didn't w-want to! My mom s-saw the bruises on m-my back and re-p-ported to the p-principal!"

"Yeah right," scoffed a blond kid called Dean. "You're just a baby!"

"Baby!" Jake cat-called. "Baby, baby, baby, baby!"

I gritted my teeth and stepped backward. "P-Please, just... just..."

Ken cracked his knuckles and approached me, smirking. "Please what? Forgive you? Ha! We're gonna beat your ass!"

"Hey, leave him alone," said a soft yet stern voice.

Everyone blinked and looked behind Ken, Jake, and Dean. Standing there was a small girl who looked no older than us, but had an aura that spoke of things that no kid should experience. I could see the pain of being alone in her eyes from here, a pain I'd had ever since grandma died last summer. (Mom was cool, but she was pretty much the only person who cared about me at that time.) The girl had hair that had been died purple and her eyes were two different colors. I found that a bit creepy. Her gaze was so cold and calculating it felt like she could stare straight through you into your soul. She wore a simple red dress and high heels.

The newcomer raised her eyebrows. "Are you punks deaf or something? Leave the poor kid alone or I'll fight you myself!"

Ken grunted. "A girl? You think we'd fight a weak girl? Get real."

Rage flared in her eyes. "I'm not weak! My name is Primrose Joyce Spencer, but you can call me Prim. I've lived in an orphanage so long that I've taught myself how to fight! Bring it!"

"An orphan girl? Heh. This'll be easy. Get 'er, Jake."

The very much overweight kid grinned and stepped forward, cracking his knuckles. Prim stared at him through bored, half-lidded eyes. As Jake threw a sloppy, yet powerful haymaker, the purple-haired kid jumped into the air, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and flipped over him to the other side, delivering a fast back kick upon her landing. My eyes widened in shock and awe as the heavy hitter kissed the cement.

Ken's eyes widened, too, and he looked at Dean in panic. "H-Hey! What are you waiting for?" he demanded. "Beat her up already! It was... it was a lucky shot! Luck!"

Dean gulped and regarded the approaching Prim with understandable fear. I was worried for myself, too. What if Prim decided that I was so weak it was a crime and punched me out? As Dean reluctantly ran forward, a bead of sweat dripping down his face, Prim ducked under a high kick and drove her fist into the kid's solar plexus. It was powerful enough to knock the wind out of him and send him falling back a few feet.

"Amazing," I gasped.

Prim dusted her hands off and cracked her knuckles, glaring at Ken. "Well, punk?" she spat dangerously, making the bully back away in fear. "You gonna join your friends on the ground? Or are you gonna run with your tail between your legs and save your sorry butt?"

Ken gave an unmanly squeak of fright and hightailed it out of there, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

We watched him go, a little sweatdrop on the back of my head. "Wow, what a wimp," I muttered in surprise. I'd been tormented by the kid for years and here he ran away from a girl. Albeit, the girl was an amazing fighter, but still. If I'd have known it was so easy to scare Ken, I'd have tried it years ago. I turned to Prim gratefully. "Thanks," I said, smiling.

The girl shrugged. "It's no big deal. I hate guys who pick on innocent kids."

We went our separate ways after that, but when I got home I told Mom all about her and begged her to adopt Prim. Someone who had saved me didn't deserve to live a lonely life. We saved her from the orphanage, and for a few years we were a happy family of three. But Prim slowly grew colder and colder.

And then she started taking heroin. As they say, the rest is history.

* * *

_Dammit..._ I cursed. _How could this have happened to Prim? She'd been so cool back then... Wait a minute, how am I thinking this? Am I... Am I alive?_

Coming to that conclusion shocked me. When the ice had closed over my head, I was sure I was a goner. But now I wasn't freezing anymore. In fact, I was warm. And was that wind buffeting me? I had the strangest sensation, almost like I was falling...

FALLING!?

My eyes snapped open. Sure enough, I was falling through the air, about to hit the clearing floor. Little shards of ice were tumbling through the air with me, and I could just make out a long, tan blur flashing back to the ground, followed by the sound of a rubberband snapping.

"The fuzznugget!?" I freaked, my long hair whipped up with the force of the strong upward draft.

I crashed to the ground and created a small girl-shaped hole. When I finally shook off the dizziness from the landing and scrambled up to the top of the hole, I saw Vivi, Nami, and Zoro had been mostly covered in wax (though Zoro was standing in a cool pose with his sword held high in the air, much to Nami's annoyance), as well as Usopp sitting valiantly on Carue, and a panting Lucy who was in a horse stance with her arms pulled back at the ready. She was facing my direction and looking relieved.

"You're alive!" she giggled. "Shishishi!"

"Very good, Lucy," Usopp approved. "My plan to save Diamond-chan worked perfectly!"

I blinked and looked around. Prim was glaring at my captain in a mask of anger, Mr. 3 looked shocked, and Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine were just sort of standing there. There was also a little girl in a cloud-design dress eating cookies that I hadn't noticed before.

"I _am_ alive..." I agreed, astounded. "How?"

"Gum-Gum Gatling. That ice was pretty hard, though..."

"You saved me?"

"Sure did!"

"A-Arigatou..."

"Thank goodness you're alright," breathed Vivi in relief.

I climbed the rest of the way out of the hole and glared at Prim, cracking my knuckles. Even though she'd saved me in the past countless times and had even tutored me in self defense, I wouldn't forgive her for killing Mom and trying to kill all those innocent people that she'd said she'd protect.

Lucy, meanwhile, jumped back into action, fighting Mr. 3. Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine ran to start fighting Usopp and Carue, and the two wimps took off into the forest.

I drew water around my fist and pointed at Prim sharply. "You caught me off guard last time!" I yelled. "I won't loose again!"

"YOU HAVE TOO MUCH PRIDE!" Nami deadpanned.

Prim raised her eyebrow, a bored look still on her ugly face. At one time, it had been pretty, but drugs and prison had turned it wrinkly and just plain unpleasant to look at. "Eh? Hontou? The only reason you survived at all was because of the warm climate of this island and your captain breaking the ice you were trapped in. Are you sure you can survive another ice attack when you're a demigod of the ocean? Coldness is your weak point, you know. Just like water slows down when it is cold, so do you, even more so than most humans."

"So that's it," I said. "I was wondering why cold weather affects me so much. I appreciate the information, but you're still goin' down!" I sent out my thoughts, looking for Chiwohiku. It had been thrown somewhere into the jungle when Prim had knocked me into the sky. My neck tingled as I found it and I summoned it back to my hand. Water flowed up from my hand and into the broadsword. (My Sukiru Byo - - Skill Second - - had apparently deactivated itself while I was frozen.)

"Tempest Riptide!" I called, swiping in a circular motion. Water shot out in all directions, though I forced it away from Lucy's fight and the Candle Set so I wouldn't hurt my friends. Wherever the water hit, the landscape was torn up. Prim, however, wasn't even fazed, and she somehow managed to dodge all the hundreds of droplets that had been aimed at her.

"Dammit," I muttered. "If I'm gonna win this fight, I'm gonna have to get faster... a lot faster."

My ex-sister vanished and I felt something behind me. I raised my sword just in time to block a downward, double-fisted strike with the flat of my blade, though Prim followed up with a leg sweep. I jumped over it, having noticed the tension in her muscles, and twisted, slamming my own foot into her side and actually managing to hit. This time, my kick was enhanced with water.

"Tempest Leg!" I yelled.

Prim leaned with the attack and wrapped a swirling mixture of ice and snow around both hands. "Blizzard Bazooka!" she said, slamming her palms at me with lightning momentum. I rolled backward and came up crouching.

I activated my Sukiru Byo again, changing Chiwohiku into a rapier, and twirled it quickly in my hands, shouting the name of my attack: "Lightning Tempest Boomerang!" I threw my sword at my sister like a Frisbee and it spun at her, cutting through the air. It was little more than a blur, and Prim's eyes were a little wider as she stepped over to the side.

She wasn't quick enough, and Chiwohiku cut open a small wound in the side of my ex-sister's neck. I summoned it back to its sheath, smirking.

Meanwhile, Lucy had been caught by Mr. 3's Candle Lock. She grinned, stretched a hand over to Brogy's helmet, wrapped it around one of his horns, and flung herself through the air.

"Gum-Gum Hammer!" she yelled, smashing the Candle Lock into the tower part of the Candle Set. The tower broke in two, falling away from the rest of the Set, though the half-pumpkin head fell straight down onto the top layer of the 'cake.' It started spinning even faster, and as I watched out of the corner of my eye, the wax spread along Nami, Vivi, and Zoro's bodies even quicker. Mr. 3 trapped Lucy's arm in another Candle Lock, but she ignored it and Gum-Gum Pistol-ed him with the same arm, using it to break through a wall of wax the agent had made and punch him away. That was... rather simple.

At the same time, I finally landed a Lightning Tempest Fist on Prim, sending her flying and rolling a few feet. I smirked at her and charged, thinking I'd follow it up while I still had the chance, but...

"Lucy! Diamond-chan!" Nami shouted. "Destroy the pumpkin while you still have the chance!"

I turned and looked at her. I suddenly didn't want to help her anymore. "No," I said blandly, at the same time as Lucy, who was standing still.

"Why should I?" she agreed, looking bored. "I don't want to save you guys."

I nodded, crossing my arms. "Yeah, I just don't feel like it right now. Save yourself, dumbass."

Vivi's face went shark-like. "OKAY, THIS IS TAKING PMS'ING TOO FAR! AND WHAT THE HECK!? LUCY-SAN'S DOING IT TOO!?"

"What... what are you guys saying?" Nami gasped, eyes wide in shock.

_What _am_ I saying? Why did I just say that?_ I wondered, shocked and disappointed in myself. _They're my nakama. I have to save them. I have to... but I... but my body... it won't respond. It doesn't _want_ to save them..._

"Colors Trap," said the cookie-eating girl.

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK AT TENSE MOMENT! *cue evil laughter***

* * *

The pumpkin head was spinning in eternal circles and the air was warm. Prim had stood up and was wiping a trickle of blood from her mouth. Wax dust was descending on my friends, trapping them in a tomb of hard, white powder. And I didn't feel like doing a thing about it.

"Oi, Lucy! Diamond!" Zoro called. "What the hell are you two doing!? We're outta time here! Quit screwing around and help us!"

"Yeah, I got it," panted Lucy.

"I know," I agreed.

"If you got it, then help us!" Vivi shouted.

"Yeah, Lucy! Diamond-chan!" Nami encouraged us.

"I get it, but..." my captain started.

I nodded, panting a little myself. "...but we don't wanna save you."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!? WE'RE TURNING INTO WAX FIGURES! UNDERSTAND!? WE'RE GOING TO _DIE!"_

"Yeah, but I don't feel like it," Lucy muttered.

"WE DON'T CARE IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT!" yelled the three trapped Straw Hats, looking like a very angry family of sharks.

_Why!? Why won't my body respond!? _I could feel my face twist into a look of pain, pain that I couldn't help my friends when they needed it most. Prim saw this and smirked.

"Now _that's_ the look I like to see," she sneered. "Arigatou, Miss Goldenweek."

"Sure," said the kid as she nibbled on another cookie.

Prim strutted up to me and wrapped her fist in ice and snow. Ice froze my feet in place and she punched me with her cold-enhanced fist. I leaned to the side, but wasn't sent flying because of the ice. She punched my other cheek. Again and again I was beat up, and I didn't lift a finger to defend myself.

I _couldn't_ lift a finger to defend myself. My body wouldn't react.

"Miss Goldenweek!" Vivi gasped, narrowing her eyes. "You're responsible for this!"

_WHAM!_ The most recent punch was so powerful the ice cracked, but it reformed immediately after.

"Colors Trap, Betrayal Black," Miss Goldenweek began. "Once you touch the black paint, no matter how precious your nakama may be to you, you will betray them."

_WHAM!_

I coughed blood, but still didn't try to defend myself.

"What does she mean?" Nami asked, mystified. "Tell me what's happening!"

_WHAM!_

Vivi decided to take pity on her. "She is a 'realist painter.' She can take the emotion evoked by any color and make it real! Her retained color images allow her to use colored paint to directly influence a person's mind!"

_Oh, that's right. I remember this from the anime now._

"'Influence?'" Zoro grumbled. "This is bad! Those simple minded bakas are even more susceptible to suggestions than normal people!"

I tic-pulsed. "Oi, you're looping me in with her!?"

"YOU STILL HAVE ENOUGH CONTROL TO BE ANNOYED BY THAT!?" Nami screeched. Then she sighed. "So we just have to get them off of the paint, right? Lucy, Diamond! You have to move away - -"

"No, that won't work!" Vivi cut her off. She turned to us. "Lucy-san, Diamond-chan! Please do NOT leave that black paint circle NO MATTER WHAT! Please! We don't want you two to save us!"

"You don't want me to save you?" I growled, tensing and running forward. "THEN I _WILL!_ TEMPEST CANNON!"

Two layers of water wrapped around both of my fists as I ran, and I smashed them into a surprised Prim's face. She was sent flying back again and, finally out of the paint circle, I paused, panting. No, I couldn't save them until Prim was defeated. She'd kill them if they escaped now.

"Huh?" said Lucy, rubbing her head. "I felt kinda weird there for a minute."

"Yeah," I agreed, remembering the strange feeling. "We were under Miss Goldenweek's Colors Trap attack." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of a paintbrush and I blocked it with my sword, stopping it from touching me at the last moment. Miss Goldenweek was standing there, a palette in her hand and a paintbrush dipped in yellow in her other.

Damn, she was pretty fast for just a little kid.

Meanwhile, Lucy was bursting into laughter.

I narrowed my eyes. "What did you do now, brat?" I hissed.

She stared at me, unimpressed. "Colors Trap, Laughing Yellow. Bad girl, blocking my attack." She turned into a blur again and I Flash Stepped away while Lucy rolled on the ground in laughter. She had some weird yellow symbol on the back of her shirt.

"Blizzard Boxing," came Prim's voice. I blinked and suddenly she was Flash Stepping at the same pace as me, running along side me with matching speed. Both of her hands were wrapped in ice and snow, and I stopped to dodge them. The onslaught of attacks was very fast - - basically a frozen version of my own Tempest Boxing.

"Two can play that game," I told her. "Tempest Boxing!"

Punches rained down on each of us, though most were canceled out by the other person's attacks. I growled as I felt another punch land on my cheek, cold creeping through my body, and I increased the ferocity of my attacks. As we traded punches, Usopp and Carue came tearing out of the jungle, chased by a very exasperated Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine. They ran into Lucy she was knocked to the side. Her laughter stopped.

I grinned. "See?" I asked my ex-sister. "No matter what your pals can come up with, we can defeat 'em."

"But can you defeat me?" she wondered through half-lidded eyes.

"Sure can!" As we fought, I wrapped a second layer of water around my hands, increasing the brutality of my punches. I smashed my knuckles against Prim's and her eyes widened in sudden pain. I added a third layer, though it was enough to get me panting again.

The extra water healed my wounds and made me as fresh as I had been at the start of the fight - - yet that still wasn't enough to beat Prim. If she was a winter demigod, then heat had to be her weak point, and she probably couldn't fight at her full power here. Knowing this, I upped the temperature of the water around my fists... and then something strange happened. I felt myself getting even _faster_ then my normal speed. What power! It was pretty amazing.

"Time to end this battle!" I yelled, and gave one last punch, aiming for the now-beat up Prim's ugly head. But suddenly I only punched the ground, which had a red symbol painted on it, which I was stepping on. The water around my fists went back into the air.

"What the - -" I gasped.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO AIMING!?" Zoro roared, and I looked at Lucy to see her standing on the same symbol, her hands stretching down vertically, touching the ground.

"Colors Trap, Bullfight Red," said Miss Goldenweek monotonously. "You mustn't break that. Mr. 3 will be mad. And if you kill Miss Holy Saturday, Mr. 6 will get very upset. Bad things happen when he's upset." Whatever those bad things were, she didn't sound very worried about them.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Lucy shouted, suddenly looking like a raven-haired, straw-hatted Nami.

"Like a bull charging a red mantle," the little brat explained, "you will now only attack that Bullfight Red mark. Too bad for you."

I tic-pulsed and turned on her with shark teeth, but I couldn't leave the red symbol. "STOP MESSING WITH MY FIGHT, DAMMIT!"

"Arigatou, Miss Goldenweek," Prim sneered. "Even though I could have easily beaten him myself, it's much more fun to see his emotions messed up like this."

"Don't mention it."

"I'm sick and tired of you!" Lucy agreed furiously. "Get the hell outta here! Gum-Gum Bazooka!"

"Tempest Grappling Gun!"

But both attacks simply diverted to the red symbols we stood on.

My eye twitched.

"Is it fun?" asked Miss Goldenweek.

"NO IT FREAKIN' ISN'T, DAMMIT!" I roared.

Nami sighed and shook her head as best she could. "It's no good," she concluded. "This match is completely against them. Their powers have no effect on her."

"STOP COMPARING ME TO HER!"

"Colors Trap, Relaxing Green!"

A green symbol appeared on the back of Lucy's shirt and on the front of my purple-yellow scratchy shirt. As my body walked me over to Miss Goldenweek's blanket and plopped me down for tea with the annoying kid, I couldn't help but think, _At least she had the decency to avoid my leather jacket._

Lucy and I sipped some tea that she gave us. "This is some good tea," we said in unison. The ironic thing was that it actually _was_ pretty good, too.

"I have such a simple younger brother," laughed Prim somewhere off to the side.

"BAKAS!" bellowed Zoro, Nami, and Vivi with tic-pulses.

_Wait a minute_, I thought. _I still have enough control to think for myself, even though my body moves on its own. I can control water with my thoughts. What if I commanded water in the air to wash off the mark on my shirt?_

I sent out my thoughts to the water in the air. Thankfully, it responded and doused me with water, smearing the paint mark but also drenching my leather jacket. I dried off said treasure and dashed away from a mildly surprised Miss Goldenweek.

"I'm free!" I cheered, charging my ex-sister.

"I don't know how you did that, but do it to Lucy, too!" Nami told me.

"Nah, I need to concentrate on fighting."

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

I jumped in the air and swiped at Prim, who managed to dodge by the skin off her teeth. I landed, skidded to a stop, and smirked at her, feeling very proud of myself for figuring out that trick. "Yosha!" I yelled. "Get ready, bitch! 'Cause now I can finally go on full offensive!"

The real turning point in the battle began now.

* * *

Five minutes later, Usopp dashed out of the forest on top of Carue, having lost Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine somewhere back there. What the long-nosed sniper saw terrified him.

Damon... wait, he wanted to be called Diamond now... was locked in battle with that weirdo purple haired lady, though he was smirking confidently and actually looked like he was starting to win for a change.

But that wasn't the problem.

The problem was that Nami, Vivi, and Zoro had been completely covered in wax... _and that moron Lucy was sipping tea with Miss Goldenweek!_

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Usopp bellowed with shark teeth, shocked at how stupid his captain could be sometimes.

* * *

**Pretty awesome chapter, if I do say so myself. We get to see a little more of Diamond's past as a flashback, the battle between her and Prim really takes off, and she figures out how to stop Miss Goldenweek's Colors Trap! And next chapter is the awesome comeback!  
**

Diamond: *fuming* Little brat! Messing with my emotions like that! Imma keel you after I get done with Prim!

Lucy: WHAT THE HELL!? WHAT'S WITH THESE STUPID SYMBOL THINGS!?

Prim: What a moron of a brother I have...

Diamond: What the hell are YOU doing here!? This omake is for protagonists! PROTAGONISTS! Get the hell outta here! And that's 'sister' to you, dumbass!

Zoro: Told you two that you should've struck a cooler pose.

Nami and Vivi: URUSAI, BAKA!

Usopp: How are you three talking? You're supposed to be wax figures.

Nami, Vivi, and Zoro: ...Dunno.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you like this story so far and haven't done so yet, please follow and/or favorite! It's a win-win situation; you get to know when I update this novel, and I get to be more popular. Leave a review on what you liked, what you didn't, or pretty much anything else you have to say about _OP Full Blast: Across the Sands_. Please note that although popularity is much appreciated, it's not necessary for me to update this story.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	18. No 18: The Curtain Closes on the Battle!

**Hey, minna! You guessed it. Another chapter of the rising hit fanfiction has arrived! I'd just like to say thanks to all the people who have stayed with me so far. I know it's been a long journey, and it's only gonna get longer, so thanks for sticking with me! And to those of you who have just started reading this, I hope you can jump along for the ride, too! Now here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** Arigatou! Oh, and I haven't had much time to do that yet. I _will_ try to do my best with helping you out. :)

**Otaku-san32: **lol, Gomen! That's when the episode ended and I'm trying to time my chapter endings with the episode endings as much as possible. *shrugs apologetically* Well, here ya go, bro!

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Yeah, I always liked the battle with Mr. 3 a lot, too. I'm pretty sure it's called the Alabasta Saga. Oh geez, you're a major otaku if you listen to One Piece music while reading One Piece fanfiction... XD But that's a good thing! One Piece is totally awesome. Best freakin' anime ever. :D And I know, right? Opening 17 is TOTALLY AWESOME! And it does sorta fit. *rubs chin thoughtfully* Ha, fun with omake theaters. lol.

**Chapter 18 start!**

* * *

The Curtain Closes on the Battles!

Usopp's Quick Wit and the True Power of Diamond's Curse!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_"I'm free!" I cheered, charging my ex-sister._

_"I don't know how you did that, but do it to Lucy, too!" Nami told me._

_"Nah, I need to concentrate on fighting."_

_"WHAT THE HELL!?"_

_I jumped in the air and swiped at Prim, who managed to dodge by the skin off her teeth. I landed, skidded to a stop, and smirked at her, feeling very proud of myself for figuring out that trick. "Yosha!" I yelled. "Get ready, bitch! 'Cause now I can finally go on full offensive!"_

_The real turning point in the battle began now._

Everyone was wax statues by now. I was still locked in death combat with my ex-sister, Primrose Joyce Digger, and Usopp had set Lucy on fire with one of his Sure-Kill Stars moments before. Now he and Carue were getting pummeled by some kind of bullets from Mr. 5's new gun.

"Tempest Fist!" I roared, wrapping water around my fist and aiming at Prim, the purple-haired, wrinkly-faced woman who had killed my mom two years before as a result of not getting money for heroin. She was dressed in a red dress shirt, a black woman's suit, a black tie, and black pants, making her look like more like an old, evil secretary than a trained killer working for demons and Senshi. She also had black high heels on - - how the hell she could walk in those, I had no idea. Nami had tried to get me to buy some at the fashion store on Swap Island, but I'd fallen over worse than before I'd regained my balance after getting cursed. Sorry if that was kinda confusing, but that's how it was.

"Blizzard Lock," Prim shot back, leaning her head out of the way of my punch. The end of my water-covered fist started freezing and ice crept along the rest of the thin layer of water, making me cold. My punch slowed, allowing her to dodge it, and I panted a little.

I commanded the now-frozen ice to heat up as much as it could without immediately evaporating. I winced as it changed from minus 32 degrees to just below boiling in a matter of seconds. Even _I_ was affected by heat. My right hand felt scalded, but I ignored the burning/itching combination of pain and pulled back for another punch, also wrapping water around my other fist and heating it up. Even though my hands were getting boiled something fierce (I'd have to take a long seawater bath later) I could feel myself get much faster.

I made up a name for the move on the spot. "Tropical Tempest Boxing!" I roared - - areas in the tropics are hot, and the water was hot. So, Tropical Tempest Boxing. An upgraded version of Tempest Boxing.

As I whaled on my sister, she returned punches with equal speed and power gracefully, though her expression never strayed from complete boredom. "Blizzard Boxing."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Lucy standing up, burnt and panting, wearing nothing but charred jean shorts and... well, that was it. I flushed a deep red at the sight of Lucy bare chested (she quickly realized this and covered up with what little remained of her burnt shirt, a bit surprising) and the distraction was enough for Prim to land ten punches in my stomach/chest region in rapid succession.

"Lucy!" I heard Usopp admonish, sounding flustered, as I fell to the ground. "You need to start wearing a bra!"

I shook the thought of the almost-naked Lucy out of my mind, thinking, _What the hell is WRONG with me!? That's my captain I was just staring at!_ Then I glared at Prim, wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of my mouth, and leaped to action once more.

"Tropical Lightning Hawk Blast!" I called, activating my Sukiru Byo again and Flash Stepping behind Prim. She must not have expected the heated super-fast punch, because I successfully drove my fist into the small of her back and sent her flying into the side of the now-unconscious Mr. 3's Candle Set. She choked a little as she inhaled the falling wax dust by accident, and I Flash Stepped over to her, following up with a bone-crunching kick. She recovered from the kick just fine and scored a freezing punch right on my face. My nose felt like it was on fire and I felt a small river of warm blood gush out of it, so I could assume it was broken.

"Yowch!" I yelped, bringing my hand to my nose on reflex. "By nose!"

"Moron," mumbled Prim. "Blizzard Comets." She jumped high into the air, hanging there casually. Then, as I watched in confusion, she suddenly belted out a battle cry and lashed out with her feet rapidly, sending swirling balls of ice and snow raining down on me. My eyes widened and I dodged as best I could. Small craters were created wherever the winter balls connected with the ground, one opening up just to the left of my foot. I squeaked and Flash Stepped away.

_I need to heal my nose,_ I thought to myself. I wrapped water around my whole body and heated it up a little to speed up the healing process. I'd figured out by now that if coldness made everything about me slower, then warmth should do the exact opposite - - speed everything up. Which would also explain why I always felt like I had more energy in hot weather.

In the mean time, Lucy had once more begun battling Mr. 3. It seemed like the Wax Human had managed to recover enough to fight some more. He had made armor from his wax, which had momentarily distracted Lucy with its 'coolness,' but Usopp figured out that we had to set the wax on fire, and Miss Goldenweek confirmed it. Unfortunately, there was nothing to set it on fire with.

"Blizzard Lock," came Prim's voice from somewhere behind me. My eyes widened when I felt a cold hand make contact with my back - - the only part of me not wrapped in warm water. I felt the coldest of cold sensations originate on my the small of my back and spread from there, pervading my body and even freezing my warm layer of water.

"Not again!" I gasped, my breath visible as it came out. I could feel myself shutting down. I panted for breath and tried to warm up the ice around me, but as the hand was brought away from my back, I collapsed to my knees.

"D-Diamond-chan!" Usopp yelled in shock, eyes popping out as he noticed me. "Lucy, Diamond-chan's f-freezing again!"

"Nani!?" my captain demanded, jerking her head around. Her own eyes widened in horror when she saw my weakening form kneeling on the ground. "Yosh! Then we'll have to set her on fire, too!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? SHE MIGHT MELT, WHICH WOULD FREAKING KILL HER!"

"How do you know until you try?" Lucy pointed out.

Prim Flash Stepped in front of me, cutting off my view of the only other people of the Straw Hat crew who could currently move. She did something with her hands, and snow came out of the air, collecting in her hands and creating a white rod that lengthened in her hand. The end of the rod shaped itself to look like a dagger, and suddenly I found myself staring down the shaft of a spear made of snow, hardening into blue ice.

I tried to move my body, but the effort was fruitless.

_Damn it!_ I spat in my mind. _How could I have been so careless that I'd let this happen again!?_

Prim smirked. "What a wonderful expression!"

Mr. 3 was chuckling, too. "See that, Straw Hat? Three of your friends are wax statues, and a fourth is frozen! Even if they are still alive, their last thoughts are those of horror and fear! You can't possibly win!"

"I don't even need 30 seconds, I'll save them right now!" Usopp declared, but his voice seemed like it was echoing down a long tunnel. Through my fading vision, I could see him aim a Sure-Kill Star from his slingshot at the ever-spinning Candle Set, but before he could fire, Mr. 5 fired some kind of bullet from his gun that blew the sniper up.

My eyes widened in shock.

"USOPP!" Lucy bellowed, horrified.

"Didn't you hear him?" Mr. 5 said smugly. "You haven't got a chance of winning!"

"B-Bastard..." I gasped, my voice weak and almost too quiet to be heard. "Don't h-hurt my friends..."

Prim's smirk only grew uglier. "Too much pain for you to handle? Very well. I shall end it for you by delivering the finishing blow. Icicle Spear."

My eyes just had time to widen before the keen icy point of the spear penetrated my chest and stabbed through my heart.

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK!**** YOU REALLY HATE ME RIGHT NOW, DON'T YOU?**

* * *

Cold. I felt so cold. Impossibly cold all over. I also had a strange case of deja vu, like this had happened to me before. But had it? I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember anything, come to think of it. I was also floating in a weird black void, which again felt incredibly familiar, but I couldn't quite place a finger on anything.

Was I dead or alive?

Boy or girl?

Human or animal?

"**Diamond-chan,**" came the slightly rough voice that seemed to hold a lot of power. I swiveled my head around, because a memory had sparked at the name. Yes, it was mine! Who was calling it? I couldn't make out anything except my own body - - long brown hair that touched the small of my back, a surprisingly large chest that was held in place by a purple bra, a purple-yellow scratchy shirt, a leather jacket that seemed very important for some reason, bell bottom jeans, and sneakers.

"Who's there?" I asked. A lock of my hair fell in front of my face, and I pouted and brushed it back.

"**You don't remember me?**" The voice sounded surprised. "**It's me, Aeso.**"

"Aeso..." I said. "No, sorry, doesn't ring a bell. Who are you? _...Where_ are you?"

There was a bit of an awkward pause, and then Aeso, whoever he was, spoke again. This time I could pinpoint the source of the sound from somewhere off to my right. "**I'm Aeso, your _father_. You know, god of the sea and all that jazz? Damn, ****when your shitty sister's spear pierced your heart, it must've caused some sort of amnesia... this could be troublesome. Well, to make things simple, you're a boy who's trapped in a girl's body due to the power of the Gender-Gender Fruit, which is also the reason you're not dead at the moment. See, the Devil Fruit Konton ate - - that's the demigod who cursed you - - changes the gender of any person who is struck by the consumer. It also momentarily immortalizes the victim, trapping them in their cursed form until the curse wears off, which is a period of two months, the same amount of time that the no-death thing lasts.**"

I blinked. "Wait a minute, so I'm not dead? But why do I get the feeling I should be?"

"**Yeah, that's just it,**" Aeso agreed, his words echoing in the void. "**You _should_ be dead. Just a few seconds ago, you were locked in battle with your sister, Primrose Joyce Digger, and she managed to defeat you by piercing your heart with a spear made of ice. Technically, you should be heading to heaven to get judged by my dad and your grandpa, God. But you're not, because of the curse. Oh, and one more thing. Your curse is special because you got struck _twice_. Amongst us gods, we've examined the situation, and we believe this means that you have only two chances to come back to life, and maybe a chance to change back and forth between your male and female forms. We haven't quite figured out what you have to do yet, though. Maybe some more research in the histories of alternate universes will help. After all, there IS one for every possibility...**"

"Oh. Why was I fighting my sister?"

"**You really _do_ have amnesia, don't you. Just great. Well, your sister killed your mom and joined the ranks of Baroque Works, as well as the demon/Senshi army that's trying to destroy the world. You know, I might have a cure for amnesia somewhere here...**" There was the sound of much shuffling and some creative cursing that would've made a sailor blush, though it just caused my eye to twitch a little. I got the feeling I was used to a lot of swearing and otherwise vulgar language. Finally, after a few minutes, Aeso gave a victory cry and said triumphantly, "**Yes! Here it is! Thank the gods for godBay. Wait, why am I thanking myself? Eh, never mind. I found the amnesia medicine!**"

I grinned. "Does that mean I'll get my memories back?!" I demanded excitedly, leaning forward.

Something soared through the air at me and I caught it on reflex. It was a little white bottle of medicine with a blue wrapping and a name I couldn't make out.

"**Yup,**" my father told me. "**Taking one of those pills should get you your memories back. Then just walk forward a****nd you'll find your way out of The Edge.**"

I wasn't quite sure what The Edge was, but I shrugged to myself, unscrewed the cap from the bottle, shook out a pill - - it was a shiny ocean blue thing - - and popped it in my mouth, washing it down with a little glass of water that randomly appeared in my hand. Nothing happened for about two minutes, I'd say, and I was just starting to doubt the authenticity of the medicine when a flood of memories rushed into my brain.

I remembered everything at once. My epically failed sixth birthday party; meeting Prim and getting saved from Ken, Jake, and Dean; getting Mom to adopt her; Prim personally training me in martial arts so that one day, I could protect myself; coming home from school years later to find my mother's mutilated corpse in our apartment; escaping to the streets and eventually meeting Cracked-Up Kane; getting my leather jacket; meeting Aeso for the first time and embarking on this crazy quest. Everything rolled through my mind like a lightning-fast film.

"Thanks, Dad," I said solemnly, throwing the medicine back in the direction it came from when it was capped again. It was nice to know I could possibly return to being Damon, _before _the two months were up.

The god of the seas sounded amused. "**No prob,**" he told me. "**Now get the hell ****back to the Land of the Living and kick some ass. Lucy's gonna go ballistic if she thinks you're actually dead, ya know.**"

I smirked. "Yeah, I figured."

And with that, I stepped forward. A white light spread through the void, and suddenly the entire world was replaced by colors.

* * *

My body still felt cold, but it was quickly heating up. I could feel the ice around my body melting as Prim's ice spear pulled out of my chest, Lucy and Usopp giving strangled cries of horror.

"You killed my nakama!" my captain roared, looking downright evil. "I'LL KILL YOU! GUM-GUM BA - -"

"It's fine," I rasped, my voice a little dry from the cold but getting stronger each second, and finally able to carry a little. Lucy's arms froze as suddenly as if she'd been trapped by my ex-sister's shitty Blizzard Lock move. "You think I'd die so easily?"

There was silence in the clearing except for the spinning of the pumpkin head on top of the Candle Set. I smirked and started struggling to pick myself up, staring down Prim, whose jaw was currently kissing the ground. Usopp and Carue freaked out and looked at me like I was a ghost or a zombie - - then again, with all the blood that was pouring out of my chest wound (though it was slowly closing up) and from my nose, I probably looked a lot like a zombie. Mr. 5, Miss Valentine, Mr. 3, and even Miss Goldenweek all looked shocked and somewhat disgusted. I shrugged off my leather jacket so as not to damage it any more and glared at Prim.

"You bitch," I spat. "You ripped the jacket I got from Cracked-Up Kane. PREPARE TO DIE!" Three layers of water wrapped around my hands and heated up on instinct - - I didn't even have to tell them to do anything. I gave an animal-like roar and Flash Stepped around her in circles, raining punches down on her from each side. She was so shocked that I was still alive that she didn't even respond.

"Diamond-chan's... alive!" Lucy gasped as I totally beat the stuffing out of Prim.

"But she... died..." Usopp protested, staring at me in comical shock, charred and still lying on the ground, shakily clutching a rope.

Carue quacked, the same look as Usopp's on the duck's face.

"And the finishing blow!" I bellowed. I unsheathed Chiwohiku, which was still in its sheath, and yelled, "Destroy all enemies! Blue Getsuga Tensho!" The arch of sharp water flew at Prim and tore her body up easily. She didn't even have time to react. She simply... died. I felt a small amount of remorse in the back of my mind and was once again disgusted by the bloodied corpse of my enemy as it fell to the ground, but the remorse was squashed out by the feeling of triumphant vengeance for Mom's death.

Against all odds, I'd won. My heart had been pierced by Prim's spear, but I'd came back from the grave.

For the first time, I found myself thanking Lady Konton.

"She's - - She's a monster!" yelped Mr. 3.

"Miss Holy Saturday had a bounty of 56,000,000 belli," mused his partner, Miss Goldenweek.

"Sugoi!" Lucy cheered, an impossibly wide smile spreading across her face. The leaf-covered girl bounded to me and hugged me desperately as I wrapped myself in water to heal my wounds. "That was totally wicked, Diamond-chan! How'd you survive being stabbed?"

I blushed a little from the close contact and hesitated, but hugged her back, smiling softly. "I didn't," I said. "Luckily, though, my curse keeps me from dying twice."

Usopp squeaked and Carue freaked. Hey, that rhymed... damn ADHD. "Zombie!" the liar shouted.

"Baka," I muttered, patting Lucy on the back warmly. "Just hurry up and free our friends, will you? I'm glad we're both alive and all, but they're gonna die themselves if you don't do something."

Lucy extracted herself from our hug and turned to the armored Mr. 3. "You're right. Dammit, there's no time..." Mr. 3 smashed the ground and they started battling again.

Usopp face-faulted and whispered something to Carue, who quacked and took the rope in his mouth. Miss Valentine got over her shock and floated to the two, saying in a falsely sweet tone, "Ara ara! This looks fun. What might you be planning? Wanna let me in on it?"

They paused, then Usopp screamed, "CARUE! RUN! _RUN! _NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, KEEP RUNNING AROUND THE BASE!" The duck face-faulted, too, and was jerked into action, dashing with all his ducky speed around the Candle Set, trailing the rope behind him.

"Whatever you're planning, it's futile," Mr. 5 told him, aiming his dumbass gun again.

"Oi, baka!" I taunted. "Yeah, you in the dumbass red suit! Come get me if you can!" My body still wrapped in water, I drew the Baroque Works agent's attention away from my friend and Flash Stepped to random places, insulting him in each new place. I made sure to stay far away from Prim's bloody corpse. "Oi, gold picker! You know why they want you to get anger management? 'Cause you always EXPLODE! Ha!" The annoying bastard tsked and fired his gun at me, but I was too quick for him and Flash Stepped out of the way. "Even if you could get a girlfriend, you'd be such a poor boyfriend, she'd always blow up on you! Baka!"

Miss Valentine huffed and sat on Usopp's back. "Crescendo Stone," she said, as my nakama grunted in pain, tears springing up in his eyes. "I wonder how many kilos you can handle."

Mr. 5 blinked and realized I was distracting him from Carue, then turned his attention to the duck and started firing at it. The bullets missed and Vivi's pet ran around the base of the Candle Set faster.

"Oi, dumbass!" I spat. "Don't shoot at him! Water Shot!"

I threw a handful of water at him - - even _I_ couldn't get too close to him without getting hurt from his bombs, and I wanted to save my second extra life as long as I could - - and Mr. 5 glared at me, deflecting the water droplets with a quick snot bomb, effectively grossing me out. I frowned and sent more Water Shots his way, Flash Stepping to various positions around the clearing, but he exploded them all.

"Annoying bastard," I complained.

"100 kilos!" Miss Valentine was saying as she pressed down on Usopp. "200 kilos! 300 kilos!"

Carue jumped onto the Candle Set and started wrapping his rope around the 'cake' part of the tower.

Lucy jumped out of the way of Mr. 3's attacks. The previously unconscious man was encouraging her to stop. "Give it up! Give it up!" he commanded, pounding the ground with his giant, red, wax fists. "They will be my lovely works of art! Hahahaha!"

"You think I'll let that happen!?" Lucy retorted, glaring at him. "Their lives won't be taken by someone like you!" She stretched her hand out and managed to grab onto the burning 3 of Mr. 3's hair, then ran to the Candle Set, dragging the Wax Human with her, grinning widely. "If it just takes fire to melt it, I'll use this one!"

"Noooo! Stooop it!"

"Lucy!" Usopp told her. "That tiny flame won't melt it in time!"

I caught on to his plan and dodged another round of shots from Mr. 5's gun. "Yeah, cap'n! Use the rope! The duck's rope!"

"Carue's rope?" Lucy asked in confusion.

"It's soaked in oil," Usopp grunted as best he could with a 300-kilo woman sitting on him. He held up an empty bottle and I saw that the rope had been soaked in the contents of the bottle - - oil, which was highly flammable. "It's a special rope!"

"Yosha, minna! Wake up!"

"Things are going to get hot... just bear with it..."

"Hot is no problem for me!" I told him, smirking. "Water Shot!" I continued attacking and distracting Mr. 5.

"STOP!" Mr. 3 shrieked.

But of course, did she stop? Nope. She continued running to the rope and set it on fire using Mr. 3's flaming hair. The rope caught on fire and the flames spread down it on either side, eating it up like Lucy at a feast. An insanely hot, incredibly huge bonfire that danced high into the sky when it wrapped around the Candle Set. I paused in my attacking of Mr. 5 to watch the bonfire. It was hot enough that even _I_ was sweating a little.

"Hot!" Mr. 3 complained. "Hot! Hot-hot-hot! Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot!" His colored armor was melting around him due to the flames, confirming that we'd successfully figured out the wax's weakness.

"Suge!" Lucy gaped at the fire. "What a huge fire! They gonna be okay?"

"Of course they will!" I said smugly. "I survived being stabbed by a spear. They can survive being human marshmallows."

"No! You cursed Straw Hat! How could you ruin my Candle Service Set!? You'll pay for this!"

"Oh, urusai," I sighed. "You're no match for us, dumbass."

Suddenly he struggled out of his wax armor and dashed away into the jungle with his partner, the little kid known as Miss Goldenweek, infuriating Lucy. "Oi! You cowards aren't getting away from us!" she screamed angrily, tearing off after them.

Carue quacked repeatedly in fright as globs of wax fell off the Candle Set and nearly hit him - - he was a bit too close to the bonfire.

Miss Valentine cursed and lifted herself into the sky, glaring at Usopp. She said the name of an attack, but over the crackling of the enormous fire, I couldn't hear it. She fell down at the long-nosed, immobile sniper, face twisted in anger, but two girly battle cries rose out of the flames. Nami and Vivi jumped out of the roast, Nami clutching her bo staff and Vivi twirling her string things. They easily knocked the bitch away.

"It was hot in there!" Nami said. "Is that the only thing you thought of?"

Usopp glared at her and sat up, rubbing his chest in pain. "What kinda luxury were you expecting!? You should be thankful you're alive!"

"You're right. Arigatou."

"I can't believe it," Vivi muttered, examining both sides of her hands. "We're alive."

"Feels nice, ne?" I agreed. "I was sure I was dead, too, for a second."

Mr. 5 spat in anger. "You melted the wax, you annoying little bastard. But I won't let you screw up our mission any more!" He pointed his gun at me, Nami, Vivi, and Usopp, holding it sideways, and I tensed, readying myself for a Flash Step even though I was exhausting my energy.

"Mr. 5!" The local long nose hissed, standing up and pulling back his slingshot. "Sure-Kill Gunpowder Star!"

The Bomb Human swallowed it and grunted. "Baka! How many times do I have to tell you it doesn't work!?"

"How does it taste?"

Suddenly, Mr. 5 looked like he was constipated or something. He was sweating something fierce and clutching his throat.

"Sorry, but I _am_ a liar," Usopp declared victoriously. "That isn't gunpowder in your mouth; it's my special Tabasco Star!"

I winced and my eye twitched in sympathy. The other day, when Usopp had been experimenting with ingredients, he'd accidentally shot that same Tabasco Star in my mouth. It tastes like shit, and it makes your entire mouth feel like it's on fire. I knew that Mr. 5 was the enemy, but a Tabasco Star seemed like cruel and unusual punishment.

"IT BUUUUURNS!" Mr. 5 shrilled, flames spurting out of his mouth as he fell to his knees.

Usopp erupted into laughter. "Hahahaha! Make sure you know what it is before you talk about effectiveness!"

"Filthy pirate! *cough cough* How are you play that cheap trick on me!" Mr. 5 glared at Usopp and started charging forward, making the sniper gulp and back up a little. "I'll eliminate you with my Full-Body Explosion! You'll be less than bone shards when I'm done!"

I stepped in front of Usopp protectively and drew water into my hands, but luckily I didn't need to do anything. Just then there was the sound of a Japanese flute playing a creepy, ninja movie tune. A deep voice said, "Yaki Oni Giri!" For all of you who can't translate Japanese, that means 'Flaming Demon Slash.'

My jaw dropped. Zoro had flashed out of the bonfire, looking totally badass and wearing his haramaki, and had cut Mr. 5 up, as well as set the criminal on fire. Mr. 5 fell backwards and Zoro sheathed his swords, quipping, "Katana aren't too bad when they're on fire." The flames around him burned away and sparkles floated around my head.

"SUGOI!" I approved, grinning widely. I was so enthralled by the sheer awesomeness I even forgot about the pain in my chest and nose. "That was totally badass!"

"Zoro!" Nami gasped.

Behind us, the clearing shook and we turned to see Brogy (huh, I'd forgotten about him) standing up with a smirk.

"Yo. Looks like we made it," the swordsman said with a smirk.

"Yeah," the Giant Warrior agreed. He frowned and looked at Dorry (I'd forgotten about him, too), who was still lying on the ground - - either dead or unconscious. Hopefully the latter.

"Master..." Usopp said quietly.

Brogy smirked at us. "There's still two left."

"Oh yeah," I confirmed. "I think Lucy and Carue are chasing after them."

He grinned. "Oh, really?"

I nodded.

This victory was for the Straw Hat Pirates!

* * *

**You like apples? Well how do you like THEM apples!? Another chapter of this fanfiction is complete, and it was pretty damn awesome! Diamond's so epic, she can't even DIE! XD Well, she can die, but she has one more extra life before she actually dies. And we get to see some small DiaLu/DaLu fluff!  
**

Diamond: I'm badass, I'm badass~! Badass, badass, badass~!

Usopp: ZOMBIE!

Nami: You bitch... WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU FREE US!?

Vivi: We're... alive...?

Sanji: This is the Shitty Restaurant. May I take your order?

Crocodile: Your report is late.

Lucy: Wait, what's up with Sanji ad Crocodile? I'm so confused...

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Like the story so far? I'd very much appreciate it if you would follow and/or favorite this novel of the series, but it is not necessary for me to keep updating. Also, I'd like to hear what you have to say on this story, so please leave a review! :) Arigatou, minna!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	19. No 19: Saying Farewell to Little Garden!

**Woowee! The end of the Little Garden Arc is finally here and we can move on to the Alabasta Arc at last! Diamond's adventures have only just begun, people, and this fanfiction is just gonna keep on getting crazier and crazier! Oh, and as a disclaimer, I do not own One Piece! If I did, Damon/Diamond would definitely be in it, Luffy would definitely be a girl, and it would suck ass. Also, I have not had this story beta'ed, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in these chapters. I edit them as much as I can, but sometimes I miss stuff. Thankfully, nobody's ragged on me for those mistakes yet. Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** Arigatou! Ne, you'll just have to wait and see for that. *gives evil smile* There's still the Drum Kingdom Arc to get through before we make it to Alabasta. And no problem!

**Otaku-san32: **Yep, that's what I'm planning on. Though he/she will try to stay in Damon form as much as possible. XD Hoo boy, that'll be crazy. Doctrine will be like... "These guys are nutso." lol. Stay posted!

**OPFan37:** Ah, thank you. You did? I'll read it when I have time. Gods, it was so AMAZING! Luffy battling Akainu and Blackbeard was just SO TOTALLY FREAKIN' COOL! Heeheehee... You think this arc's awesome? Just wait until the Whitebeard War! :D

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **Yep, that sums up chapter 18 pretty well. Heh, sorry about that. I was just so bored. *pouts* *Lucy unsuccessfully tries to cheer me up by offering meat*

**Chapter 19 start!**

* * *

Saying Goodbye to Little Garden!

Keep Going Forward!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_Brogy smirked at us. "There's still two left."_

_"Oh yeah," I confirmed. "I think Lucy and Carue are chasing after them."_

_He grinned. "Oh, really?"_

_I nodded._

_This victory was for the Straw Hat Pirates!_

Two minutes later, everyone had different emotions. Most of us - - Lucy, Usopp, Nami, Vivi, and Carue - - were high in spirits. Now that the adrenaline had ran out of me, however, I realized just how exhausted I was and sank to the ground, my knees feeling very weak. Personally, now that I could think straight again, I was shocked and more than a little weirded out that I was actually _alive_. My chest was in so much pain, it felt as though it was repeatedly being stabbed by iron pokers... and that was _with_ the healing that the layer of water around my body had done. Not to mention my hands were a raw red and steaming, my nose was broken, and my body was generally aching from all the freezing punches and kicks I'd endured. I wouldn't have been surprised if I had cracked a rib or two... or four... or all of them.

Brogy was crying so hard he created two things: 1) A mini waterfall, which made my neck tingle, and 2) a rainbow, which made Lucy gasp in awe. I couldn't tell whether the giant was incredibly happy or incredibly sad, but I _was_ pretty sure of one thing: I could probably use his tears as a healing saltwater bath. It effectively put out the bonfire.

"Oi, oi!" my captain called excitedly, jumping around. This caused her scantily covered chest to bounce distractingly. "Check it out back there! It's a rainbow!"

"He's even hearty when he cries," complained Nami, unsuccessfully shielding herself with her arms.

I backed up so I wouldn't drown in a lake of tears.

"It's like being under a waterfall," muttered Zoro, voicing my own thoughts.

Usopp was crying, too, and he sniffled and wiped his eyes. "I understand... Master Brogy..." he managed.

I noticed the fallen Dorry's hand twitch and blinked. As I watched, his other hand tightened around his giant longsword and stabbed it into the ground, using it to help him get up, like a crutch. As Dorry went into a sitting position, Brogy finally noticed his friend was actually alive and he got such a droll look of surprise that I couldn't help but erupt into peals of laughter.

"D-Dorry..." the charred giant gasped, his already huge eyes now roughly the size of small hills. "But how!?"

Dorry rubbed the back of his helmet, shrugging apologetically. "I guess I was unconscious."

Nami nearly choked. "UN_CONSCIOUS!?_"

"It was probably... because of your weapon," our huge friend groaned.

"By the way, Diamond-chan," Vivi said as I retrieved my leather jacket from the spot I'd left it on the edge of the jungle. I couldn't see Prim's body and assumed it had burned up in the fire. "What's with that wound on your chest? It looks deep. How are you still alive? How are you still _moving_?"

"That would probably even kill me," Zoro agreed.

"Dunno how I'm still moving," I admitted, running back to my friends and sitting down, "but I'm still alive because of that weirdo Lady Konton's curse. Remember how it keeps its victims alive until the two months are up, along with the gender change thing? Well, my curse is special. I have two extra lives, and I just used one of them up when Prim... er, Miss Holy Saturday, stabbed me with her dumbass ice spear."

"...Oh."

I supposed they'd seen stranger things, since Vivi lived on the Grand Line and the rest of 'em were the Straw Hats.

Usopp, as usual, was totally ignoring us and was wiping his tears, a smile spreading across his face. "Weapon? Oh yeah! After 100 years of being used in the Giants' warfare, even weapons from Elbaf wouldn't be able to cut very well anymore!" He heaved a sigh of relief. "There's no reason... it's a miracle!"

Brogy wrapped up the other giant in a cheerful hug, laughing. "GYABABABA!"

"Oi, Brogy," hissed Dorry in pain. "You're hurting my wound."

"I'm so glad you're alive, my dear friend!" he cried, pulling out of the hug with a Lucy-level grin. "GYABABABA!"

"GYAGYAGYAGYA!" grunted the long-bearded warrior happily.

Zoro smirked and folded his arms. "It's no miracle. It's nature. It's stranger that those weapons are still intact after taking such a hard beating for these last hundred years. And that goes for those guys as well."

I grinned and shrugged dismissively. "They're Giants, what do you expect?"

"Today is truly a wonderful day!" Brogy declared. "I thank our Kami, Elbaf!"

"Ne, Brogy," mused Dorry with a playful grin. "You sure seem happy you got the chance to slice me up and knock me unconscious."

"Baka! Don't talk about it like that!" The Viking-helmeted warrior slapped his friend teasingly.

"Urk - - Don't hit my wound! GYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"GYABABABA!"

They began punching each other softly, though the attacks held no heat. They were acting just like brothers - - like a nicer version of Zoro and Sanji.

Nami, wearing nothing but her pants and a skimpy dark blue bra that made me glare at her, smiled... but then they totally ruined the moment by butting heads.

"You looking for a fight, jerk!?" Dorry demanded as they rose to their feet, glaring at each other.

"I'll crush you into the ground!" Brogy claimed, growling a little.

I sweatdropped. "Oi, oi, oi, you just finished with one fight, bakas!"

Lucy was ecstatic and cheered them on. "Wow! Suge! Yes! Awesome!"

Usopp's eye twitched and Carue's duck bill dropped. Zoro raised his eyebrow.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM, BAKA!" I reprimanded her.

Our navigator yelled at them with shark teeth. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FIGHTING AGAIN!?"

* * *

We managed to calm the two Giants down enough for them to take us to one of the hollow mountains together. Brogy explained how the Baroque Works agents had wanted the combined 200,000,000 belli bounty on Dorry and Brogy's heads, and Dorry seemed greatly amused by this.

"GYAGYAGYAGYA! So this was about the bounty on our heads!" he boomed. "I completely forgot!"

Vivi, whose clothes had been spared from the flames, frowned. "But the reason they initially came to this island and nearly killed all of us was because of me..."

Nami and I pulled her cheeks, making her pout like a cute little kid and try to wave us away.

"Would you cut that out?" Nami sighed.

I nodded, narrowing my eyes at her. "Yeah. We said we'd protect you and we're gonna put our lives on the line to do it. It's what friends do, baka."

"She's right," Lucy agreed, chewing on the cookies that Miss Goldenweek had left behind with Usopp and Carue. "What are you so down about? Want a senbei?" Oh. Okay. I stand corrected. They were rice crackers, not cookies. Meh, it's a shame.

"Get some clothes on already," I sighed, giving her my leather jacket. "Here, put that on for now."

"You sure? Okay." She shrugged and put on my jacket.

Nami sweatdropped at the casual girl. "Where did you guys get those crackers?"

"Yosh! Time for a senbei party!"

I blinked, my attention hooked. "Party?"

"But it won't be much of a party if we only have senbei," Usopp pointed out as I sat down with them and munched on the crackers. They were actually pretty good. Crunchy like potato chips, but with that rice flavor. I liked rice.

"But we can still kanpai with them, can't we?" Lucy asked, holding up another cracker. Us three Straw Hats and our duck looked at each other, shrugged, and tapped crackers.

"KANPAI!"

Lucy accidentally dropped her cracker, breaking it, and Usopp glared at her, scooped it up, and brushed the pieces of it off on his pants. "Oi, you just broke it!" he complained, shaking his head. "Geez, disrespecting food like that..." He started to take a bite of it, but Lucy tic-pulsed and dived at him, steamrolling me in the process.

"Baka!" she admonished, fishing the broken cracker out of the sniper's clutches. "Who said I wasn't gonna eat that!?"

I winced and clutched my wounded chest, willing myself not to cry. "Shit... it freakin' hurts! B-Baka... you h-hit my wound..." As my female captain and Usopp wrestled like siblings for the cracker, I frowned and looked at Nami, who was itching a bug bite visible on her bare stomach. "Oi, Nami!" I called, holding up my leather jacket. "That shitty ex-sister of mine tore a hole in my jacket. Think you could stitch it up for me?"

She shrugged. "Leather will be hard to work with, but I'll try."

Zoro sighed exasperatedly. "Man, this'll be annoying, having to wait a full year to get off of this island."

Brogy grinned and leaned forward. "But you guys saved us! Surely there must be some way we can express our gratitude."

Lucy stopped wrestling with Usopp and jumped on a boulder, pointing at them. "Okay then, Giant-ossans, do something about our Log!"

I frowned at her and sprayed her with some water. "Baka. They can't do anything about it since they can't change this island's magnetic field."

"Eh? Hontou?"

Dorry nodded, looking stricken. "The Log is the one thing we can't do anything about."

"Nami-SWAN! Vivi-CHWAN! Lucy-CHWAN! Diamond-CHWAN! And the rest of you jerks!" came a familiar voice from behind us. I face-faulted and turned around with a watery evil aura, eye twitching. Sure enough, there stood Sanji, swooning at the sight of most of 'his ladies' hanging around with next to no clothes on.

"Yo, Sanji!" Lucy said cheerfully while the rest of us, minus Dorry and Brogy, glared at him.

I tic-pulsed. "Bastard! Don't try that on me!"

He went down in a hailstorm of punches.

Nami and Vivi sweatdropped.

The cook's body twitched. "D-Diamond-chan's so beautiful when sh-she's... assertive... So e-everybody's safe? Th-Thank goodness.."

Nami and Vivi double-sweatdropped.

"That jerk never showed up to help us," Usopp seethed, "and he has the gall to show up _now!?_"

Carue quacked in furious agreement.

Sanji rubbed his head and got to his feet, then finally noticed the Giants and face-faulted, his jaw dropping. "AH! WHAT THE HELL!? ARE EITHER OF YOU MR. 3!?"

"Ne, how do you about Mr. 3?" Nami asked, blinking in confusion.

"Obviously he doesn't," I deadpanned. "Otherwise he'd know that Dorry and Brogy aren't him and we already beat his ass."

"WHOA! Nami-swan! You're as stimulating as ever~!" Sanji swooned, momentarily ignoring me for once.

The navigator in question raised her fist. "You wanna die?"

Sanji shrugged off his jacket and offered it to a mildly surprised Nami. "Now, now, Nami-san," he chided. "You'll catch a cold like that. Here, put this on."

I sweatdropped. "This is a _jungle_, bastard."

Nami blinked and accepted the coat. "...Arigatou..."

The blonde man - - his hair color only proved the stereotype that blondes are dumb, sorry those of you who have yellow hair - - smirked and sat on a log triumphantly. "Well then, I just had a talk with Mr. 0 on the Den-Den Mushi."

Vivi freaked. "EH!? The Boss!? You talked with him!?"

"Yeah. There was this weird-ass hideout in the middle of the jungle. Seems he mistook me for this Mr. 3. So I went ahead and told him I'd finished you guys off."

"This means he thinks we're dead, right?"

Usopp tic-pulsed and yelled at the sky, "WHY IS IT THAT WHEN NOBODY'S LOOKING FOR US, WE CAN'T LEAVE!?"

I clapped my hands together and bowed my head. "Such is the life of a Straw Hat Kaizoku."

Sanji raised his eyebrow, mystified. "Wait, we can't leave? Do we still have something we have to do here?" He dug around in his back pocket. "Sheesh, and after I went through the trouble of bringing you guys this thing." He brought out an Eternal Pose with the word 'Alabasta' labeled on it.

My eye twitched and my jaw dropped to the ground, as did the others'. Sanji sweatdropped at our reactions. "N... Nani?"

Suddenly Lucy grinned. "It's an Eternal Pose to Alabasta!"

We all started dancing around in joy except Zoro, who looked at us like we were idiots, Vivi, who heaved a sigh of relief and just smiled, and Sanji, who was eternally confused.

"We can set sail!"

"Yosha! Everything went according to my plan!"

"Let's go, Captain!"

"Desert kingdom, here we come!"

"Did somebody say 'dessert?'"

"I said, _desert_, not dessert, Lucy-chan..."

The Alabastan princess grinned and wrapped up Vivi in a hug, her surprisingly cute blue hair bouncing as she went. "Arigatou! Thank you so much, Sanji-kun! For a moment, I thought all was lost!"

Sanji, of course, swooned. "Y-You're welcome! It was nothing~! If I'd have known you'd be this happy..."

Lucy ordered the senbei party to restart, and everyone dug around in the bag of crackers, even Nami. We grinned and tapped crackers, shouting, "KANPAI!" Suddenly Usopp frowned, looked in the bag, and held it up.

"Oi, Lucy!" he said. "This is a problem! We can't have a senbei party if there's only three left!"

My eye twitched. "EH? Only _three_?"

Suddenly Nami blinked and started acting more in her character. "Wait a minute, we don't have time for this, anyway!" She turned to Lucy. "Let's go, Captain. We don't have time to mess around here." Lucy pouted and Nami smirked, stuffing the rest of her rice cracker in the pirate's mouth, making her choke from the sudden mouthful.

I laughed at her and she pouted at me some more, swallowing the cracker.

Zoro sighed and started walking back to the ship.

"Oh yeah, you!" Sanji remembered, pointing sternly at Zoro. "You haven't forgotten about our hunting contest, have you?"

Zoro paused. "Nope. And I won, by the way. I caught a rhino THIS BIG." He held his arms out wide for emphasis.

Sanji snorted and swaggered to him. "Ne? A rhino? It had better be edible."

"Damn straight."

Dorry and Brogy blinked and looked up thoughtfully.

"Oi, that reminds me of something, Dorry," Brogy mused, folding his enormous arms across his chest.

I laughed and told my friends, "Oh yeah! I just remembered! The reason Dorry and Brogy were fighting in the first place was because they killed two Sea Kings and couldn't decided whose was bigger! Those 'hollow mountains' are the Sea Kings' heads! Ha! Think we could leave Zoro and Sanji here for a hundred years?" I asked playfully, motioning towards the chef and swordsman, who were growling at each other and looking like they were about to start one of their usual fights."

Nami rubbed her chin, nodding. "You know, that's not too bad of an idea."

Usopp snickered. "Zoro wouldn't be able to find his way back even if he won!"

Vivi stared at us, horrified. "E-Eh?! You wouldn't really do that, would you? They're your friends!"

"It's a joke, Vivi-chan," I sighed, facepalming.

Lucy laughed at us and then put a hand on her precious straw hat, grinning at the Giants. "Well then, Round-ossan, Big-ossan. We're gonna get going."

"I see," said Dorry, sounding a little sad. "Well, you seem to be in a hurry."

Brogy sighed. "It's too bad you can't stay, but don't let us keep you. I hope your country is safe."

Vivi smiled. "Yes, arigatou."

We started to leave, and Lucy called, "Later! Don't die anymore!" Carue, hanging back with a very excited Usopp, quacked cheerfully for emphasis.

The long nosed sniper punched the air, smiling. "Someday I will go to Elbaf!" he shouted. "I'll be a brave warrior of the sea!"

"Wait 'til you see it," Sanji told Zoro. "Mine's definitely bigger."

The swordsman huffed, "Heh! Yeah right."

And so we went back through the jungle, squabbling and jabbing amongst each other like the big family we basically were. Lucy and I punched out a few dinosaurs that snuck up on us, because Zoro and Sanji were too busy bickering about whose catch had more meat, which is not talking about _that_, pervert girls. If there's one thing I've confirmed from being with this crew for over a month, it's that Zoro and Sanji ARE NOT GAY. They hate each other. Sorry to burst your fantasies, but that's how it is.

Once we were back on the ship and we were getting ready to cast off, Zoro and Sanji STILL didn't stop arguing. They stood on their respective kills, glaring at each other.

"Mine's the biggest!" Sanji insisted, pointing down at his T-Rex. I snorted as I looked at it from the crow's nest. The one I'd taken out during Dorry and Brogy's fight had been much bigger than that baby.

"My rhino's way bigger!" Zoro hissed, eye twitching. Maybe Tourette's Syndrome really _was_ contagious. "Do the eyes on _yours_ do anything!?"

"I dunno what you two're mad about," giggled Lucy on the Merry somewhere below me. "They both look tasty to me."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" they roared, Sanji momentarily forgetting that Lucy was a girl.

"Mine obviously has more meat!"

"That meat's no good!"

Nami sighed and tried to keep her composure, though her annoyed expression betrayed her. "How long are you guys gonna keep at it?" she complained. "It's not like all of it will fit on the ship. Just cut off what we need. We're ready to set sail."

"Hai, Nami-swan~!"

Zoro regarded the local long nose hopefully. "Oi, Usopp! You can see that I won, right?"

Usopp turned and said, "Eh? I don't really care..."

Vivi shrugged. "Can't you two just call it a draw?"

"There ain't no such thing as a draw in a match."

"Two negatives make a positive~!" I sang.

"Urusai!"

"GET THE HELL UP HERE NOW!" Nami roared. I winced and hid down in the safety of the crow's nest. Nami could be really scary sometimes. Zoro and Sanji felt it, too, because they stammered out apologies and cut up as much meat as they could, dragging it onto the ship. While they did all that, I decided to take the time and soak in the river to heal myself.

About ten minutes later, everything was packed up and ready to go. In the time it had taken to get Zoro and Sanji to stop arguing and load their meat into the cargo hold, Nami had had enough time to fix the small hole in my jacket and I gave her a grateful hug, which she immediately smacked me for. I sighed, shrugged on my treasure again, and manned the lookout post once more.

Finally, we were all ready to go. Zoro hoisted the anchor while Sanji and I released the sails, grinning.

"Yosha! Time to go!" Lucy proclaimed. "SET SAIL!"

The ship started moving down the slow current of the river and to save time, I used my water powers to speed up the current. My wounds had been mostly healed and I had been almost totally re-energized, so I could actually do things like that without feeling like I was climbing Mount Everest now.

"The Giants said that if we continue on this river, we'll come out on the west side of the island," Nami said.

"Oi. Couldn't we get any more meat on board?"

"No, Luce. Can't you think about something other than food for a change?"

"Gomen, Lucy-chwan, but if we took anymore it's spoil before we could use it."

"What are you trying to do, sink the ship?"

The Going Merry continued down the river, passing trees that hung out over the water and went to the opposite shore, nests of dinosaurs, and lizard birds soaring overhead. You know, I'd just realized that we seemed to be encountering a lot of islands with rivers that cut though them lately. Maybe it's an island fashion trend or something.

"Oi, look, it's the Giant-ossans," Lucy remarked, pointing ahead. "They came to see us off!" Sure enough, Dorry and Brogy were standing on either side of the river, facing away from us, their long blue capes billowing in the wind.

"For all the tiny humans that have come to this island..." thundered Brogy.

"...The biggest reason they could never reach the next island lies ahead," Dorry finished.

Everyone blinked.

"Matte!" I called, confused. "Is there a really rough patch of sea or something?"

"Aren't you supposed to see into the future?" Usopp mumbled, making me hit him over the head.

"Dumbass. I can't be expected to remember every little detail."

"You guarded our honor with your lives." Dorry said.

Brogy nodded. "And so, we shall do the same, no matter what kind of enemy there may be."

"A friend's honor must never be tarnished, no matter what the cost!"

"Believe in us and continue straight ahead! Whatever should appear, do not stray from your course!"

Down on the Going Merry, we Straw Hats got more and more nervous with every word they spoke. Even Lucy grew more serious. She grinned knowingly and yelled back, "I got it!"

"What the hell?" asked Zoro, confused as hell.

Usopp gulped nervously. "Um, w-what did you get?"

His answer came quickly, and with utter confidence. "WE GO STRAIGHT AHEAD, NO MATTER WHAT!"

As the Going Merry crept ever closer out to sea, the back of my neck started tingling again, singling something wrong in the sea. I frowned worriedly, trying to remember what trial was next.

"This is farewell," boomed Dorry as the two Giants pulled out their weapons, "but we will meet again someday!"

"Without a doubt," Brogy agreed.

Suddenly something started rising out of the water and the back of my neck went as crazy as it had in the Calm Belt. As I stood in the crow's nest, gaping, I saw the ocean push up in an enormous, growing hill of water, cascading down a huge creature. A red top fin poked out of the water hill, followed by two other ovals of closer to us and beneath it. More parts of the beast's body appeared as the water fell away from it.

My jaw dropped.

"So you've surface, Island Eater," chuckled Dorry darkly.

"We will have them pass," Brogy declared, "in the name of Elbaf!"

They both let out battle cries and started doing something with their sword and axe, but I wasn't looking behind me. My eyes were fixed on the enormous fish that treaded water in front of us. The goldfish that was about to eat our ship was one of the biggest things I'd ever seen! It easily matched and totally outclassed Dorry's and Brogy's size, creating waves that almost capsized us.

Carue turned blue and almost fainted. Sanji's grin was fixed. Nami's jaw had dropped and her eyes were wide with terror. Usopp was openly freaking out, screaming, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Vivi had much the same expression as Nami, and even Zoro looked shocked.

"What is that thing?" Lucy wondered, tilting her head. "A goldfish?"

"IT'S A GOLDFISH THE SIZE OF AN ISLAND!" I bellowed once I'd picked my jaw off the floor. "USOPP, DAMMIT, IT'S YOUR STUPID LYING THAT CAUSED THIS!" One of Usopp's favorite lies to tell was of the time he'd supposedly met a goldfish so big, he though its poop was an island. "HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO CALM, LUCY?!"

Usopp gulped. "O-O-Oh. Th-That's where I have h-heard of that b-before."

Nami looked up at him desperately. "Turn the helm! Hurry, or we'll be eaten! Usopp, hurry!"

The sniper had a moment of bravery. He steeled himself and shook his head, saying, "No! We're going straight ahead! R-Right, Lucy?"

The female captain nodded and grinned. "Yep!"

"STRAIGHT AHEAD!" I roared.

"DIAMOND-CHAN IS _STILL_ PMS'ING!" came Vivi's pissed-off shout.

The mother of all goldfish opened its enormous maw, completely dwarfing the Going Merry. Even its tonsils were freakin' huge - - at least the size of the biggest, thickest tree on Little Garden.

"ARE YOU INSANE!?" Nami yelled. "This thing isn't like Laboon!"

"I know, I know," Lucy said dismissively, relaxing on her special seat, the figurehead, and taking a bite of a cracker and holding another up. "Settle down. Here, have the last senbei."

The navigator caught it. "I DON'T WANT IT! We've got to turn the ship around! We're all gonna be - -"

"Oi, oi, if you don't want it, give it here!" I told her, waving from the crow's nest high above her.

She glared up at me. "URUSAI, YOU!"

Carue freaked out and Zoro opened the door to the boy's cabin, allowing the duck to hide safely in there. "Calm down," he complained.

The ship continued on its trek into the goldfish's mouth, a shadow falling across us as the Sun was completely blotted out. Sanji called over the din of the waves, "Oi, Lucy-chan! You sure we can trust those guys?"

"Hai!"

"Seriously!?" Vivi demanded. "Are we really going to sail straight into that monster!?"

"Deal with it," I said calmly, though I was busy freaking out internally. "It's the captain's orders, after all, and we have to do what she says whether we like it or not."

Nami was close to tears. "It's too late anyway! We can't stop now!"

We had entered its mouth, though the goldfish hadn't closed it yet.

"So you're fully grown, eh, Island Eater?" thundered Dorry. "You monstrous goldfish!"

"And it's not just its size that's surprising," Brogy added. "There's also the sheer size and length of the 'islands' it shits out after it eats. Like that one giant shit the call Nanimonai Island."

I tic-pulsed and bellowed at them, "WHY WOULD YOU TALK ABOUT THAT!?" Then I blinked. Dorry had a blue aura around him and Brogy had a red aura and both of them were smirking. What were they planning?

"I remember the time when we landed on one of those things thinking it was a continent," Dorry recalled, laughing.

Brogy nodded. "The good old days of our adventures! Watching them makes me remember those days."

I didn't hear any more because just then, the goldfish closed its mouth, easily swallowing us in one massive gulp. All light was cut off and we could only see black. It wasn't like the darkness I saw in my dreams with Aeso, when I could see my body, but totally black, where I couldn't see my hand an inch in front of my face.

"STRAIGHT AHEAD! S-STRAIGHT AHEAD!" moaned Usopp through tears.

I couldn't see her, but I could tell Nami was shark-like again. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? WE'VE JUST BEEN EATEN!"

"STRAIGHT AHEAD!" Lucy agreed. "STRAIGHT AHEAD!"

"If you're wrong about this, you're dead meat, Lucy-chan," I growled.

If my neck had been going crazy before, now it suddenly tingled with the force of a volcano explosion. Red and blue light shone behind us, illuminating the inside of the fish, and as we sat there, gaping, a wave of pure energy ripped a hole through the goldfish behind us and tore ahead of us. It smashed into the opposite wall of the monster, bright light flooding the stomach of the fish. The force of the attack pushed us into the air, making Lucy whoop in excitement and the rest of us scream in terror.

We were flying out of a hole in the fish's stomach!

* * *

**And thus ends the Little Garden Arc! Holy shit. That was two chapters in one day - - two LONG chapters. I've had a lot of time on my hands because we haven't had school since last Thursday (it's REALLY snowy and REALLY cold here in Ohio) and I don't have school tomorrow either. Well, at least this shortens the amount of time I can get the Alabasta Saga completed in!**

Diamond: WE'RE FREAKIN' FLYING! _AGAIN!_

Usopp: *gives unmanly squeak*

Lucy: See? Straight ahead!

All Straw Hats: Lucy, we're gonna kill you...

**Well, hope you enjoyed this update! And if you like the story so far, I'd appreciate some follows and favorites! Also some reviews saying what you think about this fanfiction! I really wanna hear your thoughts. Oh, and popularity is not necessary, but is highly appreciated!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	20. No 20: Encountering a Sea of Snow!

**Holy crap. We're already this far into the second book of my series? Well, that was quick. Thank you for over 80 reviews! This chapter starts the Drum Kingdom Arc, and unfortunately I don't really have any enemies planned for this arc... so if you can think of someone, just go ahead and say it! Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Kakusei:** Ah, thank you! And I definitely will! It's my goal to get done with this fanfiction some time. XD Although it'll be pretty hard to do since One Piece isn't even done yet... Ah, well! Heh, thought you guys would like the Miss Holy Saturday twist! That was pretty legit, eh?

**DarkLord98: **Sure! I already have something planned for where he's gonna go and what he's gonna do, but I'm still open for suggestions. If I like yours better, I might use it!

**gamelover41592: **It's okay, I totally understand. :) It doesn't usually happen, so I'm fine with it throwing people off.

**Chapter 20 start!**

* * *

Nami is Sick?

Encountering a Sea of Snow!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_If my neck had been going crazy before, now it suddenly tingled with the force of a volcano explosion. Red and blue light shone behind us, illuminating the inside of the fish, and as we sat there, gaping, a wave of pure energy ripped a hole through the goldfish behind us and tore ahead of us. It smashed into the opposite wall of the monster, bright light flooding the stomach of the fish. The force of the attack pushed us into the air, making Lucy whoop in excitement and the rest of us scream in terror._

_We were flying out of a hole in the fish's stomach!_

Just past the western edge of a prehistoric island known as Little Garden, an enormous fish sat in the sea with a giant tunnel of a hole ripped straight through it. The Going Merry, our ship, sailed forth, pushed by the wind created from the Giants Dorry and Brogy's attack. The wind buffeted me, whipping my long, brown hair back as I desperately clung to the edge of the crow's nest and tried not to fall out. My treasure, the precious black leather jacket that my mentor and teacher, Cracked-Up Kane, had stolen for me, rippled behind me. Below, the Straw Hats all had various expressions of terror, except Zoro, who smirked, and Lucy, who was ecstatic.

We were flying, soaring through the air.

And it wasn't the first time this had happened to us, either. We'd done this once before in the Calm Belt, when we were getting away from the massive Sea Kings that resided there. I'd pulled the nose hair of the Sea King our ship was on, it had sneezed, and we'd been sent flying.

Now we were experiencing that exact same sensation.

Let me just say that flying is not fun, although you do start to get used to it after a while. It feels like you left your stomach back down in the ocean far below, and the wind stubbornly tries to pull your face off.

Fun times, fun times.

Not.

"WOOHOO!" Lucy cheered, her soft black hair flying back in the wind crazily. My brown hair was mimicking hers, and locks of hair would fall in front of my face, too, forcing me to brush them aside or be left with an unfathomable itchiness. "We flew through!"

"How the hell can you be so calm!?" I shrieked.

As we were blasted across the sea, which had been cut and was splashing upward in a long, continuous wave, droplets of water were flung onto our ship like little flakes of snow. It was beautiful... or at least, it would've been if we weren't moving at about 150 miles per hour.

"No turning back!" Lucy shouted over the wind and sea. "We're going straight ahead!"

I turned around and my jaw dropped. It had only been a couple of minutes since the Giants' attack had blasted us out of the island-sized goldfish, but Little Garden had already dipped below the horizon. Just how fast were we flying, anyway?

Our captain had long since placed a hand on her straw hat to keep it in place. "Huge!" she approved. "They were so huge!"

Usopp was crying... though whether it was tears of awe or tears of fright, I couldn't tell. "They even pierced the ocean itself! This is the true strength... *sniff* ...of an Elbaf Warrior! It's sugoi~!"

The Merry finally slowed down and lost a lot of its momentum, gravity once more acting on our ship. We were pulled down to the Grand Line, smashing into the ocean so roughly it was all I could do to stay in the crow's nest, though I _was_ bashed against the main mast hard enough to feel like I broke every bone in my body. How the hell I had survived this far, I had no idea, but as we sailed ever farther from the prehistoric island, I couldn't help but feel like life was only gonna get crazier from here on out.

Sore and exhausted, I dragged my weary body off of the main mast and knelt on the floor of the lookout post, gripping a spyglass shakily and peering out around the ocean. Zoro must've seen my pain, though, because he offered to relieve me of my job for the day, hefting some weights up there with him and beginning one of his intense . I quickly accepted and took a nap. Or tried to, at least. The every day antics of the crew started up not long after we landed.

"Ne, minna, guess what? Someday, I'm definitely gonna go visit Elbaf, the Village of Warriors!" Usopp declared, posing proudly on a barrel.

Lucy grinned. "Oh yeah!"

They hooked arms and danced around the ship like the lovable idiots they were, singing, "Gi, Gi, Giants! Gi, Giants! El~baf, baf! El~baf, baf! They're all huge, 'cause they're Giants! Big ol' Giants! Huge kaizoku!" As they sang and danced, Carue raced around them, quacking happily.

I sweatdropped. "That's one screwed up kick-line."

Nami, leaning against the bottom of the main mast and looking wiped out, shook her head in wonder. "Those two sure are energetic," she muttered. She had changed into a baby blue shirt.

Suddenly, Lucy and Usopp, who had jumped onto the railing of the ship and continued their thing there, slipped and almost fell off of the Merry, though our captain grabbed onto the edge of the ship just in time. They climbed back up hastily, looking comically panicked. Carue slid into view below them, quacking an admonishment and sweatdropping, too.

I nodded sagely. "You said it, Duckzilla."

"That whole ordeal really tired me out," the redheaded navigator mumbled, letting out a ragged sigh and rubbing her temple. She lifted up the Eternal Pose to Alabasta and handed it to the local princess, who had been sitting next to her. "Vivi, can you keep an eye on this for a while?"

Vivi, who had changed into some dark blue pants and a magenta hoodie, smiled and accepted the makeshift compass, smiling softly.

"Now you can finally go home to Alabasta!" Nami proclaimed, grinning slyly. "Well, if we don't run into anything else on the way there, of course."

I got up and walked over there, bopping her on the head lightly. "Don't jinx us, Nami."

Vivi nodded and smiled at us. "Yes, I must return home. Now, the only way to save my country... I just have to make it to Alabasta alive." Her smile faded a little and her expression turned hard. We all looked at her worriedly. Just how much death had she seen to give her that look in her eyes? She suddenly seemed much older and maybe a little more fragile, too. I knew she couldn't take much more.

I gritted my teeth. That Crocodile bastard was gonna pay.

Sanji walked down the steps from the kitchen smoothly, carrying a dish of some kind of dessert and saying, "Don't work yourself up so much, Vivi-chan." I sighed in relief. For once, the ero-cook had great timing. The tension was broken... but of course, he had to ruin it. He pointed to himself and smirked. "I'm here! How about sampling some of today's lovely relaxation snack, petit fours? And for beverages, we have coffee and tea, whichever you prefer."

The princess smiled. "Sanji-san!"

"That looks delicious!" I moaned hungrily, drooling. Fighting off a demigod of winter, getting frozen, and being stabbed by some shitty icicle spear really works you up an appetite.

"Looks goooood!" Usopp and Lucy gasped, a really strange look on their faces that made me wonder if they were human or some weird kind of drooling creature that had previously been undiscovered. Carue also popped up beside him with almost the same expression.

Sanji tic-pulsed and glared at the duck and sniper. "Yours is in the kitchen! But you can eat as much as you want, Lucy-chan~!"

I frowned, my eye's twitching increasing. For some reason, when he swooned over Nami and Vivi or even me, it didn't annoy me as much as it did when he started hitting on Lucy.

Usopp and Carue raced for the kitchen, and after a moment of hesitation, Lucy tore after them. I blinked, wondering why she had chosen to go for those when she had some right here. I shook my head and shrugged it off as more Lucy craziness. I smiled and selected one petit four that looked like a little piece of cake with chocolate icing, taking a cautious bite of it. My eyes lit up. It was delicious! I popped the rest of the dessert into my mouth, grabbing for a few more greedily.

"Arigatou, Sanji-_kun_," I said, putting emphasis on the -kun and smirking at Nami, who was looking even more tired than she had a moment ago.

The stupid love cook swooned.

* * *

On a small ship in the middle of the Grand Line, a man dressed in a black suit, a green dress shirt, and a checkered tie frowned. He had a cold feeling that his subordinate wasn't coming back. He wondered what the Boss would say when he showed up by himself. If he got demoted _again_... damn that fem-boy. He always had to make things complicated. He always had to get in the way of everything. Every time, every dimension, it had happened the exact same way. That moron Ug Lee would die, and _he_ would be stuck with the power, upped into a higher level of being. He would perfect the power, make it stronger, but the fem-boy would still find a way to win. _Again and again and again._

But now there was a difference.

And Mr. 6 would use it to ensure the victory of him and his colleagues.

He lifted up his hand, a ball of light blinking into existence as it unfurled.

* * *

"Vivi, Diamond-chan... gomen, but I need to go... to my room."

The simple, choppy sentence from our navigator brought the desert princess and I out of the silent reverie we'd fallen into. Vivi had clearly been thinking of her country as she stared at the Eternal Pose, and I'd been remembering my mom, Cracked-Up Kane, and Jason. The petit fours had long since been consumed. As Nami suddenly collapsed, her cheeks tinged an unhealthy red, I suddenly remembered that the whole reason the Straw Hats had went to Drum Kingdom and recruited Chopper at all was because Nami got sick.

Vivi fell to her knees beside our navigator, shaking her lightly. "Are you okay?" she gasped.

Nami was unresponsive.

"Oh my gods..." I said, horrified at the mapmaker's pale face. "N-Nami!"

"Minna, come quick!" Vivi called worriedly to the kitchen, where Zoro, Lucy, Usopp, Sanji, and Carue were finishing up their desserts. No, wait, I take that back. Zoro was still training in the crow's nest. "There's trouble!"

"Get your asses down here now!" I added.

The sounds of Zoro's training stopped abruptly and the door to the kitchen open, revealing Lucy, Usopp, Sanji, and Carue with food stuffed in their mouths. "Why?" asked the captain. "What's wrong, Vivi, Diamond-chan?"

"Nami-san's come down with a high fever!" the princess reported.

Sanji let out a dangerous howl and shoved Usopp and Carue aside to make his way through the door. "EH!? NAMI-SWAN HAS _WHAT!?_"

Everyone crowded around Nami, who wasn't doing well at all. The pink tinge was getting pinker and her face otherwise paler. Her breath was coming out in ragged gasps. She was laying haphazardly on the lower deck. Even her ears were red, like an embarrassed Ron Weasley.

"Na...mi..." I murmured.

Vivi and I, being the only ones who could be trusted with the task of moving Nami safely (Lucy and Usopp were so stupid they'd probably bash Nami's head against the door, Sanji was a pervert, Zoro was still keeping watch, and Carue was a duck) hefted our nakama through the trapdoor in the storage room and into the girls' cabin. I'd only been in there long enough to change clothes before - - though Nami and Vivi had insisted that because I was a girl now, I'd need to do make up and my hair and shit like that, and they'd promptly spent almost an hour playing with my face - - so I got my first real good look at the place, now that I wasn't distracted by clothes, make up, or other girly stuff.

The girl's cabin was about as large as two average college doors. The room had a minibar, a bookshelf with random novels shoved as tightly as possible onto the shelves, a bed, a couch, a table, a desk covered with Nami's maps, and a little bookshelf-like thing that had a bunch of random surveyor tools. Not that I'd know anything about that.

Vivi and I set Nami on the bed carefully and covered her with sheets. Sanji, Lucy, Usopp, and Carue followed us down soon after, all with morbid expressions.

"Is she gonna die?" moaned Sanji miserably, sniffling as tears poured out of his eyes. "Well, is she, Vivi-chan? D-Diamond-chan?"

I smirked. "She ain't gonna die. She's a Straw Hat! Although we _will_ have to get a doctor if we want her to live."

Vivi soaked a rug in cold water and squeezed it, then placed it on Nami's forehead. "The sickness is probably due to the climate," she guessed. "One of the obstacles seafarers invariably face upon entering the Grand Line is the threat of illness due to the unnatural climates. It's not unusual for fearless kaizoku, even those with great reputations in other seas, to succumb to the climate and pass away. Even the slightest of symptoms may lead to death if they are not treated immediately."

Sanji's crying resembled a mini waterfall.

"Good guess, but I'd say it's the cause of that bug bite Nami was complaining about on Little Garden," I amended. "Remember how she was itching a red spot on her stomach?"

The bluenette frowned as Sanji's bemoaning increased. "That could be it, too... Is there anyone here with even the slightest medical knowledge?"

Blinking, Lucy, Usopp, and I pointed to Nami while the ero-cook continued to sob.

Our female captain grinned and shrugged. "But she'll get better if she eats some meat! Ne, Sanji?"

I sweatdropped. "Not everyone's like you, Luce..."

The cook sniffed again and wiped his eyes. "Well, I _am_ going to prepare her food that should help with her recovery, but all that amounts to is nursing. Just feeding her the right food won't be enough." He looked at the navigator like he was seeing her grave, lighting another cigarette to keep him company. "And besides, while we're at sea, I make Nami-san's, Vivi-chan's, Diamond-chan's, and your food with a hundred times more care than the rest of those chumps', including that bastard Damon before Konton killed him. I give you all the freshest meat and vegetables. And then all the rotten shit - -" he pointed at Usopp and Carue with a slightly bored expression "- - is what I feed you guys."

"Oi!" Usopp complained, drawing his hand across the face.

I grinned. "But even that tastes good!"

"Eh? How would you know, Diamond-chan? I don't give you any rotten stuff..."

Lucy blinked. "What are you talking about? We didn't leave Damon on Swap Island. She's right here."

Sanji frowned. "What are _you_ talking about? You're not making any sense. Since when was Damon a 'she?'"

"Since Swap Island."

"Eh? That can't be right..."

I sweatdropped. "Oi, Lucy-chan, I'm right here, ya know..."

Blondie shrugged and returned to examining his beloved Nami. "In any case, as long as I am this ship's cook, there will never be a problem with nutrition. But when preparing food for a sick person, you have so much to consider. What her symptoms are and what they require nutritionally... I can't make that diagnosis."

"Ne, then just feed her all of them," Lucy said dismissively.

"What sick person's gonna have the energy to do that?" I deadpanned.

Vivi took Nami's temperature and gasped as she looked at the thermometer. "4-40 degrees Celsius!? Her fever has gone up!"

"There'll be doctors once we get to Alabasta, right? How much longer 'til we get there, Vivi?" Usopp demanded.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think we can possibly get there within a week."

I frowned. "She won't last that long at this rate. If her fever gets much higher, she could _die_."

Lucy blinked. "Die? Is being sick really that painful?"

Sanji, Usopp, and I folded our arms across our chests and tilted our heads, saying in unison, "I dunno, I've never really been sick before."

Vivi rounded on us with shark-like teeth. "JUST WHAT _ARE_ YOU PEOPLE?! DIAMOND-CHAN, YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN SICK AT LEAST ONCE! YOU WERE ON THE STREETS FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

I shrugged. "My world has really good doctors. We get shots as kids that strengthen our immune systems against bad diseases and we retake them when we're teenagers."

She sighed. "I know you can, but can't the rest of you see what kind of situation we're in!? A 40 degree fever is a dire matter! Like Diamond-chan said, that means this sickness could be life-threatening!"

The three of them freaked out.

Sanji's crying went from waterfalls to geysers, Usopp and Carue raced around the room in full-out panic mode, and Lucy's rubbery jaw literally dropped to the floor as she shrieked, "NAMI'S GOING TO DIE!?"

I hit them over their heads, tic-pulsing and shouting with shark teeth, "WHY DO YOU BELIEVE HER, BUT NOT ME!?"

Vivi tic-pulsed, too. "PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER AND QUIET DOWN!"

"We've gotta find a doctor!" Lucy declared, her face blue. "We gotta have him save Nami!"

"I know, just please calm down! You're going to disturb her!"

Nami's voice came out almost deathly quiet. "No... no." Everyone froze and moved in closer to hear what she had to say. She sat up slowly, clutching the damp rag on her head and taking it off. Lucy stated happily that she was cured, which Usopp shot down quickly with a sharp jab to the back of her head. Nami panted some more and said, "In my desk drawer... there's a newspaper."

Vivi and I blinked at each other and raced to her map desk, throwing open the drawer and pulling out the paper. The article on the headline made our eyes widen.

"N-No way..." Vivi whispered.

"Oh my gods, Vivi..." I said in a small voice.

"Nani?" Lucy wondered, trying to look over our shoulders. "Ne, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Is it about Alabasta, Vivi-chan?" Sanji inquired seriously.

The desert princess clenched her fists, wrinkling the paper. "'300,000 Imperial Soldiers have defected to join the Rebel Army,'" she read. "At the outset, there were 600,000 Imperial Soldiers suppressing 400,000 rebels, but in one stroke, the odds have...!"

Nami panted and nodded, wearing a dark expression. "Now the rebellion in Alabasta will start to gain momentum. That paper's from 3 days ago. Gomen. Even if I'd showed it to you, it wouldn't have changed our ship's speed. I thought that it would only cause you more stress, so I hid it. Do you understand, Lucy?"

The future Pirate Queen frowned and hummed. "Hmm... well, I get the impression that things are very bad."

"Good, you picked up more than I thought you would."

"Even when she's got a fever of 40 degrees Celsius, Nami is very cold," I observed.

Usopp raised his hand. "Um, but if we don't get you to a doctor soon - -"

"I'm fine," she insisted, smiling weakly. "That thermometer's just broken. No one can have a body temperature of 40 degrees Celsius." She shoved the bedsheets off of her and swung her feet off the bed. Vivi and I scrambled away from her bed to make room for her as she stood up and walked to the stairs up to the storage room. "It's probably just a little heatstroke. I don't need to see a doctor. It'll go away by itself. Let's just go straight to Alabasta like we planned, okay?" She turned and grinned. "Arigatou for worrying about me."

She stumbled up the steps and opened the hatch.

"Oh, she's cured?" Lucy concluded.

"Baka, she's just putting on a brave face," Usopp informed her.

"And you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" I pointed out, smirking slyly.

"Oi!"

There was a slight pause, then Vivi decided to speak up again, her voice hard. "At this rate, there will be major bloodshed in my country. It will become a war! If I don't stop this, Alabasta will crumble! Crocodile will seize the throne!" She hid her face in the paper, crying softly. "Just getting there alive isn't enough anymore! I have to get there as soon as possible! If I don't make it in time, one million of my people will engage in meaningless slaughter!"

Lucy very nearly choked. "There's _1,000,000_ people!?"

"That's not very impressive to me," I cut in. "The total census of my world is seven billion, and there are over three hundred million of those in my country alone."

"3-3-300,000,000!? 7,000,000,000!?"

"Just how big is your planet, anyway?" Usopp demanded, gaping.

"What a terrible burden for you to carry, Vivi-chan..." Sanji murmured, totally ignoring us.

"OI!" came Zoro's sudden shout. "GET YOUR ASSES ABOVE DECK, NOW! WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO!"

We sighed and raced upstairs. "Nani?"

"What the hell?" Sanji complained, glaring at Zoro, who was leaning against the railing above the storage room casually. "I ain't gonna take any orders from you."

"Just shut up and get to work!" the swordsman spat. "Pivot the sails to catch wind from port."

"What's happening, Nami-san?" the ero-cook asked. Said navigator was in the same part of the ship as Zoro, except she was leaning over the ocean. "The waves are calm and the weather's fine."

"The wind..." Nami panted.

"...Wind?"

"A large wind... is going to hit us head on... I think." She turned to see that Lucy had leaped up there and was now reaching out and putting a hand on her forehead. Suddenly she pulled back and blew on it.

"Hot!" she screamed. "You're burning up! We need to stop the ship and get you to a doctor!"

"Just mind your own business! This is my normal temperature! Quit fooling around and man the ropes!"

"Normal temperatures don't burn rubber peoples' hands, or any hands for that matter," I told her, glancing at Lucy's steaming, slightly swollen hand.

"Nami-san," Sanji tried, "I know that this is for Vivi-chan's sake and everything, but you don't have to work yourself so hard..."

Carue quacked in agreement while Usopp put his hands on his hips and nodded sagely.

The navigator sent us an annoyed glare. "I told you that I'm fine!"

"Oi, Nami, you really - -" the local liar started.

"I DON'T CARE! Just move the ship!"

We jolted and ran to our storm posts, as Nami had dictated us thousands of times before. Even Carue jumped to action, attempting to help Usopp at the steering rudder. Zoro, Sanji and I secured the ropes while Lucy turned the sails. Once the ship started turning to the right, a certain straw hatted girl jumped onto her special captain's seat.

"Ne, minna!" came Vivi's voice as she walked out of the storage room.

We turned to her.

"I realize that this is a lot for me to ask after being allowed to ride on your ship, but..." She paused. "Right now, my country is falling towards a terrible fate. Therefore, I want us to hurry forward! I cannot afford the slightest delay! I need this ship to continue on to Alabasta at it's fastest speed!"

Nami gave a feeble smile. "Of course. We promised you, didn't we?"

We stared at the desert princess, waiting to see what she had to say next.

"Well, then, " said Vivi, grinning, "let's go find an island with a doctor!" Nami blinked as she continued. "We must get Nami-san cured as quickly as possible, and then head to Alabasta! That's this ship's 'maximum speed,' isn't it?"

We nodded, smiling.

"That's right!" Lucy agreed. "Doesn't go any faster than when Nami's healthy!"

"You sure about this?" Usopp asked her. "As the princess, you have a million people to worry about, right?"

"That's right! And that's exactly why we must get Nami-san well as soon as possible!"

Sanji smirked, his cigarette smoking. "Well said, Vivi-chan! I'm in love all over again!"

"You were never out of love in the first place," I deadpanned. I appeared to be doing a lot of that lately.

Zoro smirked, too. "She's got guts."

Nami stumbled to Vivi. "Gomen. I'm sorry about this." She almost collapsed on the railing but Vivi caught her just in time.

"Please don't strain yourself, Nami-san," the bluenette begged.

The redhead smiled at her and repeated her previous words. "Gomen... Vivi... I think I might be in a little trouble here." She sank into Vivi's arms.

"Nami-san, hold on!"

"She's got a fever of 40 and she says she _might_ be in a _little_ trouble?" I echoed, wondering whether I should laugh or worry about our navigator's sanity. She was really resembling a tsundere character right about now. Come to think of it, there aren't really any tsunderes in One Piece... huh. Kinda weird.

But enough of my ADHD.

I mean, seriously. Enough.

Suddenly, Lucy let out a panicked scream and pointed back in the direction we'd been headed in before, her face blew and her jaw dropped in shock. "WHOA! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

We looked in the direction she was pointing in and ogled at the sight. There, swirling madly a good three miles away from us, was a gigantic tornado. And when I say gigantic, I mean that it looked like the darkened sky had reached down to the sea with unforgiving tendrils and eaten fifty packets of Skittles. That was how crazy and strong the tornado was. I could feel its pull from here, and we were miles away from it. ...Oh, so that was what the wind I was feeling was...

It was quite the humbling experience.

"OH MY FREAKIN' GODS!" I gasped. "IT'S THE MOTHER OF ALL TORNADOES!"

"It's a cyclone!" Vivi shouted.

"It's HUGE!" Lucy hollered.

"That's what she said," I snickered.

"Hentai," Usopp accused.

"M-MATTE!" the local princess called. "Wait a second! That direction is..."

"The same direction we were headed before!" Sanji finished.

"If we'd gone that way, we'd have hit it straight on!" Usopp declared.

Lightning cracked, thunder roared, and the wind threatened to rip our sails right off the Merry. How we ever made it out of that storm, I had no idea, but once a bolt of lightning struck the sea so close to us that I could swear I felt a small electrical shock.

"That was _too close_!" Lucy yelled over the storm, clutching the main mast and her hat desperately.

"What an amazing navigator..." Vivi murmured.

"YOSHA! Let's get a move on! We're gonna get a doctor!" our captain commanded.

We all punched the air, grinning. "AYE-AYE!"

Thirty minutes later, we had successfully evaded the cyclone and were sailing among calm waters once more. The only difference was that the temperature was rapidly dropping. In the span of a few seconds, I went from being perfectly fine to seeing my breath and feeling like I was moving through molasses. Sanji saw this and rushed to get me the pink fur winter coat that Nami had forcibly bought me back in Swap Island. I usually despised anything pink, but I was grateful for the extra warmth now. As I slowly recovered from my near coldtastrophe, I realized that I could see snow descending gracefully upon the Merry.

"It's snowing..." I whispered.

Lucy, still dressed in naught but her usual red vest and jean shorts (crazy girl), craned her head up to look at Zoro, who had returned to acting as lookout in place of me. "Oi!" she called. "See any doctors?"

"He's not just gonna _see_ a doctor, baka," Usopp told her bluntly, wrapped up in a brown fluffy coat.

Zoro, swaddled in a a tan blanket, lowered his binoculars. "Hey, guys," he said. "You think people can stand on the ocean?"

I shrugged. "Unless they're Jesus or a demigod of the sea... nope. And Aeso told me that I'm now his last child in this world."

"You wanna know if people can stand on the ocean?" Lucy asked.

"Zoro, what are you talking about?" Usopp wondered.

The swordsman returned the binoculars to his eyes. "Well then, what's that?"

"What's what?" inquired Lucy as we turned around.

"What do you mean?" Usopp agreed.

A little ways in front of our ship, with snow falling all around him, a man dressed in a strange jester-like costume stood.

On the ocean.

"N-Nani!?" I gasped, my jaw dropping.

* * *

**And thus starts the Drum Kingdom Arc! Next chapter holds an awesome battle aboard the Going Merry! Stay tuned for more epic Jackie Chan! Sorry that this took so long. I haven't had much time to work on this chapter. My weekend's been very busy, and I also 'discovered' an epic time travel anime, _Steins;Gate_. I know a lot of you won't see this right away because of the Super Bowl, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
**

Diamond: Dammit! I'm missing the Super Bowl!? ...And how the hell's that guy standing on the sea!?

Lucy: EH!?

Zoro: What the hell's going on!?

Usopp: It's the g-ghost of Jesus! In a... jester costume...?

Diamond: Baka, Jesus went straight to heaven, as do all spirits. There's no such thing as ghosts.

Perona: *makes a Negative Hollow* Wanna say that again?

**I hope you like the story so far! If you do, I'd appreciate it if you would follow and/or favorite this novel of the fanfiction. Following _From the East_ won't allow you to get updated whenever I come out with a new chapter for _Across the Sands_. Oh, and please leave a review saying... anything you want to say about my series! Please note that although I appreciate popularity, it ain't necessary for continued updates, brudda.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	21. No 21: The Ambush by a Corrupt King!

**The Drum Kingdom Arc is coming on quickly, folks! Hold onto your hats and ready your red solo cups, because the crew's gonna recruit Chopper soon! Well... okay... not for a few chapters yet, but you know what I mean. On a totally unrelated subject, for those of you who like time travel, I sincerely suggest the anime ****_Steins;Gate_****. It's an awesome take on the genre in which Okabe Rintaro, a self-proclaimed 'mad scientist,' accidentally discovers his lab's microwave can send text messages called D-mails back in time. Thus begins an intricate maze of world lines Okabe must find his way through in order to save the world from a future dystopia and his friends from death. Anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Otaku-san32:** I see what you mean, but no, I haven't. Although he/she has an iPod and a laptop with an eternal battery, he/she can't be expected to remember every detail about the arc. At the beginning, sure he/she'll remember a lot, but once things start heating up, anyone would forget about some things. And for the sake of non-Gary-Stu-ness, the things Damon/Diamond forgets just happen to be the most important things. XD Oh, and she did mention the reason the Giants fought. Heh, to tell you the truth, I don't give a damn about football. I don't even know who the hell was in the Super Bowl this year. lol! ... ... ...I need a life.

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **dB Yuppers! As much as she would like to believe she's a respectable, non-pervert Christian, Sanji is rubbing off on her. Er... Not in that way... *clears throat awkwardly.* Sometimes I switch on the TV for the SB commercials, sometimes not. This year I didn't. I heard there were a few really good ones, though.

**DarkLord98: **Oh my freakin' AESO, that is PERFECT! XD Sanji would be both horrified and in love with himself at the same time! lol! Unfortunately, I don't think I'll do that. That would just be a bit too crazy, even for me. I think that might be a bit too far out of my comfort zone. If someone did a one-shot about that, though, I'd definitely read it.

**OPFan37: ***gives thumbs up* No problem! Oh, and arigatou! Your OC was a really good idea! I'll be able to create a good fight scene with this one. Is there a limit to how strong his armor can get, though? I'm thinking there must be. If you give it to me in terms of Luffy's attacks, I'll be able to work from there. (i.e., Is it strong enough to hold against, say, four Gum-Gum Bazookas, or maybe two Gum-Gum Jet Bazookas?)

**Chapter 21 start!**

* * *

Moving Onward to Drum Kingdom!

The Ambush by a Corrupt King

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_A little ways in front of our ship, with snow falling all around him, a man dressed in a strange jester-like costume stood._

_On the ocean._

_"N-Nani!?" I gasped, my jaw dropping._

"I-I-It's a... a... a clown!" I murmured, backing up, my eyes widening in fear. Just because I'd faced an entire pirate crew of the ugly little things doesn't mean I'd gotten over my strange fear of clowns. And the man standing on the ocean looked like a hell of a lot like a clown. He had on really weird clothes: A blue and green diamond patterned sweater, a fur cape, abnormally large gray gloves, green pants, and some weird kinda hood with bells on the ends. A bow and and a quiver of arrows were strapped to his back. His shoes looked way too big for his feet.

"That's not a clown," Zoro corrected me. "That's a jester."

"WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!?" I snapped.

Lucy and Usopp ignored us, staring at the clown/jester in disbelief. They blinked and rubbed their eyes, but it clearly didn't do anything, seeing as the weird man was still standing _on the freakin' ocean_.

We seized up him.

He seized up us.

"My, it sure is cold today," the clown said.

Lucy, Usopp, and I flinched and looked at each other, though my knees were knocking because of my coulrophobia - - and that's a real word meaning 'fear of clowns,' FYI.

"Y-Yeah, it is kinda cold out today," Lucy agreed, glancing at me with an expression that said she was clearly disturbed by the fact that there was somebody actually standing on water... besides me, that is.

Usopp nodded, his long nose quivering a little. "Yeah, it's cold, r-real cold. Really cold today."

"Freezing, in fact," I added, shivering.

"You think so too?" said the clown.

The three of us down standing directly behind the figurehead swiveled around and stared at him, our eyes widening in a way that would probably have been very comical if I had been watching it in the anime. Zoro's eyes widened in the same way, and strangely enough, so did the clown's.

"I think I need to get more sleep," I muttered. "Or maybe I fell asleep and I'm just having a really weird nightmare or something."

And then, as if things couldn't get any stranger, my neck suddenly tingled and the water below us pushed upward, flinging our little ship back down to the sea unceremoniously. I felt my stomach stay in the air and I just barely managed to grab something to hold onto in time. When the Going Merry had stopped sliding back and I'd calmed the ocean down enough, we could all see what had disturbed the sea: A giant wall of curvy metal and wood with some kind of large pillar on top.

Usopp was sent tumbling backward while Lucy had wrapped herself around my middle, causing my face to turn red enough that I almost couldn't feel the cold. Just a little higher and she would've... she would've grabbed... you know, I'm not even gonna say it. Too embarrassing...

"What is that thing?" Lucy wondered, reaching back for her flying straw hat as she let go of me. "A watermelon?"

"No way is that a watermelon, dumbass!" I retorted.

"IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO NAMI-SAN, YOU SHITHEADS ARE DEAD!" Sanji roared from the women's cabin, where he was keeping a close eye on the sick Nami with Vivi and Carue.

Now that the thing had stopped rising, we could see that the top half of it, the metal part, was curved inward like the outside of a very large dome. And the bottom part of it closely resembled a ship of some sort.

"Could that thing be... a ship!?" Zoro guessed incredulously.

"A submarine, maybe?" I spoke up.

Sure enough, the metal parts fell outwards and sank into the ocean to reveal a circular ship with no figurehead, though that was quickly being solved by a waterwheel, which was turning a kind of vertical conveyer belt on the front of the ship, lifting up a figurehead in the shape of a hippo wearing a crown. The ship had flower/star designs on the hull. As we watched in amazement, a black flag whipped with the wind at the very top of the mast: A skull and crossbones wearing a crown, though the skull resembled a hippo's head and had a tongue sticking out.

Usopp winced and backed up. "Oh, crap! A-A kaizoku ship!"

"It's huge!" I said, pulling a Lucy.

Lucy's jaw dropped. "S-Sugeeee!"

Zoro was unimpressed. "We don't have time for this," he complained.

A loud cackle resounded from somewhere on the ship as many lackeys, all dressed in green fur coats and hats and carrying long rifles, popped up on the different levels of the huge ship that completely dwarfed the Merry. Then someone said this: "Surprised you, didn't it? This is my Giant Diving Ambush Ship: The Bliking! Mahahahaha!"

I sweatdropped. "Wouldn't it have just been easier to call it a submarine?"

The lackeys piled onto the Merry in large numbers, pulling their rifles on us and forcing us to put our hands in the air. They even scrambled up the main mast and immobilized Zoro. As we stood there, shivering our asses off in the freezing weather, someone jumped from the submarine to the railing of the Merry... a very short, very overweight someone who had a large chunk of meat pierced onto a cutlass.

He was one weird dude, let me tell ya. He had on tin-plate armor, a white hooded cape made from some kind of animal skin, a pair of purple and orange wool shorts, had spiky purple hair, and short, thick boots.

"He's a midget," I commented bluntly.

All of the midget's crew (by the air of importance I got from him, I could only assume he was captain of the enemy pirate ship) fell over anime-style.

The weirdo looked like he was gonna order my immediate death or something as he bit off a chunk of the meat angrily, but he was cut off by Sanji, who burst from the storage room, immediately attracting about four or five pirates with rifles.

Sanji paused and lit a cigarette, smoking it casually. "Eh?" he asked. "What's going on?"

Silence.

"Well, is someone gonna answer me?"

"We're under attack," Lucy supplied, picking her nose in a very unladylike manner. "Well, our ship is."

Sanji snorted. "Yeah, that's what I thought. From the look of it."

A memory was slowly climbing its way out of the recesses of the back of my mind, though I was momentarily distracted by the sight of the midget's extremely grotesque form of eating. I mean, honestly the least he could do would be to keep his mouth closed as he chewed! I could hear him munch on the meat from fifteen freakin' feet away!

"Are you lowlifes really kaizoku?" the enemy captain scoffed. "You're just a bunch of weirdos!"

_That's coming from you?_ I wanted to say, but I held my tongue. Having a bunch of loaded guns pointed at you can make you want to shut up pretty damn quickly.

"Looks like there's five of you," he continued, chomping on the sword and _swallowing the whole thing_, sword and meat and all! He was left with just a small bit of sword and the handle, which he regarded in boredom before tossing into his mouth, too. We all flinched, my mouth hurting just thinking about doing that. "No matter how you look at it, that's just not enough for a kaizoku crew."

"What's this guy's _problem_?" Lucy hissed. "He's eating a knife!"

"I thought it was a sword," I mumbled.

Usopp voiced my thoughts. "It hurts just watching him!"

"Ah, well," said the midget, having somehow eaten the knife without getting hurt. "Might as well ask. We're headed to the Drum Kingdom. Would you happen to have an Eternal Pose or even a Log Pose on you?"

"Ain't got one," Sanji told him, which when you think about it, was actually the truth. Although we as a crew had one, nobody had one personally except Nami. "Ain't never heard of any place called that either."

Drum Kingdom... a guy who ate weapons... a memory surfaced, a memory about Chopper's past and the history of his home island. Suddenly I remembered who the weirdo was: Wapol, the corrupt ex-king of Drum Kingdom who had ruled over his people with an iron fist and had eaten some kind of Devil Fruit that allowed him to take on the properties of whatever he ate.

"Matte!" I called haltingly. "I know you! You're the king of Drum Kingdom, Wapol, who ran away like a scared little kid while a bunch of kaizoku ransacked your country, leaving your people at their mercy! You bastard! How could you do that to your subjects!?"

"Oh, so you're a bad king, eh?" Lucy said, sitting beside me on the railing of the upper deck. "Well, if that's all you want, get out of here already before I kick your ass for what Diamond-chan says you did to your people! We're in a hurry. Ain't got time to waste with you."

"Finally you pay attention," I muttered.

Wapol sighed and shook his head. "Ah, don't rush your life so much." He shrugged. "If you don't have one, that's that. However, I'll be taking your treasures and your ship."

My mind strayed to the bag of 100,000 belli that sat with my suitcase in the cabinet of the girl's room.

I clenched my fists. How dare he say that he would take our ship!

Lucy glared at him, but the corrupt king wasn't done talking. "But before I do, I'm feeling a mite peckish." And with that, his mouth stretched impossibly wind and freakin' clamped onto the side of the Merry! He tore off a huge chunk of the ship and at the entire freakin' thing!

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE!?" Usopp screeched.

"He's an ability user!" I told my nakama.

"He ate a Devil Fruit?" Zoro asked.

"Don't eat our ship!" Lucy admonished, jumping off the railing to the upper deck and readying herself to drop down to the lower deck. Seven rifle barrels pointed directly at her.

"Stop moving!" one of the other pirates ordered. "Wapol-sama is enjoying his meal!"

Lucy simply glared at them and punched the two pirates closest to her out. I grinned and rolled onto the upper deck, too. Now we could fight off our momentary captors since Lucy had pretty much given the order. These guys looked so weak that I wouldn't even need to use my demigod powers. I could beat them using just Cracked-Up Kane and Prim's training.

"Now she's done it!" another pirate growled. "How can a measly girl do that to our men!? Fire!"

As bullets rang out at both Lucy and I, though they all missed me, Zoro smirked and let his blanket fall away. "Heh. We should've done this from the beginning."

"Oh, I can kick them now?" Sanji concluded, whipping off his light blue scarf.

Usopp scrambled to safety in the storage room, crying, "Matte! I'm sure we can talk this over!"

I glared at the soldiers with shark teeth. "What was that about girls being weak!?"

I evaded another spray of bullets by washing them away with my water powers - - okay, I did use my demigod powers, but only to protect myself from guns - - and ducked behind one of the enemy pirates, jabbing my hand into the back of his neck in a swift knifehand technique. He dropped to the ground like a bag of potatoes. Someone tried to knock me out using the barrel of their gun as a staff, but in one fluid motion, I unsheathed Chiwohiku and cut the gun to pieces, rendering it totally useless. I turned and drove my foot into his solar plexus with a firm back kick, the most powerful kind of kick in martial arts, and the would-be attacker fell backwards, out cold. Realizing that fighting me in hand-to-hand combat would prove useless, the rest all fired their guns at me, but I saw it coming and simply ducked, the bullets flying over my head and into their friends. I sheathed the ocean-blue longsword, smirking.

We made total mincemeat out of them, though I could feel my energy deplete a hundred times quicker than normal.

Curse my weakness to the cold. My eye twitched in annoyance.

More men saw the fight and boarded the ship, and I turned to them, brimming with a feeling of pure epicness. Five or six men surrounded me, pulling out swords. I eyed them, reading the tensing and relaxing of their muscles. One guy suddenly cut at me in an overhead strike which I sidestepped. I smoothly kicked him where the sun doesn't shine, causing him to squeal like a girl and drop to the deck, writhing in agony. I ducked under another swipe from a guy carrying two tonfa like Ghin - - it was a bit impressive that he could hold such heavy weapons, but a few punches felled him. My neck tingled in warning and I smirked, rolling to the side. A sword bit into the deck of the Merry where I'd just been standing, held by another pirate. I glared at him for hurting our ship and punched his face with enough force to dent his cheek. Coughing blood, he was thrown over the edge of the Merry and into the cold sea.

"Any other takers?" I called, cracking my knuckles.

"W-Wapol-sama!" a pirate stammered, stepping back. "These... these guys... and even the girl...!"

Wapol simply ignored his subordinate and continued eating the side railing of our ship, making my blood boil at the sight. Lucy roared at him and churned through her opponents like a raging bull.

"YOU'RE _STILL_ EATING!?" she shouted in anger, running to him.

"This ship isn't half bad," the corrupt king mused, cheerfully munching away.

"Hey, you!"

One of the pirates standing next to me said, "Baka! You're no match for Wapol-sama!"

"You'll be eaten alive by the power of the Baku-Baku no Mi; the Munch-Munch Fruit!" his buddy agreed.

"Say that _after_ you've seen the enemy fight!" I admonished, panting, somersaulting over a pirate, latching onto the back of his collar, and tossing him into his rather shocked friends.

Lucy stretched her arms back as Wapol stretched his mouth wide... and chomped down on her, everything except her arms in the king's mouth. It was about this time that Vivi came out and started saying something, though because I was still busy fending off weaklings from the Merry, I couldn't concentrate on their conversation.

"You guys are like mice," I complained, punching another opponent into the sea. "No matter how many I knock down, more keep popping up! Tempest Water Shot... Crescent Moon!" I called, drawing water into my hands and throwing it in a long line of droplets. The men were knocked back into the side of our ship with enough force to crack the railing, making me wince. Whoops.

We'd either defeated all of the pirates or the rest were too scared to come, because I'd finally ran out of enemies to fight. I dusted off my hands, smirking.

But damn... I'd had to use my water powers after all. And I was exhausted from exerting myself so much in the cold.

Oh well.

"This girl's a chewy one," Wapol commented through a mouthful of rubber girl, trying to eat her unsuccessfully.

"Why you...!" Lucy shouted from in his mouth, voice muffled. The king paused, his eyes widening comically. "Get lost! Gum-Gum Bazooka!"

Wapol was sent flying out into the sea, smashing through a bit of ship as he went. I oo'ed and ah'ed, putting my hand to my forehead like I was shielding my eyes as I watched the annoying king go. Soon enough, all that could be seen of him was a twinkle in the sky.

"Wapol-sama...?" said the clown from before, standing behind the figurehead of his ship with two other weirdos and some more lackeys.

Lucy, Sanji, Zoro, Usopp, and I smirked as Vivi stared out to sea with a sweatdrop.

The enemies onboard the enemy ship were staring out in the direction Wapol had been sent flying, too, their jaws dropped with a such a comical look of utter shock on their faces that I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

The clown jolted. "H-Hey, we've gotta run! Those girls and their men played around with Wapol-sama like he was their doll!"

I glared at him darkly. "Oi, what do you mean, _their men_?"

"What a terrible thing to do!" one of the other weirdos, a guy with an afro, big boxing gloves, and an orange coat gasped. "Wapol-sama is a Hammer in the water!" The jaw of their hippo figurehead dropped, revealing a passage to their ship, and a diagonal ladder slid out to our ship, which the conscious enemy pirates ran up, dragging their unconscious friends with them.

"We must get to Wapol-sama before he sinks! If we don't rescue him, he's going to drown!"

"See if I care," I huffed.

"You bitch!" the third guy snapped. He was big and was in full-body armor, like a knight, except stupider. His voice was also really squeaky, though still recognizably male. "Your friend sent Wapol-aniki-sama flying! We'll remember this!"

The clown jabbed his finger at us. "We shall return for retribution!"

"DO NOT FORGET... US!" said the Afro dude.

"Remember well!"

"Please!"

"We'll get you for this!"

Their ship retreated to the horizon, causing us to sweatdrop.

"S-So that was... a king and his subordinates?" Usopp asked in disbelief. "What were they doing playing kaizoku?"

"They're bakas," I snorted.

"Who cares what they were?" Sanji pointed out, folding his hands across his chest. "Just forget about them. We defeated their leader and took out most of their guys, anyway, so it's no big deal. Like Diamond-chan said, he may be a king, but he's just your run of the mill baka. Nothing to bother yourself about."

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK!**

* * *

The day dragged on and turned to evening. We Straw Hats grew increasingly worried about Nami, whose fever was steadily growing worse. The Sun sank below the horizon, throwing a palette of dark colors across the bottom of the sky, the dome above us already a deep navy blue, almost black. Tension was growing and we all crowded in the women's cabin, even Zoro, who was acting almost out of character. I could tell he was as anxious for Nami's restoration as the rest of us.

Lucy was being strangely quiet. Earlier this evening, she had proposed the idea that Nami needed 100 helpings of meat. That, of course, was quickly shot down by Vivi, Sanji, and I, since we had been keeping watch over her. She had then pouted and twisted her head into incredibly freaky shapes using her rubber powers, trying to make the redhead smile.

"Maybe if we... threw some cold water on her... her fever would go down," she had mused, earning her two prompt kicks that had thrown her into the back wall.

"The sun's going down, Vivi-chan, Diamond-chan," Sanji had said, wisely ignoring the probably unconscious Lucy. "We should drop anchor somewhere."

"You're right," the princess had agreed. "Without Nami-san's guidance, we won't be able to navigate at night."

I had nodded. "None of us know how to navigate at all. Anchoring now is the safest option."

A picture then fell off the wall due to the impact of Lucy smashing into said wall, hitting the aforementioned rubber girl in the head and staying in that position, for she was already out cold, or had fallen asleep or something.

We relayed the order to Zoro, who, being the strongest man onboard (as much as Sanji and I hated to admit it; I wasn't even really a man anymore), bringing us to where we were now: In the women's cabin, as I said before. I felt a bit awkward sleeping in the same room as five other people, but when it came to Nami's current health, my awkwardness seemed like an ant in Elbaf. Eventually, I managed to fall asleep., though the ceaselessly dropping temperature forced me to sleep bundled up in my coat and the warmest pajamas I had, as well as layers upon layers of blankets.

Strangely enough, Sanji was the only one who hadn't bunked there tonight, having offered to keep watch for me.

* * *

The following morning was even colder than last night. Usopp must've woken up early to fix the ship, because when I dragged myself out off the soft floor, his sleeping bag was empty and I found him working on the partly-eaten railing.

Lucy returned to her failing attempts at getting Nami to smile. After breakfast, which was awkwardly quiet without her there to steal food or otherwise cause mass chaos (she had chosen to eat in the women's cabin), Zoro went down to make sure she was okay. I heard him shout, "Geez, that's scary!" and burst out of the storage room a moment later, looking like he'd seen Brook for the first time.

I snickered at his scarred-for-life face. He took a few minutes to get over the sight of whatever Lucy was doing, then went back down to them, leaving me to my brooding.

Why hadn't I remembered that Nami's bug bite would give her such a terrible sickness? If I had, I would've sacrificed my own health for hers. She was my precious nakama, after all, even if she _was_ a manipulative, money-grubbing, soulless ginger who could hurt Lucy, Gum-Gum Fruit be damned. She may not have scored herself as high a place in my heart as Lucy had (even though my captain didn't actually know that yet), but I would still do anything so that she wouldn't have to suffer. Arlong had already caused her enough of that.

With nothing to do to keep me from my thoughts, I decided to help Usopp fix the ship. As we hammered and nailed and patched up Merry's battle wounds, Sanji tried making light conversation with us.

"By the way," he said randomly, "notice how it's been cold every day lately?"

Usopp nodded, concentrating on his hammering so he didn't accidentally pound himself. "Yeah, I did. The temperature just suddenly decided to stabilize. Must be the fickleness of this ocean, the Grand Line..."

As the liar had said, the temperature hadn't risen or fallen a single degree since breakfast, which had been a good three hours ago, maintaining a consistent -10 degrees Celsius.

"It's not the Grand Line's fault," I corrected him. "We're approaching a Winter Island."

"Eh? Winter Island?"

"Diamond-chan's probably right," Vivi agreed, having just come out of the bathroom. Her nose was tinged red from the cold, as were all of ours. "Sanji-san, concentrate on watching the horizon."

"Hai, Vivi-chan," Sanji swooned, though it was a somewhat subdued swoon.

Usopp's hand slipped and he accidentally smashed his fingers in with his hammer, making me giggle at his pain - - and then curse my female hormones for actually making Damon Daniel Digger giggle.

"What's a winter island?" Usopp asked after shooting me a quick glare and nursing his gloved hand.

"In meteorological terms, the islands of the Grand Line are classified into four types," Vivi enlightened him. "These are Summer Islands, Spring Islands, Autumn Islands, and Winter Islands. And each of those types of islands has four distinct seasons of its own. So it's basically like this: Navigating through the Grand Line you must, at the very least, from the summer of a Summer Island to the winter of a Winter Island, be able to endure a range of 16 different seasons."

"And some undiscovered islands may have totally different climates and seasons than those," I added.

"Oh, I get it." said the sniper. "And since there's so many of these islands crammed close together, the sea in between them couldn't possibly hold a steady climate."

I nodded. "That's probably also the reason for the strange weather patterns. The weather can't decide what to do because of all the different temperatures, seasons, and everything else about the islands. The air pressure constantly fluctuates, the sea is unstable, and compasses don't even work. Even normal navigators here would be considered amazing in the four Blue Seas."

"Nami's really something else, though," Vivi murmured. "Before her, I hadn't met anyone who could predict a Grand Line cyclone. They're supposed to be _impossible_ to predict... Well, at any rate, you're both right. Therefore, whenever the climate becomes stable, it usually means that you are close to an island."

"And judging by the cold temperature, it's a safe bet that it's a Winter Island. I don't even need my psychic powers to know that. Just common sense mixed with knowledge of how things work on the Grand Line."

"They're right," Sanji gasped. "There it is! ISLAND HO!"

We face-faulted and swiveled around to look in the direction the chef was pointing to. Peeking out over the horizon was a strange-looking island white island. What appeared to be extremely tall, cylindrical, snow-topped mountains poked up from its surface. It looked like some weird winter wonderland pulled straight from some insane Japanese guy's mind.

I had never seen a more beautiful place in my life.

"There it is," I said, mostly to myself. "Drum Kingdom..."

A few moments later, Lucy dashed out of the storage room and leaped onto the goat figurehead of the Going Merry, letting out such an excited squeal that I knew she couldn't agree more with me. I _did_ have one question, though: How the hell could she be dressed in a red vest, jean shorts, sandals, and a straw hat and not even be the slightest bit cold?

"An island!" Lucy cheered. "White! It's so white! I bet it's snow! An island of snow!"

"Oi, Lucy," Sanji spoke up. "As much as I hate telling a girl that they can't do something, we _cannot_ go on an adventure this time. We're here to find a doctor! After we have one look at Nami-san, we're gonna be leaving right away!"

I hit him over the head. "Baka. What if one of us gets sick again, or really badly injured? What happens then? We'll need to recruit a doctor sooner or later. Why not do it now?"

"Of course, Diamond-chan~! You're so beautiful when you're assertive~!"

"Urusai," I moaned.

"White~! It's so white~!"

Usopp was shivering, though whether this was because of the extreme cold or a bout of fear, I couldn't tell. He stammered, "M-M-M-Matte, is this safe? If there's snow, couldn't there be snow monsters or something!? We don't even know if there's gonna be people here or not, isn't that the biggest problem?! OH NO! My If-I-Go-To-That-Island-I'll-Die Disease is acting up again!"

"Snow... I love snow 'cause it's so white~!"

I facepalmed. "Without Nami, this crew is one big idiot."

"Guess I'll go prepare to dock," Sanji sighed.

"I'll help you," I groaned.

As we got closer and closer to Drum Kingdom, I was able to make out the fact that the cylinder mountains weren't the only mountains there; normal mountains were abound as well. And the snow... snow was everywhere. The temperature was so cold that just going through the simple motions of preparing to dock felt like a marathon to me, though Sanji was nowhere near as restricted as I was.

I found myself cursing the fact that I was weak to coldness again. It was beginning to make me feel useless.

We watched the Winter Island approach us, the mountains looming in the distance. Sanji spotted another river along the coast, which we entered, 'oohing' and 'ahing' over the sights Drum Kingdom presented to us.

_Another river?_ I snorted in my head. _I'm really starting to see a recurring theme here..._

"So much snow~!" Lucy moaned in excitement. "I'm so happy~!"

Sanji, with his arms folded across his chest and his swirly eyebrow raised, looked mildly impressed. "Huh. This place is really something else. Get a load of those weird-ass mountains."

Usopp regarded our captain with a sweatdrop. "O-Oi, by the way, Lucy, aren't you cold wearing just that?"

"The temperature is -10 degrees Celsius!" Vivi reminded her. "At that temperature, bears start getting ready to hibernate!"

"I'm freezing and I have a sweater, two pairs of sweatpants, three pairs of socks, a winter hat, two pairs of gloves, a winter coat on, and my leather jacket underneath that," I huffed. "And I really don't like the fact that everything's pink except the socks and my jacket... Damn that Nami... if she wasn't sick right now, I'd kick her ass for this."

There was an awkward minute-long silence, in which the straw hatted girl turned and looked at us in confusion, blinking.

Lucy face-faulted and shivered. "It's really cold!"

Usopp and I slid into view with shark teeth. "COULD YOU _BE _ANY SLOWER!?"

Zoro abandoned Nami Duty soon after that, coming above-deck to see the island for himself. The swordsman was bundled up in a light blue jacket watch a patch on the shoulder stating the company logo - - 'DXP.' As we continued to scan the river in front of us, we realized that in a few minutes, our progress would be halted by a raised piece of land and a mini waterfall cascading down the side of it.

"It's a waterfall made by the snow melt," Vivi informed us. "I think we can dock the ship somewhere around here."

Zoro nodded, taking her word for it. "Okay. Someone has to go look for a doctor. ...Actually, we'd better find some people first."

Lucy, having changed into a maroon winter coat with fur trimmings on the hood, raised her hand quickly. "I'll go!"

"I'm going, too!" Sanji offered.

I shrugged. "I'm bored anyway."

"You seem to get bored easily, Diamond-chan," Vivi noted.

"Great!" Usopp approved, making sure to stay far away from our group. "Get going!"

But before we could even dock, much less disembark, a long line of men with rifles appeared on the high ground of both river banks, one line per bank. My immediate impression was that Wapol and his band of weirdos had somehow beaten us to Drum Kingdom, but upon closer examination, I realized that these weren't the same guys. They didn't have those dark green uniforms, for one thing, and not all of them had rifles. Several carried what looked like early versions of the Mossberg 500, and others were armed with simple pistols.

"Halt!" one of them shouted. "Stop right there, kaizoku!"

Vivi gasped.

"Dammit!" I cursed, curling my hands into fists. "We don't have time for this! We need to get Nami to a doctor!"

Lucy blinked. "Oi, here's some people."

Usopp frowned. "But... they don't look very happy to see us..."

"Well, we _are_ kaizoku," I pointed out.

A big man with a face that somewhat resembled an ox stepped forward. His hair was slicked back and he wore a long green tunic with white fur lining. He had a matching hat with long flaps that covered his ears, probably to help keep out the cold. Some kind of weapon with a very large oval-shaped, tipped blade hung on a sheath strapped to his back. He also had on deep brown boots. His arms were covered in armored plates.

"Kaizoku," he called sternly. "We hereby demand that you depart from this shore immediately!"

Lucy ignored his orders. "We came here to find a doctor!"

"We have a sick person on board!" Vivi added.

"Please allow us to dock," I said. "Nami has a really high fever and is in danger of dieing! I swear on our honor we won't cause you any trouble!"

The men scowled at us. "You think your dirty tricks will work on us!? You filthy kaizoku! As if you care about honor!"

"This is _our_ island! We're not gonna let a bunch of kaizoku land here and invade!"

"Now take up your anchor and be gone! Otherwise we'll blow your ship out of the water!"

I snorted. "And how do you expect to do that, even if we _were _the type to attack and plunder? You'd at least need cannons or a Devil Fruit with enough power to sink ships or something. All you guys have are guns."

"Dalton has - -" one of the men began, but was cut off by one of his friends.

"Shh! Do you really want to give away our surprise defense?"

The other guy glared at the snow-covered ground and backed off.

"Oi, they really hate us," Sanji observed. "And we've only just met."

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious," I muttered.

Lucy frowned. "Oi, matte, I'm the captain!"

"For the last time, baka, it's an expression. Sheesh. Honestly."

One of the guys on the shore lost his temper. "KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" he roared, aiming his gun at me and firing. Even with my slowed reaction time due to the cold, however, I was able to see his muscles tense and I dived out of the way, the bullet missing my foot by an inch. I heard the sound of it biting into the Merry a split second before the actual crack of the gun resounded around the river.

A second later and I'd have been shot in the foot.

"They fired!" Usopp shrieked.

Sanji glared at them, face masked in hatred. "How dare you shoot at a lady! You'll regret that!"

"Stop!" I snapped. "It didn't even hit me! We don't have time to fight, chivalry be damned! We need to get Nami to a doctor as soon as freakin' possible! Do you not understand her condition!?"

The ero-cook shook with anger and stepped forward.

"Sanji-san, don't!" Vivi begged, jumping in front of him and trying to hold him back.

_BANG_.

The desert princess froze a moment, then fell to the side almost in slow motion. Everyone's eyes widened in horror as she sank to the deck of the Merry. I didn't even register the sudden flare of pain in my shoulder until a moment later.

"V-VIVI!" Lucy cried furiously.

* * *

**YES! I actually had time to finish this chapter today because school was canceled AGAIN! We've been getting a butt-load of snow here in Ohio, and when I have all day to work on my series like this, I can get a chapter done in a day. And so here you guys are!  
**

Diamond: D-Dammit! I forgot she gets shot!

Usopp: AH! Vivi!

Sanji: Th-They shot her! Damn them! How dare they shoot ladies!

Zoro: Those bastards...

Lucy: VIVI!

Nami: *dead to the world*

**Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter and the short little fight scene on the Merry! Even cold as hell, Diamond pulls off some sweet Jackie Chan. XD For those of you new to _One Piece: Full Blast_, I'd appreciate it if you would follow and/or favorite this novel of the series! Doing that to _From the East_ now wouldn't do much good for ya. Also, I'd love it if you would review! All it takes is some typing and a click of the button to say what you liked about this story, state ideas for future chapters, any enemy demons/Senshi/demigods you may or may not have in mind (please note that although demigods are numerous in number, demons are very much less so, and Senshi are even rarer than that), or anything else to do with my fanfiction. I'm open to any and all ideas, and will gladly take them into consideration. Although thanks to **OPFan37**,** **I already have an enemy for this arc. Oh, and just as a quick reminder, although popularity is appreciated, it is not necessary.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Piece. As much as I would love to be able to screw with the characters and watch my bank account overflow, that ain't gonna happen unless I switch bodies with Eiichiro Oda, and that ain't gonna happen either.

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	22. No 22: Next Objective? Climb a Mountain!

**Alrighty, minna! The Drum Kingdom Arc is in full swing now, and thanks to **OPFan37**, I have an enemy for Diamond to face! With more problems and some things changed, this arc is gonna be awesome! Okay, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**Otaku-san32: **He kinda refuses to believe Damon and Diamond are the same person, so he still flirts with Diamond but despises Damon. XD I dunno, I guess the time line will tell. If it takes them another month to get to Alabasta, yep! If not... probably not.

**OPFan37: **Oh, okay! Cool! Again, thank you! :D

**Chapter 22 start!**

* * *

Adventure on the Island Without a Name!

Next Objective: Climb Snow Mountain!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_"Sanji-san, don't!" Vivi begged, jumping in front of him and trying to hold him back._

_BANG._

_The desert princess froze a moment, then fell to the side almost in slow motion. Everyone's eyes widened in horror as she sank to the deck of the Merry. I didn't even register the sudden flare of pain in my shoulder until a moment later._

_"V-VIVI!" Lucy cried furiously._

"Dammit!" I gasped. "W-Why didn't I freakin' remember this!?"

One of our nakama had been shot and was lying on the deck of the Merry, clutching her shoulder. This was Nefertari Vivi, the blue-haired princess of the desert country of Alabasta. She was wearing a white winter coat and yellow gloves, whereas I had been forced to wear all pink, since that was the only color of winter gear Nami had bought me.

Damn did I hate pink.

"VIVI!" Lucy roared again. She glared at the man who had shot the princess and raised her fists. "WHY, YOU...!"

A man near Dalton flinched. ""TAKE AIM!"

The lines of riflemen pointed their guns at us and we were suddenly staring down the barrels of a good thirty or so guns. Zoro tensed and placed a hand on his swords. Sanji glared at them and raised his foot to a 90-degree angle.

My eye twitched. "Matte, guys!"

Lucy froze. "MATTE!? Why should we _wait!?_ Our nakama was _shot!_" Her face was twisted in a mask of fury and she started to launch herself at the offenders, but there was a flash of blue and suddenly Vivi was up again, holding her back.

"No, Diamond-chan's right!" the bluenette agreed desperately. "You mustn't fight them just because of this! I'm fine! It only grazed my arm!" She let go of a very surprised Lucy and knelt down low, prostrating herself in front of Dalton's men. "Very well, we won't dock here. But _please_, will you summon a doctor? Our nakama is suffering with a severe illness. Please help her! I beg of you!"

Lucy blinked. "V... Vivi!"

She sent her a look. "You're a failure as a captain, Lucy. Acting rashly all the time solves nothing!" Blood oozed in steady drops from her shoulder. As serious as she'd made herself, I could hear in her voice that she was biting back a shout of pain. "If you fight them, what will happen to Nami-san?"

I nodded soberly. "There's a time for action and there's a time for diplomacy. Right now is a time for the latter."

Our straw hatted captain's glare softened. She turned to the riflemen and said calmly, "Ah, gomen. I was wrong. Please call a doctor." She copied Vivi's pose, her hat falling off in the process. "Please... save my nakama."

"And that doctor might want to tend to Vivi's shot wound while they're at it," I added.

The men faltered, looking to their leader for guidance.

"I'll lead you to our village," Dalton decided, his own expression softening. He turned and waved his hand. "Follow me."

We all breathed out in relief. Vivi smiled at Lucy, saying, "See?"

"Yeah," Lucy confirmed, impressed. "You and Diamond-chan are really something else!"

The princess giggled.

I blushed.

I hadn't really noticed it before, but Lucy had a really nice butt...

* * *

My feet pounded into the white powder, the pink boots Nami had bought for me offering no resistance to the cold at all. My breath came out in visible puffs of air, and my hair was blowing in the freezing wind. Although the Sun shown brightly overhead, it provided little to no warmth. My heavy winter coat felt frozen to my skin, and I swore that if my nose got any redder, they'd stick antlers on me and call me Rudolph. My body wouldn't stop shivering. I was so cold I could barely even blink. It was like the entire island was against me. And guess who was stuck carrying a certain sick navigator?

Lucy, on the other hand, couldn't be happier. She grinned happily as she looked around her winter wonderland.

In the end, everyone had ended up coming along except for Zoro and Carue, who had been elected to keep watch over the Going Merry just in case any enemies happened to dock. All of the riflemen, whom he had found out were actually normal citizens of the country, marched alongside us, though they glanced at us warily from time to time.

Dalton, leading our procession to his village, turned to look at us over his shoulder. "I should warn you," he said. "Our country only has one doctor, a witch."

Usopp flinched. "Eh!? A witch!?"

"Huh," Sanji mused. "This country sure is weird."

"It's the Grand L-L-Line. Get used t-t-to weird." I told him.

He shrugged. "Well, what the hell country is this anyway?"

The big man leading us turned his attention back to the snow-covered path ahead. "This country does not yet have a name."

"A country without a name?" Vivi repeated, shocked. "Can there even be such a thing?"

"There c-can if the country's corrupt l-l-leader fled the m-moment he heard th-that kaizoku were here," I growled, my teeth chattering. "This is the p-place I was talking ab-b-bout earlier today, Drum K-Kingdom. If I remember correctly, s-s-some kaizoku landed h-here a year ago and d-destroyed the towns. When a f-follower brought ex-K-King Wapol the memo, he ran with h-his tail between his legs."

"You're right!" Dalton stared at me. "How do you know...?"

"Psychic," said the crew dismissively.

"Matte," Usopp interjected. "Wapol... that's the name of that weirdo who attacked yesterday and started eating the Merry, right? You said he was a king who left his people to die. Was Wapol this country's king?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but was cut off by a frightened shout of "BEAR!" from the liar. I looked a little to the right and gaped. Shifting lazily to the snow, almost upon us, was a huge bear at least three times as tall as me and four times as wide. My eye twitched. That thing needed to go on a serious diet. The enormous bear had slightly gray fur and carried... a walking stick?

My eye twitched some more as I continued to shiver miserably. "Since when d-do bears use w-walking sticks?"

"Everyone play dead!" the local wimp shrieked, falling sideways into the cold snow.

"A Hiking Bear," Dalton enlightened us. "It's not dangerous. Just bow to him in the mountain-climbing manner."

I didn't really know how mountain climbers bowed to each other, but I watched as everyone else tilted their heads diagonally as we trekked past him. The bear did the same to us. I shrugged, shivering, and followed suit, though it was an awkward thing to do when you were piggybacking a sick teenage girl with abnormally large breasts, and you had abnormally large breasts yourself.

Off to the left, lying in the snow, a cloud of depression hung over Usopp, probably due to his stupidity.

Finally, after what seemed like hours later, we came to the main city of the No-Name Kingdom. Dalton held his hands out proudly, stating, "Welcome! This is my hometown, Bighorn!"

Bighorn was nothing like anything I was used to seeing, even after the month and a half I'd spent in the One Piece universe. The houses were really freaky. They had cone-shaped green roofs and were all made of brick. People bundled up tightly against the cold and strange animals roamed the snow-covered streets.

"There's some really weird animals walkin' around here," Lucy observed, shielding her eyes with a green gloved hand.

""Just what you'd expect from a snow country!" Usopp agreed.

Sanji patted Nami lightly. "Nami-san, see that? We've reached civilization!"

"Th-Thank god for weird E-Eskimo villages," I panted. "I was st-starting to think I'd n-never be w-warm again! Th-This boy needs a f-fire!"

Our host blinked. "Boy? But you have such girly features."

"Swap Island," I huffed. "C-Curse. Lady K-Konton changed my g-gender with her D-Devil Fruit powers."

Sanji looked mystified. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Ah, so that's the mystery behind Swap Island," the villager's leader mused. "I'd heard bad rumors about the place for years. How did you ever survive? You don't appear to be very strong kaizoku. Then again, considering the crew that ravaged this country last year, the Blackbeard Kaizoku, had only a few members themselves, I suppose size isn't everything."

"D-Damn straight," I agreed.

Dalton turned to the villagers and said kindly, "Thanks for your help, everyone. Anyone not on lookout duty, please return to work."

"But will you be okay by yourself, Dalton-san?" one of the men fretted. "They're kaizoku, you know, and if what that girl... er, boy, said is true, then they managed to escape from _Swap Island_ alive! They must be incredibly dangerous!"

"I do not believe they mean us any harm. Call it an old man's intuition. Trust me."

The villagers murmured among themselves.

"Dalton-san..."

"What do we do?"

"Well, if Dalton-san says so..."

"Yeah, they _do_ need our help..."

"It's probably alright..."

"Yeah."

"Then, Dalton-san, we'll leave it to you!"

"Just keep an eye on them, Dalton-san."

"Call us again if anything happens!"

The crowd dispersed, their mood now much lighter and friendlier toward is than it had been just a moment before. I'd already seen this in the anime, but being there in real life gave me more respect for Dalton. It was obvious that the villagers regarded him with deep trust. If a few simple sentences from him was enough for them to overcome their misgivings of pirates from previous experience, he must've been a very honorable man.

The ox-like man turned back to us, smiling softly. "You can stay at my house for the time being. Follow me."

We looked at each other, impressed by the respect the villagers held him in, and started to trail in his wake, but suddenly Usopp gasped and pointed to a street off to the side of ours. "Oi, look, Lucy-chan!" he gasped. "Another Hiking Bear!"

"Again?" she complained.

I looked to where the sniper was pointing. Coming toward us was a large woman dressed in a brown coat, carrying a big basket with some green veggies in it. "That's a w-woman, not a bear!" I admonished him, hitting the two doofuses over the back of their heads while our host sweatdropped.

"Ah, Dalton-san!" the overweight woman greeted. "I heard some kaizoku have landed, is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is under control," he assured her. "There's no need for concern."

The girl and the liar, having finally registered what I told them, sighed in relief and wiped their brows, earning themselves another two smacks, courtesy of me.

"Oi, Dalton-kun!" an old guy with hair that looked straight out of the time of George Washington called. "I'm looking forward to the election in two days! Everyone is saying they're going to vote for you!"

Dalton seemed shocked and somewhat scared.

"N-Nani!? Y-You shouldn't! Not someone like me... I am a man of too many sins!"

Vivi frowned and I tilted my head. Why would Dalton think that? The villagers obviously loved him, something that made me a bit jealous of him. All my life, I had only ever been frowned upon. At school, I was bullied and picked on for pulling some of the best grades in the class, not making perverted jokes, and staying well away from war video games like 'Call of Duty.' It seemed like Dalton had never experienced any of that. Well, okay, maybe he'd served under a corrupt king who had ignored his desperate council and laughed in his face, but still. I was fairly certain he hadn't been beaten up, and I was positive that he hadn't depended upon an orphan girl to save him from a gang of bullies, the same girl who would grow up to become his mother's murderer.

* * *

Dalton's house looked like a hunter's. He had a stuffed bear (not a Hiking Bear, but a vicious-looking one with its maw opened wide, glaring at me hungrily even though it was dead) hanging on the wall over the fireplace. Between the fireplace and the stuffed bear, two cutlasses were encased proudly. A row of vases and plates that looked Tibetan sat on the top of the fireplace, a flowering plant on either end. There was a single bed, which Nami was currently occupying, a table, two windows, a cabinet, and a few paintings on the other walls.

As Vivi covered Nami with a green blanket, Dalton shrugged off his wide-bladed weapon and leaned it against the wall, while we Straw Hats sat at the table, minus Lucy and Usopp. Those two morons had stayed outside to do something idiotic - - I assumed they were playing in the snow.

Honestly, one of our nakama is sick and they _play in the snow_.

"I'll get the room warmed up," Dalton said. "Forgive me for not introducing myself. My name is Dalton. I am this island's Captain of the Guard. Please excuse our hostile reception." He looked at Vivi, narrowing his eyes. "May I ask you something?"

The princess blinked. "Eh?"

"I believe that I have met you somewhere before."

She flinched and smiled forcibly. "I-I'm sure it's just your imagination!" she stammered, laughing nervously. "Er, more importantly, could you tell us more about this witch? Earlier, Nami-san's temperature rose to 42 degrees Celsius!"

"I would tell, but Lucy-chan won't let me reveal too much," I grumbled.

The Captain of the Guard's eyes widened. "N-N-Nani!? 42 degrees Celsius?"

"Her fever has been rising steadily for 3 days now," Vivi affirmed.

The man stared at our navigator, who was dragging ragged gasps from the cold air, in shock. "If it rises any higher, she will surely die," he breathed.

"Hai," I agreed. "That's why we need to know where to go to get to that witch doctor."

"We know generally what caused her sickness," the princess continued. "We believe it's a bug bite she got on Little Garden. But we don't know exactly which bug bit her, and even if we did, we would have no idea how to treat it."

Sanji grunted in frustration. "It doesn't matter, there's a doctor here! Where's this 'witch' of yours!?"

"Calm your tits, Sanji," I sighed. I was already much warmer indoors than I had been outside.

"Hai, Diamond-chwan!"

I punched him twice in the face, causing Dalton to sweatdrop at our antics. He frowned and looked out the window. "The witch? Do you see the mountains outside the window?"

Sanji nodded. "Yeah, those freakin' huge - -" We turned to see a terribly made snowman blocking the view. My eye twitched at just how bad Lucy's artistic skill really was. Beside it, a Little Garden-esque dinosaur sculpted entirely from snow and actually looking very professional.

A shout from outside made me tic-pulse.

"Hyper Mr. Snowman!" came Lucy's voice cheerfully.

It was followed by a yell from Usopp. "Snow Monster Shirora!"

I had fun smashing Lucy's snowman reject, but destroying Usopp's masterpiece was almost a shame. As I strolled back inside Dalton's house (the owner of which was sweatdropping for the third time in as many minutes), I wondered if I should send a prayer of apology to whatever god ruled over ice sculptors.

"Those mountains are called the Drum Rockies," Dalton continued once everyone was indoors and paying attention. You can see a castle atop the peak of the tallest, central mountain."

"Castle?" Usopp repeated.

"The echo here is just ridiculous," I snickered, now much warmer. Our host had lit a fire in his fireplace and served us mugs of hot cocoa, which warmed my hands as much as the fire did the rest of me.

Lucy took a sip of cocoa, sighing contentedly. "Ah, nice and warm."

I sent her a glare. "You wouldn't _have_ to warm up if you wouldn't have stayed outside, goofing off."

"Meanie," she accused, pouting so cutely I almost apologized to her.

"It is a castle without a king," the Captain of the Guard continued, ignoring us.

"Yeah, I see it," Sanji confirmed, peering out the window. I squinted. Through the slight haze of drifting snowflakes, I could just make out a grey speck on top of the tallest of the Drum Rockies. I assumed this was Drum Castle.

"Is there something about the castle?" Vivi wondered.

I nodded. "That's where our doctor lives."

"Correct," Dalton confirmed. "The woman the people call a witch, the sole remaining doctor of our country, Dr. Kureha, lives in that castle."

Sanji was mystified. "Nani? Of all places, why does she live all the way up there!?"

"She must not have too much of a problem with door-to-door salesmen," I observed.

The cook shook his head. "Fine, just call her down here, please! This is an emergency!"

"Even if we wanted to, there is no way of contacting her," the man replied.

"EH!? And she's supposed to be a _doctor_? What the hell kinda doctor is that!?"

"There is no denying her skill as a doctor, but... she is a rather strange old woman. She has lived a long life of nearly 140 years."

"140?" Usopp echoed. "And she's still _alive_!?"

"Well, they say she likes those umeboshi."

"Yep, definitely strange," I agreed.

Vivi furrowed her brow in confusion and a little worry. "But then what happens when the people of this country become sick of injured?"

"She comes down the mountain of her own free will," Dalton informed us. "She searches for patients, treats them, and then takes whatever she wants from their homes as compensation before leaving again."

The local sniper was unimpressed. "Sounds like one mean old hag."

I took another sip of cocoa. "Don't let her catch you saying that," I warned.

"Oi, oi, she sounds like a kaizoku!" Lucy opined.

"But, how does such an old woman get down from that mountain?" Vivi demanded.

I blinked and swirled a melted marshmallow in my mouth. "Yeah, I'd like to know that, too. I forgot this part."

He shrugged. "It's just an old rumor, but several eyewitnesses have reported that, on moonlit nights, she takes to the sky in a sleigh and rides down. That is the reason she is called a witch."

"Not your average fairy godmother," I remarked. "Can I have a refill?"

"Sure." Dalton poured me some more cocoa and I cheerfully added a few marshmallows to it. "They also say a strange creature comes with her, the likes of which they've never seen."

Usopp freaked out. "I-I knew it! I just knew there was one! An abominable snowman! From the snowy peaks! I just knew there'd be one! A witch with an abominable snowman! Oh PLEASE don't let us meet it!"

"We get it, baka."

Dalton frowned. "She may be our only doctor, but that old woman does not wish to have close relations with us. All we can do is wait for the next day she decides to come down the mountain."

"Oh, no!" Vivi gasped.

Lucy got to her feet and walked over to Nami's bed.

"Sonova..." Sanji muttered, still glaring out the window as if he could call Dr. Kureha here with a single look. "We don't have time to just sit here and wait! While we do that, Nami-san is..."

"Oi, Nami," our captain said bluntly, slapping the navigator's cheek softly. "Nami. Nami. Can you hear me?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Vivi, Usopp, and I face-faulted and roared at the same time, though the sniper earned a kick to the face from Sanji for 'talking trash to a lady.'

Nami's face twitched and her eyes fluttered open hesitantly. Lucy grinned, announcing her state of awareness. "Oh, you're awake! Listen, you can't see a doctor unless we climb a mountain. So we're going mountain climbing."

Usopp's jaw dropped. "Up that vertical mountain!? Are you insane!? What are you trying to do to Nami?"

"It's okay, I'll carry her," Lucy explained.

"That'll only worsen her condition!" the local princess scolded.

She tilted her head. "Nani? The sooner we see the doctor, the better, right?"

"That's true, but not like this! Look how steep and high those slopes are?"

I smirked. "And how else are we gonna get to a doctor who only comes down from a freakin' tall mountain when _she_ feels like it, eh? Who knows when the next day she comes down'll be? It could be weeks, months. Nami only has a few days left. It's either climb the mountain our kiss our navigator goodbye."

"But - -"

"I can do it," Lucy cut her off.

Usopp folded his hands across his chest. "Yeah, maybe you can, but it'd be too much stress on Nami!"

"But hey, if I drop her, there's only snow below us!"

"Even a healthy person would die instantly if they fell off of THAT mountain!" Vivi deadpanned, sounding a little shocked at just how idiotic Lucy could be.

I stared at my captain through half-lidded eyes. "Not everyone's made out of rubber, you know. Drop her and you may as well not have climbed the mountain in the first place."

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" she whined.

"Oh, and her fever is six degrees above normal!" Usopp added. "Don't you get it!?"

Sanji delivered another strong kick to his face. "Don't use that tone of voice around a lady!"

"O-Oi," Nami gasped, struggling to breathe through her sickness. "I have to... get better soon. Soon... for Vivi's sake." I had a momentary flashback to the article on Alabasta from that paper Nami showed us yesterday. Nami dragged a hand out from under her covers and raised it shakily, giving a weak smile. "Take care of me, Captain!"

Everyone stared at her in surprise except me and Lucy. Lucy just grinned, and I folded my arms under my ample chest. It was actually quite a comfortable thing to do - - though the simple action reminded me that I had _boobs_. As if the giant, slightly uncomfortable weight hanging off my chest wasn't enough of a memo.

Lucy gave Nami a high-five. "You got it! Leave it to me!"

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK!**

* * *

Dalton stared at the pair with some surprise, then extinguished his fire. I pouted at the loss of warmth, having already finished my second cup of cocoa before. As the rest of the Straw Hats present filed out of the big man's home, I asked him if he had a bathroom. He said yes and pointed to a door I hadn't noticed before. I thanked him gratefully and nipped inside for a minute or so.

Going to the bathroom as a girl is an awkward experience. For any guys wondering what it feels like, just know this: I really don't recommend it to any non-girl.

"I've had it," Usopp was complaining as I came back outside, zipping up my pink coat's zipper and pulling on my gloves. "As soon as the Captain says something, the navigator goes along with it!"

"Urusai," I sighed. "Haven't you ever heard of a thing called 'captain's orders?'"

"Oh, hey, Diamond-chan," he said.

"Do you know what kind of condition you're in, Nami-san!?" Sanji stressed.

Vivi looked worried. What else was knew? "Will you really be okay?" she fretted. "This trip may take hours."

My stomach growled. "Oh, boy, we skipped lunch..."

"Ossan, gimme some meat!" Lucy implored, piggybacking Nami. "Meat! "

"Meat...?" Dalton sweatdropped, then decided it might be better to just go do it.

My stomach growled and I blushed a little. "Ne, I might need some, too, though just beef jerky should be fine. I'll be going with you, Luce." That armored guy on Wapol's crew worried me a little. I didn't remember seeing him in the anime, though my memory might have been fuzzy. If the original Luffy could do it lugging around both Nami _and _Vivi, then I could definitely do it. Besides, there was something that Aeso had told me over the 'month and a half' of training that I wanted to try out. If it worked, I wouldn't have nearly as rough a time as the original Luffy had had.

"Oh, hontou?" She grinned. "Yay! This'll be fun!"

My blush deepened a little and my eye twitched. "J-Just because I'm... with you?"

"Yep! There's always an adventure when you're around!"

If there hadn't been snow everywhere, I would've fallen to the ground anime-style. So Lucy regards me as an adventure magnet. And here I had been thinking, maybe hoping... wait, this is _Lucy _we're talking about. Why would I want her to think I was fun?

A whisper in the back of my mind told me that wasn't what I'd been hoping at all.

I told it to shut up and stay back there.

"Yosh!" Sanji decided. "I'm going too!"

Usopp ignored him and got up in the female captain's face. "Listen, Lucy!" he lectured her. "If you trip and fall even _once_, Nami will die."

She pouted. "Eh? Even once?"

"Matte, stay still for a moment," Vivi sighed, working at tying a long piece of cloth around Lucy and Nami. "I need to tie this tight." She pulled at the makeshift rope some more, then stood up straight, evidently satisfied. "There, that should do it. I'm going to wait for you here. I'd only slow you down if I came along."

"Me too! Got it?" ...I don't even need to tell you who said that, do I?

Lucy grinned and looked over her shoulder. "Okay then! Nami, hold on tight!"

Dalton walked up to us holding a bag. "If you are truly serious about this, I will not stop you. But please ascend on the slope opposite this one. The path from here is inhabited by Lapahn." We all raised an eyebrow. "They are a ravenous species of rabbit. If you were to encounter a pack of them, you would surely die. On a happier note, this bag contains sufficient provisions for a 3-person trip up Snow Mountain."

"Might wanna add a few extra helpings to that," I commented. "Knowing Lucy, Sanji and I will starve."

For once, Lucy completely ignored the part about food. "Eh? Rabbits? But we're in a hurry. We'll be fine. Right?"

Sanji swooned. "Hai, Lucy-chwan! I'll kick any bastard rabbit that tries to attack you and Nami-san!"

"I'll punch them if this baka drowns in a pool of his own nosebleed," I assured her, slinging Dalton's bag of food on my back. "Oh, and I've got the food, don't worry."

Dalton gaped at us. "Kick them? Punch them? Don't be foolish! You will be rushing to your own deaths!"

Our captain grinned and took off. "We'll be fine! Let's go, Diamond-chan, Sanji! Before Nami dies!"

I face-faulted and tore after her, my booted feet sinking through the thick snow. "Oi, you're supposed to say things like that _before_ you start running!"

"Please don't say such ominous things, Lucy-chan!" Sanji moaned, taking off after us.

She laughed it off.

* * *

I started regretting my decision about half an hour into our side quest. Running had never been a real strong suit of mine, plus I was super cold, and I found myself starting to lag behind Lucy and Sanji. The incline we were charging up was steadily steepening. And unless it was my imagination...

"Oi, it's getting colder, isn't it?" Sanji asked.

I frowned. "Oh, so I'm not the only one who felt it?"

Lucy nodded. "Yeah, the wind's stronger, too. I'm really cold."

I glanced at her legs. "Baka. Of course you're cold! You don't even have snow boots or winter pants on; you're wearing jean shorts and sandals! I feel like a Diamond-cicle just looking at you! And I actually know how that feels, too!"

"Well, it's just my polisuu!" she declared.

Sanji tilted his head. "What's a polisuu? Do you mean 'policy,' Lucy-chan?"

"Yeah, that thing. Oh, right! You know what? People in snow countries never sleep!"

I sighed and decided to play along just to distract myself from the bitter air and the biting wind. "Oh? And why is that?"

"'Cause if they fall asleep, they'd die," she explained.

"Ah~!" Sanji cooed. "Lucy-chan is so intelligent!"

I facepalmed, then regretted that, because my glove was covered in cold, melted snow. "Baka. No person could live without sleeping. I think the world record for most days awake straight is four."

Lucy shook her head stubbornly. "It's true! I heard it from someone a long time ago!"

"Usopp?" Sanji guessed. Something large and white came hurtling at us. We glanced at it long enough to judge where it was gonna go, then ducked under it and continued running.

"No! I heard it at my village tavern!" she insisted.

"You also heard that you were gonna be a Marine from your grandfather," I pointed out. "Look how true _that_ statement was! And anyway, if what you said was true, then how come Dalton had a bed in his house?"

"...Eh? Oh, yeah! Well, that must be for when he dies."

"And what sense does _that_ make?"

I heard the sound of something snapping loudly, then looked up to see a tree tumbling right at us. My eyes widened and I increased my speed, the tree crashing to the ground just behind me. Lucy and Sanji, who were now behind _me_, simply jumped over the fallen evergreen.

"Oh, hey, listen to this! The women in snow countries all have smooth skin!" the blonde cook proposed.

Lucy blinked. "Why?"

"I thought that was black women," I said.

He shook his head. "It's fairly simple, really. When it's really cold, you have to rub your skin like this." He made a big deal of rubbing his arms. Another white thing - - I could see that it was some type of large animal now - - leaped at us, snarling. We sidestepped it. "That's how everyone's skin gets so smooth." Lucy jumped over another of the things. They were big, white, and sorta fat looking. They each had a pair of red eyes that made them seem like devil polar bears or really big, really evil rabbits. Sanji continued talking. "Smooth skin, so white it's nearly transparent. That's what Snow Country women are like!"

We dodged some more of the rabbit/bear reject babies.

"Huh?" Lucy grunted.

"And why would they be white?" I asked, jumping over an animal missile.

"Well, of course, because the color of this never-ending cloud of snowflakes soaks into their skin!"

"Oh, look!" I called randomly. "The Northern Lights! ...At daytime?"

"You're pretty dumb, you know that?" Lucy told Sanji, who seemed ecstatic to be called that by his 'beloved captain-chan.'

I sweatdropped. "That's coming from you?"

The weird creature attacking us leaped again. Sanji growled in frustration and stopped running long enough to rear his leg back. "And... I've had ENOUGH OF YOU!" The rabbit/bear met with the cook's foot, and the two really hit it off. The animal was sent flying into the snow.

"What the heck's his problem?" Lucy wondered as Sanji caught up to us again.

I nursed a stitch in my side. "Sheesh. Freakin' rabbit thing was getting on my nerves. Nice kick, Sanji."

The ero-cook swooned.

We continued on like that for about fifteen minutes, the temperature steadily declining and the run becoming increasingly harder and harder. I wondered how I would be able to climb a freakin' mile-high mountain if simply _running_ was taking this much energy out of me. But my body must've finally been adjusting to the cold, because I was only panting a little hard.

"Nami-san, hang in there! We're gonna get you to that doctor!" Sanji vowed out of the blue.

The wind was even stronger here than it had been a while back, and the snow was falling harder, too.

"The snow's pretty deep around here," Lucy noted.

I nodded, drawing another deep breath. "And I still can't believe you're running around in _sandals_..."

"Please run more gently, Lucy-chan," the cook begged, noticing the pounding of our captain's feet. "You might jostle Nami-san's body!"

She looked like she was gonna say something, but stopped abruptly. I pulled up short, thankful for the pause in our ceaseless midwinter trek. "What's wrong, Lucy-chan?" I said. She was staring forward. I looked over the next snow ridge and my eye twitched.

Blocking our path was a whole horde of rabbit things like the one that Sanji had booted away.

Wait... giant rabbits?

Now that I didn't have to concentrate on running, I remembered what Dalton had said just before we left:_ The path from here is inhabited by Lapahn. They are a ravenous species of rabbit. If you were to encounter a pack of them, you would surely die._

"What the hell _are_ these things?" Sanji groaned.

Lucy hummed. "They're big and they're white... must be polar bears! Definitely!"

"No way! They're clearly those Lapahn that Dalton was talking about!" I retorted.

I clenched my shivering hands into fists.

It looked like we were gonna have to fight off a whole heard of them.

One of the Lapahn jumped. Sanji gasped and my eyes widened. How the hell did that thing achieve lift off? It had to be at least 300 pounds... all three hundred of which were now smashing right down at us. We dived to the side, Lucy making sure she didn't dodge too roughly and hurt Nami. The enormous rabbit's fists punched into the snow, breaking a deep crater.

"That's crazy!" Sanji hissed. "How can it move like that?"

I gritted my teeth. "Don't ask me. Usually when you have bigger size, you have less speed, but it looks like this species of rabbit doesn't listen to Mother Nature."

"It's a polar bear!" Lucy insisted.

Sanji narrowed his eyes and eyed the pack. "So _these_ are Lapahn... but why are there so many?!"

The Lapahn stepped forward.

We three Straw Hats tensed.

Normally, this would be an easy battle. But fighting off a horde of bear-sized rabbits with a sick person, a large backpack full of food, in the snow (which made it hard to maneuver)... the odds were stacked against us. The rabbits had numbers and experience fighting in these conditions. What did we have? One pervert who liked to kick, and one demigod who was freezing cold. Lucy was unable to fight due to Nami being on her back.

"Dammit!" I exclaimed. "R... Run for it!"

* * *

**Now we're really getting places! I'm sorry for such a late post. I would have had this done a LOT sooner, but play practice doesn't end until 5:30. Anyway, next chapter, Diamond and co. try to climb up a mountain with a pack of evil rabbits on their heels! Can they make it? What's Diamond's new technique? Will they fail? Will she be coming 'round the mountain when she comes? Who really cares, anyway? Find out next time on _One Piece: Full Blast!_ :) XD**

Diamond: Baka captain... making me think things like that.

Lucy: What are talking about?

Sanji: Damn rabbits!

Lucy: I'm telling you, they're polar bears!

Chopper: EH? What am I doing here!? I'm not in the story yet!

Diamond: *sweatdrops* Don't ask me, you came to this omake theater yourself.

Nami: What's the point of these omake theaters, anyway? They're just stupid.

Zoro: That kind of IS the point...

**Well, hope you liked this chapter! If you are new to this series, please follow and/or favorite if you have enjoyed the story so far! I really appreciate it! I'd also like to know what you think about the series, so leave a review while you're at it! Popularity is appreciated, but is not necessary in any way, shape, or form.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	23. No 23: Rabbits are Evil!

**Well, I have officially surpassed 100k words, people, as well as the amount of chapters in the first novel of ****_One Piece: Full Blast_****! That's pretty much an achievement on its own. I've never gotten this far with a story before so... HELL YES! In fact, I've never even completed a book before this fanfiction. On a totally unrelated note, I've finally gotten around to watching more of Bleach. Anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** Oh, the fight'll be really cool! You can bet on that! Diamond will have a pretty hard time fighting against the new enemy due to his power!

**Kakusei: **xD Yeah, it would, wouldn't it? Though it certainly wouldn't make Diamond very happy, now, would it? lol

**Chapter 23 start!**

* * *

Rabbits are Evil!

Snow Battles, Beef Jerky, and an Avalanche!  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_The Lapahn stepped forward._

_We three Straw Hats tensed._

_Normally, this would be an easy battle. But fighting off a horde of bear-sized rabbits with a sick person, a large backpack full of food, in the snow (which made it hard to maneuver)... the odds were stacked against us. The rabbits had numbers and experience fighting in these conditions. What did we have? One pervert who liked to kick, and one demigod who was freezing cold. Lucy was unable to fight due to Nami being on her back._

_"Dammit!" I exclaimed. "R... Run for it!"_

"But we can - -" Sanji protested.

Nami's voice cut through our argument. "Hurry... Soon... to Alabasta..." Broken fragments of her thoughts were breaching the confines of her sickness.

Lucy smiled softly. "It's okay. Just go black to sleep. Don't worry about anything else right now!"

"Even though her own life is in danger..." Sanji muttered, grinning fondly.

I nodded. "Right, we need to get Nami to a doctor as soon as possible, evil rabbits be damned. Oi, Nami! Hang in there a little longer, got it!" I glared at the rabbits and raised a water-covered gloved fist, all the fear suddenly blown away from me like it had been picked up by the bitter wind. "No way in the damn world will I let a nakama die!"

"Ah~!" the cook swooned. "Diamond-chan is so beautiful~!"

I tic-pulsed. "Can it and help me beat these guys' asses!"

"Right," he agreed. "Move, ya shitty rabbits!"

They tensed.

"They're coming!" Lucy realized.

I nodded and wrapped water around my other fist. "Let 'em freakin' come!"

"Listen, Lucy!" Sanji spoke up, not sounding head-over-heels for once. She regarded him curiously. "Whatever happens, you can't attack them."

She gaped at him. "Eh? Why not?"

"Think of what would happen to Nami," I intimated. "Every move you make in a fight - - every punch, every kick, every jump, _everything_ - - all that shock would transfer to Nami, and as weak as she physically is at the moment, it would be too much for her body to handle."

"Right," Sanji confirmed. "So whatever you do, don't fight."

The rabbits rushed forward as one. Lucy grunted and straightened her grip on our navigator. Some fear started building in the pit of my stomach again, but I pushed it back down and ran forward myself. She dodged a swipe from the nearest Lapahn and as it landed, skidding to stop and making two long marks in the snow, I aimed a solid punch at its midsection.

"What am I supposed to do, then?" she complained.

"Dodge! Dodge, dodge, dodge and run! But never retreat!"

"But that's too hard!"

The three of us weaved in and out of the Lapahns' flurry of attacks. They really were incredibly fast, and Lucy, Sanji and I were slower than usual, the snow making it hard to get a good fighting stance. I growled and somersaulted over a Lapahn, using the momentum to fly-kick a second in the face. It leaned backward, but when I landed, the same one swiped at me.

"Dammit," I cursed as I ducked the rabbit's claws and rolled under another's, coating myself in a thin layer of snow in the process. "It only fazed him!"

One Lapahn looked like it was gonna belly flop Sanji into the snow, but he glared at it and jumped into the air, planting a firm kick in its midsection. "Flanc Shoot!" he roared. The oversized rabbit was sent flying.

"Guess I'll have to use what I learned in Little Garden," I muttered. I heated up the water around my gloves with my willpower. "Tropical Tempest Fist!" I bellowed, slamming my heated fist into the belly of a rabbit. It was knocked back into its friends, who then glared at me, three or four charging at once.

The warm water around my fist was countering the cold of the island. I narrowed my eyes at the damn rabbits and I evaded a barrage of claws, probably looking like I was doing some kind of weird dance. My feet skidded across the snow and I almost lost my balance, but luckily the extra weight in my chest steadied me and I was able to fight again, rolling between a Lapahn's legs and leaping into the air, using one of the beast's arm as a spring board and soaring into the air.

"Whoa, that's a high jump!" Lucy approved as she continued to dodge and run up the mountain.

I summoned a large sphere of water directly above me and splashed to a stop into it. I built up pressure above my shoulders, heating the water at the same time. I was using the move I had attempted to pull on Prim before she'd frozen the sphere. But then, of course, I hadn't added the heat.

"Tropical Tempest..." I called, then released the water pressure, catapulting me directly into the head of a Lapahn. "Fish Hook!"

I kicked off the creature's face and spun through the air again, landing lightly on the snow and sinking almost below boot-level. Now we were all on the other side of the horde.

"Shit!" Sanji was cursing. "With all this snow under my feet, I can't get off any decent kicks!"

The rabbits turned, their left ears all jerked down.

"THEY'RE COMING ALL AT ONCE!" Lucy gasped.

The Lapahn that Sanji had kicked earlier suddenly came up behind us and we only barely dodged its attacks in time. We grunted and tensed.

"Head into the woods!" Sanji ordered. "I'll cover you!"

As we ran into the safety of the dense evergreen trees that sprouted up everywhere but the mountain path, the cook gave the bastard rabbit another kick, then dived under a few more flying Lapahn-torpedoes and followed us.

"Now left! Head over the mountains!"

"Got it!"

"Roger that!"

"We've gotta shake 'em off somehow!" He lit another cigarette and gritted his teeth. "If we have to fight every single one of 'em, this'll take 'til nightfall! Just what you'd expect from Snow Mountain animals. This is hopeless!"

I glanced into the lines of trees around us. "Crap, they're back!"

One tried to leap at us and I ducked under it. Lucy's anger flared up and she started to attack the Lapahn, but Sanji vaulted over her and gave the beast a firm punt, yelling, "Don't fight them!"

"Baka!" I scolded her. "Didn't we tell you not to attack them!?"

Lucy, who had paused to look at the fallen animal, winced and continued running.

"Just leave them all to us," Blondie sighed.

"Gomen..."

"We're not joking around here, Luce! Nami could seriously die if you don't keep your cool."

She looked at me worriedly. "But he was... but he was attacking you. I just got really angry all of a sudden and wanted to beat his ass."

I blinked. Lucy's cheeks were the slightest tinge of red. Was she... blushing? No way. It was probably the cold. Yeah, definitely. I mean, there was no way Lucy was being protective, was there? She was usually really good at staying out of people's fights. Did she... nah, it was impossible.

Right?

I was jolted out of my musings by Sanji aiming a spinning roundhouse kick that flashed past my face. I jumped in surprise and halted, then glanced over my shoulder to see that the cook had just saved me from a Lapahn's sneak attack, glowering darkly at the beast.

"A-Arigatou..." I gulped, shivering at just how close I had been to either death or a bad injury. "I owe ya one."

He nodded curtly. "Don't mention it, Diamond-chan."

Lucy had continued ahead and was shouting to make herself heard over the roar of the frigid wind. "Oi! We've got a path up here!"

"Yosh!" Sanji called back. "Go on ahead!"

We ran in her direction to see that the 'path' she had found was actually on top of a rather large, rocky cliff. I was just starting to wonder how we were supposed to get up there while fighting off a pack of rabid rabbits when one of said rabbits took an enormous leap our of the forest, soaring directly in front of us. Lucy readjusted her grip on Nami, jumped onto the Lapahn, and then to the path like it was a midair stepping stone. Sanji and I took a moment to glance at each other, then nodded and followed suit. The monstrous rabbit was pushed to the base of the cliff.

Grunting upon impact with the path, the two of us scrambled to our feet, shivering, and joined Lucy, who was grinning stupidly at the pack of Lapahns and sticking her tongue out.

I hit her over the head as the animals jumped up at us. "Baka! What the hell did you do that for!?"

And so the chase continued.

And continued.

"JUST KEEP RUNNING TO THE TOP!" Sanji screamed.

"I'M FREAKIN' SICK OF RUNNING!" I shouted back, crying anime tears.

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK! Again...**

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, it was beginning to look like we'd finally shaken them off. There hadn't been a Lapahn attack for a while now, and we had paused to eat the now much colder beef jerky that Dalton had packed for us. I warmed it up by suspending it in spheres of hot water.

"Are they still coming?" Lucy asked, finishing off her last piece of jerky.

Sanji was keeping watch, having already eaten his. "No. Haven't seen any for a while."

I grinned and tore a chunk of jerky off my last slice. "Great!"

"Yosha!" our captain cheered. "Looks like we lost 'em! Let's go!"

Sanji turned, looked past us two (unfortunately) girls, and froze. "Ah... no. We didn't."

"Eh?"

I turned and squinted up the path. Standing in our way was the same pack of Lapahns. They must've somehow assimilated themselves again and beaten us to the punch.

"Dammit!" I gasped. "Those annoying asses never give up!"

"Suge!" Lucy remarked, gaping at the horde.

The rabbits jumped and we tensed, ready to attack if need be, but instead of flying at us like big, white torpedoes with beady red eyes, the Lapahns just landed and jumped again. They kept on repeating the action, only leaping straight up and down.

The straw hatted girl tilted her head in mystification. "What are they doing?"

The sounds of their jumping echoed around the mountain side.

"Are they pissed because they're hungry?" she guessed.

I shook my head. "Nah... that can't be it." I panted a little and tried to focus on the One Piece anime. I remembered them doing something like this, but what had happened next? My body was tingling with cold and adrenaline, and I was exhausted from forty-five minutes of hard, almost non-stop running and fighting. As such, my memory of the anime was a bit fuzzy.

Sanji frowned. "Hang on a second..." Suddenly his eyes widened and his cigarette dropped to the snow in shock. "Oh, shit! They're going to...!"

I tapped my head, trying to shake the memories to the surface. "They're going to what? I don't really remember..."

Meanwhile, the Lapahns were continuing to jump, the relentless pounding of their feet against the tightly packed snow reverberating everywhere. And as we watched in confusion, though Sanji was horrified, the mountainside started shaking. At first it was just little, almost unnoticeable vibrations, then it increased to such an effect that I scored myself a mouthful of snow.

"They're really going to do it.." Sanji gasped. "Those shitty rabbits! This ain't for real...!"

I got to my feet, sputtering. "N-N-Nani?" I warmed some water in my hands, then sipped some. "What are they gonna do?"

"Yeah, Sanji!" Lucy whined. "What are they gonna do? I wanna know! What's happening? An earthquake?"

I looked back at the rabbits and my eyes widened in sudden realization. "Uh... n-no. It's much worse than an earthquake."

"Worse?"

"Oi," the cook gulped. "Run for it, Lucy-chan."

"Run? Where to?"

"Anywhere! As far away as you can!"

I nodded, pointing a shaking finger forward. "H-Hai. Just get the hell away from here. Because they... they..." I trailed off. Lucy looked where I was pointing and her jaw dropped. Now we were all able to see the source of the mountain's shaking.

A white wall of snow was tumbling down the mountainside, sweeping directly at us with all the destructive force of a Buster Call. It loomed over us, increasing speed with each second. I estimated that in about two or three minutes, it would break over us like the Winter Island version of a tsunami.

Sanji stiffened and managed to spat out, "THEY'RE CAUSING AN AVALANCHE!"

* * *

**Dun dun DUUUN! :D Another cliffhanger! Because that's where the episode cut off. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but like I've said before, I always try to end each chapter at the same time the corresponding anime episode ends. And yay! More Damon/Diamond x Lucy fluff on the mountain of snow! XD**

Diamond: Oh, shit! First a freakin' rabbit battalion and now THIS!?

Lucy: That beef jerky was pretty good stuff.

Diamond: ARE YOU EVER EVEN THE LEAST BIT SERIOUS!?

Sanji: I'm gonna kick those shitty bastards to the moon for this!

**Hope you liked this chapter! If I have any new readers out there, I'd appreciate some feedback, so please either, follow, favorite, or put a review on this story! Following allows you to be updated whenever I post a new chapter of this fanfiction, favoriting encourages me to keep writing better and better, and reviewing allows me to know your thoughts. So please do so! All of them only take the click of a button, though reviewing requires a little typing. Oh, and please note that popularity is appreciated, but is by no means necessary to keep writing.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	24. No 24: The Corrupt King's Return!

**Did you know that I still write ****_One Piece: Full Blast_**** even when I'm in school? Heh, heh, heh! I'm working on a major original story arc that takes place after Water 7/Enies Lobby. I'm on the seventeenth page and in the middle of a battle. :D I'm calling it simply "One Piece: Full Blast THE MOVIE." Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98:** You can expect some serious cursing... and I don't mean the magical kind. XD

**Otaku-san32: **Oh, there's gonna be some good times, you can count on that. Dr. Kureha and Diamond-chan... the world just might be screwed. lol

**ThiefofStealth: **Ah, it's okay, don't worry about it. :) I don't expect everyone to review all the time. Calling Diamond-chan cute/adorable is understandable. Calling Damon that? ...Yeah, that's a little weird. XD Ah, arigatou. I've never really done any romance stories before, so I was worried I didn't do it right. *wipes forehead*

**Chapter 24 begin!**

* * *

Onward and Upward!

The Corrupt King's Return  


* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I nodded, pointing a shaking finger forward. "H-Hai. Just get the hell away from here. Because they... they..." I trailed off. Lucy looked where I was pointing and her jaw dropped. Now we were all able to see the source of the mountain's shaking._

_A white wall of snow was tumbling down the mountainside, sweeping directly at us with all the destructive force of a Buster Call. It loomed over us, increasing speed with each second. I estimated that in about two or three minutes, it would break over us like the Winter Island version of a tsunami._

_Sanji stiffened and managed to spat out, "THEY'RE CAUSING AN AVALANCHE!"_

"Eh!?" Lucy gasped.

I took a step back. "Dammit! Too late! It's coming!"

We all screamed and took off as the evil bunnies bounced off into the woods. We ran as fast as our legs could carry us, even though we were half exhausted, half frozen, and trudging through snow. I was crying anime tears, wondering what the hell I'd done to deserve this.

"Those shitty rabbits!" Sanji shouted.

"If I die in this, I'm gonna kill them!" I yelled.

"How?" Lucy pointed out, running even faster than me. "You'd already be dead!"

The ero-cook was on my side, however. "Those dumbasses are gonna get it now, DAMMIT!"

Our captain kept a tight grip on her passenger. "W-W-What are we gonna do, Sanji? Diamond-chan?"

I looked over my shoulder. The snow was approaching, looming over us. I made a very unmanly squeak and somehow managed to run even faster down the mountainside.

"How should I know?!" Blondie retorted.

"Just keep running!" I shrieked.

"Right! Remember, First: Nami-san! Second: Nami-san! Third: Nami-san! Fourth: Nami-san! Fifth: Nami-san! GOT IT!? Protect her with your life!"

Lucy nodded quickly and increased her pace, too. "Got it! But _how!?_"

Sanji and I gasped for breath and scanned the mountain. Let's see... there were trees, trees, trees, a rock outcropping, trees, trees, trees, a steep hill going upwards, trees - - wait, a hill?

"There, that cliff!" the cook decided, pointing sharply at the same hill I was looking at.

I nodded. "Hai! We need to get to higher ground! That cliff's our best shot!"

"Cliff!?" Lucy repeated in a panic. Sanji and I broke off our path and started running to said cliff. After a moment of confusion, she yelped and followed.

I glanced at the avalanche again and paled. It was nearly upon us!

"Here it comes!" I yelled.

The ever-accelerating wall of snow bore down on us as we took a desperate leap onto the cliff. We sank knee-deep in the snow, but the avalanche parted around our escarpment and continued down the mountainside, ripping trees out of the snow-covered ground and basically causing mass destruction.

Sanji sighed in relief and relaxed. "Yosh! We made it in ti - -"

"Spoke too soon!" I interjected. Because I was watching the snowslide, I saw what the others didn't: Although it was parting around us, the snow on either side of the precipice was quickly building up, and in a second it would be level with the edge of the cliff, making it useless. When the snow was level with the cliff, we would get caught in the avalanche anyway.

Lucy yelled in shock. "But we made it to higher ground!"

"It's not high enough!" Sanji concluded, horrified.

"It's here!" I cried.

The snow swept us off our feet, tossing us unceremoniously down the mountainside. Somehow we managed not to get pulled under, though I did get another mouthful of cold snow, making my body shiver violently. The snow pressed me on all sides, and I could feel myself shutting down like a computer that was low on batteries. The cold pervaded my whole body, freezing through my very bones.

I heard a faint shout. "Oi! Diamond-chan!" Through the haze of tumbling snow, I made out a gloved hand shooting through the air, reaching out for me. I fought against the cold, desperately moving my arm. I wouldn't let this stupid avalanche beat me! There was no way I would lose to a bunch of stupid jumping rabbits!

The gloved hand met my own and I felt myself lifting up out of the snow. I shot through the air and landed on something hard. My vision, which had been fading to black, cleared enough for me to make out that I was now sitting behind Lucy and Sanji on... the trunk of a tree?

"A-Arigatou, Lucy-chan," I coughed, snow spurting out of my mouth. I was still shivering violently. "F-For the s-save."

"I held hands with the beautiful Lucy-chan~!" Sanji swooned. "Arigatou~!"

Lucy sounded slightly annoyed. "Yeah, well... we're not gonna be buried in snow... but now we're going straight back down the mountain!"

The ero-cook was jolted out of his reverie. "NANI!? You're kidding! We were just about to make it to the foot of that chimney mountain! One more step and we would've been to the doctor!"

I panted, still freezing cold from being chest-deep in the snow. "D-Doesn't matter," I shot back. "W-We would've d-died if Lucy-chan h-hadn't been there."

"Lucy-chan! Think of some way to stop this thing!"

"We're gonna get buried in snow AGAIN if we stop!" I belted.

"Shit! That shitty jumping corps! Next time we see them, they're going straight in a pot!"

Of course, no sooner had he said that than a Lapahn appeared right next to us, _snowboarding on a tree trunk!_ My jaw dropped at the sight. Only in the world of One Piece could something like this be possible. The Lapahn pulled ahead of our tree as I heard a growl from behind. I looked the other way to see _another_ snowboarding... er... treeboarding rabbit.

"Nani!?" Lucy shouted, goggling at the sight.

The Lapahn to our right bared its maw and roared, jumping straight at us, tree and all. Lucy shouted in disbelief and ducked as low as she possibly could. Luckily, it was low enough, and the Lapahn soared over her, though it made a perfect landing and continued treeboarding.

I glanced around. Three more rabbits appeared, doing the same thing, making there be five total. Two of them ganged up on us and swept with their claws as they lunged. I squeaked and quickly lay flat on our tree.

Lucy gulped. "What should we do, Diamond-chan!? Sanji!?"

Sanji grunted. "There's only one thing TO do! RUN AWAY!"

"N-NOT AG-GAIN!" I groaned, sitting back up.

The rabbits must've done this kind of thing before, because they maneuvered with the grace of an experienced treeboarder. Not that there were any experienced treeboarders in the first place, but you know what I mean. Lucy, Sanji, and I were forced to move our tree out of the way by leaning to the sides, because we were straddling it awkwardly.

"What ARE these things!?" Sanji complained as he ducked a blow from a Lapahn.

I cried anime tears. "R-Rabbits are d-definitely evil!"

Lucy was forced to jump over one of the Lapahn's claws, and as a result she smashed into Sanji, who grunted and sat her back down. Somehow Nami managed to stay on Lucy's back throughout the whole escapade. That was an achievement all in its own.

Our cook ducked a bite from one of the beasts, looked forward, and cried out in alarm. "L-Lucy-chan! Diamond-chan! Look ahead!"

A rock outcropping with three tree trunks on it was blocking our path, somehow not sunk in snow.

"AHHH!" Lucy shrieked. "A ROCK!"

"WE'RE G-GONNA CRASH!" I squeaked.

"We can't afford that!" he intimated. "Nami-san's on your back! If we crash, she dies!"

Two more Lapahns leaped through the air at us, sacrificing there tree trunks for a chance to maul us to pieces. I glared at them, having had enough of their stupid attempts to kill us. I stood up on the tree trunk, balancing as best I could with knocking knees. I raised my pink-gloved fists as they fell down on our group, then smashed their faces in at the same time, yelling, "THAT'S FREAKIN' IT! TWIN HAWK BLAST!" They were tossed back onto their respective 'treeboards,' continuing down the mountainside unconscious.

"Hey, you didn't stammer," Lucy noted.

"That doesn't matter!" Sanji croaked. "What matters is not crashing!"

That drew her attention back to the rock. "You can say that, but - - AH! WE'RE GONNA HIT!"

There was a slight pause, then suddenly Lucy and Nami were flying through the air, Lucy looking very surprised, though Nami was as conked out as ever. I blinked, but before I could react, I felt two hands grasp the midsection of my coat, and I was flung off the air, too. As I was thrown back, I looked to see Sanji continuing to the the rock, balancing on our tree trunk and smirking.

"You always treat ladies with care," he said.

"S-SANJI!" Lucy gasped.

"You... YOU B-BAKA!" I stammered.

Shouting in pain, he barreled into the outcrop and was sent catapulting into the snow. Lucy's eyes widened as he started to submerge. She stretched her hand out, wrapped her arm around me, then latched onto one of the tree stumps on the outcropping with the same hand. We retracted down to the rock safely. Lucy climbed up onto the rock, dragging me and Nami along with her. She turned and looked down the mountainside and we saw that Sanji had sunk almost below his head into the snow. Lucy let go of me and I was able to breathe again. I collapsed, sitting on the snow.

"SANJI!" she roared again.

"I'm going under, dammit!" we heard him groan.

I stared in horror, unable to do anything, feeling totally helpless. "Don't say those kinds of things, dumbass!"

She stretched out her rubbery hand to him, yelling, "JERK! Don't you _dare_ be so selfish!" Her hand grasped his and he stopped sinking momentarily. She retracted back, but when her hand snapped to attention, we saw that it only had his blue glove.

The rest of him had been left behind.

Our eyes popped out of our heads. "AH! SANJI!"

Our shout echoed around the mountainside, but it did nothing to help. We watched in horror as the cook of the Straw Hat Pirates sank into the snow, disappearing into its freezing depths.

* * *

Eventually, the avalanche finally stopped. I was exhausted, my muscles protesting every move I made, though I didn't move much at all. I had wrapped some water around myself and heated it up, and it canceled out the freezing cold that had invaded me. I finally stopped shivering, feeling less like a human Popsicle and more like an actual human being.

Lucy set Nami on the snow carefully. "Nami, are you cold?" she said, her brow crinkled in worry. She took off her winter coat and draped it over the navigator like a blanket. She shrugged off her gloves and placed them under Nami's head like a makeshift pillow. Then she took off her precious straw hat and placed it on our sick friend's chest. "Listen, hold this and wait for me here."

I blinked, covered in warm water. "Matte!" My voice sounded distorted. "What are you doing? Why did you take off all your winter gear?"

She smiled at me and my breath caught in my throat. She was... wow, she was beautiful. The snowy landscape made her more vivid - - her long, black hair flowing majestically behind her, her soft onyx eyes confident, her skin tanned perfectly from weeks and months spent under the warm sun. "I've gotta save Sanji," she explained. "Watch over Nami, okay? Make sure those stupid rabbit things don't hurt her if they come back. I'm counting on you."

"Um... uh, hai." I murmured. "Yosh! Heh. No problem."

She grinned and jumped off the cliff, running down the mountainside to where we'd last seen Sanji. I was left wondering why I had gotten so flustered all of a sudden. I mean, we had just barely survived a freakin' avalanche, one of our friends was submerged in snow, another was immobilized due to a sickness caused by a bug bite, I had nearly frozen to death (though to be fair I would've survived anyway - - I had that extra life, after all), and here I was stunned to near-silence by my female captain's beauty.

The multiverse was screwed.

* * *

**3rd Person POV**

On the mountain path, a baby Lapahn was digging into the snow desperately. A large foot with claws that were almost talons stuck out of the snow. The Lapahn attached to it was what the baby rabbit was trying to save. It threw dusty snow backwards, but after a few minutes of almost zero progress, it bit its paws in worry, the creature's keen teeth tearing its skin and making it bleed.

The baby Lapahn tried not to cry in pain. It looked at the visible foot of its submerged parent and screamed, wishing there would be a way to save its dad. It started digging through the snow again, but a moment later, heard the sound of snow being crunched underfoot. The baby blinked and looked in the direction of the sound's source.

Walking through the snow were two of the hated human race, each carrying one of its kin on their backs. They were both girls: One wore a red vest, a straw hat, jean shorts, and sandals. She had long, flowing black hair, onyx eyes, a thin scar under one eye, and looked very worried. With so little clothing in this kind of weather, the Lapahn wondered if she was insane. On the crazy one's back was a girl with red hair, a checkered yellow-and-white winter coat, a maroon coat over that, and an unhealthy-looking red tinge on her cheeks.

The other pair looked more normal. The second moving girl had chocolate brown hair almost as long as the straw hatted one's, and her eyes matched her hair. Everything she wore was pink; Her winter coat, her gloves, her snow boots, her insulated pants, her earmuffs. Well, everything except the eye patch. That was black. Both her and Straw Hat had a rather large bust. Despite the intensely bitter air, neither girls seemed very cold.

On this second girl's back was an unconscious-looking, blonde-haired teen with a swirly eyebrow. He had on a deep blue coat, a lighter blue scarf, cerulean gloves, and black dress shoes. Why the boy wore dress shoes on a winter island was beyond the baby Lapahn. Humans were very weird animals indeed.

After the Lapahn had gotten over the surprise of seeing the humans, it growled and snarled at them angrily. They were known to hunt and kill the Lapahn race, then eat the dead rabbits for dinner or lunch. Even though its claws hurt like hell, the young rabbit would be damned if it would let its incapacitated dad be eaten by _humans_.

The straw hatted girl, whose cheeks were bright pink, continued forward, her companion trailing behind her. She didn't even pay attention to the Lapahn, though the brown-haired girl glowered at it. The baby growled again and backed up to the foot of its dad, sticking its arms out protectively.

They stopped just before the Lapahn and its father, Straw Hat looking at it blankly and Pink Clothes still scowling.

The baby's growls turned from anger to fear, sounding more like moans and sniffles than actual growls.

Pink Clothes' glare softened a little. "Oi, Lucy-chan," she said, her voice a bit deeper than an average female's. "What should we do? These are the guys who caused that stupid avalanche, ya know."

The straw hat girl - - what had Pink Clothes called her? Lucy? - - gave her friend a sharp look. "It needs our help."

Pink Clothes smirked and shook her head. "How did I know you were gonna say that?"

When Lucy reached a hand out, the Lapahn squealed in fright and put its hands over its head in an effort to keep it safe. It hadn't understood the humans' conversation, so it thought they were going to try and catch it or kill it. However, when the only thing that hit the young rabbit was a chunk of snow, it blinked and looked up. Lucy had pulled its dad out of the snow. The daddy rabbit opened its eyes. It had been saved... by humans.

Smiling, Lucy and Pink Clothes walked off, leaving the Lapahn and its father to watch them go in confusion. Who were these humans? Even though Pink Clothes had definitely been angry with the Lapahns, she still hadn't stopped Lucy from saving the baby's dad.

Whatever the reason, the child hugged its father, squealing happily. While they had their cheerful reunion, they didn't hear the two speak again.

"Don't you dare die, either of you. I'll get to that castle," Monkey D. Lucy avowed.

Digger D. Diamond, who used to be known as Digger D. Damon, nodded. "Hear that, Sanji? Nami? We're definitely gonna get there."

A furious shout from behind them made the two pirates turn.

"MATTE, BITCHES!" yelled an angry - - and slightly familiar - - voice. "YOU'VE BROUGHT SO MANY HUMILIATIONS UPON ME! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PAY!"

One of the other men riding the White Walkie, a guy covered almost completely in armor, nodded, the metal of his armor clanking as he did so. "Yeah! We're gonna beat you to pieces-kuranku!"

Lucy and Diamond stopped and turned. Charging towards them were four men riding a large, hippo-like creature known as a White Walkie.

Wapol and his three most powerful underlings had returned.

* * *

**Alright! I hope I didn't confuse you guys with the sudden switch to 3rd Person POV there. More Damon/Diamond x Lucy fluff there, and this time it was some pretty fluffy fluff too! Although Diamond is still too naive to understand she's falling in love with Lucy. lol. Oh, and by the way, the thing that I tagged on to the armor dude's sentence, _kuranku_, is Japanese for 'clank.' It's a pun on the sound his armor makes.**

Diamond: Oh, look. It's an idiot. ...And why do I have to carry Sanji again?

Lucy: Because I'm carrying Nami. Are you stupid?

Diamond: I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM YOU.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! For those of you new to _One Piece: Full Blast_, I'd appreciate it if you would follow and/or favorite this novel of the story. I don't find it necessary for more chapters, however. I'd also like to know what my fans think of this story, so REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! :D Please note that I do not own One Piece. The only things I do own are all the original characters so far except the armor dude, who was an OC given to me by **OPFan37**.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	25. No 25: Ascending the Drum Rockies!

**Hola, amigos! TheRealEvanSG here with another quick update! For those of you who don't already know, and I know some do, I have posted another fanfiction separate from this series, ****_Gender Confusion Confusion_****, which is about Luffy and Zoro turning into girls and another dangerous threat descending onto the crew! Check it out when you have time, ne? Okay, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**DarkLord98: **Just that... he can control and create armor, as well as anything that can be considered armor!

**SugoiAuthorToBe: **I know, right? It's a toss-up which One Piece character is the uncoolest of them all, Ivankov or Wapol. I'd say Wapol, because he's an enemy, but Ivankov is a close second. That stupid okama scarred me for life the first time I saw him. XD

**Chapter 25 start!**

* * *

Ascend the Drum Rockies!

Rabbits Aren't So Evil After All

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_"MATTE, BITCHES!" yelled an angry - - and slightly familiar - - voice. "YOU'VE BROUGHT SO MANY HUMILIATIONS UPON ME! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PAY!"_

_One of the other men riding the White Walkie, a guy covered almost completely in armor, nodded, the metal of his armor clanking as he did so. "Yeah! We're gonna beat you to pieces-kuranku!"_

_Lucy and Diamond stopped and turned. Charging towards them were four men riding a large, hippo-like creature known as a White Walkie._

_Wapol and his three most powerful underlings had returned._

**-BACK TO FIRST PERSON P.O.V.-**

We regarded the idiots riding the weird-ass hippo thing curiously. It was a bit impressive that Wapol had survived Lucy's Gum-Gum Bazooka move, considering he was a complete moron, but the guy in armor really confused me. I remembered this arc pretty well, and I don't think there was anything about a man dressed entirely in gray, shining armor. My eye still twitched like mad at the sight of the clown-jester dude.

The hippo riders rushed in front of us and turned so sharply they were nearly thrown off their ride.

Lucy blinked, body an unhealthy pink color. "Eh? Nani? Who are you guys?"

The purple-haired king glared at my captain as I shifted Sanji into a more comfortable position on my back. "How dare you bring such humiliations upon me!" he growled. "I'm gonna chew you two up!"

"It's Wapol, Lucy-chan," I informed her, and her eyes widened a little in recognition.

She glared at him this time. "Move."

"Well ain't you kabas?" the man huffed. I tilted my head and wondered why he had just called us hippos. "Why the hell should I move!?" (He was effectively blocking our path.) "The girl on your back and the the guy on that pink-clothed girl's back look like they're dead."

"You should just give up on them!" Armor Dude crowed.

Deciding it just wasn't worth it to fight them now, though I was curious about the newcomer to Wapol's crew, we simply ignored him, turned, and began to walk around the giant hippo. We made it around the animal and about a hundred feet down the path before Wapol shouted something again.

"Chess!" he called. "I've just thought of a new law! Write this down!"

"Hai!" said the voice of the clown-jester.

"Anyone who ignores the King is to be executed... at that very instant! You two! I'll start with the ones ignoring me the most! Kill the sick and injured ones first!"

Lucy and I froze and turned to them with a sharp glare, shouting "NANI!?" in infuriated rage. The clown-jester (Chess?), the afro-dude, and the armor-covered man had leaped off of the four-man hippo and were now flying at us.

Our three enemies landed lightly on the snow and charged forward, legs pumping like pistons, achieving a speed much faster than we could.

"Leave the girl on her back to me!" Chess said.

Afro-Dude nodded. "Then I'll take the unconscious guy on the other one's back!"

"I call the brown-haired girl when you two're done with those guys-kuranku!" Armor Dude called.

Chess and Afro-Dude kicked off the snow, jumping high into the air. The man with the afro raised his fists, which were stuck inside what looked like black boxing gloves, and shouted, "Eat this! Surprising Marimo!"

Spikes popped out of the gloves as he descended towards me, aiming for Sanji's head. I grunted in mild shock and dived away, sliding to a stop on the snow. I nearly lost my footing, but managed to right myself at the last second and began to charge the offender, but froze as I realized something: If Lucy couldn't fight because Nami would absorb all the pain, then I was in pretty much the exact same situation except with a certain love cook.

Lucy had begun to rush the man as well, but she must have suddenly remembered what we had told her earlier, because she, too, froze, though she clearly didn't like it. Her face was twisted into a near-snarl, but Lucy growled in anger and nodded at me, taking off up the path. I followed suit, and arrows shot into the ground in our wake, probably fired from Chess's bow.

"SHIT!" Lucy roared, blowing steam out of her nose. "I'LL REMEMBER THIS!"

"This ain't good!" I growled. "Oi, bakas! If you wanna live, don't you dare follow us! We've been plagued by those Lapahns since we set foot on this stupid mountain, and if you follow us, you'll get attacked by them, too!"

I wasn't worried about them, I was just giving them a hell of a good reason to leave us alone.

"You coward!" I heard Afro-Dude taunt.

There was the whistle of several more arrows soaring through the air at us and we dodged just in time. Meanwhile, the clown-jester was yelling, "It's futile!"

"Just give it up already," came the smooth voice of the guy in armor. "Armor-Armor... Frisbee-kuranku!"

I blinked and looked over my shoulder, past Sanji, to see a highly reflective shield with a keen edge spinning towards me. My eyes widened and I leaped into the air, a foot catching the top of the shield. I used this fact to kick off of it, tumbling down to the snow.

I scrambled to my feet and saw the shield coming_ back_.

"Dammit!" I gasped. "Not good! Tropical Tempest Body!"

Water was pulled out of the air and warmed so that it didn't cause me any excess cold. It wrapped itself around my entire body as I ran, and the shield smashed into me. I panted from the effort of maintaining this move, but my body only rocked back slightly, otherwise totally uninjured... well, okay, I figured that I might have a bruise on my stomach tomorrow, but that was it. The shield, however, cracked and shattered. I ripped through the falling metal shards and continued to sprint up the slope.

"That was really cool!" Lucy approved when I caught up to her. "What did you do?"

I released the water from around me and Sanji. "Tempest Body," I explained through short breaths, "is a special move I learned in the 'month-and-a-half' of training after the curse. I cover myself in water, harden it a little, and it protects me from most attacks. That bastard Fennu tried to use it to save himself from getting stabbed by me, but Aeso abandoned him and the water became normal."

"Oh," she said simply. "Why didn't you use it in Little Garden?"

"It takes a lot of energy out of me, almost as much Blue Getsuga Tensho used to. That's why I'll only use it in situations like this, when I have no other choice."

Mentioning Fennu brought the image of his blood-covered corpse to mind. I shuddered and forced it back.

My straw hatted captain glanced back and panted a little. "Nani?" she muttered.

"What's the matter?" I asked, glad to have a distraction from the memory of the fishman I'd killed last month.

She frowned. "No one's there... Why's that?"

"Maybe they gave up."

My neck tingled in a danger warning and I looked ahead, cursing the Lapahns for coming back for us - - but wait! There weren't any Lapahns! Just a wide mouth closing down on us and emerging from a pile of tumbling snow.

Wait, what?

I yelped in surprise, a short "KYA!" Lucy heard it and I swore her cheeks got pinker, but she looked ahead and saw what was troubling me. The giant maw snapped shut just as the two of us sprung away.

"What the hell!?" I shrieked. "The snow's trying to eat us!? WHAT'S UP WITH THIS STUPID MOUNTAIN!?"

"This is our Snow Country's specialty," a voice behind me said. "White concealment! Snow Makeup!"

We still hadn't landed, and we looked back to see Chess, Afro-Dude, and Armor Dude almost swimming through the snow, the Armor Dude with his spiked boxing gloves in full out pokey mode. Armor Dude was hovering on a flying shield and had grown spikes on his metal gloves. Chess was pointing two arrows at us.

The sniper clown sneered. "If you're that weak, death will come instantly!"

"This game is over-kuranku!" Armor Dude added.

"CHECKMATE!" all three bellowed.

There was no where to run. They had leaped out of the snow and were now flying at us in a direct collision course. If we attacked, we would just hurt Nami and/or Sanji. We couldn't dodge because we were still falling. In a second, the enemy would be upon us, and then it would all be over.

"NO FUCKIN' WAY!" I howled.

Lucy was furious. "STOP IT!"

Just as Chess, Afro-Dude, and Armor Dude smirked and began their attacks, three flashes of white sped past us. Suddenly, three huge Lapahns were there and had spied their clawed fists at the bastards. All three of the enemies were blown back with the blunt force of the attack, spinning around in a dizzying manner. Lucy and I were allowed to land on the snow safely, though our eyes were wide in shock.

"The polar bears?" Lucy gasped.

I blinked. "They're... helping us?"

Oh yeah, that's right. I remember this happening in the original series. I also realized that the mouth coming out of the snow must've been none other than that bastard king. I felt incredibly stupid for thinking it was the snow itself.

The Lapahns hovered in midair for a brief second, then fell to the ground, gravity taking over their rounded bodies.

"LAPAHNS!?" Wapol yelled, gaping. The two rabbits were standing in a classic karate stance, blocking the other pirates' advance. "But... but they never bond with humans!"

One of the rabbits turned to us and seemed to grin, its red eyes sparkling. Lucy's own eyes widened in recognition. "You..." she said.

I suddenly remembered the baby Lapahn we had encountered about... eh... fifteen minutes ago? I had been against helping it at first, but Lucy was so kindhearted she would even help somebody that had been trying to kill her moments before, and we had (reluctantly, in my case) unearthed the baby Lapahn's parent from the snow. Well, I assumed the one we saved was the baby's parent, due to the thing's miserable crying.

The one looking at us now looked exactly like the Lapahn we had saved. It even had the seem indent on its cheek. Its child was sitting on its back. The two of them raised their fists in thanks.

I grinned. "You guys aren't so bad after all!"

Lucy was ecstatic. "ARIGATOU! You're a big help!"

We once again made for the cylindrical mountain as Chess, Afro-Dude, and Armor Dude struggled to their feet, though Armor Dude seemed a lot less hurt than his comrades. Maybe this was due to his armor. I supposed even the stupidest-looking things had a use in this world. As we ran, we passed more and more of the Lapahns, all of which were nodding at us in thanks.

"Don't let them escape!" we heard Wapol command the degenerates.

"Hai, sir!"

There was the sound of the Lapahns growling in anger, and then before we knew it, the two of us were all alone on the mountain path, our only companions being ourselves and the unconscious people we were carrying.

* * *

**THIRTY MINUTES LATER  
**

"Doctor..." Lucy groaned, struggling through the knee-deep snow. Night was falling and the sky was darkening, or at least, that was what it looked like. With a small blizzard swirling around us, it was hard to tell. "Doctor..."

"Save... your breath..." I panted, shivering from the cold. My energy was depleting quickly now, and I wondered how I was gonna make it up the mountain. "We'll... need it... for the journey... ahead of... us..."

We pushed through the snow. Another potent gust of frigid wind ripped across the path, and before us, what seemed to be a wall of snow parted. Suddenly a steep rock face was visible right in front of us. I gasped and craned my neck back, looking up.

I couldn't even see the top of the cliff, though I could almost see the waves of wind tearing down the mountain and attempting to push us deeper into the snow.

"We're... here..." I managed.

"The mountain..." Lucy said. "I can't even see the top."

We panted some more, standing still.

"At the top... there is a doctor..."

I looked at her and nodded shortly. "Yeah. Just... three miles of mountain."

The straw hatted girl glanced at Nami. "Just... hang in a little... longer, okay? Nami, Sanji?"

I wrapped water around my body, as well as Sanji's, and warmed it, though I only hardened it around my hands and my feet to reduce the exhaustion. "Water... Armor..." I gasped. "Yosha... let's do this!"

Lucy tied the cloth holding Nami to her body tighter, then nodded.

Together, we placed our hands on the frozen mountain and began the long climb. Both of us had discarded our shoes so we could get a better grip on the mountain, though my feet were still protected from the weather and the sharpness of the rocks because of my modified Water Body. It was tough, but we pushed onward, simply because there was no other choice.

On Snow Mountain, I lost track of time. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes dragged on and became hours. Climbing that damned mountain was the toughest thing I had ever done in my life, and I had an extra source of warmth, as well as protection for my hands and feet. The water wrapped around both me and Sanji kept the unconscious pirate in place, but it also drastically weakened me. That wasn't the only cause of my trouble, however. Once, I reached for a crack in the mountain, thinking I'd make it my next handhold, but my fingers brushed uselessly against a smooth part of the cliff and suddenly I found myself hanging in the air, supported by nothing, trapped in a free fall all the way back down to the bottom. I screamed in terror, somehow managing to maintain the layer of warm water around me. The strong wind attempted to rip the cry away from me, but Lucy must've heard it, because the next thing I knew, I was simply hovering in midair, a rubbery hand wrapped around me.

I looked down, hanging above the path hundreds upon hundreds of feet below.

That was a huge mistake.

I couldn't even see the bottom anymore, and I got a terrible sense of vertigo. I almost threw up, but managed to force the bile back down at the last second, leaving a sour taste in my mouth and an unpleasant feeling in the back of my throat.

Lucy stretched me back up and allowed me to regain my grip and footing on the mountain, then we continued up, slightly more afraid than before.

My muscles were freakin' sore. Every single move felt like I was waging war against my nervous system. And still I ascended the mountain, growling in agony. But as bad as it was for me, it was a thousand times worse for Lucy. I had once glanced over at her and saw her sliding down the mountain, screaming in pain, somehow keeping her grip, but tearing up the ends of her fingers and feet in the process, lines of red blood trailing above her as she fell.

"Oh my gods!" I gasped. "Lu - - LUCY!"

"Save... your... breath..." I heard her retort as she finally halted to a stop, tears building in her eyes.

I felt myself crying. "You... baka! You're hurting yourself... too badly! You'll be killed!"

She shook her head stubbornly and started climbing again. "Don't worry about me... Just... keep climbing... Doctor..."

I didn't like it, but she was right. Up here, there was nothing to do _but_ climb. Well, except for falling. You could do that, too. But that didn't seem like a very good option to me,so I took my captain's advice and continued scaling the cliff, panting in exhaustion. My muscles screamed in protest. Every bone in my body yelled in pain.

The bad news? I was on almost zero energy.

The good news? I was on _almost_ zero energy.

Which is to stay, I still had some left.

As the deadly ascent continued, I found myself muttering the same mantra as Lucy: "Doctor... Doctor... Doctor..." It was like a was a broken record player, only able to say the same thing over and over. I blocked out everything else from my mind, all the agony I was inflicting upon myself, the feeling that my body needed to shut down _right __now_, the animalistic howling and snarling of the wind as it punched me relentlessly. I ignored all of it, focusing my entire being, my entire soul, on the climb. The wind picked up so badly it cut through the layer of protective water around me, and it swirled around Chiwohiku, nearly ripping it from its belt around my midsection. I gasped and held it in place with my mind, then struggled upwards again. After what seemed like days, but was probably a few hours, the steepness of the slope lessened. The endless rock wall gave way to a floor of snow which my water-covered hands and feet plunged into. Ahead of me, I spied a faint castle jutting out of the descending gloom.

I had done it. I had reached the top.

Grinning weakly to myself, I allowed my fatigue to take the wheel, welcoming unconsciousness with open arms.

* * *

**There we go! The newest chapter of _Across the Sands!_ Sorry it was so late. Play practice doesn't end until 6:00 now, so basically the only time I can work on this fanfiction is the weekend. I didn't even get to _begin_ this chapter until this morning.  
**

Diamond: That... was the worst... freaking experience... ever...

Lucy: We made it... to the doctor!

**I hope you enjoyed this new update! For those of you who are new to the _One Piece: Full Blast _series, I'd really appreciate it if you would follow and/or favorite this novel of the story, though it isn't necessary for you to do so. I'd also love to hear what you have to say about this fanfiction, so please review! Oh, and in case you forgot, please check out my newest fanfiction, _Gender Confusion Confusion_! I promise you won't be disappointed, although there's no Damon or Diamond in that story.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	26. No 26: Never Anger Old Ladies!

**Hello again! The Dressrosa Arc is so damn epic! I wish One Piece would air more than once a week. *pouts* It was funner when I was so far back in the series. Then I could watch new episodes whenever I wanted. Oh well. Here are my replies to the reviews on the previous chapter:**

**OPFan37:** Actually, I managed to get one posted today, because it's President's Day and we don't have any school! So yay! I don't know many British terms 'cause I'm an original Sammie and a red neck (Mid-eastern) at that, but if you're meaning what I think you mean... then yeah, we're on second term, too. And we're getting crammed with homework on top of my being in the school play. *grumbles* No problem! He was a good idea!

**DarkLord98: **Actually, he's just a normal Devil Fruit user. But it's still gonna be an awesome fight!

**Thunderqueen-nat: **Oh, howdy! Haven't seen a review from you before, I think. Yep, Diamond and the old lady's interaction is gonna be hilarious! *gets kicked into the wall* Doctorine: YOU SHOULD WATCH YOUR MOUTH, BRAT!

**Chapter 26 start!**

* * *

Why You Shouldn't Anger Old Ladies  


Many Things are Finally Explained!

* * *

**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_As the deadly ascent continued, I found myself muttering the same mantra as Lucy: "Doctor... Doctor... Doctor..." It was like a was a broken record player, only able to say the same thing over and over. I blocked out everything else from my mind, all the agony I was inflicting upon myself, the feeling that my body needed to shut down right now, the animalistic howling and snarling of the wind as it punched me relentlessly. I ignored all of it, focusing my entire being, my entire soul, on the climb. The wind picked up so badly it cut through the layer of protective water around me, and it swirled around Chiwohiku, nearly ripping it from its belt around my midsection. I gasped and held it in place with my mind, then struggled upwards again. After what seemed like days, but was probably a few hours, the steepness of the slope lessened. The endless rock wall gave way to a floor of snow which my water-covered hands and feet plunged into. Ahead of me, I spied a faint castle jutting out of the descending gloom._

_I had done it. I had reached the top._

_Grinning weakly to myself, I allowed my fatigue to take the wheel, welcoming unconsciousness with open arms._

Initially upon letting exhaustion take over, I floated in and out of consciousness, but what I saw in the real world made about as much sense as the dreams I was having, which is to say, _none_. Once, I saw an old lady in a purple jacket and glasses peering over me creepily. Another time, I saw a humongous, brown yeti making adjustments to what looked like a vial of liquid medicine.

One of my dreams was about Lucy and a female Zoro being forced into feminine clothes, much to their chagrin. Both were complaining about 'becoming weaker' and 'loosing their manhood,' though Lucy referred to it as her 'family jewels.' I swore I must have been high on drugs or something.

My second dream was much more sane.

I once again found myself in that familiar black void, though I could now see my father, Aeso, sitting in a simple chair, arms folded across his cloaked chest - - though everything was strangely black and white. His bat wings fluttered uselessly on his back and his red eyes, which looked black now, were narrowed in concentration. He muttered something about faulty devices and tapped what looked like the kind of microphones that Broadway stars use. The dream suddenly faded in and out of static, making my ears buzz in discomfort, but everything not part of the void was suddenly dappled in color.

"**There we go,**" Aeso said, evidently satisfied. He twirled his scythe in his fingers and looked at me, grinning widely. "**Good news, Diamond-chan! We gods have discovered the cure to your curse! Well, I say that we discovered it, but really we just prayed to our Father, God, so much that he relented, despite the fact that He's not really supposed to intervene with human events. You know, free will and all that.**"

I grunted. "Whatever, just tell me how to change back into a guy already."

"**Right. Well, it turns out that if you want to become a boy again, you'll have to kiss a girl.**"

I wasn't sure I had heard him quite right. "Er - - Come again?"

He nodded. "**Yep, you've gotta kiss a girl. Doesn't have to be any particular girl, just a girl. Although it ****_does_**** have to be a kiss of true love. You know, true love breaks the curse and all that?**"

"You - - You mean I have to _kiss someone_!?" I stammered, face beet red. "But who would want to kiss me!? I mean - - I'm a girl! Right now. What am I supposed to do, find some lesbian and make out with her?"

"**I dunno,**" Aeso said with a shrug. "**He just said you have to kiss a girl and really love her.**"

"Great. Just what I needed. A curse with a cure that I'll never be able to get..." I blinked. "Oh yeah. I've been meaning to ask you something for a while. Why me? Why was I chosen for this quest? Why not someone more qualified? Or why not you gods yourselves?"

The bat wings on Aeso's back fluttered, and suddenly I realized it was like my eye twitching - - a nervous reaction he had no control over. Perhaps I had more in common with my immortal father than I had previously thought.

"**About that,**" the god of the sea coughed awkwardly. "**Well, the truth is, we ****_can't_**** fight this battle. You see, there are some laws that we gods were given a long time ago. They are called the Three Mortal Sins, as dear old Lady Venticus probably told you.**"

I thought back to my meeting with the strange woman on Conomi Island, which had been where I had first received Chiwohiku, which was hanging by my side in its sheath even in my dream. I had also been a boy back then. Man, those were the good old days... "Yeah," I agreed. "She mentioned something about them."

"**Well, whenever a god or goddess commits a combined total of seven of these Three Mortal Sins,**" he continued, "**he or she becomes what is known as a demon. They loose some of their humanity and become evil, though they still have the chance to repent and regain their godhood. If, however, they commit a combined total of seventeen more Sins, they become Senshi, loosing their humanity all together and becoming totally and completely evil. Oh, and when a god transforms into a demon, he looses some of his immortality, allowing him to be killed by demigods. If he descends to a Senshi, of which there are currently only three, he looses even more of his humanity, allowing him to be killed by both demigods and humans. However, his power level is also upped.**"

I nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I've heard all of that before. Get to the point, will ya?"

"**I am. Be patient, child. As I was saying, we cannot kill the demons and Senshi ourselves for this reason, the Three Mortal Sins. They are the Sin of Murder, the Sin of Interference, and the Sin of Disclosure. The Sin of Murder states that neither God nor the immortals can commit any murders, be they of humans, gods, demons, or even Senshi. The Sin of Interference states that none of us can interfere with each others' territories without freely given permission. The Sin of Disclosure says we cannot reveal ourselves as gods, though demons revealing themselves as such is fine. These were mainly created due to the fact that millenia ago, we were interfering with human relationships too much. Humans were advancing too quickly. Their fabled city, Atlantis, had to be sunk into my territory, the seas, because the humans were becoming too greedy due to their increased intelligence and were thinking of themselves as gods, and their king claimed ****_he_**** was God. This blasphemy, of course, didn't go too well with God, and He commanded me to consume their oh-so-glorious city. I did as He said, because He is God and what God says goes, and I made sure to keep the ruins of Atlantis safe from prying eyes. As thanks, He made my children some of the most powerful among the demigods. He also decided that one of them would one day save the world and become King of the Seas - - you.**"

"King of the Seas," I repeated, suddenly feeling very small. "Me." I swallowed nervously.

What exactly had I gotten myself into?

Aeso smiled. "**I know it's a lot to take in, but just think about it, okay? This is your destiny, Diamond-chan. You were meant to do this since before you were even ****_born_****. It's as much a part of you as your male half, or your female half - - and before I forget to mention this, whenever you kiss a girl with pure love, you'll switch genders.**"

I leaned forward with shark-teeth. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT SOONER!?" I snapped, eye twitching.

"**Diamond-chan, you are the Prince - - or, well, I guess you're the Princess right now - - of Atlantis,**" my father prattled on. "**Your great-great-great-great-great-times-a-thousand grandmother was the only denizen of the fabled city who was not overcome with greed. As such, she was spared from the catastrophe of her fellow Atlantians. Her blood burns in you. Use it. Surpass the growing strength of the Senshi and their minions, the demons and the monsters known as the Archetypes.**" He gave me one last, proud grin. "**Only you can do it, but not even you can do it alone.**"

I frowned and opened my mouth to say something, but the dream faded into static again. I had a momentary glimpse of _The_ _Wheel of Fortune_, just when someone had hit Bankrupt and the crowd gave a collective _"AWW!"_ of disappointment.

Then the darkness returned and claimed me once again.

* * *

When I woke up for good, there was the sound of lots of furniture and glass crashing and banging. The gray brick walls of wherever I was shook. I examined the room, taking in my surroundings. The room had a mini fountain built into the bottom of a wall, three beds, a cabinet full of strange-looking tools, a plush blue chair, and a bunk bed with a bedside table, on which rested a cup of cold tea. Lucy and Sanji were laying on the other two beds, snoring away peacefully. All three of us were wrapped up in bandages like mummies.

"Where... are we?" I said to myself. I sat up in my bed, blinking groggily. My muscles groaned in protest, still sore from my long, hard climb. Wait... the climb! I had made it to the top! We must have been brought to the castle by someone.

I noticed a coat hanger, which had my winter clothes and leather jacket hanging on it. My treasure looked like it had been frozen and thawed out. Chiwohiku rested against the wall next to the coat hanger, a slightly blue glow emanating out of the top of its sheath.

I started to get up, thinking that I'd retrieve my jacket. My breasts bounced a little under my green shirt with the action; I must've somehow lost my bra (I shuddered just thinking about the fact that I had to call _any_ bra mine) sometime on the mountain without realizing it. But before I could force myself to stand up, much to my surprise, something very small trotted into the room, carrying a much-too-heavy basket of bloody bandages. He didn't notice me, and I as I stared, the creature set the bandages in the stone sink I'd seen earlier. The creature had two antlers, a blue nose, a brown and furry body, and almost heart-shaped hooves. A red hat with a white X was perched on his head, and he wore red shorts. He washed the bandages, then looked at Lucy.

My jaw dropped.

It was... so... cute!

Now, I don't know whether it was just because it was extremely cute, or whether it was the feminine qualities that came with becoming a girl totally overreacting, but I couldn't hold back a squeal of excitement. I leaped off the bed and dashed over to the animal (which I was assuming was a reindeer due to the antlers and the fact that this is a winter island), and wrapped him up in a big hug.

"NANI!?" the reindeer screamed.

I blinked in surprise and almost dropped him. "Eh!? You can talk!?"

He started squirming violently, like a cat wriggling away from an overexcited three year old, and the next thing I knew he was out of my grip. I pouted from the loss. His little body had been extremely warm because of the fur and very cuddly. My fingers made little groping motions and I grinned a little, edging closer to the reindeer who had backed into the bunk bed, and who was trying to back away even more.

Lucy's sleepy voice made me stop advancing on the terrified reindeer in surprise. "Meat..." she moaned. "Hungry..."

I blinked and looked at her. She had woken up a little, her eyes fluttering tiredly, her well-endowed chest, which was covered in bandages at the moment, rising and falling with each breath. I was very lucky that it was covered up, because her red vest had been unbuttoned sometime on the climb and would've given me a clear shot of her breasts.

She glanced at me. "Oh, hey, Diamond-chan..." she mumbled. Then her gaze shifted to the wall behind me and she drooled. "Meat?"

Chopper face-faulted and dashed around the room crazily, crashing into Sanji's bed and shivering.

"Hi, Lucy-chan!" I said happily. "Isn't this guy just so cute!?"

"Venison stew..." Sanji muttered as he sat up slowly. "If you leave it to marinate in a pot for three hours, it gets nice and tender." A hungry grin spread across his face. Although my stomach growled at the thought of food, I glared at him.

"Oi!" I snapped, tic-pulsing as the little reindeer backed away farther, clearly scared out of his wits. "Don't cook the poor little guy! I wanna cuddle him!"

"Meat..." Lucy moaned, drool cascading out of her mouth.

"Venison..." Sanji agreed, leaning out and grabbing the creature's antler.

I batted his hand away. "No cooking! Just cuddling!"

The cute little fella looked at each of us in turn, more and more frightened. I grinned apologetically and stepped forward to wrap him up in another big reindeer hug, but his eyes nearly popped out of his head and his jaw dropped to the ground. He screamed, "SAVE ME!" as he tore out of the room. I face-faulted, as did the other two Straw Hats present, and we raced after him, each with different intentions.

Lucy and Sanji groped for him as we chased him around the castle, knocking over random furniture and breaking important-looking vases.

"WAIT, MEAT!" my captain roared. She opened her mouth and attempted to take a bite out of the thing's arm, but I kicked her out of the way.

The cook glanced at her. "Matte, Lucy! I have to cook it first!"

I smashed the two idiots to the ground with my fists. "NO WAY WILL YOU TWO EAT IT, DEAD OR ALIVE! IT'S WAY TOO CUTE TO EAT!"

We tore through a larger room with a fireplace and a bed covered in purple sheets, on which a redhead in a blue nightgown sat, blinking. There was also an old lady with a crinkly face, purple pants, and a white T-shirt with a star on it.

It was only a minute after we had exited the room that I realized who the redhead was.

"Matte, minna!" I said, and we halted to a stop. I grinned as I motioned back in the way we'd came from. "That was Nami! She's awake again!"

"Hontou!?" Lucy gasped.

"NAMI-SWAN!?" Sanji cheered, face-faulting.

We raced back into the room with Nami and the old woman, momentarily forgetting about the incredibly cute animal we'd been chasing down.

"Nami!" Lucy exclaimed, grinning, hands on her knees.

Sanji was ecstatic. "Nami-swan!"

"You got better!"

"How goes it, Navigator?" I asked, extremely happy now that I knew for sure my friend was safe. If we had trudged through all that snow, faced those Lapahns, evaded Wapol and his subordinates, and climbed that three-mile-high mountain for nothing, I'd have been _furious_ at some bozo.

Nami smiled warmly. She looked much better than when I had last seen her. Her face actually had color again, and had lost most of the unhealthy red tinge. "I'm a lot better now," she confirmed, "thanks to you guys."

"Yosha!" the ero-cook decided. "Nami-san, I'll whip up a nice venison dish to help speed up your recovery!"

I glared at him. "Didn't I just say we aren't gonna eat that reindeer!? Help me catch it so I can cuddle it, but don't you dare even _think_ about cooking it up!"

"Hai, Diamond-chan~!"

-WHACK!-

Lucy pouted. "Eh? But I'm so hungry... I wanna eat it!"

"I'll cook it for you and Nami-san, Lucy-sama~!"

"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON!?" I deadpanned with shark teeth. "AND SINCE WHEN DID YOU START CALLING LUCY-CHAN THAT!?"

The sound of hooves trotting on a brick floor attracted our attention to the little reindeer, who had been attempting to sneak out of the room through the doorway we'd just entered.

He face-faulted.

"MATTE!" Sanji, Lucy, and I shouted in unison.

And thus the hunt began again.

"COME BACK HERE, MEAT!"

"MATTE, LUCY-SAMA. DON'T EAT HIM YET!"

"CUDDLE WITH ME, REINDEER-CHAN!"

"Stop it, humans!" the animal pleaded as we dashed down a hall. He forced Lucy's face away with a paw and held Sanji back with an antler around the neck. As for me, I was starting to tire and was falling behind the others, but I realized that if I failed to get to the reindeer first, Sanji and Lucy would cook him up and eat him, and then I'd be plum out of luck. The thought gave me an extra burst of energy, despite the fact that I was still stiff and exhausted from the climb.

"How can it be a reindeer?" Lucy asked me, confused. She made another grab for him with her bandaged hand, but missed. "Reindeer don't talk."

My legs pumped like pistons. "Just look at him! He's clearly a reindeer!"

"Stop it!" our quarry repeated, starting to growl in annoyance. Lucy's wandering hand found the side of his mouth and pulled back, and finally, the reindeer had had enough. A tic mark pulsed to life on the back of his hat and, as I finally caught up with the three again, his body suddenly expanded and grew taller and larger than all of us, becoming the yeti I'd thought I'd seen while drifting in and out of consciousness. My jaw dropped.

"I AIN'T YOUR FOOD AND I AIN'T A STUFFED BEAR!" the thing roared. We froze in shock, and the next thing we knew, we were eating the brick floor, courtesy of the yeti-reindeer-thing.

I saw stars.

* * *

**COMMERCIAL BREAK!**

* * *

After the last encounter with the reindeer-yeti, which had resulted in all three of us healthy Straw Hats getting pummeled by it, we reluctantly gave up on the chase... though that was mostly because we couldn't find it anymore. We had a quick conference and decided to head back to the room that Nami and the old lady were in. Now that my mind had cleared a little and I wasn't distracted by the cuteness of the reindeer, I realized the old lady was who had saved us - - Doctor Kureha, the last remaining doctor on Drum Island.

Which meant... the cute reindeer was Chopper, and he'd be joining our crew!

I was ecstatic.

We somehow found Nami's room again and ended up sitting around a table with the old woman, who seemed amused by us, though she looked at me rather strangely. Several large vats of stew were lying on the floor, as well as a stack of bowls. Someone must've told the doctor about Lucy's enormous appetite... probably Nami.

Minutes later, Lucy slapped the table, done with her meal. "Thank you for saving us, grandma!" she declared gratefully. "Join our crew! We need an awesome doctor to fix us up whenever we're injured!"

Doctor Kureha - - should I just call her Doctorine, like Chopper-chan? - - smirked and raised a finger. "Lucy!" she began. "That's your name, right?"

The oblivious idiot blinked and nodded. "Yeah!"

"Did you just call me 'grandma?'"

"Yeah, I did, grandma."

Well, I suppose she gets points for being stupidly honest.

As well as a foot to the face, delivered by Doctorine. "YOU SHOULD WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" the old doctor snapped as Lucy flew back into the stone wall, cracking it.

My eyes popped out of my head and I made myself as small as I could in my chair. "Scary!"

She sat down again, folding her hands across her chest. "I'm still in my sparkling, too young, too young one hundred and thirties, you know."

I sweatdropped. "Er - - right. Too young, far too young."

-SMASH!-

I was sent flying into the wall next to Lucy.

"I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE!"

Once again, I saw stars.

I couldn't see him because I had been lodged into the wall face-first, but from the ero-cook's tone, I could tell Sanji was impressed. "Whoa. Even though you're one hella old lady, you're pretty strong."

There was the sound of yet another wall cracking.

The three of us fell from our respective walls and stared up at the ceiling, our eyes not much more than dizzy spirals.

"You want me to be a kaizoku?" Doctorine mused, snorting. "What a load of crap. You're wasting your breath. I'm not interested in the ocean."

Once the world stopped spinning, I struggled to my feet and rubbed the bump on my head that had been engendered by that brutal kick. I stumbled over to the table again and plopped back down in my chair. Lucy sat down next to me, a trickle of blood running out of her nose, which had somehow been broken. Maybe Doctorine knew Haki.

"You don't have to be!" she tried again. "Just come on an adventure with us, grandma!"

The old lady in question raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I just tell you to watch your mouth?"

I facepalmed. "You really need to learn when to shut up, Lucy-chan."

Suddenly I felt someone or something staring at me. I blinked and looked behind me, towards the hall connecting to this room. Standing there in the doorway, looking like he was hiding behind the corner backwards, was the reindeer-yeti, back in his amazingly cute reindeer form.

My jaw dropped, as did Lucy's and Sanji's. Chopper's dropped so far that it almost kissed the floor.

"AHHHH!"

"MATTE, MEAT!"

"LET ME HUG YOU, CHOPPER-CHAN! YOU'RE TOO CUTE TO RESIST!"

We had torn off into the hallway again. An angry shout from behind us drew my attention.

"Stop, you bakas!" yelled Doctorine, chasing after us with handfuls of knives and other sharp objects. My eyes almost popped out of my head and I increased my speed, as did Lucy and Sanji, who had noticed the heavily armed old lady as well. "Before you eat Chopper, _I'LL _EAT YOU FIRST!"

"M-M-Matte!" I cried, running as fast as my legs could carry me. "I just want to cuddle with him!"

"THE HAG!" Sanji and Lucy screamed in terror.

Anime tears poured out of my eyes. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?"

"Where the hell did _she_ come from!?" the ero-cook shouted.

"SH-SH-SH-SHE'S GOT KNIVES!" Lucy shrieked.

We found a way back into Nami's room, and then saw another door we hadn't taken before. We burst through it and dashed out onto what appeared to be a hangover above the main hall of the castle, but the strange thing was that it was freezing, and that snow was covering everything. I felt myself slow down almost to a stop, and I collapsed to the ground, thinking, _Damn. I wish I'd brought my leather jacket_.

"NO MAN - - ER - - WOMAN LEFT BEHIND!" my captain called, and I felt two soft, rubbery hands grip me around my waist, which had greatly expanded since my genderbending. My eyes widened a little, and the next second I found myself flying through the air.

Since I couldn't move anymore due to the cold, Lucy had taken to carrying me around over her shoulder like - - dare I say it - - a princess. I blushed deeply at the position I was in and tried to glare at her.

"W-W-What do you think y-y-you're doing!?" I snapped, my teeth chattering.

"Carrying you," came her simple reply.

I felt like facegrounding. The palm just wasn't enough.

Sanji, dressed only in his dark blue dress shirt, black dress pants, and dress shoes, panted. "There's something wrong with this castle! It's so cold, and there's snow everywhere."

There was a minute-long delay.

Lucy face-faulted and her body suddenly started shivering violently. "EH!? IT'S SO COLD!"

I pounded my fists on her back. "YOU'RE TOO FREAKIN' SLOW!"

We came to a stop, but because I was facing backwards and I couldn't move very much, I had no way of seeing what was going on. All I did see was the snow-covered hall we'd just ran down, thankfully empty of freaky old hags playing with sharp objects. Though I did hear the blowing of wind.

"Take a look," Sanji said.

"How?" I demanded.

"There's snow everywhere."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE IGNORE ME!?"

The ero-cook must've been deaf or something, because he prattled on without paying one iota of attention to me. "All the doors to the unused rooms are frozen shut," he continued. "It's like that sister of yours came in here and went wild, Diamond-chan."

We had told him about our battles with the Baroque Works agents over the two days it had taken to get to Drum Island.

Suddenly, I saw a flash of purple and metal, and we all glanced to the right in mild interest. Jumping through the air, weapons raised, was Doctor Kureha.

All three of us face-faulted.

And tore off down the hall again while the crazed grandma twirled an axe in her hands, calling, "GET BACK HERE!"

My eyes widened as she began throwing various spears, swords, and other weapons at us. There were even one or two frying pans, though why that was, I had no idea. Maybe she had watched Disney's _Tang__led_ too many times and became inspired by Flynn Rider.

"GO FASTER!" I shrilled, acting as lookout as always, feeling my face pale. "SHE'S GAINING ON US! FASTER! FASTER!"

"WE'RE GOING FASTER!" Lucy replied. Her head smacked into the grip of the axe, which had stuck into the wall somewhere ahead of us, and stayed there, her neck stretching backward. I panicked and grabbed onto her long neck, waving it up and down. Her head dislodged from the axe and retracted back to its original length with a rubbery snap.

"Oi, oi, Lucy!" Sanji pleaded. "Stop trying to get that hag to join our crew! She ain't no doctor! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL US!"

One knife came too close to the top of my back for comfort. "AHHH! TOO SCARY!"

More dangerous projectiles flashed past us, including... a chicken?

We took a detour through a door that wasn't frozen shut. I immediately warmed up, and I asked Lucy to set me down, since I felt like I could start running again. She nodded, though by her expression she was still totally wigging out, and complied. We sped through a few more halls, and at the end of the third, we found the room with Nami in it... which also had Chopper.

Lucy and Sanji skidded to a halt.

"THERE YOU ARE!" my captain bellowed.

"COME BACK HERE!" Sanji commanded.

And they took off back into the hall.

I panted. "I... give up... Hugging that cutie isn't worth getting killed over..."

Nami sweatdropped. "Were you always this crazy over cute things?"

Doctor Kureha walked into the room and I almost freaked out again, but I saw that she had run out of weapons and calmed down a little. I didn't completely let my guard down, however. She had one _mean_ kick, as proven by the fact that she had knocked Lucy, Sanji, and I into the walls, which still had dents from our bodies.

"You three are quite quick," she said, directed at me. She sat down in her chair from our luncheon. I flinched and stiffened, grinning weakly.

"Heh - - yeah - - well - -" I managed awkwardly.

_Wow, Diamond-chan. Such great linguistic skills._

Doctorine smirked at us. "I'm disappointed in you guys."

Nami and I blinked. "Eh?"

"Who said you could tempt my reindeer when I'm not around?" she continued, her crinkled face lifted in amusement. This old lady really confused me. Was she mad at us or what?

The navigator grinned. "Oh. You're saying I need permission to hit on a guy?"

I regarded her, impressed. "How can you talk to this scary old hag so easily?"

-BOOT!-

I once again slammed into the wall, though this time I had landed in a way that still allowed me to see what was going on. Which meant that I could clearly tell Nami was sweatdropping.

The old lady snickered, her laugh reminding me eerily of a witch's cackle. "No, you don't need my permission. If you want him, go ahead and take him. However, someone like him won't go so easily. His heart bears deep scars. Large wounds that even _I_ cannot heal. You see, from the moment he was born, he was abandoned by his parents and his herd."

Nami gasped in horror.

By this time, I had dislodged myself from the wall and recovered from the old lady's kick, though my head still throbbed in protest. "Wasn't it because he looks a little different or something?" I groaned. "This world is so full of shit. The discrimination is terrible."

Doctor Kureha gave me a strange look. "You're right. How did you know that?"

"She's a psychic," the navigator explained for me, eyes still wide in horror at Chopper's suffering, and we hadn't even gotten into the story yet.

"Ah, I see. I've been meaning to ask you something - - Diamond, isn't it?" I nodded in confirmation. "Chopper noticed something strange with your DNA when he was operating on your body. It was far different from a normal humans. You had genes he'd never seen before, though I've treated only two other patients with those same genes - - both of them outsiders. Would you happen to be a demigod?"

I nodded. "You could tell that by my genes?"

"Some of them weren't exactly human," Doctorine said. "But there was one thing that did rather confuse me. It looked like you had a Y chromosome activate until very recently, though a second X chromosome is currently overpowering it. Why is that? Were you originally a boy but you got turned into a girl?" She chuckled at her own joke.

I sweatdropped a little. "Uh... actually..." I began.

She blinked. "You know something about that? What a strange crew that Lucy has."

"It's only gonna get stranger," I muttered.

"In any case, you were right about Chopper. His parents and herd rejected him simply because he had a blue nose."

"Sounds like the story of Rudolph."

"It does, doesn't it? Well, he always walked alone by himself at the back of the herd. This is a newborn baby we're talking about. Then one day, he ate one of the Devil Fruits, the Human-Human one, and came to be treated as a complete monster. The other reindeer viciously chased him away. He had completely ceased to be a normal reindeer. But he must have wished for some nakama. So in the form of a man, he went down to a human village. But he didn't look like a human, either. For some reason, his blue nose didn't change."

My body shook in rage. "SO!? Just because he looks a bit different doesn't mean people should shun him for it!"

Doctorine nodded, looking very serious. "I think that, too. But the villagers were too frightened of him and shot him. He didn't have anywhere to run to. He didn't even know who to hate. Chopper only wanted some nakama, but was branded a monster. He was no longer a reindeer... but neither was he a human. So he lived all alone, in total solitude." Her had expression turned a little curious. "Can you fill the void in his heart?"

I smirked. "Just you wait. He'll come around. Lucy's a miracle worker with people like that. She can make even past enemies her allies."

Nami tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"It's already been proven with Vivi," I pointed out. "Before she begged us to help her, Zoro fought her, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

The old lady smiled. "Well, Diamond, I hope you're right. Chopper desperately needs nakama."

"I bet Lucy's already decided to make him join us," I predicted. "And when she decides something like that, there's no getting out of it."

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**There y'all go! Another chapter of my rising hit fanfiction! I'm really surprised that my other, newer fanfiction is getting so popular so fast, however. It's only Day 4 since it was posted and it already has 19 follows and 13 favorites. I guess people just like _Gender Confusion Confusion_'s plot. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, here's a quick summary: _Luffy eats a pink fruit. Zoro drinks from a pink fountain. The next morning, they wake up as Lucy and Zoe - - girl versions of themselves! Then enemy pirates attack and things quickly escalate from there. _For those of you who don't know, one of the dreams Diamond has was about my new fanfiction.  
**

Diamond: Why can't I be in your new fanfiction!? *pouts*

Because it's set in a universe of One Piece without gods, demons, Senshi, or demigods, dumbass.

Diamond: ...Shit-author.

Lucy: Hey! Why am I originally a boy in it!?

Zoro: Damn you. You turned me into a freaking girl in that fanfiction!

...Should I call a lawyer now, or...?

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! For those of you new to the series, please follow and/or favorite this novel! Following allows you to get an email from whenever I post a new chapter. Favoriting shows just how much you like _OP Full Blast: Across the Sands. _And reviewing lets me know your exact thoughts on the story! Over and out.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	27. No 27: Diamond's Brooding!

**That Doctorine is one scary lady. She can break Lucy's nose, make Diamond see stars (although she was already injured from the long journey up Snow Mountain), she can scare the living crap out of three of the Monster Quartet... what else can she do? Who knows? XD Thank you to all the people who have recently followed and/or favorited this fanfiction. Your support is appreciated! Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**gamelover41592: **I'm not dead yet, so I think I'm good. I do have the author-ity, after all. XD Writer jokes, writer jokes.

**DarkLord98: **Yup, and you'll see them come into play later down the road as well - - not just as Diamond, but also Damon will become a bit more feminine himself, which would actually help him in the long run, I think. Seeing the perspective of both a boy and a girl would do a person some good.

**Kakusei: **I know, right? And it means we get to see more of Diamond forever! dB It would make making-out a bit awkward, though. lol.

**Thunderqueen-nat: **Uh-huh, it's definitely the hormones. Damon's too much of a man to be defeated by cuteness. Although some of his girl reactions will carry over in small amounts even when he eventually becomes a guy again. Yay! Comedy is fun! Especially when it screws with the characters! XD I'm having too much fun writing this fanfiction...

**Chapter 27 start!**

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Diamond's Brooding  


People Fusing, Idiots, and Epic Speeches!  


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**Previously on ****One Piece Full Blast:**

_I smirked. "Just you wait. He'll come around. Lucy's a miracle worker with people like that. She can make even past enemies her allies."_

_Nami tilted her head. "What do you mean?"_

_"It's already been proven with Vivi," I pointed out. "Before she begged us to help her, Zoro fought her, remember?"_

_"Oh, yeah."_

_The old lady smiled. "Well, Diamond, I hope you're right. Chopper desperately needs nakama."_

_"I bet Lucy's already decided to make him join us," I predicted. "And when she decides something like that, there's no getting out of it."_

I was starting to feel stiff because my muscles were finally starting tighten up, so I knew I'd have to heal myself soon. After all, I wasn't quite sure when it would be, but I knew a battle was happening soon. I didn't want to have to face Armor Dude on empty. It would also stop me from having to listen to that cute little reindeer's terrible past. I didn't like listening to people's troubles, no matter how adorable they were.

"Do you mind if I take a quick bath?" I asked Doctorine. She raised an eyebrow. "I'm a demigod of the sea. Water heals me faster than anything."

The old lady (though I didn't dare call her that to her face after those brutal kicks) nodded in understanding. "I see. You can find the bathroom by going out into the Great Hall and then taking the third unfrozen door on the left. Then you go down that hall, and it's the fifth on the right."

"Great Hall, third left, fifth right," I repeated. "Gotcha."

I began to walk off in the direction of the bathroom, wincing as my stiff muscles sent waves of needle-pain through my feminine body, but luckily I was brought out of my misery by Sanji walking into the room, carrying two plates of a delicious-looking meal and two cups of warm tea. Despite the fact that I'd already eaten, my stomach rumbled.

"In order to help you regain your health, Nami-san and Diamond-chan," the ero-cook said lovingly, I've prepared an extra special meal for your enjoyment!"

Nami smiled. "Arigatou, Sanji-kun."

My eye twitched at his stupidity and Doctor Kureha raised an eyebrow, but I accepted the meal without a single complaint. "Yeah, arigatou," I thanked, stumbling out the door with extra package. I nibbled on the meal - - a perfectly cooked chunk of beef drizzled in sauce that wasn't too spicy, but not too sweet either. There was a side dish of rice oozed in beef juice, and by the aroma, I guessed that the tea was Earl Grey. I'd never quite enjoyed the taste of tea, but if it was Sanji's... As the biting cold threatened to bring me down, I sipped the tea. A content smile spread across my face and the cold of the Great Hall was chased away.

"Not too bad," I conceded.

I almost got lost a few times, but I finally managed to find the bathroom and set my plate and cup on the edge of the bathtub, then turned the tap. As the tub filled with water, pleasantly warm steam filtered through the air. I sighed in relaxation and stripped off my green shirt, jeans, eye patch, sneakers, and socks. Then I unclasped my bra, relieved that I didn't have to wear the vile garment for once, and pulled down my panties, scarred for life for the fact that I even had to _wear_ them in the first place. I unwrapped the bloody bandages from my body, revealing scars and bruises from past battles that hadn't quite went away yet. I dipped a foot in the partly-filled tub, then pulled it back in sudden pain.

"Kyaa!" I screamed, then blushed at the sound of my own high, soft voice. "Matte, did I just say, _kya_? Man, I really _am_ turning into a girl... but man was that _hot_." I balanced it out with the cold tap, then stepped into the bath again. Now it was a much more acceptable temperature.

As I soaked in the warm tub, my cheeks flushing a little from the heat, I examined the bathroom. The tub itself was normal, just plain white, made out of... whatever tubs are made of. The taps, on the other hand, looked like either very convincing bronze or solid gold. A mirror was situated directly in front of me and I quickly looked away, blushing harder. I still hadn't quite... _examined_ myself yet. I wasn't quite ready to go there. Checking out myself with clothes on? Been there, done that. Naked? ...Not so much. I felt myself burning with embarrassment at even _thinking _about the idea.

There was a window just to my right that showed the view from the castle: pretty much all mountain, because there was a snowstorm outside. The floor and walls of the bathroom were the same brick as the rest of the castle, though painted white and soft yellow respectively instead of the usual grey color. The sink was pretty much exactly like the bath tub except a miniature version and adorned with make-up, soaps, toothbrushes and toothpastes, combs, and such. I blinked, a little surprised. So even old hags wore make up, eh? The world sure was a strange place.

I briefly wondered about my sanity. I found incredibly cute, talking reindeer, stretchy female pirates, a guy who fights with two swords in each hand and one in his mouth, a wimpy dude with a nose that had to be at least a foot long, a woman who could sprout multiple hands (although to be honest, I'd only met Robin briefly), fishmen, a floating restaurant staffed by violent cooks, and the fact that gods, demons, and Senshi existed to be normal, and yet I thought that old hags wearing make up was weird? I had to be loosing my mind.

My mind wandered as the water level rose up to the bottoms of my chest.

How did God and his sons and daughters expect me to save the entire multiverse? It felt like an enormous weight on my shoulders, like I was burdened with Atlas's punishment of holding up the sky. I was just one boy... er, girl. The lives of so many people hung on the balance. If I lost even once, that scale could be tipped.

I mean, I respected the fact that I was chosen by Him, but how was I supposed to do it? I couldn't even save myself back in Little Garden. My own sister had killed me. Luckily, I'd had an extra life, but the only reason I won even then was because I'd had the element of surprise. Who would've expected someone stabbed through the heart to get up and fight again? It must've been like fighting a zombie for Prim.

Which was exactly what I'd be doing in Thriller Bark, of course.

If I survived this insane world long enough to even see it.

I made aimless circles in the tub water, though I didn't dare peek at my female body. I could feel myself being healed, my stiff muscles loosening up. Even though it wasn't technically seawater, the tub water was filling up my energy battery like I was a human Energizer Bunny. I finished off the last of Sanji's meal and the surprisingly good tea.

As I relaxed, which was hard to do when you felt like you had just eaten twenty packs of Skittles (damn did I miss American junk food - - this girl needed a McDouble on the double), my ears twitched, picking up something from outside. It sounded like yelling and... crashing? My eyes cracked open just in time to see the water in the tub vibrate.

"Looks like my brooding time is over," I guessed. I pulled the drain on the tub and dried myself, using my demigodishness to do it in as short of a time as possible. Then I threw on my clothes, dashed out of the bathroom, and found my way back to Nami's room.

"What's going on?" the navigator asked blearily. She was the only one in the room and was bundled up in her covers, her empty plate lying forgotten on the floor beside her bed.

"No idea," I replied, pacing as I tried to remember the way back to the room I'd woken up in. "But it sounds like a fight. Oh, that's right! I remember now!"

"Remember what?"

But I had already dashed back down another hall, just missing Lucy, who came in looking for a coat herself.

Once I had retraced my steps to the first area of the castle I'd seen, I jumped into my abhorrently pink coat, then ran out to the Great Hall, dashing down to the bottom floor and past the huge spiral staircase that I only just now realized was there. I emerged out into the snow-covered mountain top to find Lucy, Doctorine, that cutie Chopper, and Sanji were already there. Sanji was dressed in the same outfit he'd been wearing on our journey up through the mountain, though Lucy now had on Nami's yellow-and-white checkered coat. The old lady hadn't dressed herself up at all, wearing the same purple pants, shirt, and jacket she'd had back inside. My eyes popped out of her head. How was she standing the cold?

All four of them were staring down none other than Wapol and his crew.

"Oh, it's the bakas," I said distastefully, my eye twitching. "What'd I miss?"

Wapol didn't look in good shape. He was suspended above the straight drop to the bottom of Snow Mountain, only surviving the ordeal because two of his subordinates, the clown-jester named Chess and Afro-Dude (this was one case when afros _didn't_ make their wearer cooler), held him up by his ankles. Armor Dude was growling in anger, glaring at my captain.

"Not much," Lucy admitted, cracking her knuckles. Doctorine and Chopper looked like they couldn't believe their eyes. "I just sent him flying, that's all."

"A, so desu ka."

The straw hatted girl turned her attention to the Wapol Pirates and narrowed her eyes. "You guys gave us a lot of trouble last time," she began. "It feels like you just keep getting in our way again and again."

"Why _are_ they here, anyway?" Sanji wondered.

I crossed my hands under my ample chest. "Probably something idiotic."

"True, true. But aren't those the same guys who we beat at sea yesterday?"

I remembered encountering them on our trek up the Drum Rockies, though the cook was unconscious at the time. "We saw them on the path here, too, but you were out of it by then."

"Oh."

"I was taking care of injured people back then," Lucy growled, "so I had to run, but now I don't have to hold back anymore!" An evil sneer broke out on her lips and she chuckled sadistically. "Oh~! Shishishi! You guys are so gonna get it!"

"We're goin' down, down, down in an earlier round~! And sugar, we're goin' down swingin'~!" I sang.

Lucy sighed. "You were right, Sanji. It's better to fight in cold weather when wearing a coat."

I sweatdropped. "Don't tell me you tried to fight in your vest and shorts...?"

"Oi, isn't that Nami's coat?" the ero-cook pointed out, getting a perverted grin. "Ah~! It would be so wonderful if you were in love with her~!"

"DON'T IMAGINE THINGS LIKE THAT!" I roared, hitting him roughly on the head with a tic-pulse. I may not have liked perverts as a guy, but as a girl, I hated them even more. It was seriously creepy having guys stare at you when you were a guy just a few days... well, almost a week ago.

"That baka's still alive!" Lucy announced, looking back out at the fallen opponent, who had been pulled back up to a safe position. "The kaba's been sent flying, though."

"Wait, what hippo?" I asked. "The one we saw them riding earlier?"

"Hai."

"Stupid hippo."

"Hai."

"Wapol-sama, are you alright?" Afro-Dude was saying. Damn, I really need to learn his name so I can stop calling him that already.

"They are much stronger than they appear!" Chess remarked. "I despise them!"

"That brown-haired one is kind of cute..." Armor Guy mused, making me face-fault and glare at him, the eye hidden behind my eye patch twitching. "If I beat her, can I keep her alive?"

"OI! JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!?" I snapped. "I'M A FREAKIN' GUY! WELL, I USED TO BE, ANYWAY!"

"EH!?"

"Doesn't matter anyway," Wapol grunted, face twitching as he jumped to his feet. "I won't let them live! I'll show them... the true power of the Munch-Munch Fruit!"

Wapol and Afro Dude squeaked, while Armor Guy just crossed his arms.

"Wapol-sama!" Chess tried, but was cut off.

"See it now! Baku-Baku Factory and Wapol Metal Disk!"

"Oh, he got up!" Lucy said unnecessarily.

"Late reaction, Lucy-chan," I muttered.

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "He shouldn't be able to stand after that hit he took."

"He's pretty durable!"

"Don't sound so impressed, Luce. He's still a total baka."

"True, true."

"Chess!" the corrupt king called. "Read to me the list of everything I ate today." The clown-jester in question jumped and pulled out a scroll, then began reading it. It had extremely strange menu choices like a_ butter sauteed cannon,_ a_ cannon extra rare, _and a _cannonball and gunpowder salad_, as well as one grilled house.

"You also completed one serving of Hirox's Mystery Armor Delight," Chess finished. "I suggest you don't use it until the enemy is weakened by the cannons, so you don't waste it."

Lucy sweatdropped and raised an eyebrow at Sanji. "And you think I eat a lot."

"You do. He's just an even bigger pig than you."

"Is there anything he _can't_ eat?" I wondered, disgusted by the man's diet.

"Watch closely..." Wapol told us, "as my food becomes my flesh and blood!"

"He's gonna do something!" Chopper realized.

I tried (and failed) to resist the urge to wrap the big cutie up in another hug, making him squirm and struggle in my grip. "Aw, Chopper-chan! You're so adorable! Even though you point out the obvious!"

Lucy sweatdropped. "Now you're starting to sound like Sanji..."

"Let me go!" the reindeer complained.

I was deaf to his begging, but something happened that surprised me enough to actually let go of the irresistibly cute doctor. Out of the corner of my eye, I'd noticed something happening with the top of Wapol's head. To be precise... a cannon was protruding from his skull!

"Nani!?" I demanded, my eyes bugging out.

"The hell?" Sanji gasped.

"Munch-Munch Food!" the leader of the enemies shouted as his body turned into a_ freakin' house._ His arms were now cannons and his entire body was a mini tin-plate house complete with a blue door and opaque windows. "Wapol House!"

"A house!?" our cook said.

"Sugoi!" Lucy declared.

I turned on her with shark teeth. "HOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT COOL AT ALL!?"

"The best is yet to come! My royal technique!" At these words, the two of Wapol's subordinates not covered in armor started freaking out and backing away, pleading for him not to do whatever he was about to do. I suddenly got a sick feeling in my gut. "Baku-Baku Factory!"

There was a massive chomp and I stared in horrified shock, feeling sick and cold all at once (which had nothing to do with the freezing weather). That bastard... had just eaten his own men! The last of his men - - didn't they just say his name was Hirox? - - looked away, seemingly in disgust. It was hard to tell with his face covered by that shiny helmet.

I was shocked to silence.

Sanji looked pale. "NANI!? HE'S EATING HIS OWN NAKAMA!?"

"A CANNIBAL!" Lucy shrieked.

Chopper had much the same reaction I did.

The king-turned-pirate had a bored expression as he chewed up his subordinates and swallowed, making me wanna throw up just at the thought of eating another human, much less an alive one. Or two. The sickening bastard raised his cannonized-arms and steam blew out of the cannon on top of his head. He danced around like a robot, jumping from foot to foot while making the sounds of gears turning.

Finally, he stopped the evil jig and blew a final jet of steam from all three of the cannons attached to his body.

Chopper gritted his teeth and swallowed dryly. "He stopped."

"Now! Look closely!" Wapol demanded. "Behold the miraculous fusion!"

I gasped and leaned forward. "What the hell is that disgusting bastard talking about? Is he doing something with his... urk!... digested subordinates?"

"A fusion?" Sanji repeated.

Then... the blue door where Wapol's belly button would be opened. From the inside. The combined voice of Chess and Afro-Dude filtered out in un-synchronized harmony, saying, "I am Drum Kingdom's greatest warrior... Chessmarimo!" From the bowels of our opponent climbed out an extremely bulbous combined version of Chess and Afro-Dude, with four arms but only two legs. The clown-jester's jester hat thing had expanded to include Afro-Dude's head, since said head was now above Chess's.

Sanji sweatdropped. "No, one's just riding on the other's shoulders..."

I blinked and realized something. "Matte! Just a minute! They're holding something! Is that an... iron sword?"

"Sugoi!" Lucy freaked.

"AGAIN, HOW IS THAT THE LEAST BIT COOL!?" I bellowed, smacking the idiot upside the back of her head. If she was a boy, I probably would've added a scoop-slam to that, too, but since she was a girl... it would've been very awkward to do that to her.

Doctorine put her hands on her hips, somehow managing not to look cold at all, despite her insufficient dress code. "Don't get caught off guard."

"Eh?" Sanji asked.

The old lady's expression was hard. "If they were really as weak as they appear, their Doctor Hunt would've been a joke. The people could've united to stop it, especially with Dalton's strength. But nobody could defeat the fusion, and the sword is incredibly tough."

Wapol smirked and so did Chessmarimo. Hirox sighed and looked at us, but I couldn't tell what he was doing other than that. He waved his arm at the fused subordinates.

"Oi, can I have my Night Saber now-kuranku?" he grumbled. Chuckling menacingly, his nakama tossed the gleaming iron weapon to him, and he caught it by the gilded plum hilt smoothly. Hirox adjusted his grip on it, his armor clanking as he did so.

"Rules of Drum Kingdom, number 1," the country's ex-king recited as we tensed and got ready for the fight. "Those who disobey the King, die! That's how this country works!"

I grunted, sick of hearing the idiot factory-dude speak. "Urusai!" I barked. "I don't care about your damn rules! I'm no freaking weakling! I'M A KAIZOKU, AND THE GODS HAVE LOST FAVOR IN YOU ALL!"

"The gods?" Hirox muttered. "What are you talking about? There's no gods or God."

I glared at him. "Oh, yes there is! And I now that for a fact, because God is my grandfather!"

The man's grip tightened. "Nani? So then you claim to be a demigod?"

Wapol tic-pulsed. "Silence! I refuse to be ignored! I already plan to execute the girl, but Hirox, I'll throw you in the dungeons if you continue to speak out of line!" I growled at him in anger and opened my mouth to say something else, while Hirox had shut up, but before I could speak, the bastard continued. "Because this country is MY country and this castle is MY castle! The last thing I'll ever allow is that lousy coot of a doctor's flag flying over it?"

_Doctor's flag?_ I wondered silently, having a momentary brain fart. I looked behind me to the top of the roof. Fluttering proudly in the frigid wind was a black flag with a Jolly Roger behind four pink rose petals.

"It defiles the castle!"

_BA-BOOM!_

Chopper gasped in horror. I did, too, when I saw a cannonball fly into the turret of the castle that the flag had been posted on. A plume of black smoke rose into the air as rubble showered down on us. The sakura petal flag began to fall, almost in slow motion, like the mark of something big.

_A pirate's flag..._ I thought to myself. _That was a pirate's flag that bastard shot down. And judging by Chopper's reaction, it belonged to some body close to him... must've been Doctor Hiriluk._

No matter whose it was, I knew Lucy wasn't gonna be happy at all now. I knew that I wasn't happy at all. The little doctor had grown on me since the first second I'd met him, even before I remembered that he was our future crewmate, and hell if I was gonna let a blow to him like that go unavenged!

"A kaizoku mark..." Lucy said. "Oi, reindeer. That flag..."

A bead of sweat trickled down Chopper's cheek. There was a tense pause, then suddenly he took off across the snowy mountain peak at a mad dash, screaming, "YOU BASTARDS! THAT'S DOCTOR'S FLAG!" Chessmarimo reached out to stop him and Hirox grunted, swinging the Night Saber in a quick downward cut at him, but the reindeer leaped into the over the fused subordinate's head, both attacks missing. Chopper went into the yeti form and landed on the transformed Wapol's chest, gripping the cannibal's fur coat collar angrily. "The Doctor was... trying to save you as well!" He drew back his now-huge fist for a punch, but suddenly froze.

There was another tense pause.

I swallowed dryly.

My new friend's body shook a little, and an edge of reluctance was in his voice. "I'm... I'm not gonna hit you... if you just leave this country now!" the doctor offered.

...What?

_What?_

"Oi, Chopper-chan!" I called. "A bastard like him doesn't understand love and caring! He won't change! Just punch him already!"

"Why, you insolent - -" Hirox growled.

Doctorine jumped in, stepping forward and looking shocked as well. "Yeah, what are you doing, Chopper!? Do you actually think you can reason with somebody like that?"

"But...! I just..."

Wapol smirked and pointed a cannon in the reindeer-human's face at point-blank range. I gasped in horror and reached a hand out, but before I could do anything, there was another massive explosion and he was sent flying backwards into the cold snow.

"CHOPPER!" the old lady and I yelled.

My eyes widened. "Oh, gods!"

"Oi, Jamaguchi!" Lucy yelled, her voice sounding a bit distant. We all looked around for her, but I found her first. She was standing firm on the same turret as the flag, which had now been reattached to its flag pole with the help of one of the sleeves from Nami's coat. I winced. Even though it was for a good cause, the petty navigator wouldn't like our captain damaging one of her possessions.

"Straw Hat!" Wapol exclaimed.

The rubbergirl's voice was laced with fury and confidence. "You being a kaizoku was all a big fat lie, wasn't it? A kaizoku who wouldn't risk his life... you don't the meaning of this kaizoku mark!"

"What is he... doing?" Chopper grunted.

"The meaning of that flag you say, Straw Hat?" the idiot mused.

Hirox scoffed. "Don't be stupid! There's no meaning in that flag! It's just a stupid piece of canvas that doesn't deserve to exist anymore!"

"URUSAI! YOU'RE TALKING OUT OF PLACE AGAIN! ...But yes, what he said. Muahahaha! It's just a stupid decoration!"

My beautiful captain shook her head, a little amused. "That's why you're so weak!"

"Nani!?"

"This is not a flag you can fly as a joke!"

"You kaba! As if I, the King, would be caught dead waving a kaizoku flag! Don't you dare put that kaba flag back up there!"

I sweatdropped. "But wasn't there one on your submarine...? And she kinda already did..."

Wapol chose to ignore me and raised his cannon-arm again, once more aiming for the right turret.

_KABOOM_.

"Get down from there!" Chopper begged, scrambling to his feet in a panic. "You'll be killed!"

Lucy's decision was firm. She didn't move a muscle. "You think you can destroy this flag?" she shouted. The missile smashed into the turret, sending another plume of smoke and shower of rubble into the air.

"Lucy-sama!" Sanji gasped.

"A direct hit!" the local old lady said.

I crossed my arms. "A simple cannon can't hurt Lucy, bakas."

"I bet that sent you flying, kaba!" Wapol yelled, erupting into laughter. But when the smoke on top of Drum Kingdom cleared, Lucy was revealed, keeping a firm grip on the flag pole of Doctor Hiriluk's flag.

"Look! You can't destroy it!"

The ex-king's laughter was cut short.

"I... Impossible!" Chessmarimo declared, his voice warped from having two separate voices at the same time. "She must be insane!"

"No, the girl's got to have a Devil Fruit," Hirox reasoned, tensing his leg muscles. "This should be an interesting fight."

Lucy continued her speech. "I don't know whose kaizoku flag this is, or where it's from, but this is a flag you pledge your life to. You don't fly it as a JOKE!" I could see my breath as I exhaled, but a warm feeling was settling in my chest. When she was angry or serious, Lucy could be... sorta sexy. "THIS ISN'T A FLAG YOU CAN BREAK DOWN AND LAUGH AT! It will never be destroyed. The skull-and-crossbones is a symbol of conviction!"

Heh. And they say Lucy is dumb.

It was time for the battles to begin.

* * *

**Luffy's speeches are the best. He says them with such a badass tone and fury that it really drives home the fact that although he may be an idiot at times, he sure as hell knows the most important stuff. That's one of the reasons why I love One Piece! Sorry I posted this chapter so late. I had to work an All-You-Can-Eat egg breakfast and had play practice immediately after that this morning, from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. It kinda sucked balls. **

Diamond: I'm finally gonna fight that Hirox moron! YOSHA! FOR CUTE REINDEER!

Chopper: You baka human~! Calling me cute won't make me happy~!

Usopp: *sweatdrops* You sure look happy to me...

Lucy: EH!? Where'd you come from? I thought you were back at that Dighorn place!

Diamond: Er... it's "Bighorn," Lucy-chan...

**Hope you enjoyed this newest update! To all of you new to this story, please follow and/or favorite it! It will boost my confidence and allow you to be updated whenever I post a new chapter. Also, I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave a review - - doesn't have to be a long one, even a short one will do. But I'd really like to hear your thoughts! What did you like? What did you think was funny? Tell me!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


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